Tissues, anyone? 

They may be needed lmao... Anyways, I hope you enjoyed those last two chapters, because these next ones are quite... the chapters.

"Do you like anyone?" Baekgyu asked as he rolled onto his stomach, his elbows supporting the top half of his body so that he could stare at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun pursed his lips, playing with the dandelions in his hands as he leaned back against the small tree.

" 'Like someone', as in more than friends?" Baekhyun questioned Baekgyu and when his elder twin nodded he snorted. "What, are we suddenly back in grade 5?"

"Just answer the question, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun smiled as he thought about the mysterious dark haired male that he met more than once, and he wondered if the butterflies in his stomach were caused by him.

He found it kind of funny; how he had no clue what the guy's name was, and the guy always thought he was Baekgyu. It made it sort of fun, like some type of game of 'how long would it take for him to figure out Baekgyu had a twin'. Just imagining his reaction made Baekhyun want him to figure it out sooner.

"You're taking an awfully long time to answer the question," Baekgyu speculated, and the younger threw the dandelions onto the grass beside him, sighing.

"I don't know, maybe?"

"If it's a 'maybe', it's a yes. Who is it? Spill." Baekgyu was now sitting cross-legged in front of a hesitant Baekhyun, looking way too excited to know who was on Baekhyun's mind.

Baekhyun gnawed on his bottom lip and said in quiet words, "Kim Taeyeon?"

Baekgyu's brows knitted as he stared at Baekhyun with an expression filled with confusion. "I thought you were gay," he said bluntly and Baekhyun nearly jumped onto the other, looking around to make sure nobody heard him.

"What are you even saying," Baekhyun hissed, "You know how our parents are against gays."

Of course, Baekgyu had said the truth: Baekhyun was gay.

But Baekhyun didn't want anyone knowing, so he had lied and instead said the name of the quiet girl he met at the library around a week ago.

"Well, enough about that... There's this guy named Chanyeol," Baekgyu stated, smiling happily as he basically glowed.

Just seeing Baekgyu smile made Baekhyun smile too, and Baekhyun disregarded the fact that Baekgyu was talking about a guy. He simply looked too happy.

"He's tall, and he's handsome, and he's funny and adorable and honestly everything that I want in a boyfriend—obviously, you should know by now that I like guys." Baekgyu sighed dreamily as he stared at who knows what, reminding Baekhyun of those love-struck characters. "I wish he just asked me out sometime."

Baekhyun, on the other hand, wished that he'd find his match someday, because even if that mysterious guy intrigued him, he had yet to learn more about him. He wanted to—one day—be able to smile like Baekgyu while talking about someone that he had met.

"And that guy's name is Chanyeol?" Baekhyun questioned, confirming the name again.

"Yeah, Park Chanyeol."

~

"Baekhyun, Baekgyu is..."

The phone nearly dropped out of Baekhyun's hand as he heard his mother's cries on the other side of the line, his paled features alarming Chanyeol that something was wrong.

"B—Baekgyu?" Baekhyun asked, frantic, "What happened to Baekgyu?"

His mother didn't seem to have it in her to talk, so in the next second he heard his dad's voice, "Baekhyun, come to the hospital, now."

He already felt tears welling up in his eyes as he turned to look at Chanyeol, his panicked expression showing that there was no time for questions. He hung up and almost ran out of the door, slipping on his shoes as fast as he could. Chanyeol was right behind him as they rushed out of their room and then the building, entering Chanyeol's car that was parked a few spots away from the exit.

"H—Hospital," Baekhyun managed to say in the midst of the tornado in his mind, buckling himself in.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was wrong, so without any words, Chanyeol pressed down on the accelerator.

They were a little over the speed limit as Chanyeol tried to think about which hospital Baekhyun was talking about. He figured that he'd best go to the one closest to the smaller's house, because that was where Baekgyu would be taken to in an emergency.

He turned and looked over at Baekhyun shortly, worried for the other that was basically shaking the entire time. He reached over and grabbed Baekhyun's hand reassuringly, feeling the small tremble in his pretty fingers and the squeeze that Baekhyun gave him.

He could only imagine how Baekhyun was feeling—because he himself wasn't feeling all that peachy. Even if Baekgyu had been someone who betrayed both him and Baekhyun, he couldn't erase the feelings that he had for Baekgyu back in high school. Of course, Baekhyun had taken over most of his heart, but there was still a little spot that wanted what he had with Baekgyu.

It was his turn to freak out a little as he pressed on the pedal harder, taking the two to the place where someone they both cared for was laying and possibly dying.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about Baekgyu. He tried his hardest to look outside and be interested with the scenery, but whenever he did, he'd be reminded of Baekgyu. Baekhyun now couldn't stop thinking about the words that Baekgyu had told him, about how his parents never loved him; how he had no friends; how he knew he didn't have much time left...

Baekhyun felt like such a ing idiot. 

The moment he figured out that Baekgyu had cancer, he should've stayed with him every second of the day and treasure him.

Instead, he had gone to see Chanyeol.

He turned to look at Chanyeol, but he still couldn't bring himself to blame Chanyeol for anything at all. And even now, when Baekgyu's pulse could stop at any second, Baekhyun didn't want to let go of Chanyeol's hand.

He was pulled in too deep and he didn't mind or care to do anything; only letting himself be drowned.

He looked back at the front and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. The moment he did, he was reminded of the time where Baekgyu had tried to 'suffocate' him with a pillow as a joke, and he found himself holding back tears again.

It wasn't even confirmed that Baekgyu was dead, but Baekhyun could feel it somewhere in his heart that there wasn't much time left, if any.

They finally stopped in front of the hospital and Baekhyun quickly let go of Chanyeol's hand, getting out of the car as he basically ran inside.

People were looking at him curiously but he could care less, walking further into the place that held Baekgyu.

He hated the hospital, because everyone that went there had stories that always made Baekhyun cry. He never imagined that one day he'd be the one telling stories about the time he went to the hospital for his brother.

"Byun Baekgyu," Baekhyun said to the nurse as she quickly typed something on her computer.

"Room 68, floor two," she told him, and Chanyeol entered just in time for Baekhyun to grab his hand, dragging him to the stairs.

He didn't even want to stand still for two seconds, climbing the stairs quickly without regarding whether Chanyeol was alright or not. Baekhyun almost fell face first as he reached the second floor, recovering quickly and trying to run but getting interrupted.

Chanyeol pulled him back and Baekhyun wanted to rip out his hair because he couldn't afford any interruptions at the moment.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol called and Baekhyun turned around, his teeth gritted and his eyes still filled with tears, "Take a deep breath."

Baekhyun didn't listen as he turned around and tried to keep walking, but Chanyeol's hold on his arm was tight.

"Baekhyun."

Baekhyun snapped and he yelled: "Do I look like I have time to 'take a deep breath'?!"

He didn't even feel guilty for yelling at Chanyeol, because the need to see if Baekgyu was alright was the only thing that mattered.

He tried ripping his arm out of Chanyeol's grasp but Chanyeol only grabbed onto both of his shoulders, forcing him to stare straight at the taller.

"I'm not letting you go to Baekgyu in this state," Chanyeol stated as Baekhyun resisted the urge to scream.

The smaller was feeling all sorts of emotions, and all he wanted was some peace of mind, which was something Chanyeol wasn't giving him.

"Let go of me," Baekhyun ordered, his words menacing, "My twin brother is in the room over there—he could possibly be dying right now and you want me to waste my time here?" Baekhyun was breaking down with every word as he tried to keep himself standing, feeling the weight of the world crush him down, "How am I supposed to do that when I'm just about to lose someone that I've spent more than half of my life with? And until a couple of days ago I didn't even know that his condition was this bad. I blamed him for things when he was dying physically and mentally."

Baekhyun tried desperately to wipe the tears away from his eyes, "Do you even know what I feel like right now?" He asked in a choked tone, shaking as his tears only intensified, "W—What if my last words to him was a half-hearted 'bye' as I went to take the person he loved more than anything?"

He was engulfed in Chanyeol's hug as his tears stained the other's shirt, rambling on about everything wrong that he's done to Baekgyu. "I was an to him and I even took something away from him that I don't regret, and now he's breathing his last breaths and thinking his last thoughts."

He didn't even realize that Chanyeol had been crying until he felt one of the giant's tears fall onto the skin of his neck, alarming him and stopping his thoughts for a second.

"W—Why are you crying?" Baekhyun asked as he tried to pull away only to be hugged tighter.

"You're not the only one who cares for Baekgyu, you know."

It was like a sudden realization hit him as he realized that oh, Chanyeol loved Baekgyu at some point too. He loved Baekgyu enough to wait a whole year for his arrival back to Korea, he loved Baekgyu enough to memorize every single detail about him, and he loved Baekgyu enough to trust him wholeheartedly.

Even if the 'love' was past tense, Baekhyun knew that there was still some of it left in Chanyeol's heart.

Baekhyun felt a little at ease because there was someone who felt maybe the same pain that he did. He recalled that Chanyeol didn't even know what was happening to Baekgyu, and he suddenly felt bad for yelling at Chanyeol. If Baekhyun felt this horrible about not knowing about Baekgyu's case earlier, how did Chanyeol feel when he figured out right when Baekgyu was at his worst?

Now Baekhyun was the one consoling Chanyeol, his fingers running through Chanyeol's hair softly. It was awkward because Baekhyun was shorter than him, but at least he knew it was somewhat working when Chanyeol pulled away, staring at Baekhyun who could only look worse than Chanyeol's lightly disheveled appearance.

He leaned in to give Baekhyun a deep kiss, and the latter felt the world spinning around him. It was crazy: with abnormal circumstances and insane thoughts, Chanyeol somehow always made him feel as if he had fallen in love once again.

He felt himself relax even further as he basically melted in Chanyeol's hold, not wanting the feeling of safety to leave his side anytime soon.

Chanyeol eventually pulled away and gave him a light smile. "Let's go?" He questioned and Baekhyun nodded, letting the taller lead them.

Later, he slowed his steps so that he was walking beside Baekhyun, the two sticking close together. They both felt as if—without the other—the pieces of themselves that they so desperately tried to keep together would fall apart.

They arrived at door 68, stalling for a few more moments before locking gazes shortly and opening the door.

The beeping of a monitor was what Baekhyun took in first and he felt a wave of gratitude fill him when he realized that the monotone noise was a sign that Baekgyu was still alive.

The two of them walked in to see Baekgyu laying on a bed, his eyes closed and his body in his signature log-form.

Baekhyun blinked back tears as they sat down in chairs that his parents had most likely sat in. He immediately reached for Baekgyu's hand with his free one, holding back a sob as he felt the stark difference in Chanyeol's hand and Baekgyu's. Chanyeol's skin was warm and it gave him security, whereas Baekgyu's skin was cool, a telltale sign that what was happening wasn't going in his favour.

He was holding hands with the two people he knew the most and held closest to his heart, noticing that Chanyeol probably knew more about him than his parents ever had. Even now, he couldn't stop thinking about Chanyeol for any second, beginning to wonder if he was becoming insane or if he was just completely addicted to someone who started off as his brother's.

It broke his heart to see Baekgyu this way, wondering how many times Baekgyu had already slept in a hospital bed, all by himself, in a different country.

It was like Baekgyu sensed their presences because his eyes began to open, the familiar brown irises meeting with Baekhyun's own. Baekgyu's gaze rested on Baekhyun for a few moments before it slowly trailed towards Chanyeol and his hands. When Baekhyun realized what happened, he quickly let go of Chanyeol's hand, unable to shamelessly hold it when Baekgyu was staring.

Baekgyu stared at Chanyeol for a bit, and then back to Baekhyun. Baekhyun didn't know if he should be weirded out that Baekgyu was like this, or be happy that Baekgyu was actually conscious.

Suddenly, Baekgyu started laughing, quietly at first before it grew in volume. It alerted both Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and they gave each other a worried gaze before focusing back on Baekgyu.

"I see you guys have been working things out," the older twin stated in a weak voice, and his words felt like a stab to Baekhyun's heart.

Those eyes that had been previously filled with amusement and borderline anger now looked melancholic, as if he was remembering a sad memory.

It confused Baekhyun to no ends, but he decided not to say anything, waiting for the other to speak up to yell at him or to blame him for everything. Baekhyun was honestly expecting it, and he was ready to tell Baekgyu everything he wanted to—if it really was one of Baekgyu's last days.

They could do nothing but stare at Baekgyu as he moved his gaze to the ceiling on top of them, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

"Chanyeol... Can you leave?" Baekgyu requested, and Baekhyun was shocked. Baekhyun only ever expected Baekgyu to tell him to leave, not Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol looked hesitant, and Baekhyun wanted to grab his hand and keep him inside the room, but the taller listened to Baekgyu's orders and left with quiet footsteps.

When there was only the two of them left, silence filled every crack of the room, unwilling to let Baekhyun feel at ease. The beeping of the monitor that had previously reassured him now seemed like a timer to Baekgyu's death; counting down the beats before the line would go flat.

Baekgyu took in a breath and didn't take his gaze off the ceiling as he said: "I never thought that Chanyeol would get taken from me."

Baekhyun was biting the inside of his cheek, feeling the familiar regret pile in his stomach. Even if Baekhyun didn't know that things would end up that way, he couldn't help but feel like it was his fault Baekgyu was laying there.

"I'm sorry..." Baekhyun said in a voice a little above a whisper.

"For what?"

Baekgyu turned to look at Baekhyun, his eyes different than earlier.

"For... For everything," Baekhyun mentioned, lowering his head and avoiding his brother's gaze. "If I knew—"

"If you knew, Baekhyun, this still would have happened," Baekgyu's tone was a little angry, but there was no real threat behind it, "Even if you knew that I would die one day, you still would have fallen in love with Chanyeol."

"But... I don't blame you." Baekgyu turned to look at the ceiling again, as if it was some sort of holder for his thoughts, "Being here; almost dying... It made me realize."

Baekhyun carefully lifted his head to stare at Baekgyu who was still in the midst of gathering his thoughts.

"I had a dream, you know. It was about that time when I asked you if you liked anyone. Remember that? Under the tree?" Baekgyu closed his eyes as if he was reliving it the entire time, his face somewhat peaceful. "I knew, at that time, that you liked Chanyeol."

Baekhyun's eyes widened in shock as he forgot everything except what Baekgyu was saying.

"Though I was too selfish to let you like him. I was a complete jerk and decided to claim him as mine even when I knew you liked him. It's no shock that you decided to take him back."

"I never tried to—"

"You say that, but you know that in the end you'd go back to Chanyeol instead of me," Baekgyu remarked, "And I'm the same."

Baekhyun had no words to reply with, feeling as if it wasn't enough to simply say that he wouldn't have done that, since it would have been a lie.

Baekgyu was good at reading Baekhyun's thought when he really needed to, and this time was no different. He could see that Baekhyun felt guilty, but he never truly said sorry. If Baekhyun was actually sorry, he would've never went to see Chanyeol again, but it was obvious that wasn't the case.

"We both love him a little too much, and who could blame us?" Baekgyu questioned, "He's too perfect for me."

Baekhyun counted three beats where nothing was heard, until Baekgyu spoke up again. "But he's just perfect for you."

Baekhyun felt confusion fill him as he took in Baekgyu's words, wondering why his heart clenched harder with every second that passed.

"You were always perfect, Baekhyun. You had good grades, a trustworthy friend, parents who actually loved you... And you always had a personality that Chanyeol liked better."

Hearing Baekgyu's point of view on his life was something that slapped him in the face, because he spent his entire life jealous of Baekgyu who had it all when in reality Baekhyun already had more than he did the moment he was born.

All the time that Baekhyun used thinking about how Baekgyu had all the stuff that he wanted, all the popularity that he didn't have... He would never have imagined that almost every single day of Baekgyu's life was probably filled with thoughts like when will my heart stop? What will be my last words? Who will I spend my last seconds with?

"It might've seemed like I hated you at one point, but I could never truly hate you. You're just too perfect to hate. That's also another reason why I didn't want you meeting Chanyeol. He would've talked with you, and he would've seen just how much better you are than me, and I would've been left alone," Baekgyu's breathing was shaky and his eyes were filled with tears, the smaller unable to form something reasonable to say.

"Nobody's perfect—" Baekhyun tried, only to be cut off by Baekgyu.

"Yeah... Nobody's figuratively perfect, but seen through someone else's eyes, they could be. Doesn't Chanyeol seem perfect to you? H—His faults seem like nothing at all, even when he trips because of his lanky feet and his dancing seems like duck imitations, he seems like someone who came right out of a princess' dreams... Nobody's perfect, but you two are."

Baekgyu wasn't making sense at all, and Baekhyun shook his head. "That means that you're perfect too."

"I've never—been perfect. How can someone be perfect when they don't have a full life ahead of them?"

Baekhyun was stunned into silence once again as he just watched Baekgyu cry, biting his lip.

"Don't get me wrong," Baekgyu spoke, "I'm not crying because I'm sad..." He took in a deep breath, "It just hurts a lot."

"I'm sure we're all hurting here. All of us... We've all gone through so much—" Baekhyun was yet again cut off by Baekgyu.

"No... I'm—I'm physically hurting right now."

"What?" Baekhyun asked, panicked as he surveyed Baekgyu's body to see what he was talking about. "What hurts?"

"It's not what you can fix, Baekhyun. If you could—somehow replace my lungs so that it feels like I'm n—not suffocating, go ahead, but I don't think you have superpowers or a degree yet."

Baekgyu was grasping at every breath now but he tried to make it seem like he wasn't struggling at all. His breathing was ragged and Baekhyun stood up to press the emergency button but he was stopped as Baekgyu grabbed his arm.

"No."

Baekhyun looked at him crazily, wondering what was wrong with his brother.

"Why?" Baekhyun asked, nearly losing his mind.

"Let me die."

"What the hell ?!" Baekhyun questioned as he ripped his arm out of Baekgyu's grasp. "I'm not just going to sit here and watch as you struggle to breathe before dying." Baekhyun quickly pressed the emergency button and went back over to Baekgyu, his mind in a frenzy.

"Then leave."

"Does this help somehow?" Baekhyun ignored his words as he held up a mask connected to a tube, wondering if it was like in one of those movies where it puts oxygen in someone's body.

"Maybe, but I don't want it."

"It's not the time to be suicidal!" Baekhyun yelled, wanting to slap his brother across the face. He threw the mask back to its spot and ran a hand over his face in distress, trying to hold back his tears. "The doctors will be here soon, just hold on."

"Baekhyun, shut up," Baekgyu ordered, and Baekhyun stared at his brother with angry eyes b with tears. "I n—need to tell you something."

Baekhyun didn't want to hear his words, yet at the same time he did. He was afraid that maybe, Baekgyu's last words to him would be something terrible, and something that he'd never be able to forget. 

Nonetheless, he made his way back onto the chair, holding onto Baekgyu's hand as if he was going to disappear any second.

"You... And Chanyeol..." Baekgyu closed his eyes, causing more tears to slip out and stain the sheets under his head. "Be together."

"What?" Baekhyun asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm not your dad or anything—but I allow you to marry."

Baekhyun let out an incredulous laugh at his brother's words, shaking his head. "You want to tell me this now?"

But even if he had just previously laughed, nothing was funny. They were both dying on the inside, and one of them, on the outside too.

"...You deserve so much," Baekgyu said, his voice dropping down in volume. "Unlike me."

Baekgyu started laughing which only caused him to choke, stopping as he took in small and shallow breaths. "Can I tell you m—my last words?"

"You're not going to die," Baekhyun reassured, but now he himself wasn't so sure. Baekgyu looked weaker than ever, and Baekhyun heard the sound of doctors coming from down the hallway.

How many seconds did Baekgyu have left?

How many heartbeats did he have until there were none left?

How many more words left did he have the chance to say?

"Now that I have... So l—little time left... I realize that I was an idiot. I should've been out living—instead of being upset because you took Ch—Chanyeol."

"I should've... Let you be h—happy," Baekgyu was barely breathing anymore, and Baekhyun's already present tears flowed faster when he heard the beats on the monitor increasing quickly in speed. "You're my baby brother... How could I ever..."

"You should've been happy." Baekhyun said as he choked on his sobs, his hand going up to cover his noises of grief. "I'm sorry."

"No..." Baekgyu trailed off as his hold on Baekhyun's hand weakened.

Baekgyu struggled to take one more breath, and the doors behind them opened as voices filled the room, nearly drowning out Baekgyu's final words.

They were so, so quiet, but Baekhyun heard them clearly:

"...I'm sorry."

This can't be...

Baekhyun was forcefully pulled up from his spot and he started yelling hopelessly, trying to free himself of the people's grasp as they quickly shoved him out of the room, Baekhyun desperately trying to look at Baekgyu through the mass of nurses and doctors that had entered.

He can't just be gone like this.

Baekhyun tried pushing inside one more time, his vision clearing as his gaze landed on one final thing that stopped him from trying to get back to Baekgyu's side.

With one more firm push, he stumbled back out of the room and the door was closed in front of his face.

He suddenly didn't have the strength to move or even talk, one thought going through his mind:

Baekgyu's gone.

He collapsed to his knees as he stared blankly at the wood of the door in front of him, the voices inside drowning out as Baekhyun's vision swam with endless tears.

The last thing he remembered seeing inside was the monitor's screen, countless lines that had been previously moving up and down now straight and lifeless. 

Baekgyu's dead.

His words flashed in Baekhyun's mind, and Baekhyun wanted to scream but nothing came out, only tears that marked all of the guilt, regret, and pain that he felt on the inside.

"Baekgyu," Baekhyun whispered.

He had never done anything for Baekgyu. His entire life, he hadn't done anything right, and now he lost someone that he once wished was gone.

Baekhyun leaned his head on the door in front of him and slammed his fist into the wood, his sobs shaking his body as he repeated two words he needed Baekgyu to hear. His gut was twisting, and he felt like he needed to puke from just how hard he was crying.

He had told Baekgyu what he so terribly wanted to tell him now, but his words had never been sincere. He prayed to anyone that Baekgyu would come back, even for just a few moments, so that Baekhyun could tell him; honestly and truthfully.

It was such a Baekgyu-like thing to do, not telling anyone that something was seriously wrong, until he was swallowed up by it. It was such a Baekgyu-like thing to do to pretend that he was only crying because his body hurt, and not because he had feelings, too.

He was just like anyone else. He wasn't stronger, or any bit greedier. Others were just better at hiding it, whereas he decided to be head-on with everything in life. When he couldn't get something, he'd try to make sure that he could, but he'd choose the wrong decisions and end with messing everything up.

The way Baekgyu lived... Baekhyun envied it. To be so carelessly free and push for what he wanted, even if he knew he didn't have a long time left.

Baekgyu had so abruptly disappeared from Baekhyun's life, and now he felt empty.

Even Chanyeol who appeared by his side couldn't stop him from crying out the words he truly meant.

He recalled everything he had done with Baekgyu, from beginning to end.

All of the words, gifts, memories, and smiles made Baekhyun break even more.

In the end, a relationship that had only been filled with jealousy and want of the other's life had ended with simple words that meant more than anything...

"I'm sorry."

:')

Is anyone going to miss Baekgyu?

To be honest, when I was writing this, I actually felt really sad.

Baekgyu was just... like any other human

And the way he died, I tried to make it as Baekgyu-like as possible.

Thank you for reading, there's two chapters left :)