The next morning, you felt better and you gathered every bit of your courage to go to school. Despite the fact that you’ll see L at school and you’re planning to avoid him as best as you can.

You entered the class and you eyed the entire class, looking for an empty seat but the luck was not on your side, there’s no more empty seat beside your usual chair and behind your seat and your homeroom teacher clearly announced to the class that the chair behind your seat is not allowed because he dislikes student who wanted to seat at the very back of the class.

You heaved out a sigh and approached your chair. L was there already. He stared at you but you just ducked your head down. The class began whispering and murmuring because you usually will greet L happily and the class amused with you because since L came, you became more lively and smile more often around him but today you began to became the old you, the cold distant Song ~~~.

“Still angry?” L asked you.

‘You mean guilty. Babo.’ You thought.

“I’m not babo, and you don’t have to feel guilty.” L said. Your eyes went wide.

“Did I just say what I thought out loud?” He nodded and giggled. You scoffed at him and lowered your head down to the table and ignored him.

He groaned out loud. “Come on! I’ve told you thousand times. It’s the past. You’re torturing me. Did you forget what you told me last night?” He lowered his voice down so the other students won’t hear.

“Which one?” You asked him without even bothered lift your head up.

“The one that you liked me.” You could hear L was smirking as he said that. You lifted your head up and glared at him and ready to threw a punch to him but you held back.

“. I told you too, I couldn’t. It’s wrong! Can’t you understand?” You groaned in frustration. You didn’t get any sleep last night since your mind was busy thinking over L’s words over and over again.

“No. I can’t understand. Can’t you see, you’re torturing me? I love you, Song ~~~. It’s the past. Please.” L pleaded you. You stared his eyes. His voice just now was sounded like he was on the verge of tears and as you stared into his eyes; you reckoned that he got two dark eye bags below his eyes.

“It’s wrong, L.” You stated shortly and you left your seat. You decided to skip school and headed to anywhere but school so that you won’t have to see L’s face and hearing his pleading over again and again. You reached the bus stop and soon the bus came and you headed inside and you chose the single seat and stared the view through the glass window.

Unknowingly, you’re getting near to the graveyard. You had no idea how you ended up here. You let out a big sigh as you got out from the bus. You saw a flower shop, you stopped by and bought some flowers and headed to the graveyard.

You walked the path you have memorized since you practically came here almost every day during two months you’re gone from the society. You saw the tombstone with Minyoung’s name carved on it and a photo of her. She looked happy in that photo.

You brushed the dust off the tombstone and place the flowers in front of the tombstone and you sat down on the grass. You smiled bitterly. “Hey, Minyoung. I missed you. I’m sorry.” Those words were the only words that could come out from your mouth before tears were streaming down on your cheeks.

“The moment I’m about to let you go and to move on and stopped myself from blaming myself, suddenly L told me everything and turned out he’s your boyfriend. Babo, you should’ve told me earlier! Now, I couldn’t stop blaming myself for what happened to you and gosh this guilty my soul so bad. I think I like L… I’m such a bad friend, huh?” You kept mumbling as you stared at Minyoung’s photo.

One side of you told your mind that it’s okay for you to love L, since Minyoung passed away and it’s the past. And clearly, it’s not entirely your fault that she passed away. You knew that well. But the other side of you told your mind that it’s wrong to love L. He was your best friend’s boyfriend.

You just sat there in silent, staring at Minyoung’s photo. Thinking what you should do, whether you should ignore L and avoid him or told L that you love him too. But you couldn’t help it, the guilt was too big for you to take. It has overtaken your heart and your mind.

“I’m sorry, L. But I can’t bear it being with you while this guilty overtook me.” You wiped the tears on your cheek as you left the graveyard.

You were walking down the street toward your home after you got out from the bus, returned from the graveyard. You saw someone sitting on the doorstep.

“L?” You approached him.

“God! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Are you alright? Are you harmed? What happened?” L bombarded you with tons of questions.

You smiled bitterly. “Don’t worry about me, anymore. Leave, L.” You stated shortly with a cold tone. L was taken aback by your tone. You were about to turn the doorknob and got inside but L caught your wrist.

“No. I’ll keep worried about you. I’m staying. I will keep caring, being nice toward you, and love you.” The breath hitched on your neck as you heard his last remark.

You shook your head. “Leave, Kim Myungsoo.”

L was flinched because you called him by his full name, which means it’s bad. L loosened his grip on your wrist. You turned the doorknob and got inside, leaving L there alone.

L slid down to the ground soullessly. “. What should I do now?” He mumbled under his breath as he ruffled his hair in frustration.

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