PART TWO
"I W A N T Y O U"
II : IV

"Forget?" Baekhyun repeated quietly as he watched Chanyeol stand up from his spot, busying himself instead of explaining what he meant. Baekhyun stood up to follow him but found no reason to, standing stock-still in the middle of the kitchen.

Chanyeol seemed to be thinking of what to tell Baekhyun, setting their plates into the sink and slipping on some gloves to clean.

Baekhyun didn't understand. No, he didn't want to understand.

Was this entire meeting—the breakfast, catching up on each other's lives, the funny jokes... Was this all just to mess with him before Chanyeol cut him off from his life for good? Was Chanyeol trying to soften the blow? Fool Baekhyun into thinking that they could fix whatever they had, only to prove him wrong a second later?

"All of it?"

Baekhyun didn't mean to sound so choked, but he couldn't help himself, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth as he tried to stop it from wobbling.

"I don't need those kinds of burdens in my life," the giant finally said, not turning to look at Baekhyun whatsoever. Before, the view of Chanyeol's back had been comforting, but now it just seemed to be a sign that Chanyeol didn't even want to look at him.

Baekhyun didn't know where the hell his messed up life was leading him, shoving him onto a path that he didn't want and now, he was nearly crying in his ex's apartment? Was his ed up family not enough for the demons in his closet?

He was definitely over exaggerating. He had to be... but why did it hurt so much to hear Chanyeol say those words?

The shorter let out a shaky breath, his gaze dropping to the ground as his fists clenched loosely, too exhausted to do anything else.

Perhaps, he deserved this.

For all the things that he had said and done; this was probably only a small part of his punishment.

"Okay," Baekhyun answered.

He hoped that Chanyeol would slip up at his easy agreement, change his mind before Baekhyun changed his—but it never happened.

Instead, Chanyeol hummed, seeming content with the way his previous statement affected things.

Baekhyun turned away, wiping his wet eyes with the sleeve of his sweater as he made his way over to the door, slipping on his shoes.

"Thanks for breakfast," he said quietly, not even knowing if the giant heard and not turning around to check.

He left.

~

There was a reason why Jongdae was unforgettable.

A reason why he kept reappearing in Baekhyun's thoughts, reminding him of all the things he did wrong and the things that he swore he buried away.

That reason was Jongin and Chanyeol.

Baekhyun could handle the stinging words that his group of friends shot at him every time they thought he wasn't listening, he could handle the rumours that they had sent his way, the nasty glares and the stupid pranks, but he couldn't handle it when they messed with people he never meant to hurt.

Those people, Jongin and Chanyeol, had done nothing wrong.

But Jongdae just had to ruin that for him too.

"Baekhyun, listen," Jongdae said two months before their graduation, putting a hand onto Baekhyun's shoulder.

They were in the hallway after school, Jongdae asking to talk to him during class an hour before. All the students were still grabbing their stuff, their conversation drowned out in between the chatter of other people their age, and Baekhyun now realized how strange it was that Jongdae wanted to talk with him alone, without Minseok and Junmyeon.

"About Sehun and you..." he trailed off, looking around, his eyes filled with worry.

Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, not expecting Sehun to be the subject of their private conversation.

Sehun and he had been dating for around two months now and Baekhyun felt content with the pace and the result of this relationship, feeling over the clouds whenever Sehun took him out for a date. Of course, there was always that stinging feeling that he received whenever they went somewhere relating to the dates he had with Chanyeol, but he tried his hardest to put it in the background, focusing on building his relationship with Sehun.

Baekhyun was honestly quite happy with his life at the moment, since his parents were actually showing emotion and Baekbeom tried to spend more time with him.

He shouldn't have been fooled by that strange streak of happiness.

"I think you and Sehun should break up," Jongdae finally said after a couple of moments, Baekhyun's eyebrows raising to the sky.

"What—"

Before Baekhyun even knew what happened, a fist collided with his cheek and his body slammed into the lockers on his side, his bag slipping off of his shoulders and onto the ground.

The hallway became quiet save for the occasional gasp when people saw Baekhyun leaning against the locker, his lip split and his hand on his cheek.

He straightened himself when he could, resting his back on the lockers when his vision spun. "'The hell was that for—" Baekhyun couldn't even get a sentence in, and it was only when he was punched in the gut did he realize that it wasn't Jongdae punching him, rather, it was Kim Jongin.

Baekhyun felt like passing out, clutching his stomach as he struggled to breathe after Jongin gave him another firm punch. he had no idea what the dog-like man was doing but he was certainly good at it. He stared at Jongin's appearance when he could, recognizing that he looked a little frantic and angry. Really, really angry.

"I ing saw you guys," Jongin hissed once Baekhyun cleaned the blood from the corner of his lips, swiping his thumb across and wiping it on his pants as he glared at Jongin. "You and Sehun, kissing in that stupid park."

"So what?" Baekhyun asked, stubborn even if everyone had witnessed him getting punched. "You're not his boyfriend."

"Except I am!" Jongin exclaimed, his fist raising to hit Baekhyun again.

The shorter winced and turned his head to the side, peeking his eyes open when nothing came. Instead, Jongin retracted his arm and let out a breath.

"I knew you were an , Byun, but I didn't expect you to make Sehun cheat on me."

"I don't—I don't understand," Baekhyun said as he looked around, searching for Sehun in case he was there. Sehun could explain the situation, tell everyone what was going on... but he was nowhere in sight. While he was searching for Sehun, his eyes settled on Jongdae again and he saw him laughing, snickering into his palm at the sight.

Jongdae had been the one to tell him that Jongin and Sehun had broken up.

Jongdae had been the one to give him his phone number.

"Of course you wouldn't understand," Jongin spat.

That was also when Baekhyun realized that Sehun and he never did anything extremely public, staying inside and trying to keep the PDA to a minimum. Most people only thought they were friends.

He now understood why.

"You've probably never felt hurt, let alone heartbreak. And don't lie and say that this wasn't your fault. This is as much of your fault as it was for Chanyeol's depression."

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun whispered, that single name creating more hurt than both of Jongin's punches.

"He left our school a month ago. They let him go out early; said he could graduate fine with his top-notch grades," Jongin explained, his eyes narrowing at Baekhyun when the shorter looked down at the ground. "We all know he didn't just leave to finish school."

He was right. Chanyeol loved school, even if that was crazy.

Baekhyun hadn't even realized the absence of Chanyeol, his thoughts up in the clouds where Sehun was too.

"I never meant for this to happen," Baekhyun said, trying his hardest to keep his tears in check. "I didn't know you were still dating Sehun."

Jongin shook his head, turning and walking away from Baekhyun.

"That's what they all say."

The entire thing had been a prank.

Jongdae's idea, but his accomplices were both at blame too.

Baekhyun couldn't believe how stupid he had been, believing anything that came out of Sehun and his 'friends' mouths.

But even if they had influenced him; made him think different things, in the ending it was still entirely his fault. He made both Jongin and Chanyeol feel that heartbreak because of how blind he had been.

He spent the rest of that year alone, finally—finally pushing those three away from him. When he remembered Chanyeol's warnings, he had wondered why he didn't listen to them earlier.

And the words that Chanyeol had told him: "You're just like them."

Baekhyun realized then that Chanyeol was right.

~

The pastel-haired man woke with a start, blinking his eyes a couple of times as his mind adjusted to the sudden change from his dream world to real life.

He groaned as he recalled the nightmare he just had, gripping his blankets tighter as he brought the fabric over his head. He closed his eyes again to try and sleep but he couldn't, peeking at his clock and sighing when he realized that it was 3 AM.

It was weird, but when Baekhyun thought that he was getting rid of all of his irrational fears of ghosts and monsters, another fear replaced it all—a fear of darkness.

He had no idea where it came from, but it started some time after high school, and he first experienced it when he was walking home from the convenience store nearby, suddenly feeling nervous and anxious about being on the dark streets. From then, it became more prominent and he was even afraid of walking around in his own house without lights.

He figured that it was something he'd grow out of, but multiple years after, it hadn't disappeared.

Baekhyun laid in his bed for the next who knows how long, his thoughts eventually drifting to places he didn't want them to, mainly Chanyeol.

He recalled the entirety of the time he spent with Chanyeol, wincing when he felt that tight pain in his chest again. He honestly never expected it because even if it was selfish to say it, Chanyeol was way too nice to do anything like that—which was one of the reasons why he had enough guts to talk to Chanyeol even after he did those mean things to him. He didn't expect Chanyeol to want to forget all about it; erase the entirety of that year from his life. It stung, but Baekhyun knew he deserved it. He always had. And plus, what sane person willingly let their ex's into their life again?

(Well, Baekhyun, but that didn't count here.)

Dammit, why did Luhan ever bring him to Viva Polo? If he never went there he would've never seen Chanyeol again and he wouldn't be feeling these—these things, whatever they were. 

He decided that, to fully forget about the past, he had to stop seeing Chanyeol, period. Baekhyun sighed and flipped onto his stomach, knowing that he'd have to change his jogging schedule if he wanted to avoid Chanyeol, even if his schedule was usually the best for him. Whatever. Night jogs were possible too.

Baekhyun spent the rest of the night in a state between asleep and awake, his eyes opening whenever he was met with the familiar scene of Chanyeol and him on one of their old dates and really, why did his brain decide that it would remember everything from that year?

Out of all the stupid things that Baekhyun crammed into his brain, all the formulas and all the worthless drama he dug up—out of all things, why did it have to be Chanyeol?

Why was it always Chanyeol?

~

Baekhyun checked his appearance in the rearview mirror one more time, fixing a piece of his hair and checking if his lip balm looked way too obvious. After wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he opened the car's door and stepped out, entering the restaurant that he didn't expect he'd be returning to anytime soon.

After a night of drinking with Luhan and voicing all of his concerns and sorrows, Luhan simply told him to move on to someone else, date someone who could take his mind off of Chanyeol—and even if Baekhyun specifically said that he tried that before, Luhan scheduled him a date with Kris.

Kris gave him a weird vibe, yes, but that was okay. Maybe he was a better person when you got to know him. Baekhyun patted himself on the back for being so positive.

He pushed open Viva Polo's door and before anything else, glanced toward the bar area of the restaurant. He didn't spot the tall figure manning the place, quickly turning to talk to Xiumin (and maybe get some input on his opinion about Luhan).

"Hey, I have a reservation with Kris?" Baekhyun began, watching as Xiumin looked down at his list.

"Right this way." He led Baekhyun over to one of the tables in the far corner, where things were a little more secluded but where everything could still be completely seen.

Baekhyun thanked the waiter and sat down, tapping his finger on the table as he waited for his date.

In the meantime, he looked at the restaurant in its entirety, focusing on the small details and praising Chanyeol—since he said that he designed it himself. Baekhyun played with the napkin, making sure not to break it out of its boat-like figure as he continued waiting, remembering that he had been at least 20 minutes early.

His gaze swept by the bar again and he saw someone else sitting there. A girl—the girl, the one that was with Chanyeol a few days ago.

This time, her hair was freed of its ponytail, cascading down her back in gentle, golden waves, and Baekhyun wished that she turned around so that he could finally see who she was. He knew that it wasn't his business to pry, but he couldn't help but feel that maybe Chanyeol and her were a little closer than just friends.

The thought of them being more than best friends made Baekhyun's stomach churn.

"Baekhyun?"

The said male looked up and locked eyes with Kris, giving him a polite smile as he greeted him.

"Have you been waiting for long?" the taller questioned as he sat down, immediately placing his napkin onto his lap.

Xiumin came with a pitcher of water, pouring it in the glasses and asking if any of them wanted some wine to go with their dinner. Baekhyun denied but Kris accepted, getting a Calliga Merlot and asking once more if Baekhyun wanted a drink.

Once Xiumin went to fetch their drinks, they started talking casually about their careers and about how their lives have been. Baekhyun lied like he usually did, telling Kris that he was fine and that everything was going amazingly.

When Baekhyun mentioned that he worked at his parent's company and was going to take it over in a year or two, Kris' eyes widened and he looked amazed, congratulating Baekhyun.

They joked and laughed politely all throughout dinner, Baekhyun filling in the space when things got a little awkward and silent. When they were nearly done, he concluded that Kris wasn't that bad of a guy, just a little sappy and not the funniest guy out there, even if he claimed himself to be.

Kris mentioned that he wanted more wine so Baekhyun followed him over to the bar, sitting down as he listened to the gentle music in the background, with a slow beat and some nice vocals to top it off. He knew that he'd have to face Chanyeol since on calm days, Chanyeol was the only one working at the bar.

Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol joked with the girl on the opposite side of where Kris and he were sitting, quickly glancing away when she made and joke and Chanyeol laughed and did that thing where he slapped people in happiness—but the thing was, he didn't slap her, he simply brushed his hand on hers and that was enough for Baekhyun to know that even if they weren't in a relationship, Chanyeol thought of her as someone important.

He knew because Chanyeol used to do that to him too.

Kris grew a little impatient and called Chanyeol over, still keeping his polite tone because Chanyeol was his boss after all.

Chanyeol quickly stepped over, only needing a step and half to get onto their side as he grabbed some glasses from behind the counter and set them in front of the new couple, smiling at them with a professional smile that Baekhyun wished he didn't recognize.

"What can I get for you today?" Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun glanced at the menu that he had failed to notice last time, reading off his order without any other conversation and waiting for Kris to order too.

Chanyeol made their drinks while Kris talked to Baekhyun about the type of drinks that he liked and Baekhyun nodded with a smile on his face, not entirely listening.

Chanyeol kept fixing things that he saw on the counter or in the drink itself, and he seemed to be a little bit of a perfectionist. At least, in this restaurant. Baekhyun knew how messy Chanyeol's room back at his home was, because the only time he went there, Chanyeol's clothes were littered on the ground and his music was everywhere and Baekhyun remembered when Chanyeol had pulled out his guitar, playing a few strings—the midget caught himself in the act, scolding himself as he realized that he was thinking of Chanyeol again.

He had to remind himself that Chanyeol had changed, even if he himself hadn't.

The girl sitting a few seats over probably knew him more than Baekhyun did now.

Chanyeol probably wasn't the same clumsy but talented kid, and he now seemed as if he had his entire life put together piece by piece, whereas Baekhyun just shoved his puzzle pieces together to fit.

Chanyeol set their drinks down in front of them, giving Baekhyun a smile that the shorter didn't respond to. "I see you have someone with you. Not drinking alone?" Chanyeol joked with Kris and the blond laughed, a little too stoic for it to be actual laughter.

"Luckily I've got this beautiful person with me today," Kris said as he settled his hand onto Baekhyun's arm, not noticing the way that he avoided Chanyeol's gaze. "This is Baekhyun, by the way."

Baekhyun missed the way that Chanyeol's eyes narrowed at the hand on the smaller's arm, his grip on the washcloth becoming a tad bit tighter at the way Kris was looking at Baekhyun.

Chanyeol only nodded at Kris' earlier 'introduction', leaving out the part where Chanyeol and Baekhyun knew each other a little too well.

Kris started talking to Baekhyun again and Chanyeol let them, doing nothing but wiping the counters down.

When they began tuning Chanyeol out of the conversation (but never completely, because Baekhyun's mind was focused on Chanyeol's every move,) Chanyeol went back over to where the girl was sitting.

Baekhyun was barely listening to Kris and he swore that he'd make it up to the guy sometime, but right now he was hanging onto every word that Chanyeol and the girl said, hearing a few unfamiliar names and trying to make out if any of them was her name. She laughed at something then, completely charming every being around her and clearly Chanyeol too, because the giant just stopped and stared at her with this smile on his face and—and , why was Baekhyun suddenly feeling so, so suffocated?

As she turned to glance around the restaurant, Baekhyun got a glimpse of her face and he regretted instantly it, because she was gorgeous and he knew that she was fit and she was also rich and funny and , were these insecurities filling Baekhyun's mind?

He never felt insecure.

But the way that he talked to her like that—the way that Chanyeol laughed with her and the way that he subtly touched her and the way that he looked at her...

Baekhyun was so jealous.

And it, because this wasn't part of the plan.