Rosé

“Ju-Jungkook,” I stammer as I feel embarrassed by the next words that will come out from my mouth. “I-is it okay if I, uh, uhm, is it alright if I hold your hand?”

I know how crazy this must sound. I just turned him down a few minutes ago yet here I am with another confusing action.

But what can I do?

I’m just really scared right now. The fact that I can totally see nothing bothers me. And more than that, I hate how I feel so alone right now even though I know he’s literally just beside me.

As if I did not just crush his heart, Jungkook has no hesitation at all to take my hand in his firm grasp.

He raises our clasped hands. I realize then based on the angle that he has placed it right in front of his eyes, probably tattooing in his mind the image of our hands together.

He then disentangles his hand from mine, takes the other as well and cups his face with my palms instead. For a brief second, my thumb brushes with his soft plump lips and it gives me a shiver.

When he notices it, Jungkook alternates between peppering my hands with delicate kisses and just feeling the warmth of my touch on his cheeks. My fingers start to act on its own then, tracing every feature of him that I could.

Ah…

It’s been a while since I have felt how extensive his eyelashes are. His nose still makes me want to pinch it all the time. His jaw, I want to have it under my touch all the time. His lips…I’ll never get tired of how it feels and how it makes me feel.

Ah…

 “It’s alright,” he says, interrupting my wandering thoughts. “I’ll just treat this as if it’s our—ah,” he chuckles in a melancholic manner as he grips my hands tighter. “It is our last.”

I didn’t know it was possible, but my heart breaks even further into microdots with his reminder.

I mean, I know that breaking up for good is the best thing for us, but somehow it doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m doing the biggest mistake of my life. I feel like this is about to become the biggest regret of my life. And that I’m going to dig up my own grave if I let everything between us die just like this.

“Jungkook, I, uh, I—“

Jungkook hushes me, “I really understand all of it now Rosé. And I’m…I’m going to accept it now. So please,” he sighs as he continues to adore my hands, “please just let me have this a little longer.”

“No Jungkook, you don’t understand.”

I try to recover my hands from him but his grasp only becomes firmer. “I do Rosé. I promise I’ll start trying to move on from you after tonight. So please, just give me this last time,” Jungkook begs, his voice croaking already.

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.”

“What…what do you mean no?” Jungkook asks, the pain being extremely evident on his voice. “I’m just asking for one last—“

I shake my head, “I don’t want this to be our last Jungkook.”

It takes an excruciating while before Jungkook finally speaks. “Okay, now I don’t understand what you’re saying,” his grasp on me finally loosens as he ponders on what I just said.

“I’m saying, don’t give up on us.”

It takes Jungkook another good five seconds before responding, “I’m sorry but I’m getting so confused now Rosé.” I could sense Jungkook tugging his hair. “One minute you were saying how we aren’t good together and now you’re saying an entirely different thing.”

“I know I did. But I just want…I want us…I, uh—”

“What do you really want Rosé?” Jungkook’s wretched voice rings in the theater despite its low volume, “Please don’t play with me. Don’t get my hopes up if you’re just suddenly getting carried away and you’re not sure—“

“You’re right. I’m not sure. I still have no ing clue if this is the right thing,” and for some reason, I could feel the dejection in his entire body.

I take one of his palms and place it over my chest as I feel his own heartbeat too with my other hand. “But this is what feels right. Us is what feels right. If—if it’s with you, even though I know it’s going to be really hard, I want to try again. I want to try trusting someone again, and I want it to be you.”

“I don’t know what’s so special about you, but I don’t think I can no longer deny myself from you anymore. I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself if I just let you go once again. I just—I just,” I caress his face and finally let out what has been frustrating me all these years for being forced to be hidden, “I just love you Jungkook.”

When he continues to say nothing and remains stiff in my touch, I place my lips on his gently, letting it linger just a little bit. “I love you Coconut.”

As if the paralysis spell on him finally gets broken after hearing my genuine confession, Jungkook suddenly holds my fingers on his face firm and slowly closes the distance between us. He stops moving once our foreheads touch and the tips of our nose have grazed each other.

Even in the dark, I could see the newly-found shine and fondness in his glorious orbs. “And I love you too, Orange.”

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but my hair’s a shade of—“

“You’ll always be Orange to me, Chipmunk. Now shut up and let me kiss you.”

And finally (because really, who would argue with that oh-so-y smack-in-the-face words), he pulls me in for an electrifying kiss.

Passionate, unrushed and just significantly sweet, we tell each other how much we love and have missed each other with every brush of our lips against each other.

When Jungkook peppers me with a series of soft butterfly kisses, I know it’s because he’s sorry. I bite his lower lip in return and I trace it with my tongue, telling him that I’ve forgiven him and that I just really need the feel of him now. He then takes the kiss deeper, groaning when our tongues finally meet after a long time.

Every moment we shared then, bitter and sweet, suddenly flashes in my mind. The first day we met—the day I fell in love with a handsome stranger. That time I overheard him talking to Jackson—the first time I heard him call me Orange. The first kiss we shared and his sweet genuine confession. The day I thought the world was crumbling—the day he left. And of course, that time we got locked in here too—that time when we finally understood each other which was also the time I finally got a hint of my true feelings.

Each of those memories serves as a reminder of what can only truly make me happy.

And it’s Jungkook, because Jungkook is my sanctuary.

Jungkook is my home.

Jungkook

“Okay, so don’t be mad but I—” Rosé narrows her eyes at me then, “—actually have, uhm—you know, it’s my fourth year in CoA so, uhm—”

“So what?” Rosé continues to give me a dubious look.

“Ah, you’ve forgotten huh,” I scratch the back of my neck as I think of how should I explain this to her. “There’s a special benefit in CoA once you’ve completed three years—“

“Oh. My. God. Oh my God,” Rosé gasps when she finally puts one and one together. “You had the ing keys to the door all along and you didn’t even bother to mention it?!"

“Oh my God, I take it back. I really, really can’t trust you and I really, really hate you!” Rosé cups her face and pouts, and I know I shouldn’t find it so adorable at the moment but I can’t help it. Thank God she can’t see my reaction right now.

“Well I was about to tell you but—“

She scoffs, “Sure you were.”

“Well to be honest, I was debating about it because I knew you would run away as soon as the doors fly open and I couldn’t let that happen without us getting back together. But then you were looking so scared like a shivering cat that I was about to disclose to you the truth about the keys, but then you told me to shut up, so I did.”

Rosé then buries her face in her palms in complete embarrassment as she realizes that we could have gotten out sooner if it wasn’t for her unexplainable mood swings. “Stupid Rosé,” she mutters repeatedly.

Sigh.

Everything about this woman is really just endearing. I’m lucky to call her mine once again. I’ll probably be a snail in my next life with all this luck I’m using up now.

I walk in front of Rosé and try to detach her hands from her face as I’m worried of what she’s thinking right now, but she doesn’t let me. “Idiot, you should have said it’s because you wanted to make up with me that’s why you purposely didn’t say anything about it. Why do you have to make me feel so mortified? You don’t have sense at all. I hate you!”

Sigh.

See, she’s still the cutest being in the entire universe even when she says she hates me.

Decided, I snake an arm around her just below her shoulders, the other under her knees, and pick her up like a bride. Rosé then protests and asks me to put her down, but I hold her resolute where I could feel her skin getting hotter as she feels more embarrassed.

When she realizes she’s lost this fight, she shifts her position and hides her very warm—and probably very red—face on my chest.

She punches me persistently as she mumbles along the lines, “Jerk. Idiot. Stupid Coconut. You’re lucky I love you and that you’re hot, my type of hot, you prick.”

“Yes, yes,” I chuckle. “I’m definitely favored by the stars because the most gorgeous, iest, smartest, yummiest, and everything-else-that-describes-my-kind-of-perfect woman loves me. And I love her too.”

Rosé kicks the door—she was still in my arms—as soon as I got to unlock it. She then jumps out of my grasp in excitement when she sees the view in front of us: rain.

She quickly runs to middle of the street and spins in circles as she feels every drop of the sky’s tears on her face and on every tip of her skin.

Ah, incredibly beautiful.

Undoubtedly, the most beautiful person to grace my life is her.

I run after her, not caring how wet and heavy my clothes will be. When her elated eyes land on me, I kneel before her and ask, “Can I have this dance?”

Rosé just blinks her eyes for a long time before bursting out laughing, “Oh my God, Jungkook! That is so cheesy and High School Musical-ish,” she says, repulsed. But then she takes my hand anyway and gives me one of her dazzling smile that swept my heart from then on, “and I love it!”

Rosé then lifts her arms and lets it travel from my chest, brushing my jaw gently before she finally intertwines her fingers behind my neck, gently caressing it. I pull her closer then with my hands firmly placed at her hips. We rest our foreheads together, letting the tips of our nose touch. Slowly and naturally, we waltz to the beat of the falling rain.

After a while of just comfortably swaying and turning in the presence of just us, Rosé finally breaks the silence. “You know what’s missing?”

I tilt my head and knit my brows, “There’s something missing?” That’s weird, considering Rosé is all that completes me.

She happily beams like a child who just got a present, “We’re dancing without music!”

“Shouldn’t the sound of the rain be enough music for you, Ms. Poetic?” I while pinching her chubby cheeks.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” she says while scrunching her nose. And as if a switch was flipped, Rosé gives me her puppy-eyes and cute pouty look. She asks in her best aegyo voice, “Sing for me, jebal~?”

I look at the empty streets, at the sky that kept on crying, “Really? Right now?”

“Yeah! You’re a musical actor; singing while doing some slow ballroom dance should be a piece of cake for you.”

Rosé then changes her strategy when she notices how unconvinced I am by this set-up. She gazes at me seductively, her plump lips. She then grabs my head and places her lips next to my ear. My knees become weak then when her hot breath comes in contact with my skin.

She whispers in a husky voice, “Don’t think you no longer have to make up for everything. You’ll still have to write me those letters every day--not in blood, but still, every day. Honestly darling, just those letters won’t be enough. You got a lot of buttering to do.”

Gulp.

At this point, I’m not sure if it’s her voice that’s melting my insides or her threats.

Without even knowing how uncontrollable my heart is right now, Rosé the back of my ear and bites on my lobe, “And if you want to get more than this tonight…you might want to start by serenading me.”

Rosé

“Okay, just give me a second,” Jungkook mutters, his voice has