I'm back! I hope you enjoy this chapter~

The rest of the second day at the Park's house could only be described as sweet torture, because every time Baekhyun saw Chanyeol's smile, he felt the urge to smile too—but he would stop short when he remembered the smile was only for Baekgyu, and not for him.

He knew he shouldn't be acting like this, he should have been trying to act happy and cheerful, without placing any worries into Chanyeol's mind.

But he just couldn't, it felt like an impossible task; smiling.

Every second of that day was filling with thoughts about what Baekhyun should do, about how he should act and about what he should say.

At this point, he was so near telling Chanyeol everything, because now that he truly saw how much Chanyeol adored Baekgyu, what the twins were doing was just wrong.

There was always something that stopped Baekhyun from telling Chanyeol, though, and that was when images of how Chanyeol would react flitted through his mind.

To be honest, it wasn't Chanyeol being angry that made his gut twist, but it was Chanyeol looking at him as if he was betrayed—and Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol's eyes would look so, so sad. He would rather have Chanyeol hit him in a fit of rage over Chanyeol crying to himself.

Baekhyun always bit his tongue and gave Chanyeol a smile that would make movie directors faint from how fake it was.

Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol trying to cheer him up throughout the day, cracking jokes that would usually make the smaller laugh from how stupid they were, but he just couldn't force anything out.

He was glad, that Chanyeol didn't ask anything about how he was feeling, and instead was just trying to make him happy.

During the day, he had gotten a call from Yoora, telling him that they were planning a surprise birthday party.

Her tone had been cold and slightly suspicious of Baekhyun's response, but at least they had figured out what they were going to do.

"We can go eat ddeokbokki," Chanyeol suggested as he walked beside the smaller on the sidewalk, holding onto Baekhyun's mittened hand gently.

"That sounds good," Baekhyun agreed and in a few minutes, they found themselves walking into a cute restaurant. "But it's spicy, can you handle that?" Baekhyun asked, genuinely worried.

"I'm not that much of a baby, I can at least eat spicy ddeokbokki," Chanyeol grinned and Baekhyun nodded.

They sat down in the remotely loud place, not saying anything.

Baekhyun looked at the surface of the table blankly, and he forgot where he was for a second, thinking about how he should handle things after what had been revealed earlier in the day.

"Baek," Chanyeol brought Baekhyun back to reality and he lifted his gaze, meeting Chanyeol's eyes. "What do you want to order?"

When Baekhyun noticed that there was a man standing there waiting for him to order, Baekhyun blushed, apologizing for not noticing.

The waiter quickly left after Baekhyun set his order, and the table they were sitting at was sent into a wave of silence, neither of the two knowing what to say. It was a stiff, heavy silence and Baekhyun wasn't sure how to lighten it.

"Do you like ddeokbokki?" Chanyeol asked, trying to spark up a conversation so that the silence wouldn't become too awkward.

'Awkward'... Baekhyun wondered if there was ever a moment that he'd felt awkward with Chanyeol before now, and he realized that there was none.  

"I don't eat it that much, but it's pretty good," Baekhyun replied, giving Chanyeol a tight smile.

A frown slowly made it's way onto Chanyeol's face and Baekhyun felt worry build inside of him.

When Baekhyun had told Chanyeol that he didn't want him to be sad, that wasn't a lie at all. Whenever Chanyeol was sad, it always made Baekhyun feel guilty—even if it wasn't his fault.

Baekhyun knew it was coming, and so he just braced himself to answer Chanyeol with an actually believable response.

"Are you alright, Baekgyu?" Chanyeol asked, to which Baekhyun replied with a nod.

"I'm just feeling tired, that's all," Baekhyun lied.

The smaller played with the napkin on the table, folding it anxiously to somehow calm his nerves. "Chanyeol," Baekhyun spoke up and the said man looked at him excitedly, reminding Baekhyun of a puppy. "I'm sorry I'm worrying you, but it's really nothing," he reassured.

Baekhyun took Chanyeol's hand in his own, discarding the napkin as he played with Chanyeol's fingers instead, a sad smile settling onto his features.

Chanyeol's hands were so warm and they were so big in comparison to his own—and maybe Baekhyun was fooling himself, but he felt as if his fingers fit perfectly in between Chanyeol's... Like they were meant to be there.

Baekhyun let out a sigh, not even realizing that he had already placed his fingers where they fitted seamlessly.

It could barely pass as hand holding, considering that only their fingers were together and their palms weren't even touching, but it somehow comforted Baekhyun, calming down his quick heartbeat.

Baekhyun let go of Chanyeol's hand when the waiter arrived, placing their food onto the table.

"Smells good," Baekhyun remarked, a small smile—perhaps his only real one that day—when Chanyeol began talking excitedly about how it looked perfect and reminded him of cheese in lava. "Who thinks of those two together, anyways?" Baekhyun asked as he watched Chanyeol poke at his food as if it was a game.

He didn't think he had ever met someone as childish as Chanyeol before, although he knew that he himself was very childish—if not more than Chanyeol.

They ate their food comfortably and Baekhyun was glad that the earlier atmosphere had vanished and he was feeling a little better.

Once they were almost done eating, Baekhyun's phone rang.

He looked at Chanyeol for confirmation if he could answer it, and when the giant nodded, he checked it and saw that it was an unknown number. Not really caring, he picked it up and answered.

"Hello?" Baekhyun asked and when he heard the voice of his twin, he grimaced.

"Is everything okay?" Chanyeol whispered and Baekhyun nodded, gesturing to the washroom and standing up, making his way there.

Once he was safely in one of the stalls, he talked again.

"What do you want," Baekhyun asked, his voice cold.

Of course, Baekgyu would call him using another phone just to talk to him.

"Baekhyun, I need you to listen," Baekgyu requested.

"Why would I listen to you after what you've done?" Baekhyun asked with a scoff, wanting to punch the other in the face.

Baekhyun made sure to keep his voice quiet, bending down and checking that no one else entered the washroom—but more importantly not Chanyeol, because that would ruin everything.

"I want you to just leave Chanyeol. Don't tell him anything and just leave so that I can come back later without any problems," Baekgyu said the impossible and Baekhyun seriously wondered if he was dropped on his head when he was a child.

"Leave? How am I supposed to do that when he gets education in the same place as me—not to mention lives with me," Baekhyun hissed. "And you think everything will just be spiffy if I left him now and let him wait for another 8 months before your sorry comes back? After I didn't talk to you for hours, this is the answer you give me?"

Baekhyun waited for Baekgyu's answer impatiently, wanting to just drop the call like he had done last time.

Honestly, everything Baekgyu was saying made no sense at all. How was Baekgyu expecting him to just leave University and never look back? He had made friends there and the teachers liked him. Also, he had gotten a scholarship for a reason—and that was to go to that specific school. He wasn't just going to drop it.

"What do you expect us to do then?" Baekgyu questioned.

"Tell him. Tell him everything," Baekhyun suggested and Baekgyu quickly let out a no.

There it is again, Baekgyu's strong objection of not letting Chanyeol know Baekhyun existed.

He understood Baekgyu's reason, really, but where this was going, wasn't it enough already?

"W—We can't, Baekhyun, it isn't fair," Baekgyu said frantically.

"It isn't fair for who, Chanyeol? Or for you? Because I can't say that I would care if it was unfair for you," Baekhyun knew he was breaking his image of the 'perfect brother' and that he might've stepped over the line, but with the state he was in, there was no such thing as a line.

"Why can't you just leave him alone?" Baekgyu asked in a small voice.

"How am I supposed to leave him alone after all of this?!" Baekhyun exclaimed. "I'm already too involved, and you know it. After all, I can't leave when I have friends and a job to pursue," Baekhyun stated.

"I—I don't know..." Baekgyu's voice was slowly getting more submissive, and that usually only meant that he was really sad, or he really had no inkling about what to do.

Baekhyun sighed, his nicer side slowly winning over.

"How about we talk about this later, okay? Chanyeol's waiting... I'll call you back..." Baekhyun said goodbye in a gentle voice and hung up, leaving the stall.

He smiled at Chanyeol when he sat back down in his spot, hoping that any trace of anger was gone on his face. "Sorry, I must've taken a while," he laughed sheepishly and Chanyeol shook his head.

"The call was important, right? I can't blame you." He gave Baekhyun a gentle smile and Baekhyun felt relief flood through him. "Let's go back home now, okay?"

"Okay."

~

Once they arrived home, they ended up just lazing around in Chanyeol's room until the sun set, leaving the only light in Chanyeol's room to be a lamp with a golden light.

Baekhyun actually had a task to do, and that was keeping Chanyeol in his room until 8:30, when the surprise party would begin.

He heard from Yoora that they had gotten his favourite type of cake, colourful streamers, balloons, and amazing presents.

Baekhyun's present was still tucked neatly in his backpack, yet to be given to Yoora for the surprise.

He didn't think he'd have a chance anymore, considering that it was already 8PM, but he decided that he could just give it to Chanyeol himself.

"Let's play a game," Baekhyun proposed and Chanyeol nodded eagerly, sitting up on the bed and placing his phone away.

Again, he seemed excited and happy that Baekhyun had talked to him first, unlike what he had been doing for most of the day.

"Rock paper scissors?" Baekhyun asked randomly, not actually knowing a good game to play. He only suggested to play a game because he was bored, and he didn't know if Chanyeol would stay in the room for any longer if he didn't do anything.

The giant was complaining that he was hungry even after having eaten only 2 hours ago and he always wanted to go check what everyone else was doing, and if they were setting up dinner yet.

They played a couple of rounds together before they heard Mrs. Park's voice, calling for them to come downstairs.

Finally, Baekhyun sighed and Chanyeol seemed to react the same, jumping off the bed.

Baekhyun grabbed his present and hid it behind his back, making sure to turn off Chanyeol's lamp before following closely behind.

No lights were on in the house and Baekhyun bit his lip in anticipation, wondering what their decorations looked like.

They climbed down the stairs slowly and once at the bottom, Chanyeol the lights confusedly and Baekhyun almost screamed when he saw a mop of black hair and a creepy face. The supposed creature popped a party popper and that was when Baekhyun realized it was Yoora.

"Happy birthday!" The three exclaimed and Baekhyun forgot to even say it, holding a hand to his heart from the initial shock.

Chanyeol turned around and saw Baekhyun, chuckling and ruffling his hair.

This idiot...

It made Baekhyun's insides flutter when he realized that Chanyeol didn't even focus on the decorations, and instead the first thing he did was turn around to look at him.

"Did you prepare this?" He asked and Baekhyun shook his head hastily.

"Yoora and your parents did," Baekhyun pointed out and Chanyeol turned around again, giving all three of them a hug.

"You're getting your hug later," Chanyeol winked at Baekhyun and the smaller flushed, his grip on his present tightening.

Now that Baekhyun was actually focused on what the others had prepared, he noticed that they barely had any decorations, only tons of balloons and streamers tied onto the chairs in a messy way.

His eyes teared up and he sniffled, wiping them in confusion.

He brushed off the fact that he almost cried—or... Was crying, but for some reason his eyes felt itchy so they naturally watered.

Chanyeol sat at the seat on the end of the table—where his dad usually sat and watched as his mom lit the candles on the cake, smiling at him warmly. Yoora scrambled to turn the lights off again and the whole place was draped in darkness, the candle light being the only thing visible.

The four of them proceeded to sing Happy Birthday and Baekhyun unknowingly sang louder than all of the others, smiling at Chanyeol's expression that he could only slightly see because of the candle's light.

In that moment, he forgot about Baekgyu when Chanyeol closed his eyes, his face looking so happy and relaxed that it tugged at Baekhyun's heart.

The almost-one-month-late birthday boy blew out the candles but two out of 19 of them were left burning, causing Yoora to holler that he had two boyfriends.

"Chanyeol's cheating on Baekgyu!" Yoora yelled and Baekhyun began panicking, his mind racing.

Wait, does Yoora know? Baekhyun wondered, not knowing about the joke that people usually said in regard of candle blowing.

Baekhyun only calmed down after Chanyeol blew out the other two, grumbling that Baekgyu was the only one for him and that Yoora should stop joking.

Baekhyun the lights in Yoora's stead and found Chanyeol looking at him, a smile on his face. Mr. Park suggested that Chanyeol cut the cake so the giant did, taking the cake knife and slicing through it unevenly.

"Are you crying?" Mrs. Park asked gently and Baekhyun nervously laughed.

"Heh, I guess?" He answered unsurely.

She laughed good-naturedly and patted Baekhyun's back fondly. "Look at you, such a good boyfriend for Chanyeol."

Baekhyun blushed and cast his gaze on the ground, only then realizing that he still had his present in his hands.

He quickly handed it to Yoora and she accepted it, with an odd gaze that Baekhyun knew all too well.

Pieces of cake were passed out and Baekhyun looked at it, suddenly feeling a little breathless.

"Looks good, what kind is it?" Baekhyun asked as he cut a small piece off with his fork.

"Almond cherry cake," Mrs. Park answered and Baekhyun paled, looking down at the cake worriedly.

That would explain his eyes' sudden itching, and the feeling that he felt all too much back at home when Baekgyu was still there.

He felt like he was going to faint any second because of the panic that everyone would figure out his random allergy to nuts and, well, because he was allergic to nuts.

It was like karma for whatever Baekhyun had done because why in the world did Chanyeol's favourite cake have to include nuts?

Baekhyun didn't know how long he was standing there until Chanyeol spoke up. "Are you feeling okay?" Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun noticed that he was somehow right in front of him, one of his warm hands on Baekhyun's shoulder.

Baekhyun swallowed thickly, trying not to let Chanyeol see that he was having a hard time breathing.

If this was his reaction to being even close to nuts, how could he even survive if he had to eat some?

"No... I—I'm not feeling too well... Can I go up to the room and rest?" Baekhyun questioned, all while avoiding eye contact.

Chanyeol nodded and took the cake out of Baekhyun's hands, much to his delight.

Baekhyun climbed up the stairs, getting into the giant's room and closing the door, leaning on it while closing his eyes, trying to control his heavy breathing.

He walked over to Chanyeol's bed and fell onto it, hoping that this little episode would go away in a few minutes.

Before, his reaction when he came in contact with nuts was never that bad—even if that wasn't the worse that could happen, Baekhyun had never quite felt like fainting.

He let his thoughts wander to happy things, like his friend Yixing that he hadn't seen in years. The only reason he couldn't see him was because his parents didn't like Baekhyun, they said that he influenced Yixing wrong.

'Influenced' as in, 'made him like another gender'.

But that wasn't even Baekhyun's fault, it was Yixing's decision, not his own.

He pondered when the next time he'd see him would be, and he decided that he should see him soon because he just knew Yixing's dimpled smile would cheer him up.

After laying on Chanyeol's bed for around ten minutes, the door creaked open and the giant walked in slowly, making sure he was quiet in case Baekhyun was sleeping.

"I'm awake, if you're wondering," Baekhyun broke the silence and Chanyeol let out a breath of relief.

"Good, because I was wondering how I'd get you into your pajamas." Chanyeol chuckled as Baekhyun glared at him, his face dusted pink.

Chanyeol sat down at the edge of the bed, watching as Baekhyun sat up to rest his back against the headboard.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't really celebrate with you... I just wasn't feeling great," Baekhyun smiled lightly.

"Oh, that's okay," Chanyeol reassured and that's when Baekhyun realized that he was holding Baekhyun's present in his hands.

Baekhyun wondered what Yoora and his parents had gotten for him, and he felt even worse that he couldn't stay there to see.

"Can I open this?" Chanyeol questioned and Baekhyun laughed, gesturing for him that it was okay to. "It's kind of heavy," he pointed out.

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol's gentle hands attempting to unwrap the present and struggling because of the amount of tape the smaller had put on.

"Just rip it for goodness sake." Baekhyun rolled his eyes when Chanyeol's struggling became unbearable, and with a huff, he did as Baekhyun told him to: ripping the wrapping into shreds that they'd have to clean up later.

He watched Chanyeol's expression when he opened the cardboard box slowly, anticipating what was inside.

Baekhyun didn't even know if Chanyeol would appreciate the present—let alone remember what kind of memories they had with it.

And 'they' as in Baekhyun and Chanyeol this time, not Baekgyu and Chanyeol.

Chanyeol's eyes lit up in recognition, looking the exact same as he did the first time Baekhyun had met him, all those years ago.

"You—" Chanyeol cut himself off with his own amazement and Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol's expression, laughing afterward.

Chanyeol took the three items out of the box, feeling the smooth cover under his fingertips and remembering every curve of the object.

In Chanyeol's hands sat three books, completely new and without a scratch. The curved lines on the simple covers spelled: Something Fake in black letters, adorned with a minimalistic picture depending on which book. The first book had a white background that had drawn Baekhyun in four years ago, including a drawing of a doll sitting on the word 'Something', it's legs hanging off from the side. On the bottom was the name of the author: Huang Zitao, and on the side was the title repeated, a number at the top to show the volume.

After Chanyeol looked at each hardcover book, flipping it open to random pages just to reminisce, he placed them back in the box, staring at Baekhyun carefully.

"You told me you forgot about these books," Chanyeol recalled and Baekhyun froze for about the thousandth time, his mind racing against time to find an answer.

"I did," Baekhyun admitted. "But when I saw them in the library, it all seemed to come back."

"How did it just... Come back?" Chanyeol questioned, suspicious of Baekhyun.

"I remembered when we met in the bookstore, and then the vending machines and everything after that... I just... Happened to forget reading that book for a bit," Baekhyun tried to convince him, but he just looked at him with the same questioning look.

Baekhyun was starting to feel his heartbeat increase, and this time it wasn't because of his allergy to nuts or Chanyeol acting too romantic for his own good.

All Baekhyun knew he had to do was leave before Chanyeol got too suspicious—or perhaps change the subject, but he knew Chanyeol wouldn't stop asking if he stayed there for too long.

"That doesn't make sense," Chanyeol pointed out. "You don't just forget and remember things like that—"

"I'm going to go to the washroom," Baekhyun cut in and he stood up, taking careful steps to make it seem like he wasn't rushing.

"Baekgyu," Chanyeol called and he stood up as well, setting his present on the bedside table.

Baekhyun shut his eyes in frustration, wishing that Chanyeol forgot that Baekgyu had ever told him that he forgot about the book.

People said: the past is in the past, forget about it—but how could they when everything was coming back to make things difficult? Obviously, Chanyeol was not ready to let go of the past he had with Baekgyu and always asked questions.

Baekhyun was just about to make it out of the door before Chanyeol stopped him with a hand on his wrist, surprising the smaller.

Chanyeol—almost harshly—pulled Baekhyun back inside so that he was facing Chanyeol.

Chanyeol closed the door before refocusing his attention onto Baekhyun, staring at him long and hard. They stood there for drawn out periods as Chanyeol's icy stare morphed into one where he was searching—searching for something in Baekhyun's eyes.

"Baek," Chanyeol began as his grip on Baekhyun's wrist tightened in the slightest bit. "Are you okay?"

"I—I'm fine, you can let go—"

"You're different," Chanyeol cut him off and Baekhyun felt his blood go cold. "You're not... You're not acting the same."

Baekhyun tried to swallow the lump in his throat and speak, but evidently he couldn't because he didn't know what to say.

"Your silence just proves it..." Chanyeol trailed off as the Baekhyun's palms started feeling clammy, even with the cold feeling inside that never seemed to go away.

"I... I'm..." Baekhyun tried to think of anything that he could say, anything that could bring him out of this situation. He felt overwhelmed, and he suddenly felt something clenching his heart, like it was telling him that it was all over, and that he was now exposed.

"Is it... Me?" Chanyeol asked as his eyes now showed the same expressions as the first time Baekhyun saw him this year; unhappy, desperate, pleading. "Baekgyu, please tell me..."

Baekhyun didn't know what to do, and so he just spat out the only words he knew how to say in these types of situations. "I'm sorry..."

Those words only seemed to flare an anger inside of Chanyeol, and his hold on Baekhyun's wrist now hurt.

"You're not you, Baek! What happened? What's wrong? I'm... I'm so angry at myself for not knowing what's wrong with you!"

Baekhyun felt like he was shrinking under his gaze, and he wished to just crawl into a cave where he could hide.

Chanyeol's words really stung Baekhyun... Because he knew...

What happened?

What's wrong with you?

You're not you.

Because he knew that—it's true, Baekhyun thought miserably. I'm not me.

Will I ever be just me?

It was in that moment that the reality of what type of situation he had been put in finally sunk in, and it hurt.

He was lying to everyone around him—everyone that he had grown to really like and love as friends in the short months he'd been at the University.

Friends?

Did he even have friends?

How could he be friends with anyone when no one knew who he was?

How could anyone know him, when he barely even knew himself?

All people knew of him was that he was Byun Baekgyu, that one guy in class who had good grades and acted suspicious half of the time. He had no talents or anything unique to himself, and supposedly he didn't have a twin either.

It hurt a lot... Being Baekgyu hurts a lot...

And he just didn't have anyone there for him.

"Please stop," Chanyeol begged. "Please stop making me ask questions about you and about our relationship... It hurts."

No, Chanyeol didn't know what hurting truly felt like.

Hurting, was being afraid of your mere existence being wiped off this planet; hurting was having the cold grip of fear at your neck—fear of being exposed, fear of being forgotten, fear of being hated by someone you loved, fear of being afraid.

The guy in front of him—the one who could somehow place a smile on his face even in his darkest times... Even he didn't know who Baekhyun was.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun said once more, and then he cried.

He broke down, falling even if Chanyeol's hands scrambled to hold him up.

He cried out everything he had felt in those past four months, not caring anymore if he wasn't acting like Baekgyu, if Chanyeol was extremely worried, or even if the others in the house could hear him.

It didn't matter how loud he was being because everything inside of him was begging to be let out, and he felt like he'd be broken from the inside out if he didn't free it.

Yes, this was what hurting felt like, a sharp pain that stays with you every moment of your life, intensifying with every breath you take—as if it was telling you that you're just a waste of space, that air shouldn't even be used on someone such as you.

Baekhyun felt as if he was alone in the world, fighting an impossible war with swords made of wood and shields made of paper;

helpless.

Chk chk boom

Hiya, did I break your hearts or did I just fail miserably?

Anywayssss, what do you think will happen? Will Baekhyun just continue lying or is he finally going to come clean?

Oh and you people in the comments, you have a choice if you want me to update tomorrow or a few days later... I already have chapters ready to be published (like I said before) but I don't want to just dump it all on you guys... So yeah, tell meeee!