Rosé

Jungkook didn’t have a choice.

Jungkook will have nothing to do with me anymore…I’m leaving Korea for good.

I don’t get it.

Why?

Why is she saying this? Why is she suddenly barging in my life again telling all these useless things now? Why? Why does she have to waste my time on things I no longer want to think about?

I’m not going to be a hindrance anymore between two people who are clearly made for each other.

What?

What does that even mean?

I mean, if the two of us were made for each other, then he wouldn’t have left me. And if we are perfect together, so what? He still chose to be imperfect to be with her anyway. In the end, he still chose her. I’m done being his rebound.

If so, then why?

Why am I getting confused about this all over again? Why, Rosé, are you caring so much when you’ve moved on? You are a free woman, remember? You are content. You are totally fine. You are totally doing well. Totally. (You are 100% happy now Rosé. Repeat 88162016122013 times!)

Sigh.

I hate her.  I really, really, really hate her for muddling my thoughts, for all this mixed-up feelings I shouldn’t be experiencing right now.

Sigh.

I just…I just need to write.

Jungkook

This has to be the place. I mean, this is the only place left.

I’ve gone to all of her spots. Her favorite restaurant, her favorite park, her favorite coffee shop, yet I couldn’t find her still. I tried asking Jennie and SinB, even the ahjumma who lives at the unit next to her, but they too have no idea where she is.

So she has to be here, her safe haven, the place where she escapes from reality to write magic.

As if to confirm my theory, I see a familiar slender figure sitting at the front row. As I slowly descend the stairs, I can’t help but admire her beauty even from the back. The aura of an angel she radiates, the wavy dark chocolate locks that emphasizes her pale complexion, and just the very essence of her consume me in an unthinkable manner.

She doesn’t move from her seat nor does her body stiffen even after I take a seat behind her. And that’s when I notice the faint familiar English pop music she’s probably listening to through her earphones.

After a few minutes of silence and just doing nothing, her laptop dies. She suddenly groans out of frustration and buries her head in her palms. I take that as a chance to sit beside her unnoticed before gently removing one earphone and asking her the first—and the stupidest on earth—question I could think of, “Are you alright?”

“Obviously not,” she grits her teeth in annoyance. See, told you it was stupid.

It takes a few more seconds before her grimace turns into shock when she realizes that someone just talked to her whom she responded back. She turns her head swiftly to the direction of the voice, and her whole face gapes in a huge amount of surprise when she sees the owner of it.

“J-Ju-Jungkook?” I smile awkwardly as I scratch the back of my neck, not entirely sure what to say right now despite practicing this scene for three years.

Before I could even muster enough courage and begin my agenda, Rosé quickly recovers from my sudden appearance. The brows on her face forms into a thin line while her nose keeps on wrinkling in fury as she spats, “Why are you here?”

“Uhm, I-uh-a-I, uh,” God damn it Jungkook, stop blabbering like a kid! Just say it! “I need to talk to you.”

ing Jungkook. Way to go! Every time you you get the chance to talk to her, that’s the conversation starter that comes first to your mind? ing “I need to talk to you”? Why don’t I just die? Really?

Rosé snickers as she looks away, “Didn’t I give you enough chance? And did I not tell you that there’s nothing left for us to talk about?”

“Maybe you don’t, but I do. I have a lot of things to discuss with you.” I kneel down in front of her to force her to look at me and hold her hands in mine, and when she does, I continue to tell her all I want to tell her. “I have three years worth of apologies I need to tell you. Three years worth of explanations I need you to know to understand everything. Three years worth of affection that I need you to experience with me.”

“And you only have three minutes to tell me everything.”

“What?” I choke in surprise.

“You heard me,” she icily says as she removes her hands from mine. “Just because you have this need to let me know doesn’t mean I need to listen. So be grateful I’m wasting three precious minutes of my life to you.”

Rosé

Three years worth of apologies?

Three years worth of explanations?

Three years worth of affection?

Hah!

What a joke!

You mean, three years of excuses! Excuses that I don’t want to hear, I no longer want to hear.

“20 seconds have passed, are you really not going to spend it wisely?” I impatiently say as I tap my watch in front of him.

“B-but, 3 minutes,” wan and confusion etches on Jungkook’s face, “How do I even tell half of it in just three minutes?”

“Well, that’s not really my problem anymore, is it? Oh, look. 2 minutes and 30 seconds left,” I continue to stare nowhere else but on my watch.

He heavily sighs and shakes his head, his eyes downcast, probably because of the impossible behavior I’m giving him. “Fine. I’ll just--.” He then stares into my eyes and says, “I’m really sorry for not telling you why I had to leave that day, and the other days before that. You see, what happened was Lisa, she, uh, Lisa—”

“I know about Lisa.”

“Huh?”

“I know about her…attempts.”

Jungkook’s brows continue to knit together in complete puzzlement. “Y-you know?”

“She, uh, she told me herself this morning.” I tell him then that Lisa visited me this early morning and everything she told me about her accidents then.

“So you know already, uhm,” with hopeful eyes, Jungkook tries to reach o