PART TWO
"I   W A N T   Y O U"
II : XIV

The first thing Baekhyun felt was confusion when he woke up without Chanyeol next to him. The second thing he felt was, even more, confusion when he thought back to what he had done yesterday. The third thing he felt was a tiny tinge of sadness, wondering why Chanyeol hadn't woken him up before he left for work. They always woke up together to cuddle a little before leaving to do mindless stuff.

Baekhyun tossed the blankets off of him, deciding that he should get those emails finished (which were due yesterday, but Baekhyun wanted to live a little). As he stepped into the showers, he figured that an emergency happened over at Viva Polo, which would be the only excuse he would take from Chanyeol—else he was going to attack him with the puppy eyes that he knew his boyfriend couldn't resist. The brunet smiled to himself as he dressed casually, drying his hair messily as he sat down at his desk, his laptop already fully charged and ready to use.

After around an hour of sending update emails to his clients and suppliers, Baekhyun found himself cooing at Mongryong, sitting down on the floor to play around with him absent-mindedly as he texted Chanyeol. 

 

baekhyun 
i expect full compensation for the cuddles that didn't happen this morning.

 

Ten minutes later, he received a reply from Chanyeol. 

 

porkyeol ;)
Mhm


 

Baekhyun pouted to himself, running his hand over Mongryong's back as he wondered if he could telepathically show Chanyeol that he was sulking. 

 

baekhyun
:c

 

He didn't get a reply after that and he let out an overexaggerated groan, flopping onto his back with Mongryong pressed to his side, giving him the company that Chanyeol was supposed to be giving him.

Kris probably exploded the building, knowing him, and Chanyeol was too busy with it to reply to Baekhyun. The brunet didn't want to take everything too seriously so he settled with that explanation, standing up tiredly to put on some proper workout clothes. He chose to go on a jog around the neighbourhood, figuring that Mongryong was still too small to keep up with him and pressing a kiss to the top of his head before leaving his apartment.

Baekhyun made a plan for the rest of his day, deciding that after he finished his jog and took a shower, he'd head over to Viva Polo to see Chanyeol and finish the rest of his paperwork later.

He to an unfamiliar street, admiring the withering trees and the grey sky (it wasn't that he liked dead things, he was just excited for winter). Baekhyun pulled up the collar of his sweater a little higher, wishing that he had worn something a little thicker as he to another block. It was obvious how the quality in houses declined the further he got away from his apartment block, three-storied houses turning into two-storied, and so on.

Around 45 minutes later, when he was about to round back to his place, he tiredly jogged past a familiar figure, slowing in his tracks when he made eye contact with the person.

"Baekhyun," Jongin greeted and the male nodded, catching his breath as he took a sip out of the mini water bottle he had brought with him.

"I didn't know you lived here," Baekhyun speculated and Jongin laughed, tugging on the leash that held two of his dogs, stopping them from peeing on his neighbour's lawn.

"Of course you didn't, we haven't talked in around ten years."

Baekhyun only nodded again, feeling the cold air turn awkward as he wondered what to say.

"Look," Jongin began before Baekhyun could think up of any conversation starters, "I'm... sorry, about what I said before, that was really idiotic." He scratched the back of his head with his free hand, shuffling on his feet, "I don't know what you're like now, so I'm not privileged to say something like that."

Baekhyun gave him a small smile, feeling relief flood through him. "I'm sorry, too... For what happened with Sehun and all."

"I don't care about that anymore," Jongin confessed, giving him the same awkward but relieved smile, "You could say that it's a good thing that we broke up. I wouldn't want to be stuck with someone that unloyal."

At that moment, the door to the one-storied house opened and Kyungsoo came out, dressed warmly as he locked up the place. The two of them watched as the doe-eyed boy walked down the driveway, his smile friendly when he saw Baekhyun.

"Hey Baekhyun. It's quite a nice day to be jogging right?" Kyungsoo greeted and Baekhyun nodded, watching as Kyungsoo gave a knowing smile to Jongin, the shorter boy's eyes holding a gentleness that Baekhyun hadn't noticed from high school.

Kyungsoo had definitely changed. He seemed to be smiling more and he was now open with his feelings, unlike how he was when Baekhyun had known him.

"I guess we'll be on our way," Jongin gave Baekhyun a farewell smile and Baekhyun waved once they started on their walk, the couple linking hands.

Baekhyun guessed that the change he noticed in Kyungsoo was because of Jongin. He was glad that Kyungsoo had met someone who brought the best out of him and vice versa, wondering if Chanyeol and he were the same.

Did he bring out the best in Chanyeol?

Did Chanyeol bring out the best in him?

Baekhyun couldn't help but question it, feeling like he knew the answer to the latter but not to the former.

Chanyeol made him feel alive—kept him grounded and sane. Chanyeol was, for the most part, the reason why Baekhyun started to overlook his feelings for others'.

It's crazy, he thought as he turned the corner and began heading back to his apartment. It was crazy how Chanyeol had only been with him for around 4 months and had succeeded in making teenager Baekhyun stumble over his words and blush at command.

Teenager Baekhyun—the bratty, thoughtless, and unkind that believed nobody deserved him—fell for Chanyeol so hard.

Baekhyun smiled to himself, realizing that in some aspects, he hadn't changed one bit.

Love always did the strangest of things.

~

It was odd how Baekhyun had been feeling like this for a while; this soaring feeling in his heart whenever he saw Chanyeol, this warm feeling in his stomach whenever Chanyeol smiled and this fluttering feeling he'd receive whenever Chanyeol kissed him... It was odd that nothing had changed, but now that Baekhyun was planning to tell Chanyeol—planning to tell him that he had Baekhyun completely smitten from the beginning—the feelings seemed incredibly prominent.

He was nervous yet he was also excited, planning whether or not he should just blurt it out or to prepare a whole night in order to say the infamous three-worded sentence. Would Chanyeol even care? Was Baekhyun just overreacting and the taller already knew when they had begun dating?

Baekhyun would be equal parts disappointed and glad if Chanyeol knew that he loved him, since he wanted to tell him himself but was also nervous at the same time.

As he stepped out of his car and entered Viva Polo, he figured that he should plan the evening out a little.

He sat down at the bar that he had first met Chanyeol at after ten years, his fingers gliding over the smooth granite as he mapped out his plan.

When Chanyeol was finished with work, they'd buy some food for a fancy dinner and Baekhyun would try to cook his mom's specialty, and if that succeeded, they'd eat and play some games before heading to bed to cuddle a little. When their perfect night would be on the brink of finishing, Baekhyun would say it then, when he could hold Chanyeol and hear his heartbeat when he said those words.

The brunet liked the sound of that way too much, having to bite his bottom lip to stop the big smile attempting to grace his face.

It was in that moment that the object of his imaginations appeared, a smile on the taller's lips as he saw Baekhyun sitting there.

"Hey," he greeted after he checked if there were any customers to attend to. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither. I felt like having a little bit of wine tonight."

Right as Baekhyun said that, Chanyeol began preparing his favourite wine (some white wine type called Gewürztraminer that Baekhyun knew he'd never be capable of pronouncing). When he slid the cup to Baekhyun, he settled down into the wooden stool behind the counter, leaning his head in his hand as he watched Baekhyun drink.

There was a fond look in his eyes—along with something that seemed to be sadness.

Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows, placing his cup down as Chanyeol only kept staring at him with that same stare, as if lost in his thoughts.

The shorter poked his forearm and watched as Chanyeol blinked twice, raising his eyebrows as if to ask Baekhyun what he wanted. "What's on your mind?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"You," Chanyeol answered easily, to which Baekhyun only laughed, pulling his wine glass up to his lips to hide the remaining smile. "You wanna do something after I'm done work?"

Baekhyun pouted after finishing his sip, staring at Chanyeol accusingly. "Definitely. Not saying I'm clingy or anything, but I'm extremely clingy and I need my morning cuddles."

Chanyeol laughed, that fraction of sadness disappearing in his eyes and Baekhyun could tell that he was inwardly cooing at him, since that was his expression whenever Toben nuzzled his hand.

And now, just sitting here and watching Chanyeol's amused appearance, the fact that he was so deeply invested into Chanyeol surfaced in his mind again.

Baekhyun sighed, his own smile settling onto his face as he wished that he was on the opposite side of the counter, where he could pull Chanyeol down by the collar of his shirt and kiss him until they were both breathless.

It was only moments after that Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol had the same goals as him, but his plan of execution was much more effective. The giant leaned forward, his height making it easier to reach Baekhyun who was on the other side of the slim counter, the hand not used for balance coming up to Baekhyun's chin and tilting it up a smidge. When Chanyeol seemed satisfied with the setup, he slot his lips on Baekhyun's, uncaring about the onlookers as they shared an innocent kiss that seemed to last for ages.

When they pulled away, Baekhyun's heart was racing and his breathing was labored, even when they did nothing but stay there in the same position the entire time, lips on the other's.

It was probably the way that Chanyeol had just kissed him or the way Chanyeol looked at him right after, that had Baekhyun thinking that Chanyeol was probably just as close to confessing to him.

Chanyeol left after he grabbed Baekhyun's hand and swiped his thumb over the smooth skin, giving it a squeeze and smiling before he turned wordlessly.

An hour later, Baekhyun was still sitting in the same spot, his cheeks pink as he recalled their kiss.

It wasn't like the kisses that they had been sharing recently (those were great in their own way). The one that they had just shared reminded Baekhyun of when Chanyeol had kissed him the first time, simultaneously stealing his first kiss. It made Baekhyun's heart swell and he felt like a kid all over again. He felt like he was just beginning to fall in love with Chanyeol when he had already begun long ago; he felt as if his feelings were just as explosive as when he had been young and ignorant. It felt the same—but this time...

This time, he wouldn't leave Chanyeol.

~

The two of them left Viva Polo the moment Chanyeol's restaurant closed, the shorter tightly hugging Chanyeol who smelt of delicious food and mint all at once. Chanyeol had wrapped his arms around him, his smile transparent in his love for Baekhyun.

They went to Walmart shortly after, parking their cars next to each other's and laughing at the flirtatious signs they sent (Baekhyun's being a flying kiss to Chanyeol when the giant turned to look through his window).

The two were being extremely cheesy but they didn't mind it one bit, linking hands as they strolled through the aisles.

"Tonight, I'm going to make the dish that my mom taught me a long time ago. I might've forgotten it but I still have the recipe in my notebook," Baekhyun stated and Chanyeol nodded, leading them through the store effortlessly (perks of having previous experience as a worker here). He led them to the baby food section, the shorter too distracted to even notice. "I have the list of ingredients here."

When he pulled out a scrap piece of paper, Chanyeol grabbed it, observing it for a second or two before splitting it in half. Handing a piece to Baekhyun, he said: "First one to get all their ingredients wins. We meet back here when we're done."

Baekhyun had only smirked, challenging the taller as he snatched the paper. "You're on."

Chanyeol began counting down, and when he was just about to say "two," Baekhyun cut him off.

"Let the Food Games begin!"

"It's 'let the Hunger Games begin!'" Chanyeol protested as Baekhyun dashed away without caring, laughing at his boyfriend.

Baekhyun had seemed to achieve all the fresh foods, which were probably easier to fetch than the spices and other weird ingredients. The store was relatively empty because of the fact that it was a weekday and it was getting late, and he was infinitely grateful that he didn't have to dodge anyone. He began picking out the meat, running to the other side of the store to get the greens and taking back his claim when he nearly tripped over this little girl waddling about.

After apologizing profusely, he picked up what he needed and did one last stop for an extra bag of Doritos, speed walking back to the finish area. He had probably taken five minutes at worst, which was probably a good thing. When he got back to where he started, he finally noticed that the had made their checkpoint the baby aisle, remembering a time when he was obsessed with baby crackers (to be fair, he still was, but that's not the point).

He stood there for a minute or two, waiting for any signs of life or Chanyeol. This particular section of the store seemed to have nobody, so when he heard footsteps, he was already preparing his winning speech, grinning from ear to ear.

The person who turned the corner wasn't Chanyeol, rather, it was Jongdae, holding a box full of what seemed to be baby clothes.

"Oh... hey," Baekhyun greeted, feeling a little awkward standing in this aisle with his arms full.

Jongdae nodded, taking a few steps before stopping altogether, giving Baekhyun a stare that he couldn't decipher.

The worker shook his head and put the box down as he began rearranging the clothes, placing the tiny hangers where they belonged as Baekhyun kept his lips in a straight line, observing what he used to consider his "best friend".

Even now, that tinge of sympathy hadn't disappeared, no matter what Jongdae had done in the past. He wondered if Jongdae had a stable place to live, whether he had a family or could pay the bills adequately to leave space for hobbies.

"You and Chanyeol..." Jongdae began, breaking the silence, "It worked out?"

Baekhyun blinked a few times, realizing that Jongdae had probably seen them together at one point or another. "Y-Yeah, I guess..."

Jongdae wasn't supposed to be intimidating him—he was in his Walmart's worker clothes, for god's sake—but he scared Baekhyun anyway. Staring at Jongdae, in no matter what state, always reminded him of what the guy was capable of. It made him nervous, and perhaps it was because of the fact that he sort of admired the guy, too.

The entire time back in high school, he had only stuck around those three because he always wanted to be them back in elementary school. They were loud and they didn't care about anyone's opinions, becoming everyone's favourites because of their jokes and jeers. Sure, it was a little rude how they made Kim Taeyeon cry by calling her braids ugly, but that didn't stop Baekhyun from wanting to be them.

After high school started and he found himself around those three, he wanted to get closer—to not be alone. And so he joined them, without realizing that he became the opposite of what he hoped to become. Instead of becoming someone who didn't care about what people thought, he became someone who cared way too much, especially the opinions of his so-called friends.

He had wanted Jongdae to admire him the way he had admired the boy, but alas it had never happened. Instead, Baekhyun had only fallen into his trap.

"Do you love him?"

Those words snapped Baekhyun out of his thoughts, his brain tripping over itself as he stared at Jongdae's unblinking eyes, feeling his insides crumble. It seemed that even after all these years, Jongdae still had that power over him.

This time, for real, Baekhyun felt as if he was back to being who he used to be. So caught up in the thoughts of what to say to appease others, to make them think that he didn't care, to make them think he wasn't who he actually was. It was evident, how weak Baekhyun was, because of the fact that this new person he was building of himself had disintegrated the moment he saw one of the people—the person who had been his reason of resent to his past. It made him realize that he hadn't really changed, after all.

Baekhyun was still so, so weak.

"No," Baekhyun answered.

He regretted it the moment the word came out of his mouth, but he found himself stuck in his spot, his limbs like lead and his mouth useless. He couldn't correct himself fast enough for the topic of the conversation to leave behind him.

That word was exactly what it seemed like. A desperate plea for the recognition of someone Baekhyun used to admire. 

Some part of him still thought that he had to impress Jongdae, in one way or another. 

And then, silence, so quiet that if a pin was dropped, everyone in the store would be able to hear it.

Baekhyun watched as Jongdae wordlessly hung up clothes the size of his forearm, his face emotionless.

"You love him," Jongdae broke the silence. "You always have."

Baekhyun's hands clenched on the bags' handles when he remembered Jongdae saying something similar back in high school, followed by the tilt of his patronizing grin as he stared at Baekhyun, daring him to deny. 

The memories made Baekhyun regret his previous answer even more, and he was just about to say that yes, yes he loved Chanyeol and had for a long time ago, that yes, he had fallen for someone that had been the of the joke back in the day.

But Jongdae acted first, turning to look at Baekhyun with the smallest of a smile on his face, his eyes holding a kindness that Baekhyun couldn't believe resided there. "And that's okay."

Baekhyun blanched at his words, simply blinking when Jongdae picked up his box and left, the elder out of the two nearly falling to the ground after processing those words.

If he was given all of the adjectives to describe what he was feeling, he wouldn't have been able to choose one that would correspond. 

"And that's okay", Baekhyun thought about the phrase over and over again, questioning how such a small statement could flip his world. All that he knew was that Jongdae didn't care anymore and neither did he, which seemed to be something that flipped a switch in his head. 

The brunet his heel the moment he found what he wanted to do, the bags near his knees knocking into his legs as he ran to the condiments section.

Maybe this was what he needed this entire time.

He didn't need to know that he loved Chanyeol—he knew that for a long time now. He didn't need Chanyeol to confess first. He didn't need anything else but this.

The knowledge that it was okay to love Chanyeol, even after all of the things he had done. 

The fact that it was okay to be selfish once in a while, if it was for something you knew would be worth it. 

Baekhyun didn't need a fancy dinner or a perfect night to confess to Chanyeol. He'd do it right here and now.

His heart was beating so loudly in his chest, his footsteps swift as he combed every aisle in the store, searching for the tall stature and dark hair. His fists clenched in anticipation at the thought of finally pouring out his feelings for Chanyeol and putting his heart on his sleeve, for Chanyeol to take even if he had already caught it a long time ago.

And Baekhyun was smiling so widely, looking like the reenactment of a teenage boy falling in love for the first time—his vision blinded and his nerves on fire... even when Chanyeol had already left.

His footsteps slowed when he didn't find Chanyeol anywhere in the store, randomly shoving his bags onto a shelf and doing a quick run through once more, furrowing his eyebrows. He thought that maybe Chanyeol was playing a prank on him, calling out his name a few times and checking the washroom. 

When there was no apparent sign of him, Baekhyun exited the store, feeling his heart drop in his stomach as he thought about Chanyeol just up and leaving.

Baekhyun made his way over to where they had parked together, expecting (hoping) to find Chanyeol's expensive as hell car beside his own, expensive as hell car.

It wasn't the wine that made Baekhyun's stomach twist—rather, it was the feeling of confusion and betrayal when he found the parking spot empty.