The day was bright and the leaves that belonged to towering trees were painted in a beautiful disarray of colours, nearly blinding the people who passed by. The leaves mixed and meshed until you couldn't really point out which colour the whole was, and it oddly reminded Baekhyun of how he felt a few months after he met a certain giant.

Baekhyun took in a deep breath, feeling the breeze of September run through his hair like a dance. It would be an understatement to say that it was gorgeous outside, and the feeling of Autumn brought Baekhyun back to the first day that everything got tangled up. 

He could still remember the way that Chanyeol had run up to him in such distress, and how his words had shocked Baekhyun to the core.

Now, one year later, it seemed as if he was just thinking about a story that someone had written out. There were tons of twists and misunderstandings, but Baekhyun couldn't say that he regretted all of it.

Baekhyun stared at the person currently holding his hand firmly, swinging it back in forth in between them. He smiled as he stared at the giant's black hair.

His recently dyed black hair always surprised Baekhyun, because he was used to seeing Chanyeol with hair the colour of cherries. 

"It's time to move on," Chanyeol had stated during August, and the next day he met Baekhyun with black hair. 

Baekhyun couldn't decide which hair he liked the most, because Chanyeol's black hair reminded him of when they had met in high school, whereas the Chanyeol with red hair was the one he fell in love with. 

"Isn't it pretty outside?" Chanyeol broke Baekhyun's train of thought as he glanced at the smaller with a smile on his face before staring back at the scenery before them.

They were simply walking through a park—to be more specific, the park where Baekhyun was an idiot and ate walnut flavoured ice cream. The memory still made him laugh at how stupidly he was thinking, but he also kind of appreciated the dessert for finally forcing him to say what he felt for Chanyeol. 

That day, the sky was the same colour as it was now; baby blue with little clouds to block out the alluring colour. The grass was still as green as it was in summer, clashing with the reds, oranges, and yellows of the steadily falling leaves. 

Baekhyun hummed joyfully as he fiddled with the ring on his middle finger, the smooth silver a constant reminder of Chanyeol. He had gotten it for his birthday a few months ago from Chanyeol and the giant went all the way, making sure that his name and birthdate was carved on the inside. 

The last few months had been completely stressing and relieving at the same time because of all the loose ends they had to tie up. For example, on Baekhyun's birthday, they had decided to let all of their parents meet at the Park's house—and because of that fact, Chanyeol stated that it was a good idea to reveal what truly happened between the twins and himself.

Chanyeol didn't think it'd be such a big deal but Baekhyun was freaking out the entire time, tripping over his words and avoiding all eye contact. In the end, Chanyeol was proved right (again) and Baekhyun's parents only warned Chanyeol that he better actually love Baekhyun. 

Of course, Chanyeol had answered accordingly by pulling Baekhyun in for a kiss right in front of all of them, scaring the hell out of the smaller and causing everyone to laugh nonstop.

Another event that was noteworthy was having to break it to Kyungsoo and Jongin that Baekgyu had passed away. Lately, Kyungsoo had been smiling a lot more because of Jongin, his relationship steadily growing and becoming more than just a ploy to make Chanyeol jealous like it used to be. When Baekhyun told him the news during a double date (pretty bad timing), Kyungsoo's smile slipped off of his face and Jongin just sat there frozen. That day had ended with Kyungsoo crying and having to be driven home by his boyfriend, a guilty Baekhyun paying for the food bill. 

Baekhyun took in another breath of the fresh air, thinking back to his twin.

It had been half a year since Baekgyu's death, and a little more than 4 months since his funeral. Since then, Baekhyun could never forget about the pain that Baekgyu's disappearance caused him

Every time he received a smile from anyone or the chance to laugh, he'd always be reminded that Baekgyu had limited occasions to do the same... but along with those thoughts, he'd remember what Baekgyu's letter told him.

Without reading those words, Baekhyun was sure that he probably would have never been able to feel truly happy again. 

But he did read those words. He understood them, and they're glued inside of his head. 

And he's happy.

He took Baekgyu's words to heart, and he'll never ever forget them.

~

Hello, Baekhyun, it's me, Baekgyu. 
If you're reading this that either means that you found it in mom's stash of  VHS disks (why were you looking in there) or... I'm actually dead. 

Sometimes I can't actually believe that you'll be reading this when I'm gone, but it's bound to happen, right? 

It's August 10th and you're sleeping in your bed. I'm supposed to leave for Tokyo tomorrow. 

I have a lot of things to say.

First of all, Baekhyun, don't be sad.
If you think that, in any way, my death was your fault, you're wrong. I have lung cancer (or had) and it was inevitable to being with. Mom and dad never told you because I asked them not to. I didn't want to be pitied by everyone that looked at me.

Second of all, Chanyeol.
You may or may not have met him, I don't know but... He's my boyfriend and if I'm really dead, take him, will you? He's really cute and tall, I promise. But when I'm alive, he's mine get your hands off. 

Third... Sorry.
I know I'm a terrible person, and I know that you hate me, but what can I do?

When you know that your life is going to end way earlier than everyone else's, you start feeling a little selfish. I'm sorry for any pain that I've put you through, or any of the hardships that I've randomly your way.

I've always been stupid and overanalyzing and I'm sorry for my imperfections too. I know that when we were younger, you looked up to me a lot and I ruined that image for you. Sometimes, I even contemplated moving away just so that people could see you instead of me. 

There's one more important thing.

I know that you're always walking in my shadow, I can see it in the way that you look at me. I don't blame you, and instead I just want to tell you to be happy. It doesn't matter if I died a few days earlier than what I predicted, or if Chanyeol ends up meeting you or something like that, just be happy, please?

I can't bear to see you sad, trust me when I say that. Sometimes my selfishness goes over the top and I say things that I regret and do things that I want to take back. I just want you to be happy. Forget about me and all of the things I've done to you.

When I'm gone, you'll just be Byun Baekhyun.

The small and cute Byun Baekhyun that I love.

I want you to find someone who loves you more than I do.

Ignore everything that people say to you, ignore what I've ever said to you, ignore everything that made you feel hurt. 

You're my little brother and twin, but you're also an individual with choices and a real life to live. 

You deserve happiness, too.

Goodbye, Baekhyun.

THE END