"Ellie! You are soooooo cool"

Little Elise was clinging to my leg as she squealed in excitement. It was the last day the Ackermans were going to be in Korea and I had decided to invite Emily and Elise over for lunch. Once we were done with the food, that kid had somehow found her way to the channel where my performance was on and was enjoying it so much till I walked into the living room snacks in hand.

"My mummy was telling me that I reminded you of Big Elise and that it helped you write your song. That means I helped you write your song right? I'm so excited! I helped write your song!" And with that final outburst, she released my leg from her clutches, reached for the snacks I was holding and ran back to continue watching. Seeing her daughter's antics, Emily got up with an apologetic smile and started walking towards me.

"You did not have to invite us over you know? Elise is bothering you, isn't she? About the songwriting thing, I tried to explain to her but have long given up on getting through" Emily finished a little exasperated.

"Hahaha don't worry about it Emily, she'll understand soon enough and it's no trouble really. Besides I wanted to see her before you leave. I'm actually going to miss the kid.. and you.. you guys are like family now and I'm not saying that just because they share the same name"

I watched as tears filled her eyes. I took a step forward and gave her a hug.

"Anything you want, anything you need, I'm here. Just ask. I'm just a phone call away. I wanna be there for Elise and you. That accident took away a lot from both of us so all we can do is be there for each other. Okay?" I whispered feeling this weird sense of attachment to the woman in my arms.

I felt Emily nod into my shoulder before shifting out of my hug.

"Thank you for saying that Ellie. I'm really glad we came. Elise is so happy to have met you. Thank you for bringing joy back into our lives. And letting me have closure. By forgiving us. And thank you for welcoming us into your life. We may not have started out on the right foot and I know it must have been hard but you did it anyway. You have a big heart.  And that is exactly why everyone is going to love you. You’re gonna do great."

Now it was my turn to get emotional but I hurried to blink the tears away. I opened my arms for another hug, which Emily gladly walked straight into.

"Please don't be a stranger and stay in touch. It doesn't only have to be about Ellie's stuff okay? Please remember that."

As I pulled away I heard sobs and turned to see Elise with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Are we.. saying.. goodbye? I.. don't.. want.. to say.. goodbye.." Elise managed between sobs. Wordlessly, I squat down and Elise ran straight into my open arms.

"We are saying goodbye but it's not forever. You can call me, we can have video calls, we can even write letters if you want. I promise to visit whenever I can. So it is Not goodbye forever. Okay?" I said as I tried to sooth little Elise.

"You promise?"

"I promise"

A little more tears and a few more hugs and the Ackermans left. I wanted to send them off at the airport but my schedule was packed so I had to settle for watching them drive away into the streets of Seoul.

Like clockwork, my phone rang and it was Sooyoung Unnie. 

"Hi Unnie.."

"Why the sad voice? Dreading training?"

"No.. I mean yeah that too.. but I just sent the Ackermans off. I'm just a little sad that I couldn't send them off at the airport"

"And to think you hated the sight of them at first" Sooyoung Unnie commented.

"Yeah but I've grown to love them as my own.. Never thought that would ever happen but it did" I said a little absentmindedly.

"Well how about you do this newly attained family proud by coming into the office now for your training so that you can be the best that you can be?"

"You don't need to coax me unnie. I'll be be ready to leave in 5 mins. Besides I can't wait to see you and your beautiful face"

Before I realised it, it slipped out. I'm so used to making such cheesy comments that it just came out naturally. But this time I wasn't really sure that I only intended for it to be just any old cheesy comment. Silence passed between us and I suddenly had nothing to say.

"Just... be here.. as soon as you can. I will see you when you get here." Sooyoung Unnie finally said. 

"Yeah... erm I'll see ya soon. Bye." I hurried to hang up to avoid blurting out something else.

After the day I noticed how amazingly beautiful my manager was, I didn't really have any time to think about it. Well, not until this day at least. One thing I knew for sure was that I was attracted to her but I just wasn't sure if I liked her. I mean I did like her as my manager. She's amazing. But as a person, I wasn't really sure if I knew enough about her yet. But gosh what mattered most was that she actually liked me back. Both of us being girls kinda reduced the odds. And god forbid, I mess up the relationship. Who's gonna be my manager?

And just like that, my whole drive was spent on playing a gazillion scenarios in my head, talking myself in and out of pursuing my attraction to my oh so beautiful manager. 

When I got there Sooyoung Unnie greeted me at the entrance. She went about instructing me in a very business like manner which was very unlike her.

"Go to level 2 studio 1. You'll be having dance training with the other trainees. Once that is done, you will be going for your individual vocal training. I will be preparing for your other upcoming schedules. So if you need me I will be in the managers' office."

"Oh okay unnie.. sure.. see ya later"

"You can leave once you are done. I will send you the details of the next schedule"

It felt like the biggest wall had just been built between us. Was it my comment? I hadn't the slightest clue as to what happened but I didn't like it at all.

Training went by as a blur. I got through it but my heart wasn't in it. I hit the showers and just as I was about to walk out, I heard voices outside and realised they were talking about me.

"Why did she have to come to our country? Why invade our territory. I wish she would go back home. Nobody is gonna love her. She is arrogant. She thinks she is so talented and showing off. And that stupid story about her family, we know she's lying just to gain sympathy. It's all fake! We are sure it is all f.."

"Stop it! All of you! You're jealousy is blinding you. Ellie is so talented and yet she is so humble about it. She is so beautiful and yet she never accepts a compliment. So cares so much about others. She's compassionate, she's kind and she's true. She's been through so much and yet she is still standing strong. She is amazing. I admire her. All these qualities is what makes her amazing. It's why I like her"

Sooyoung Unnie paused after she said that last line.

"It is why everyone is going to like her." She continued a little stronger.

"So I suggest all of you work hard on your skills but more importantly work on your attitude, if you ever want to come close to Ellie. Do you girls understand?" Sooyoung Unnie finally finished.

I heard footsteps rushing away and finally stepped out. I saw Sooyoung unnie standing against the wall eyes closed. Sooyoung Unnie looked a million times more beautiful to me in that moment. She had just stood up for me when she did not really need to. She cared. She was dedicated and she was loyal. She always knew the right thing to say when I was lost and needed advice. She was amazing and I suddenly realised how much I would be missing if I didn't take a chance with this woman. 

"Thanks Unnie." I said quietly

Sooyoung unnie open her eyes quickly and looked at me shocked at first and in a second I could swear I saw sadness but that quickly disappeared as she acted all nonchalant.

"It was nothing, I was just doing my job" and there it was. The 10 feet wall was up again. But I just wasn't having it. Before she could walk away I spoke up.

"What happened Unnie? Why this weird behaviour? Did I do something wrong?"

I had a feeling it was because of the comment I made during the phonecall. But if she felt weird about it didn't it mean that she felt something for me too? If she didn't like me back she probably wouldn't even have thought anything of what I said. So why was she avoiding me? I didn't get it.

"No you didn't do anything wrong. You can never do anything wrong. It's just something I have a little trouble dealing with." Sooyoung unnie said without looking at me.

"Unnie, look at me. What's wrong? Talk to me."

Sooyoung Unnie looked up at me, tears threatening to fall. "It is something I really want but I can't have, even when it is right infront of me. It's too complicated for me to have it, but the idea of not having it is too painful"

She kept her eyes locked on mine. Like she was hoping I would understand. And I did. I so totally did. I understood what she meant by complicated. We were manager and artist after all. She was avoiding me because she liked me and not because she didnt like me. She was worried about my career. She was worried about me and was willing to sacrifice her feelings. So I also understood what she would have gone through if she stayed my manager believing her affections were entirely one-sided. But that was it. It wasn't one-sided. I was going to let her know it. No matter how complicated this could get, I wanted to give this a chance and she had to know.

"Unnie, what makes you so sure that you can't have it?" She looked away as I said that.

I reached for her chin and tilted it up till she was looking at me again. I slide my hand to cup her face.

"I.. like you unnie. I think you're beautiful.. inside and out. I want to give this.. whatever it is that we have.. a chance. I know this could get complicated but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. You are worth it." My eyes flickered to her lips and darted back up to her eyes. I closed in slowly and as her eyes flickered shut I took it as a greenlight and gently kissed her. It was a sweet chaste kiss. As I opened my eyes, I could see tears running down her cheeks. But she was smiling and it warmed my heart. She did like me back. And for now that was going to be all that mattered.

"I like you too Ellie, a lot. Since the day we met. But this is going to get complicated. It doesn't help that we are both girls. Do you really think we can make this work?

"We'll make this work, Unnie. I promise. And for starters, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"