PART TWO
"I W A N T Y O U"
II : VI

Chanyeol didn't know how to describe what he felt when he saw Kris and Baekhyun together.

It was a mixture of unease and anger, feeling even more agitated when Baekhyun avoided any contact with him at all. The way that the two had laughed while eating dinner, getting to know each other better and probably developing crushes—for some reason Chanyeol couldn't stomach that.

And it was idiotic, because he shouldn't be feeling these things. He had other, more important things in his life, like Wendy and his restaurant and how to smuggle his new dog Toben into his apartment. He shouldn't be thinking about someone he attempted to get over for many, many years, even if it didn't entirely work.

Chanyeol felt as if he still had some remnants of their relationship with him. Even if he changed completely on the outside, it was impossible for him to completely change on the inside.

But Baekhyun, was the opposite.

At first, when they met again after multiple years, he felt a little glad that Baekhyun hadn't changed—that he was still so predictable and that his smile was still regrettably adorable.

But now that Chanyeol had a good look at Baekhyun, he noticed that he wasn't the same, at all.

It was like something was always holding him back, like he was scared of doing things that he wouldn't have cared about in the past.

Baekhyun put up a front, seeming stubborn and strong-witted, but Chanyeol saw past those things. It had been a long time, but he still recognized when Baekhyun was hesitant—when he was afraid. And when it used to be rare that Chanyeol saw Baekhyun acting unsure, it was now normal that he did.

Even with the way he ate and the way that he took his steps, Chanyeol saw that he was scared.

It made him wonder what happened in these past ten years, what kind of achievements Baekhyun received, all the downfalls that he experienced...

That's why he said it.

"Let's forget that 'us' ever happened."

He recognized that Baekhyun's past was holding him back, and if the people around him constantly held onto their past, Baekhyun would do the same. He wanted Baekhyun to be free of all the worries he had back in the day—wanted him to forget everything that his so-called friends said.

But Chanyeol could see that along with that, Baekhyun had also become more considerate. He thought about other people more, and he put care into the things he said, apologizing when he needed to. He could see that Baekhyun became a better person.

He didn't want to get back with Baekhyun—that wasn't what he was trying to do at the moment. He still hadn't forgiven Baekhyun for what he did—he didn't think he ever would—because even if Baekhyun had terrible people influencing him, it was still his choices that led to the final result. Baekhyun put him through all of this heart ache, but even so, Chanyeol didn't want Baekhyun to feel the same.

If possible, Chanyeol just wanted to restart.

Press a reset button.

Because even if they had dated each other for only a few months, Chanyeol had known Baekhyun for much longer. Even then, he saw the kindness behind Baekhyun's offbeat actions, which was why Chanyeol tried so hard to get to Baekhyun and to let him act on that kindness. The entirety of high school, Chanyeol recognized that Baekhyun had the ability and the thought to care, but instead he surrounded himself with people who would only ever hurt him. Chanyeol always wondered why that was, and to this day he still didn't quite understand.

Nonetheless, he wanted to start anew with Baekhyun, if the shorter allowed it.

~

Baekhyun heard from Kris that the Viva Polo get-together had been pushed back a week, due to the fact that nearly half the staff couldn't make it for the originally planned date. The short man was glad, because he didn't want to see Chanyeol in the next three days—he couldn't handle that.

He let out a sigh as he ate his watermelon popsicle, staring out at the park where multiple kids were screaming and playing around. Baekhyun remembered a time where he was like that too, but life had forced him to mature quicker so instead, he spent his elementary days studying hard, listening to his parent's commands word by word. He regretted it now, because all that effort didn't even land him a job that he wanted. 

When he was young, he thought that he'd have the best life ever, since he was Baekbeom's younger brother and the older would have to take over the company whereas he would be able to do whatever he wished to do, with the support of his family. 

Of course, all of those dreams went spiraling down the drain.

Honestly, it wasn't the easiest thing for a five-year-old to witness the break up of their parents, but Baekhyun had done just that.

It wasn't meant to change much—his parents broke up but kept living together, working as the power "couple" in the retailing industry. They had met as owners of two different companies and fell in love, but after Baekhyun's birth, that fire blew out without second notice. The divorce was wanted on both sides and they were allowed to do as they pleased. Baekhyun's mom kept living in his dad's house just to make life easier, and though she wasn't abusive or the like, it was hard on Baekhyun as he was growing up. Seeing his mom bring different guys into the house and woo them with her riches, her original husband sitting on the side with a nonchalant look on his face—it broke Baekhyun to pieces.

Unlike in those stories he read, he didn't stop "believing" in love or some bull just because his parents didn't work out. Though he still knew that love was possible for everyone including him, he also knew how quickly it fell apart—how quickly it died. It was a matter of how much love had been there in the first place, and in his parent's case, it clearly wasn't enough. People and relationships would always fall apart and Baekhyun knew that, having experienced it in front of him and first-hand all the same.

He searched for someone who could light that fire in him but it never came, even after 27 years of living his life as a handsome bachelor, that spark never appeared... or should he say, it never stayed.

Baekhyun felt it while looking at crooked glasses and stupid drawings, comic tees and clumsy actions—but he guessed that it hadn't been enough. Had it?

If it had been enough, why didn't it stay with him until now? Was this feeling of jealousy for the girl currently with his old fire—did that mean that it never stopped burning?

Baekhyun watched the family of three mess around with a soccer ball, laughing and playing games all in good nature. 

Baekhyun wished to have something like that, but he wondered if he could ever allow himself to feel that kind of happiness. It was unrealistic and completely impossible but Baekhyun blamed himself for the separation of his parents—after all, the only fighting they had was about who would take care of him next. At that time, Baekbeom was old enough to go to school, which meant that Baekhyun was always there on the odd days where he didn't have kindergarten. He remembered his mom getting frustrated, telling her husband that she had to go out even if he had a business meeting at the same time. And then, the argument would only continue as they were both late for their appointments and they later decided to just shove Baekhyun into a daycare, leaving him in the hands of someone else. 

Growing up, the pain never subsided because he watched as his parents seemingly got back together and broke up all over again. He couldn't count how many times his mom and dad seemed to be making up before something would ruin it again and they would turn their backs on each other, ignoring all the progress that they made. Near the end of elementary school was when Baekhyun started getting used to it, the cold stares from his parents becoming a daily thing in his life that he decided to live with. 

But even now, he recalled the whispers of the daycare workers who pitied him, asking why his parents were always at least two hours late for the general pickup time of all the other kids. Baekhyun would sit there and play with his toys, sometimes hang out on the second floor where the other kids weren't allowed, and he never let their words get to him. It didn't matter if the other adults didn't understand because Baekhyun knew that his parents were just too busy to take care of him, and he was alright... at least, he thought so. Being alone like that was probably what made him hate being lonely in the future, always seeking for some sort of company or reassurance. 

The only thing that comforted Baekhyun during those days was his older brother who picked him up after his school was finished, getting him ice cream and playing games with him. Their relationship was strong, but just like Baekhyun mentioned before, everything had a limit.

"Baekhyun, hey," Kris said as he sat down in the seat next to him, late like he was to all of their other meet-ups. "Sorry to keep you waiting. You got ice cream?"

Baekhyun nodded and gave him a half smile, finishing off his popsicle and tossing it into the garbage bin beside him. 

The two stood up and began taking a walk through the park, the shorter making sure to keep at least a ruler of distance between them. Kris was an okay guy, but Baekhyun wasn't so sure about this relationship with him. He just felt like a friend.

"I got promoted today," Kris mentioned once the silence had dragged on for too long, the sun high over their heads now. 

"Really? That's great," Baekhyun said sincerely, since he knew that Kris was currently saving up to buy a telescope. "What did you do?"

"I guess Chanyeol just likes me? I don't know, but that guy's family is loaded."

Baekhyun nodded, stopping short when he registered what Kris had said. "Are you sure about that?" he questioned warily, giving Kris a weird gaze.

The pastel-haired man remembered what Chanyeol had said, about how his family was poor and how he had to take on two jobs by himself... And his house wasn't that extravagant either. It was ordinary. 

"Yeah, one hundred percent sure. He told me that his dad owned multiple branches of bars while his mom owned restaurants."  

"B–But..." Baekhyun trailed off, at a complete loss of words. 

That's when it occurred to him that maybe Chanyeol had been lying to the whole school, not wanting gold diggers to chase after him and pretend to be his friend. He was a terribly just guy, and it seemed to be something that he'd do without a second thought. 

"You good there?" Kris asked when Baekhyun never finished his sentence. The shorter simply nodded, still baffled at this turn of events. He remembered hearing from his trio of friends that Chanyeol always had the same lunch because he couldn't afford anything different. 

The phrase: "Don't judge a book by its cover" was giving Baekhyun the biggest slap in the face, because Chanyeol was the exact definition of that.

He used to be the average-sized nerd with the annoying voice, supposedly poor, and a huge -up to the teachers. Now, he owned a popular restaurant, made both genders swoon with his voice and towered over Baekhyun like it was nobody's business.

When Baekhyun thought back, he realized that it made sense. He knew that Chanyeol having a Mercedes while supposedly being "poor" was fishy. Why didn't he realize it sooner?

Not that it really changed anything, because Baekhyun didn't need money like some other people out there. Maybe before, back when he still had his list of must haves for a boyfriend, Baekhyun would've cared about their income. But after years of dating rich s, Baekhyun couldn't find it in himself to think about money anymore.

He was tempted to hit his head when he remembered that Chanyeol lived in the apartment across from him, which would have been impossible had he not been rich. 

Baekhyun sighed as they rounded the whole place and returned to the bench from earlier. 

"Wanna get dinner?" Kris asked and Baekhyun nodded.

There were so many things that he didn't know about Chanyeol, it seemed.