Did the font change or am I tripping???

Anyways, YEAH, I'M BACK!!! I found this person on Wattpad called Parkbaconnie DUN TRUST THEM IT AIN'T ME! (But they probs didn't even know I exist haha...)

Just telling y'all that the only place I have an account with the username parkbaconnie is on AFF and Insta :) otherwise...

Hey... This chapter is 6k words just for you.

I SUGGEST THAT YOU READ THE LAST PARTS OF THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER TO JUST GET A VIEW ON WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

I'm an idiot, Baekhyun thought as he stepped out of the shower, looking at himself through the steam covered mirror. He wiped away the condensation just enough so that he could see his face, leaning in and inspecting his injuries he had gotten yesterday.

He lightly traced the cut on his cheek and vaguely wondered if it was going to be a scar that he'd have to live with. It had been a day since Chanyeol figured out and a day since Baekgyu and him had gotten into a fight, leaving him all those countless hours to think back on what had happened in the room separated by a door. He wasn't sad or anything—his super puffy eyes weren't because he was crying in the shower, it was because he got soap in his eyes (at least, that was what Baekhyun was trying to tell himself).

He dried himself off and wore some temporary clothes, putting a band-aid on his cheek and applying some ointment onto his cut lip. He stared at himself in the mirror and wondered how he was ever going to pull it off with these injuries, but he shook his head and continued with his task to look as much like Baekgyu as he could.

He kept walking out the room to look at Baekgyu's sleeping face before going back into the washroom and adding little touches here and there; making his eyebrows darker, his eyelashes look a little longer, and his lips a little less pink than his own.

He covered up the little mole at the top of his mouth with concealer and looked over his appearance, hoping that Chanyeol would accept his excuse that he got into a fight with 'Baekhyun' and got the injuries on his face.

Yesterday, he had decided to let the plan play out after he had gotten some sleep (and hopefully after Chanyeol had gotten some sleep) so that he wasn't just throwing himself into a lion's den without a clue what to do.

His plan wasn't all that complicated, all he had to do was find Chanyeol, and let things unfold. He'd say things that only Baekgyu would say, and hopefully, he'd get somewhere with Chanyeol. He had some ideas of what he should say, but for the moment he decided to just let the flow carry him.

Once Baekhyun was satisfied with his Baekgyu-like appearance, he went over to his closet and picked out clothes ever-so-carefully, making sure that it was things that Chanyeol had never seen him wear—which, to be more precise, were the clothes he shoved into the back of his closet.

He checked the current clothes Baekgyu had on and pulled on a loose fitting T-Shirt, pairing it with yet another loose fitting dark blue jeans.

He grabbed his phone and put on Baekgyu's shoes, making sure to somehow stuff the shoes so that they would actually fit.

He turned back around to look at his bedroom door one more time, telling himself that he still had a choice to back down and just forget about it all. But then again, even if Baekgyu had told him to come back, he wouldn't have stopped.

Baekhyun opened his door and began the official search of Park Chanyeol, starting by calling Sehun.

"Hey Byun," Sehun greeted, and Baekhyun asked a question that he was sure he'd be asking multiple times that day.

"Do you know where Chanyeol is?"

Sehun told him that he had no idea, and after that, Baekhyun had continued by phoning everybody he knew, making sure not to leave out any contacts in his phone—unless it was someone like Yixing or his parents.

Once he had gotten through all of his contacts, he sighed but didn't lose determination to find Chanyeol. He was lucky that he didn't have classes until around 9PM, which gave him more than half a day to do this.

Baekhyun walked through the university hallways, making sure that he checked each and every single place that Chanyeol had even a 2% chance of being in.

He combed through the health and sciences building, and when he didn't have any leads or clues, he felt himself starting to get dejected.

It took more than half an hour to go through the entire building, and Baekhyun sat down in the on-campus café after ordering something to drink. He was already tired, and he felt like giving up but he knew that Chanyeol wouldn't come back to the dorm too soon, and if he waited too long, it would all fail.

He leaned his chin onto his palm, supporting his head as he unintentionally sulked, his other hand folding a napkin repeatedly. Just sitting there reminded him of Chanyeol, and he realized that he missed him... A lot.

It was just like when Chanyeol didn't come home, except worse because... Because now, Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol definitely wasn't his.

There was a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach when he thought of that, and things started turning gloomier than before. The familiar urge to cry was catching up to him again and he in a deep breath, holding them back.

If Baekhyun saw Chanyeol now, he'd have to resist every urge to just jump into his arms and stay there forever—although he was pretty sure he'd be pushed away in the next second.

Baekhyun then thought about the logical things he'd do when he saw Chanyeol, and that included acting like Baekgyu and making things up on spot. The idea he had in his plan was pretty crazy and something that no one else would ever do - but he felt the need to.

It was true, just because Baekgyu had an illness did not mean that he was the victim, but Baekhyun couldn't help but feel that he took away his twin's happiness and tried to keep it to himself. He felt like such a cruel person, and that was the one thing he didn't want to grow up to be.

His drink was placed in front of him and he barely even realized it, his eyes glassed over as he thought about everything that he could've done right, instead of what he had actually done.

Maybe, he could've just run away the second he heard someone calling his name all those months ago. Maybe, he could've never agreed and pretended that he could only speak French. Maybe, he could've listened to Baekgyu when he told him to stay away. Maybe, he should have listened to his own warning—

Baekhyun's phone vibrated in his pocket and he flinched out of his thoughts, blinking twice as he realized that he had zoned out for a couple of minutes and shaking his head as he reached for his phone. He pulled it out and opened his messages, seeing a message from Sehun.

From: Seahoon

I know where Chanyeol is.

Baekhyun felt excitement grow in him when he read Sehun's message, and he immediately demanded for answers.

Baekhyun:

Really? Where is he?

From: Seahoon

He's with Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun's fingers stopped mid-way while typing 'thanks', wondering why Chanyeol was with Kyungsoo of all people.

He's not cheating... Is he?

Baekhyun shook his head at his preposterous thoughts, reminding himself that Chanyeol had every right to find someone to confide in.

Baekhyun:

Are they at his dorm?

When Sehun answered positive, Baekhyun stood up, completely dismissing his drink as he left the shop while stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

He almost ran to Kyungsoo's dorm building, trying his best not to trip on the way. Once he pushed open the doors, he tried to catch his breath as he speed-walked to the elevators. He stepped inside of the first available one, clicking the 'close door' multiple times.

Just as they were about to close, a hand slipped in between the two barriers and forced them back open again, a figure swiftly stepping inside.

Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows, turning to the new person inside the elevator before his eyes widened.

"Jongin?!" He exclaimed, and the other turned to him, his face confused until he noticed who it was too.

"Baekhyun!"

Baekhyun was about to have a heart attack when he heard Jongin say that, until he remembered that the other had somehow figured out about the twin's swap. Baekhyun placed a note inside of his head to ask Jongin about how he found out later.

"Why are you here?" Baekhyun asked, deciding to ask the important things first.

"I'm here to see Kyungsoo, duh," he replied shortly, but Baekhyun felt as if there was more to what he was saying.

"And?"

Jongin bit his lip, and Baekhyun felt kind of glad that Jongin was acting like this because of Kyungsoo. He didn't tell anyone, but he really liked Kyungsoo and Jongin together, they fit together perfectly.

"...And I'm here to stop him from making the wrong decision," he explained, and Baekhyun felt as if he didn't even receive an answer, it only confused him more.

Seeing Baekhyun's questioning face, Jongin sighed. "Kyungsoo he... He likes Chanyeol."

"Tell me something I don't know," Baekhyun replied solemnly, and the elevator doors opened with a ding. The two of them stepped out and Baekhyun walked with slower steps this time, wanting to know more about what was happening between Jongin and Kyungsoo.

"Well, here's something you don't know..." He trailed off, as if unsure whether to tell Baekhyun or not, "Kyungsoo's going to try and kiss Chanyeol."

"What?!" Baekhyun exclaimed before he quickly clamped a hand onto his mouth, as if it would stop him from another sudden outburst. He took his hand away slightly only to hiss multiple tones quieter: "He's going to what? "

Jongin sighed again, and Baekhyun noticed how he seemed to care a lot more about Kyungsoo than before. It made him really happy that their relationship had somewhat grown from the last time he'd seen them.

"He told me that he was going to kiss Chanyeol, just to see what it feels like," before Baekhyun could cut in, Jongin continued, "Because you see—he also told me that he's liked Chanyeol for 3 years."

Baekhyun's eyes widened at this information, and he felt as if more pieces were forming inside of his head. That information would explain why Baekhyun always got a weird vibe around Kyungsoo.

"So when Baekgyu started dating Chanyeol, he hated his guts..."

Baekhyun almost gaped as he realized that Baekgyu probably knew that Kyungsoo hated him, which would also explain why Baekgyu said that he had no actual friends.

"But... But why would he try it now? After all this time?" Baekhyun questioned carefully and Jongin shook his head.

"Because he decided that this was the perfect chance. When Baekgyu went to Tokyo, he planned to stay loyal and keep away... But then he found out that you were Baekhyun, because Baekgyu told him that he was staying back in Tokyo for one more year—and when you suddenly appeared out of nowhere, he connected the pieces," Jongin stated, and Baekhyun worried his lip.

He couldn't believe that Kyungsoo had known this entire time... He thought back to all the times Kyungsoo called him Baekgyu and he always thought it was weird but brushed it off as some friendship thing.

"He deducted that Baekgyu didn't even care for Chanyeol at all, considering the fact that he had someone else stand in for him so he took things into his own hands," Jongin finished and Baekhyun nodded.

"Wait, how did you find out about all of this again?" Baekhyun questioned, and Jongin laughed.

"Over a few beers multiple months ago. That was also how I found about you too, if you were wondering... Then yesterday he told me about his plan since he didn't have any more secrets."

Baekhyun stopped in front of a door that had a number he recognized, and he pulled back Jongin's sleeve to stop him. "Isn't this his room? 312?"

Jongin's face showed recognition and he nodded, placing a hand on the doorknob and giving it a twist, surprising both of them.

He pushed open the door and it swung silently inside, hitting the door stopper with an almost inaudible clank.

They gave each other stares and mutually walked inside without a noise, hearing voices coming from deeper inside the dorm.

Jongin had already assumed that Baekhyun was here for Chanyeol, because he wasn't an idiot. He had seen the ways that the two looked at each other, and sometimes he wondered if Baekhyun was really someone who had just met Chanyeol half a year ago. The look in his eyes told him that there was something so much more than the little plot he had planned with his twin, and Jongin always wanted to give their relationship a little push to see where it was going to go.

Of course, he knew he'd be overstepping his boundaries so he always just acted weirdly around Baekhyun to see how he'd react.

The two passed by Kyungsoo's stylish living room, and Baekhyun recognized the fancy lighting system that he had. Kyungsoo's dorm was a lot more expensive than his own, so it came with better heating, lighting, and even a small kitchen. The last time he had been here was around two months ago.

They made their way to where the voices were coming from, and they peeked around the corner into the kitchen.

"Do you really love Baekgyu?" Kyungsoo asked, and Baekhyun winced.

They had come just in time for the juicy bits.

Chanyeol turned around from his cutting board, and Baekhyun felt something clench in his heart from how domestic Chanyeol looked at that moment, clad in an apron and casual clothes. Jealousy struck in his heart and he scowled, realizing that Chanyeol was cooking for none other than Kyungsoo.

Jongin patted Baekhyun's shoulder as if he understood what he was going through, but Baekhyun doubted it.

Chanyeol just stared at Kyungsoo for a long time, as if wondering what he should answer with. Baekhyun's heart hurt just from how long it took Chanyeol to answer, because he knew that Chanyeol was thinking about none other than him. On any other occasion, butterflies would be swarming Baekhyun's stomach if he knew Chanyeol was thinking about him, but now, he knew Chanyeol wasn't thinking about nice things.

"Yes," Chanyeol answered after a while, and turned back around to cut the carrots that were laying stationary on the board.

Kyungsoo didn't say anything after that, and they just basked in silence as the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board resonated through the dorm. Each sound only made Baekhyun sadder as he wondered what Chanyeol was thinking about now.

Baekgyu? Baekhyun? Kyungsoo?

Was he thinking about how Baekhyun and Baekgyu had betrayed him?

Baekhyun could only wonder as Chanyeol made his way over to the stove, a bowl in hand.

"Chanyeol," Kyungsoo called again, "Can you stop cooking for a bit? I want to try something."

Chanyeol gave Kyungsoo a confused look before putting the stuff down, washing his hands and drying it on a towel. He even untied the apron he had on and threw it onto Kyungsoo's face. The shorter pulled the apron off of his face, scowling.

"You didn't need to do that," Kyungsoo said before a small smile grew on his face, and the cheeky grin Chanyeol gave Kyungsoo only caused Baekhyun's heart to ache even more.

"I thought you wanted to cook, that's why," Chanyeol explained.

Kyungsoo shook his head, "Come over here," Kyungsoo gestured from his spot on the table. Chanyeol complied and walked closer, Baekhyun watching how Kyungsoo reached out his hands to grab Chanyeol's arms.

He felt so captivated on the moment that he didn't even know what to think. Knowing that Kyungsoo was going to kiss Chanyeol just made him all that more stiff as he watched the two of them stare at each other deeply in the eyes, saying nothing for a while.

"Chanyeol... I—"

Jongin took that as his cue and the tanned male entered the scene in front of Baekhyun, grabbing Kyungsoo's arm and shocking the doe-eyed boy as Jongin took the offending hand off of Chanyeol.

"You shouldn't," Jongin said with quiet words, but it could be heard from the silence in the dorm.

"J—Jongin?" Kyungsoo stuttered, wondering why his boyfriend was here when he was about to kiss someone else.

Baekhyun's gaze flicked to Chanyeol's face, and he gulped. He could just leave right now, and come back some other time when he was actually mentally prepared. He didn't know if he could talk to Chanyeol without freaking out.

But just seeing Chanyeol's face reminded him of what Chanyeol had called him and the words he had said yesterday, and he knew that this couldn't wait. He took in a deep breath and summoned all of his courage, trying to somehow calm down even when his heart felt like it was shoved in his throat.

Here goes nothing. 

When Baekhyun stepped out from behind the corner, all eyes landed on him as if he was an unidentified species from space. Even Jongin seemed surprised that Baekhyun had stepped out.

Chanyeol's eyes narrowed, and Baekhyun didn't know if he should be glad that he knew what Chanyeol was thinking about at that moment.

He was wondering which one Baekhyun was—was he Baekgyu? Or Baekhyun?

...If Baekhyun wanted this to work, Chanyeol had to think that he was Baekgyu.

"Baekgyu," Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun smirked.

In other situations, he'd be freaking out and almost at the verge of screaming, but he couldn't now.

All the acting—all the suffering that he'd gone through this past 6 months, it was for now. He needed to be perfect.

Nobody should be able to tell the difference.

"Miss me?" Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo began looking confused.

Good.

Baekhyun put one of his hands in his pockets (one of Baekgyu's habits that he had picked up on) and strolled into the place like he owned it.

Kyungsoo blinked as if he was seeing stars and Chanyeol still looked as if he was analyzing who he was, which only made the importance of Baekhyun's acting that much greater.

"Jongin invited me over, isn't that right?" Baekhyun questioned, looking over at his friend.

Jongin nodded shortly, a little in awe because of Baekhyun's weird personality change. But again, he wasn't an idiot, so he just went along with whatever Baekhyun was planning—or was it Baekgyu? Even Jongin couldn't really tell because of the stark contrast of the Baekhyun he knew and this completely different person.

"You're back from Tokyo?" Kyungsoo asked, almost as if he was afraid. It threw Baekhyun off that he just asked that question, because as far as Kyungsoo knew, Chanyeol didn't know that the person he was with for the past months wasn't Baekgyu.

It surprised Baekhyun how quickly Kyungsoo just spilled the secret, and he wondered how Baekgyu had ever even let Kyungsoo come close. To cover up his few seconds of silence, Baekhyun let out a much too conceited laugh.

"I came back yesterday. To be honest, I was expecting you at the airport but I didn't see you... You didn't get my text?" Baekhyun raised an eyebrow and he mentally cheered when Kyungsoo completely believed it.

"N—No, I don't think it got through..."

"Ah, a shame," Baekhyun shook his head as if he were disappointed, before he appointed his gaze to Jongin. "I need to speak to Chanyeol, privately."

Jongin understood and he dragged Kyungsoo out of the room, as confused as anybody else. When Baekhyun heard the dorm room close he resisted the urge to gulp because of his nervousness. Any wrong move could send him into Chanyeol's suspicion, and that's where he least wanted to be.

He turned to Chanyeol and he repeated words to himself that he believed would help him think like Baekgyu. Most of them included phrases that ranged from: 'I am an over-confident 5-star model' —to—'I own the world'.

"I'll just cut to the point," Baekhyun began, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Chanyeol showed no reaction, and Baekhyun really, really just wanted to run into his arms—so much that he almost took a step but stopped himself last second.

But that wasn't what was important at the moment. The thing that was important was to calm down his heart beat, and stop being so nervous. If Chanyeol decided to hold his hands for some unknown reason, he'd feel Baekhyun's clammy skin and definitely find out something was off.

Baekhyun didn't know what to say after that. He expected Chanyeol to reply with something, but now that he hadn't, he had to come up with something on spot.

The seconds were ticking, and every second that went by just added onto Chanyeol's suspicious gaze. It was like Chanyeol had turned into Yoora, because he recognized the expression that his sister wore for the entirety of the trip he had with Chanyeol.

"It's all Baekhyun's fault," Baekhyun blurted out, and he didn't know if he regretted saying those words or not.

His brain came up with the most Baekgyu-like thing to say—and look at that, it was to blame everything on Baekhyun.

Baekhyun felt weird talking in 3rd person, but what could he do? He didn't really have a choice anymore so he just thought: it, and decided to push all the blame onto himself.

"Baekhyun asked to stay with you for a year and I don't know if I was in my right mind when I said yes..." Baekhyun trailed off unsurely, and he prayed to god that he wouldn't slip up and accidentally say 'Baekgyu' because how weird would that be if someone was just normally talking in 3rd person? "After around two months, I asked Baekhyun to stop—I really did, but he didn't listen. He insisted that it was going to be fine, that nobody would figure out and he'd get away with it..."

Baekhyun laughed as he tried to move naturally and not stand stock-still, walking over to the kitchen counter and picking up one of the apples from the fruit basket.

Is eating an apple mid-talk something Baekgyu would do? Baekhyun wondered as he tossed an apple absentmindedly in the air. Yes.

And so he continued his act by taking a small bite of the apple, making sure that he didn't take a big bite and choke on it or something of the like.

Honestly, any move could send him to his death right now—but anything that he didn't do could also send him to his approaching misery.

"I think... I think Baekhyun actually fell in love with you, did you know that?" Baekhyun questioned Chanyeol, and he tried his best to hide the hurt behind his eyes. He didn't really know how to, considering he didn't have a mirror in front of him, but he tried his best. "He was brave enough to fall in love with you—who, might I add, is taken. On the inside, he even wished that I hadn't come back from Tokyo. He felt as if a year was too short even if he had only spent 6 months with you."

Baekhyun didn't know if he was just talking indirectly to Chanyeol now, but it sure felt like it. He was telling Chanyeol things that he never had the chance to, but he added a little twist to it and made the words sound hateful and completely the opposite of what he'd actually say.

"And right now, god, he misses you right now and it hasn't even been a full day. This morning he had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to hold your hand, hug you, see your smile, hear your voice, and spend just a little more time with you—which is why I came to see you. I had to fix things before it all got out of hand and Baekhyun did something that he would regret in the future." Baekhyun's voice wavered at the ending and he regretted picking up the apple because now if just felt like a ten-pound weight pulling him down. In fact, everything did.

His own words hurt him, but he just continued anyways.

"The worst part of it is, Baekhyun doesn't even fully regret spending all this time with you. He didn't regret seeing you every day, or hearing your dumb jokes and seeing you fool around with childish objects—"

I don't regret it at all, I want it to happen again, and again, and again, and again until I grow old.

"—and I think that he's such an idiot. He got delusional; he began thinking that the past that we shared was actually the past that he shared with you. That isn't true, because it wasn't Baekhyun who met you at the bookstore, or the vending machine, or the party house—or even the sunflower field..." Baekhyun didn't know if he could continue without feeling tears surface in his eyes. "That summer... It was all me." Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol with desperate eyes that didn't even match his words.

Nothing was said after that, and Baekhyun's grip on the apple was beginning to turn violent.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Baekhyun asked in a voice only a little above a whisper, his body on the verge of shaking because of all the feelings that were coursing through him. "Why don't you ever say anything?"

Chanyeol was looking at him so indifferently and nonchalantly that Baekhyun wanted to punch him straight in the face.

Here he was, feelings things that made his head spin, but Chanyeol didn't even have it in him to answer.

Baekhyun began realizing that Baekgyu and Chanyeol were actually alike in ways that he hadn't noticed before, like now, how they both just didn't care.

Maybe Chanyeol was just faking to care about Baekgyu this entire time, and now that he found out he had been lied to, he just didn't bother to even show emotion anymore.

"You didn't say anything when you found out that I cheated on you, you didn't say anything when Baekhyun acted all suspicious, you never spoke up, what's wrong with you?"

Baekhyun was just mad.

He was just furious because of everything that went wrong. Everything that could've been right had turned so wrong.

It made him want to scream when he thought back all those years ago, if he had just told Chanyeol his damn name when they met during the summer, none of this would have happened.

Baekhyun could be with someone he considered the love of his life, and everything wouldn't be so ty.

Funny how such a small detail could change someone's life that intensely.

"What happened to your face?" Was what Chanyeol said after multiple minutes of silence.

For s sake, Baekhyun thought bitterly, This is the only thing he could say after all this time.

"I got into a fight with Baekhyun," he explained, putting the apple down in fear that he'd end up throwing it at Chanyeol if he got too angry.

"Is that the only injury you have?" Chanyeol questioned, and Baekhyun couldn't tell if he was worrying for him, or wishing that he had more.

"Why does it matter to you?" Baekhyun replied with a scowl on his face. He had never quite felt this angry, because he was trying so hard to help Chanyeol and Baekgyu's relationship, but the taller was literally doing nothing. He was all shrugs and words that had no meaning whatsoever.

"And what's that band-aid on your hand?" Chanyeol pointed to the object in question and Baekhyun unconsciously tightened his hand as if to hide it.

You did that.

"It's nothing."

It was absolute silence after that, so quiet that Baekhyun thought the entire world had shut down for a moment. The only thing that told him that time wasn't frozen was the slight movement of Chanyeol's chest moving up and down. It was kind of reassuring—the fact that Chanyeol was actually alive and breathing. He seemed almost like a figment of Baekhyun's imagination; so perfect, so beautiful, but so broken at the same time. He seemed exactly like something that could come out of Baekhyun's wildest dreams and his worst nightmares all at the same time, and to be frank, it scared him.

"It's all pointless," Chanyeol stated, and all of a sudden the world was running again, and Baekhyun was ripped out of the thoughts he feared would one day consume him. "Your words, they don't mean anything to me."

Baekhyun connected his gaze with Chanyeol's and he almost looked away because of the intensity that Chanyeol held in them. It seemed as if he was facing the most challenging thing he'd ever have to, almost as if one was asked to choose between the lives of their wife or daughter; husband or son.

"Does it all really matter now?" Chanyeol asked, and Baekhyun couldn't seem to catch on to what he was saying. "Does it matter that it's all Baekhyun's fault? Does it matter that everything's changed because of you? Does it matter that I still love you even after what you did to me?"

Now it was Baekhyun's turn to keep silent.

He had no idea what to say—it wasn't even because he was supposed to be acting like Baekgyu, but because he was truly contemplating Chanyeol's words.

He was right—did any of this even matter?

Love was just a word that was created by someone who got to name it first; love was just a feeling that got cast aside for things like greed and pride—the word gets misused and the feelings are always confused with others.

Did anyone even know what love truly felt like?

How did the creator of this word decide that it wasn't simply just affection or infatuation, that it was something deeper, something more than what was on the surface?

How did they look at someone and think this isn't only affection, it's something else—to be able to even name it, Baekhyun did not know.

Love didn't have a true definition. It wasn't your heart thumping in your chest, your thoughts just before you go to sleep or the smiles that appear on your face when you're alone.

It's something so much more.

The simplest that Baekhyun could describe love to be was when you get that feeling in your chest, the one that tells you that this is it—it's the crescendo of all the years you'll live, it's the thought that there's nothing that could surpass what you feel, it's the sense that you could never fall any deeper.

Baekhyun didn't know how to exactly describe it, but when looking at the man in front of him, he couldn't help but feel that Chanyeol was everything undefined.

He was exactly like love, a mystery to everyone who crosses its path, a wish that would be sent to the stars on a Christmas day and a single snowflake that glinted with the colours of the rainbow.

"All that matters to me is if you love me," Chanyeol's voice was no more than a whisper, and Baekhyun felt an overwhelming urge to get out of there.

He was getting into dangerous territory that he swore he wouldn't ever step into again.

He reminded himself what he was there for, and he closed his eyes.

I'm Baekgyu, he repeated to himself.

"Of course," Baekhyun began as he opened his eyes again. "Of course I love you."

Chanyeol's gaze unexpectedly hardened when the last word slipped out of his mouth and Baekhyun feared the look in his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," Chanyeol hissed, and Baekhyun was taken aback. "Do you think I wouldn't notice?"

Chanyeol's voice was dripping with venom, and Baekhyun wondered where he had slipped up.

Chanyeol laughed while running a hand through his hair in distress, his voice in the same tone that he'd heard it in before. "Even after being caught, you think it's okay to do it again?"

"Chanyeol I—"

"You thought I wouldn't notice every single detail that I had the misery of falling in love with twice?" Chanyeol shook his head in incredulity as he continued, "You blink twice when you're nervous, your hands form into tight fists when you're mad, you're probably the only one who thinks it's normal to eat an apple in between talking—and the look in your eyes, god, I know that one by heart."

Baekhyun opened and closed his mouth repeatedly because he was absolutely speechless. He hadn't even realized he was doing everything that Chanyeol was pointing out, and he questioned why Chanyeol had to be so observant.

But maybe he wasn't just weirdly observant, and maybe it was only because he was watching the person he loved.

"And don't think that I didn't realize that you're using my shampoo again, it was a dead giveaway from the beginning."

.

That was one thing he couldn't get away with using a terrible excuse.

Baekhyun realized that he had created a habit of using Chanyeol's shampoo without even noticing it, and when he thought back, he remembered that he hadn't used his shampoo in more than two months. Chanyeol had probably recognized it's sweet scent when Baekhyun had walked past him to get to the apple that he was stupid enough to pick up.

He was such an idiot.

But his idiocy wasn't what was important, at the moment he could only focus on what was in front of him.

"I wasn't asking if Baekgyu loved me, I was asking if you loved me," Chanyeol repeated in clear words, and Baekhyun's mind seemed incapable of forming an answer. "I'm asking if you love me, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun gulped and he looked away from Chanyeol's gaze.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

"This," Chanyeol started and approached Baekhyun, reaching his hand up and ruffling the hair the smaller had so desperately styled to look like Baekgyu, "This doesn't matter right now."

Chanyeol was so close, and Baekhyun could just imagine how warm it would feel like to be in those arms, how safe he'd feel and how amazing the world would appear.

"Baekhyun."

But he could also feel what would happen after.

Guilt, regret, grief... Those were only some of the feelings he'd feel.

"Look at me..."

Baekhyun didn't dare to look at Chanyeol. He was afraid that if he did, everything would crumble to pieces and he'd betray the person he'd grown up with. He'd also betray himself and be someone that he didn't want to be.

Chanyeol turned Baekhyun's head with one of his fingers and when Baekhyun was finally at least facing him, he cupped the smaller's face.

"Look at me and tell me that you love me."

It dawned on Baekhyun that Chanyeol had earlier said that he still loved him even after what he had done to him. At first, Baekhyun thought he meant Baekgyu—but the taller had revealed that he had known it was Baekhyun from the start which would only mean...

Baekhyun's eyes betrayed him and he now found himself yet again caught in the deep brown that was Chanyeol's eyes.

The words that Chanyeol had asked him reminded him of when Chanyeol had asked the same at his home, in the small confines of his room with the feeling of winter surrounding them.

The words had been important then, but now, it was something way bigger than that.

Baekhyun's answers would decide their future, whether it be filled with even more pain, or filled with unicorns and happiness.

"I..." Baekhyun trailed off.

He never expected, 6 months ago, that he'd have to be in this situation now.

He never expected to be facing Chanyeol as himself, after being asked an impossible question.

How was he supposed to answer?

The thought that Chanyeol had said that he loved him was there in his mind, but another part of him said that he had really meant Baekgyu, and that this wasn't Baekhyun's place to be standing.

Chanyeol's arms suddenly wrapped around Baekhyun and the smaller closed his eyes.

"Just say it once," Chanyeol spoke, his face buried in Baekhyun's hair, "Just once."

"Ch—Chanyeol..."

Baekhyun felt tears rise up in his eyes as he shook his head weakly, feeling Chanyeol's hold around him tighten.

This isn't right.

You don't want this.

He was about to betray multiple things all at once. He didn't know if he was going to be filled with guilt or remorse, but he prayed that it wouldn't hurt in at least 5 years.

He swallowed his feelings and placed his weak hands on Chanyeol's chest, giving him a harsh push that had barely managed to make him take one step back.

With tears on the brink of falling and a voice so frail, Baekhyun whispered: "Baekgyu loves you."

He didn't mean to look at Chanyeol's face—he knew that it would be filled with hurt and that was the last thing he wanted—but he had briefly caught a glimpse of it before he turned and ran.

Guys I am so so so so so sorry for not updating sooner! I'm such a terrible person *jumps off bridge* I feel like I ruined everything by not updating sooner, but I don't know... I've been having problems with my writing earlier. I kind of feel like... quitting for some time... but I can't because I have fans on here and on another site, so it's hard to quit :) 

I'll update the next chapter ASAP.

Thank you for waiting.

I love you.

-PB