Double update so if you haven't read the last chapter, please do!

PART ONE
"I  R E G R E T  Y O U"
I : IX

The memories came back to Baekhyun randomly during the day, reminding him of a certain dumbo's smile and laugh.

He abruptly stopped in the hallways then, his surroundings turning into nothingness as he remembered the way the caramel-haired boy would stare at him. Even now, it made Baekhyun's stomach twist nervously as something he couldn't describe filled his chest.

He'd always shake the thoughts away, reminding himself that Chanyeol, the one infiltrating his mind, was nothing but his randomly selected instrument of choice for Sehun, who had begun to answer Baekhyun's texts with flirty words of his own.

Baekhyun would nod, determined to keep his mindset the same, before continuing on his merry way.

But it was just a continuous loop.

The ravenette would be freed of his thoughts for a day—or more often than not, less than a day—before they came back full force, reminding him of what had happened three weeks ago.

"Baekhyun?" Sehun called, taking his attention away. "Let's go."
 

~

"Baekhyun, are you alright?"

The elder looked up and locked eyes with the person he least expected to see, his mind swimming with questions and worries about why Chanyeol out of all people was hovering above him, with Heechul groaning in pain on the ground.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun had questioned drowsily, suddenly wondering how he had gone from being pinned against the wall to being embraced by someone he had pushed away twice.

Baekhyun could feel the way Chanyeol's hands were slightly shaking as he patted Baekhyun's hair, trying to calm him down even when he was freaking out more.

Why? Baekhyun wanted to ask, Why are you everywhere?

"Let's go Baekhyun," Chanyeol said as he released Baekhyun, grabbing his hand and pulling Baekhyun up with a lot of struggle.

Baekhyun, even if Chanyeol was eager to leave, was still drowning in his inebriated thoughts, not cooperating with Chanyeol nor his own body.

He wondered if he had passed out and was now dreaming, staring at the back of Chanyeol's head as he took Baekhyun further away from trouble. A sudden urge to touch Chanyeol's soft hair appeared, and Baekhyun's mind had no barriers to stop him from doing exactly so. In the next second, he had reached out and randomly smoothed his hand down the back of Chanyeol's head, receiving the squeeze of his hand from the other as his only response.

Chanyeol somehow managed to drag Baekhyun out of the dark hallway, stopping by at the bar to report the man Baekhyun now deemed a rat, before taking Baekhyun out of the club.

Chanyeol helped Baekhyun get into the car and Baekhyun decided then that he would comply, sliding in and curling up on the seat without a care in the world.

The next minutes were spent in silence, with Chanyeol focusing on the road while Baekhyun thought of how Chanyeol found him. Of course, with the obvious factor that Baekhyun had been drinking less than half an hour ago, all reasons were stupid. They ranged from Chanyeol tracking Baekhyun down with some technology that he had placed on Baekhyun's shirt, to aliens whispering in Chanyeol's ear about Baekhyun's whereabouts.

"Where's your house?" Chanyeol questioned just as Baekhyun was beginning to drift off, waking him up as he let out a low whine from being interrupted.

"I don't want to go home," Baekhyun mumbled, surprising the other as Baekhyun only snuggled into the seat closer. "P'rents," he finished almost inaudibly, his head lolling as he fell asleep.

"Wait, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asked as he glanced at the said man, trying not to take his attention off of the road, "I can't just take you anywhere," he said desperately, hoping that the sleeping puppy would wake up.

As a red light came up, Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun's closed eyes and listened to his steady breathing, sighing deeply when he remembered that Baekhyun hadn't shown up to any of the locations he had sent him over the past week.

It hurt, but Chanyeol was beginning to accept that maybe he was just getting boring to Baekhyun.

Ever since the beginning, he had his insecurities about not being enough for someone like Baekhyun, who seemed to hold himself on a really high pedestal. But since Baekhyun seemed to like confident people, he always hid the insecurities from him, acting like he didn't usually act in front of others.

Chanyeol smiled bittersweetly at Baekhyun's sleeping form, taking his gaze away as he started driving again.

He remembered getting a text from Jongdae an hour ago, their conversation starting off with Jongdae asking Chanyeol what he was doing at the moment. A few minutes into the convo, he suddenly started talking about how Baekhyun was at a club alone, completely drunk.

Without a second thought, Chanyeol had rushed to the club all while forgetting that Baekhyun probably hated his guts, his mind filled with worries for his... boyfriend.

He spent at least ten minutes looking around at the dance and bar area all while calling Baekhyun, and he nearly left until he remembered that he hadn't checked the washrooms yet.

When he found Baekhyun like that, completely powerless, he felt a fire burning inside of him that only intensified when he saw the ravenette's teary eyes.

If Baekhyun wasn't currently sleeping, Chanyeol would probably be ranting and scolding him about how dangerous it was to do such a thing and he'd also be—regretfully—telling him about how worried he was.

Before Chanyeol even realized what he was doing, he was pulling up into his apartment's parking lot, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking over at Baekhyun.

He got out of the car and made his way to Baekhyun's side, opening the door and contemplating whether or not he should carry him.

At first, he tried to do it bridal style but failed miserably, nearly dropping Baekhyun onto the cold hard pavement beneath them. After that, he decided that a piggy-back was probably the safest bet for him at the moment.

Though, his scrawny arms were too weak to get Baekhyun onto his back.

He had to wake Baekhyun up, feeling a little guilty as Baekhyun just let out another one of his whines.

"Baekhyun, we need to get out of the car. Get on my back." Chanyeol turned around and went into position, expecting Baekhyun to listen to him.

Of course, that was only a wish that would be left unfulfilled because the next thing he knew, Baekhyun was holding onto him sideways like a koala, hanging off weakly with his arms and legs.

Chanyeol groaned but decided this was the best he was going to get, hoping that Baekhyun valued his life more than his stubbornness.

The rest of the way was torture once Chanyeol managed to close and lock his car, the entire trip taking around 15 minutes.

At times like these, Chanyeol hated choosing the room close to the sky.

He dropped Baekhyun onto the bed with a groan, his leg muscles aching and his back feeling like it was bent. Immediately, the other fell asleep like a log, forcing Chanyeol to take off his shoes for him, pulling the blanket exasperatedly and draping it on Baekhyun messily.

Chanyeol then fell onto his old couch, closing his eyes and trying to sleep soundly like Baekhyun.

Just as he was about to drift off, he reminded himself that he needed to talk to Baekhyun the next morning.

 

Baekhyun remembered waking up to the sound of birds squeaking, the morning light substituting as a burning agent for his eyes. He groaned, draping his arm over his eyes to block the sunlight as he tried to get the high-pitched screeching in his mind to calm down.

When he felt a little human, he sat up, his eyes squinted extremely as he looked around the room. He didn't recall ever keeping his curtains open.

That's when he realized that these weren't his sheets, his bed, nor his room.

And a second after, he spotted the other person in the room, his heart hiccuping at the sight of tousled brown hair and perfect skin.

He stood up cautiously, his feet padding against the wooden boards as he approached Chanyeol slowly.

He leaned down so that he was on his haunches, reaching out to grab the bridge of Chanyeol's glasses. The idiot slept with his glasses on.

Baekhyun shook his head, deposing the glasses on the table just beside the couch before standing up, wincing when his hangover throbbed painfully.

He decided that he should leave before Chanyeol woke up, searching for his shoes aimlessly and accidentally kicking a table. When he finally found his shoes and picked them up, the memories of what had happened that night came back like a storm.

He found himself wanting to take an immediate shower, forcing him to shove on his shoes as he prepared to leave.

Baekhyun stopped just as he was reaching for the room's doorknob, turning around as he remembered how Chanyeol had hugged him. He felt his heart tighten for a split second, and without knowing what he was doing, he was suddenly going back up to Chanyeol.

He didn't think rationally when he bent over to place a kiss on Chanyeol's exposed forehead, whispering a few words of thanks before officially leaving.

~

Ever since then, they hadn't talked at all.

Baekhyun tried to blissfully forget about Chanyeol, whereas the other tried to think up of ways to talk to the person he used to call boyfriend.

It was hard for Baekhyun to forget Chanyeol, even when it had been three weeks since he had seen Chanyeol. He kept suddenly remembering things that made him stop thinking clearly, and he'd have dreams where Chanyeol was still by his side.

He didn't know what kind of demon possessed him, but whenever he found himself with Chanyeol, he asked himself to wake up.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, didn't even know what Baekhyun was anymore.

The older never said that they had broken up, nor did he say anything about how they were still together. Chanyeol only wanted to talk to Baekhyun one last time to finally rest his mind—or, as the little ray of hope in his heart said; talk to Baekhyun to fix their relationship.

As time dragged on without any mention from either of them, Chanyeol found himself hoping more and more with every passing day, that maybe, by now, Baekhyun wouldn't be so mad anymore.

At least, that's what Chanyeol wished...

Until the news of Sehun and Baekhyun traveled to Chanyeol.

It was a normal day (as normal as it could be without Baekhyun) when Jongdae suddenly slipped into the spot opposite from Chanyeol, smirking at him and pointing at something behind him.

He turned around and he swore he could hear his heart shattering into pieces when he saw Baekhyun and Sehun walking side by side, their hands linked as Baekhyun laughed charmingly at what he had said.

Chanyeol hated himself, no, he cursed himself, because he found himself feeling a tinge of happiness because of Baekhyun's happiness.

When he finally had the courage to turn back to Jongdae, the other was already standing, mouthing the words "They're dating," before leaving Chanyeol to wallow in his misery alone.

That day, Chanyeol decided that he should finish whatever it was between him and Baekhyun.

~

It was on another normal day— it, Chanyeol thought, giving up on the thought that he could have any more regular days.

It was on a terrible, sunny day, that Chanyeol searched for Baekhyun after school was over.

He heard familiar voices around the corner, and for a second he thought it was the trio until he saw who it was.

"Baekhyun?" Sehun called the shorter, "Let's go."

Chanyeol stared as Baekhyun snapped out of the dazed look he had, beginning to walk again until Chanyeol made himself shown.

He found Sehun with Baekhyun, who froze like ice when he spotted Chanyeol. For a moment, Chanyeol saw fear cross Baekhyun's eyes, mixed with something that he had seen in his own reflection before.

When Chanyeol asked to speak to him privately, Sehun, being a nice gentleman, left the two to talk things out (but not before giving Baekhyun a reassuring pat on the head that made Chanyeol's heart ache).

Chanyeol then backed Baekhyun up into the classroom he had just left, watching as the teacher packed up and left without another word, the entire place being left in silence.

Everything was calm, as if the world was finally giving Chanyeol the chance to express all the pain and all the misery he had felt whenever he saw Baekhyun.

But when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

Even with the countless, sleepless nights that he spent, thinking about exactly what he would tell Baekhyun... he was left speechless.

Baekhyun's earlier reaction was completely overshadowed as he reminded Chanyeol of what he was like the first day they met, leaning against the desk as he stared at Chanyeol with nonchalant—nearly bored eyes. They were dark, lined with kohl, and staring straight at Chanyeol without a care in the world.

"So? Did you have something to say?" he asked when Chanyeol didn't say anything—and Jesus Christ why did Chanyeol's heart still beat whenever he heard Baekhyun's voice?

"Y–Yes," Chanyeol choked out, letting out a deep breath. "What happened to us, Baekhyun?" he finally managed to say.

From the opened window, he could hear people laughing and cheering, and Chanyeol was suddenly envious of their happiness when he was here, trying to solve—or finish, a relationship. The gust of wind from outside made the curtains flutter, distracting Chanyeol as it made a noise louder than the volume of Chanyeol's thoughts.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, bringing Chanyeol back to the situation at hand as he crossed his arms before he spoke again. "What do you mean?"

"I—Well... You're dating Sehun, right?" Chanyeol asked, and Baekhyun nodded as if it was no big deal. "But you never... broke up with me."

"Did I really have to vocalize it?" Baekhyun questioned, and for the second time that week, Chanyeol felt his heart being torn apart.

He couldn't believe that a part of him was still hoping that there was something left that he could salvage, that the fact that Baekhyun hadn't finalized their relationship was a reason that they could still be something.

"I thought I made it pretty obvious," Baekhyun said as he pulled out his phone, checking it as if he was checking the time. "Is that all you had to ask? Or do you need me to be a little more clear?"

"No, that's not all I had to ask," Chanyeol began as he gathered himself as much as he could, trying to block out any memories that would get in his way and break him down. "Why did you break up with me?"

Baekhyun shrugged. "I like Sehun more."

"Why do you keep avoiding me if it's not a big deal?"

"Why would I want to talk with my first ex?"

At the mention of firsts, Chanyeol felt the little barricade in his mind break as he was reminded of all the firsts that he had given Baekhyun and simultaneously taken from him, and he swallowed hard, recomposing himself.

"Why are you still friends with those people?"

That question caught Baekhyun off guard, and for a second, he lost his poise, his eyes widening as a sudden sadness filled his eyes. Chanyeol's mind only became more of a mess.

It took Baekhyun a minute to find the answer to that question, suddenly looking the opposite of how he was acting earlier. "Isn't it better to hang out with honest people rather than people who will only lie to me?" Baekhyun paused, finally taking his gaze away from him and staring out the window. "You hate me too. You're lying to me too."

"I never lied to you," Chanyeol confessed, and he recognized that Baekhyun's façade had been broken, which meant that he could now get real answers. "But why did you lie to me earlier? About all the answers to my questions?"

Baekhyun tried to mask his shock but it was obvious in the way his fists clenched and Chanyeol found himself nearly laughing, wondering why he knew all the little signs that Baekhyun had.

"I–I didn't lie to you."

Chanyeol recognized that he now had the upper hand, that Baekhyun had finally lost a little bit of that coldness he had before.

Again, without his permission, hope started to fill Chanyeol.

"Yes, yes you did," he said as he got closer to Baekhyun who, in turn, tried to back away. "Do you know what it felt like to have you walk away three times?"

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, unable to face Chanyeol.

Chanyeol could see the other slowly losing the composure he had gathered these past three weeks, breaking down Baekhyun's walls as he sought for true answers—which he selfishly wished were going to be all misunderstandings.

"Why do you have to hang around people like Jongdae, Junmyeon, and Minseok, when all they're doing is hurting you?" Chanyeol questioned as he took yet another step closer to Baekhyun, reducing the space in between them by many centimeters.

"Everyone gets hurt. It's not a big deal," Baekhyun argued, barely even making a point. His voice sounded weak, as if his resolve was breaking and he was letting Chanyeol's words effect him all over again.

Baekhyun didn't want that, but Chanyeol did.

"You don't have to be hurt, Baekhyun. No one said that you did."

It seemed as if those words struck a chord in him, because Baekhyun finally returned his gaze, glaring at Chanyeol. "No one cares about me, Chanyeol," he said, his voice a little stronger than earlier, "I'm not trying to make this a sob story but the reality is that no one gives a  about someone who isn't themselves."

"Well I do," Chanyeol began, nearly pleading for Baekhyun to believe him. "I care."

"Stop it," Baekhyun said as he finally straightened up, taking a few steps back and not bothering to move the desk away, pushing it with him and creating a mess in the rows.

"I care, Baekhyun. You're right, I might not care about anyone else but I care about you."

"Don't kid yourself," Baekhyun tried to say strongly, but Chanyeol could hear the waver in his voice. He knew that he just needed to push Baekhyun one more time.

"I'm not kidding, I care about you, hell I might even lo—"

The moment those words nearly came out of Chanyeol's mouth, Baekhyun's mind went into overdrive to protect himself, and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Well, you're not enough!" Baekhyun exclaimed, saving himself from hearing the words he knew would change his mind.

Baekhyun hadn't realized the damage he had done until he properly stared at Chanyeol, his heartbeat increasing in fear as he registered what he had just done.

He had managed to push Chanyeol away again.

But Baekhyun wasn't one to back away from something that he had already begun, so his mouth moved before he could control whatever he was about to say.

"You're just this—this person that happened to date me."

"It didn't just happen; I care about you, I like you—of course I would date you," Chanyeol replied, looking more and more heartbroken by the second.

He couldn't believe that Baekhyun would ever think that their relationship was nothing special.

"Well I just—I don't care about you, Chanyeol. You're this nobody that I dated for relationship experience. A–and now you're trying to act like this, and trying to—to make me seem like I care, when I don't!" Baekhyun yelled, struggling to find the right words. "I was inexperienced, and I needed a loser to use so that I could find someone better than... than you."

Baekhyun's last words were whispered, but they hurt nearly as much as every other word if not more.

Chanyeol felt himself breaking piece by piece, and he never could've expected it to end this way. If he had known that he was just going to get played, he would've never let Baekhyun into his heart—but of course, the sharpest knives always seemed the dullest.

"Baekhyun—"

"I don't know how you tricked yourself into thinking that but..." Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood, "I don't like you Chanyeol... I never have."

And then, the world was silent again.

Chanyeol couldn't believe that he let Baekhyun into his thoughts, his feelings, when all he'd do was poison him from the inside out.

It shocked him. The amount of times he had looked at Baekhyun and felt his heart quicken and the number of times he felt as if he'd never get bored of him—it shocked him that Baekhyun never felt the same.

This entire time, Baekhyun was just waiting behind his mask, smiling along, and thinking about how Chanyeol was nothing but a bad memory to forget. It hurt the most that Baekhyun seemed as if he reciprocated his feelings, holding his hand, smiling at his lame jokes, and looking at him with those eyes.

Baekhyun deserved an acting award.

And Chanyeol, he deserved everything but Baekhyun.

"I get it now," Chanyeol began, steadying his words.

He looked into Baekhyun's eyes, promising himself that it would be the last time he'd ever feel something for the other.

"You hang out with those horrible people because you're just like them."

Baekhyun was silent, not agreeing nor denying with Chanyeol's words.

He had nothing to say.

When Chanyeol realized that there was nothing left to discuss; no misunderstandings or corrections, he let his tears fall.

And for the first time, it was Chanyeol who walked out on Baekhyun.

Heyyy how did you like this chapter?? 

Was it angsty enough? hehe