Jennie

“Hey Jennie,” Namjoon quickly says his greeting once the door between us opens. He falters then when he does actually sees me, gasps, his eyes repeatedly wander to the top of my hair down to my high heels. He stutters, “wow, you—Jennie—you, uhm, you’re…”

His voice fades to nowhere as his eyes keep on blinking, his jaw slacking. When he is finally able to recollect himself and find his voice, he takes me by surprise when he stares right into my eyes and says, “You are so beautiful Jennie Kim.”

Dugeun.

I don’t know this guy. I don’t feel any immediate attraction towards him; I don’t have a crush on him, yet. I don’t have the butterflies or the bells ringing over my head, but damn if my heart isn’t beating crazy right now as it’s the first time in a very, very long time that I heard someone call me that: beautiful.

I mean, I know I am. Yes, confidence is beautiful. But it’s always heart-stopping to hear someone actually say it to you, to make you realize that the world does actually think you’re beautiful that you’re worth a proper date, some manners, whatever.

The previous person who did say that to me was Yoongi. But that was years ago when he was deeply intoxicated with alcohol. Yes, I know, one of the rare times when I was the one sober and he was the complete drunk . But yeah, point is, my heart can’t still forget that day when he muttered in his sleep, “Jennie…beautiful…you are…”

“You ready?” Namjoon thankfully disrupts my thoughts on that snail.

“Yep!” I beam, actually getting excited to go on a date.

“Let’s go then,” Namjoon winks at me as he gestures the way to his car in a very gentleman manner.

I walk towards the passenger seat and was about to reach the car door when Namjoon suddenly strides before me and opens it for me. Wow. I’m impressed.

He then waits for me to fully enter the car. Then just when I thought he was going to close it already, Namjoon leans over me, his face so close to mine as he smiles, showing off his cute dimples. His left arm reaches for something above my head then. “Just making sure you’ll be in one piece when we reach there,” he says as he secures my seatbelt.

Neither before my mind could even think nor could my heart take a rest from its leaping, Namjoon leans away and closes the door. A few seconds later, he enters the car and sets himself in the driver’s seat.

Trying to break the awkward tension from the seatbelt scene, I ask, “Where is there?”

He continues to smile, seemingly unaffected by our little moment a while ago, “It’s a secret Jennie.”

“Oh come on!” I talk using my cutesy baby voice then, “Even just a tiny bit of clue, juseyo~”

Opposite to my expectation, Namjoon just bursts into laughter as he takes several glances at me while driving, “Even with your fatal aegyo, I’m still not going to tell you. I didn’t plan this out nonstop for days and thoroughly for you just to disclose it an hour and a few minutes before we actually get there.”

The car then halts as the stoplight turns red just like my cheeks.

He…he actually thought hard about this? He actually had plans, wanted to surprise me, and all of those, for me? For me?

Namjoon probably notices the confused emotions surging on my face as he tries to make excuses with his rambles, “I mean, I didn’t—I wasn’t that eager for this date that I actually researched or anything like that because believe me, I didn’t. I just—I, uh, I like planning beforehand. And a few surprises are fun, I thought. That’s all. I didn’t really mean to burden you or what—”

“Namjoon,” I calm him with a touch on his shoulder as I giggle, “thank you for being so thoughtful.”

He briefly looks at my hand before he looks into my eyes. His big genuine smiles takes it place back on his face again as he laughs too just before he drives away when the light turns green again.

Just like the perfect gentleman he was a while ago, Namjoon opens the door for me once we reach our destination for the night. He helps me get out of the car with a hand, closing the door after both of my feet has settled to the floor. He then places his hand on the center of my back, guiding me towards the entrance of the place.

“Wow,” is all that I could say as soon as the door was opened, the inside leaving me speechless and breathless with its unworldly beauty.

A mixture of fragrant flowers paves the road before us that splits into five different paths while the millions of stars and the moon greets us above. On each end of the flowery paths, a table for two in a garden is set up beautifully as if it was made for a romantic movie. To make it even better, the restaurant is located near the beach where you can hear the waves crashing to the shore.

“Oh my God,” I yelp as soon as we reach our own table, “this is perfect!”

Namjoon just chuckles, surprisingly moving right behind me. “Well it has to be. I’m telling you, I had a hard time looking for a place that would suit you.” He then speaks with his lips nearly brushing my ear as he pulls out the chair for me, “I didn’t want any place that’s less than what you deserve.”

Dugeun.

My knees go weak. It’s a good thing Namjoon is making sure that I take my seat before he goes to his or I swear my would have been stuck to the slightly muddy ground. How does he do that? How does he know the perfect actions, the perfect words? How is he so perfect? How is he so perfect yet I can’t stop—

“Jennie.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“What are you thinking about?”

Him. “I—uh—I’m just wondering.”

“About?”

“Why did you ask me out?”

Namjoon goes silent; his hand rises to cup his chin as he ponders. After a few brutal seconds, he takes his hand off his face, sighs, and finally speaks as if he was recalling the best dream he’s had. “I don’t know, to be honest.”

Okay, well, I stand corrected when I said he was perfect as this is got to be the most disappointing moment with him right now.

“It’s just that, the moment I saw you on your somewhat purple ruffled dress that screamed Victorian era, you hair tied in a simple low ponytail, your ears dangled with earrings that didn’t outshine your natural beauty even with your scowling and deep sighs towards Yoongi, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t at least ask you out for a dinner.”

Silence.

.

He remembered. He noticed. He noticed every single detail about that night. He noticed all the things I wore for Yoongi, as well all the disappointment I felt for Yoongi. He did something that Yoongi failed to do all these years. He noticed me.

Yoongi

It’s been three weeks since the night Namjoon asked Jennie out. It’s been three weeks too since Jennie and I last met. She’s been dodging me ever since the two of them went to that dinner. Or to be exact, she hasn’t called, hasn’t sought me out ever since.

You’re probably thinking why am I not trying to get in contact with her then? Well, I’ve been trying actually. At least in my mind, I did. I’ve been debating whether I should text her or call her. What do I tell her? What do I even actually say? 

Obviously, I’m not good at this; I’m not used to this. I’m used to her annoying messages in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening. I’m used to her being the first one to reach out to me and never the other way around. So you see, it’s not that I have such a big pride (though I do) that I can’t call her, but it’s just that I don’t know how.

So, instead of leaving her a message that will only build up my anxiety if she doesn’t responds, I wait outside her home under the dark starless cold night instead. Well, I’d go straight to her apartment but once I entered the passcode, I realized it was empty and well yeah, I just found it awkward without her.

I wait, and wait, and wait, until I could no longer take it. Why is she not home? Where is she? Where could she be in this late hour? Is she with someone? Is she alone? Is she safe?

Just when I thought my mind will blow up in pieces thinking about her, a familiar sleek black Sedan parks right in front the complex. I hide behind one of the columns, peeking on who the newcomers are.

The one in the driver’s seat comes out first. I squint my eyes, blinking continuously and shaking my head as if that would change what I’m seeing right now. But it didn’t.

Namjoon walks briskly to the other side, opens the car door and gentlemanly guides her out, holding her soft and smooth hands. 

I grit my teeth at their hands that are still in each other’s grasp even both of them are stable on the ground already. The both of them walk towards the entrance then and stop just a meter away from the entrance, a meter away from me.

They face and stare at each other then, smiling gleefully that I could actually feel the happiness exuding from both of their bodies. Jennie is even showing her gums to him, something she only ever does when she’s with me. Seeing her now like this with another guy, it just…it just hurts.

What if…

What if she’s actually falling for him? What if she actually forgets me and moves on? Can I deal with that? Will I really be okay without Jennie by my side? Can I live the rest of my life without her?

Of course I can. I’m Min Yoongi—

Bull.

I can’t.

Just these three weeks have wrecked me already. Every morning that I wake up without her good morning text, every night that I sleep without her melodic voice lulling me destroys me. I’ve missed a lot of meals because of the dull taste without her company. Even my work is a mess without her inspiring me. Because as ty and corny this sound, Jennie is my life. To live in this world without her is meaningless.

“Goodnight Jennie,” Namjoon bids her goodbye with his sweet low voice.

Jennie gets her game on and cutely asks, “You sure you don’t want to come up?” What? Did she just ask him to go up to her apartment with just the two of them this later? Is she ing crazy?

Namjoon sighs, “I’d really love to, but I just have this really important meeting early morning tomorrow. I’m scared I’ll forget the time because that always happens when I’m with you, then I’ll sleep late, then I’ll be late to work.”

Jennie pouts and clicks her tongue, “Fine.”

Namjoon cups her face in one hand and caresses her chubby cheek that has turned red, “Maybe next time.”

“Next time it is,” she flashes again her gummy smile.

And just when I thought I could finally take a sigh of relief that they’ll finally be parting ways, Namjoon surprises both Jennie and I when he suddenly kisses her on the cheek. “I’ll call you.”

When she recovers after a few seconds, blinking her gaping eyes, she squeaks, “Okay!”

Namjoon chuckles at her reaction and pats the top of her head, “Okay I’ll go now.” He then walks back to his car, glances again to Jennie before finally entering his car and drives away.

With the sound of the blaring engine of the car, Jennie finally realizes that she’s all alone now. She pats both of her blushing cheeks, calming them with her hands. Her stunned expression turns into fits of giggles then as she probably recounts what Namjoon just did. And damn if it doesn’t annoy the hell out of me.

Enraged, I grab her by the wrist as soon as she walks past the column I hid behind. “Jennie.”

“Oh my God! What is wrong with you?!” She screams, startled by my appearance.

I ignore her and drag her towards the nearest park.

Unsatisfied with my silence, Jennie continues to bombard me with questions. "What are you doing? Why are you even here? How long have you been here? Have you been hiding or stalking me all this time? Why are you not answering? Why are you confusing me—”

"I should be the one asking that! Why are you confusing me by holding his hand, smiling at him, and letting him kiss you?!" I stop and turn to her, mad at her actions.

"I’m not confusing you. I was never, even until now, vague about us,” she mutters, her head down, eyes avoiding me very well.

“Then what was that about?! Why are you acting so into him, flirting with him like there’s no tomorrow, huh?!” I shout in frustration.
She retorts, “Because I want to!”

"Because you want to? You just want to?" I scoff, exasperated with her shallow reason.

But it wasn’t apparently as she continues, "Yes Yoongi! I want to! Because I want to feel loved Yoongi, and with him, I do feel loved!"

Crack.

"T-Then,” I take a deep gulp as I force myself to say the next words, “do you love him?"

Jennie

“Do you love him?”

I stare at Yoongi as he says those words. 

And my heart hurts. It’s the first time seeing such anguish in his face. His voice cracked a little, his eyes moist. His fists are closed and shaking with the rest of his body.

What’s this? Is he actually jealous? Is he aching for me? Does he…does he love me?

Don’t be stupid Jennie. You’re stronger than this. If he really loves you, he’ll hold on to you and get you back. Right now, you deserve someone who is sure of his feelings for you and actually makes you feel that he truly does. Right now, you don’t deserve a Yoongi; you deserve a Namjoon.

Right. That’s right.

"I can learn to."

"But how about us?" Yoongi firmly grasps me on the shoulders, forcing me to look up to him.

"Us?” Did he really think there was an “us” just like I did before?

“Yes, us,” he points at himself and me. “You’re so busy with him you’ve forgotten about the guy who’s been with you for half a decade now.” He scoffs and speaks in a venomous tone, “You’re slowly but surely burying us for him now, huh.”

Furious with his unreasonable insults, I yell at him, “Exactly, Yoongi! Wasn't five years enough? Five years that we've been together but you’ve never admitted your feelings to me even once. I don't even know if you really like me or you're just used to us being together!"

"Did I really have to say that?” He unbelievable says, “We’ve even kissed already—“

"But that was when we were drunk! We don't even talk about it when we're sober no matter how much I try because you always avoid it, because you think it's too cheesy, blah, blah, blah!" I explode in frustration. “You’ve never even tried!”

"Then what do you want me to do?!" He shouts back, though a huge amount of desperation and pleading could be heard behind it as if he was willing to do anything to get me back.

With a deep sigh, getting so sick and tired already of our situation, I tell him in all honesty, "I don't know. Figure it out yourself."

Yoongi

Tonight is one of those game nights that Rosé and Jungkook hosts. It’s usually fun, only tonight I’m not looking forward to it. I’m not ready to see Jennie yet. I don’t have an idea yet on how I can prove to her that I do have feelings for her. I don’t want to be rash and irrational, but if she sees me doing nothing instead, she’ll think that I’m not putting effort at all and then she’ll actually give up on me and go to Namjoon.

I can’t have that, but at the same time, what the do I do?

I knock at the couple’s apartment door as soon as I reach their place, a lot earlier than the time stated in the invitation.

Jungkook opens the door and warmly welcomes me with a hug, “Hey Hyung! You’re a whole lot early today. You’re the first guest!” He then disappears inside, probably to the kitchen, “Rosé! Yoongi-hyung is here!”

“Already?! But the turkey isn’t done yet! The carbonara sauce is still in the final touches, and the fries—“

“Have just gone under the deep fryer,” Jungkook calms her. “Don’t worry love, we got this.”

Rosé then hugs him tightly with the different cooking utensils in her hands. Jungkook in return slides his hand up and down on her back to soothe her.

Rosé then buries her head further, making her voice almost inaudible when she speaks, “I love you. I really love you.”

“And I love you too. I really love you too,” he brushes his lips on her forehead, the action bringing a smile to both of their faces.

Great.

Just great. What a great reminder that pouring your feelings out is just that easy if you don’t have a personality of an introverted trash like me.

“And I would really love it if you two can separate now and pretend that we’re all just three friends with platonic feelings for each other.”

“Aw, someone’s grumpy,” Jungkook smiles insinuatingly.

“What are you saying, I’m always grumpy.”

Rosé adds to the fire, “Oh Yoongi, if I didn’t know that, I, for sure, would have thought that you were envious of us.”

“Never,” because they’re totally disgusting and cringey and cheesy and—, they’re everything Jennie wants. “Okay maybe,” I mutter.

“Sorry, what was that?” Rosé asks with a sly smile, she obviously heard it but just wanted to repeat it.

“Nothing.”

“What?” Jungkook knit his brows together, “Did hyung say something?”

“He—”

Ding dong.

Literally saved by the bell, I excuse myself and volunteer to welcome the next guest. In a haste, I open the door without bothering to look at the LCD monitor of the door security system. With the fakest and most sarcastic enthusiasm, I shout happily, “Welcome to Jeon and Park’s—Jennie. Oh, uh—hey.”

“Hey,” she says as she slowly averts my gaze, gulping as she tucks the loose strand of silky dark brown hair behind her ear, making my fingers itch with want with the action.

“So, uh, you’re early.” Wow. Smooth. What a great conversation starter Yoongi, you dumb head.

“Yeah,” she resp