Jiyong's POV 

Three months already had passed but there's still no sign of Dara. I tried almost everything in order to find her but she's still nowhere to be found. And I don't want to entertain the thought of her being dead even others already thinking about it. She possibly just lost her memories and someone or a family perhaps is taking care of her. She's alive and she'll return to me. That's what I am going to believe. 

"Boss…" I blinked my eyes when Chaerin entered the room. "For your signature." I get the folder from her and quietly sign every paper after reviewing each content. "Though your birthday is still two weeks away, everyone is already asking what will be your theme this time." 

"I have no plan in celebrating it this year…" I did not look at her and just continue signing. "but if you guys wanted to do it, just make some plan and I'll just approve the budget." 

She sigh. "What kind of birthday celebration is that? And where ever Dara is, she wouldn't like if you will not celebrate your birthday. It's a tradition already since you built this company." 

I inhale deeply and gave her back the folder. "If that's the only way that will make her to come back, I rather wanted her to get mad and throw tantrums to me." 

She sigh again. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?" Well, this has been her dialogue for quite some time. "You looked restless. Get some sleep." 

"I am sleeping." I said in dismissive tone.  

She snorted. "Yeah, right. So zombie now know how to sleep." 

She abruptly leave and as she closed the door, I scratched my hair in frustration. I've been in a foul mood since Dara went missing and my mood got worsen when I learned that she kept secrets from me. She was writing lyrics for Phoenix entertainment and she's helping an orphanage for abandoned kids. Doesn't she really trust me enough to tell those things? And adding to my wounded ego, those secrets were known by other men. . I hate the fact that she doesn't want me to know about those things. If she didn't go missing, I'll probably never know those things. It's given that she has her reasons but it truly hurts me. Not only my ego. But my whole being. I am her best friend for damn sake. Now I wonder how many secrets she still have that she doesn't plan on telling me and by just thinking that, my chest feels suffocated already. Why she hid it from me? . I wish someone will answer me. Darn right now. 

Then a week after, Seunghyun visited me. "For how long you will continue drinking?" He asked when I gave him a can of beer. 

I drink mine. "You said drinking is good." 

He scratched the bridge of his nose. Well, my answer definitely made him pissed off. "You know what I meant." 

"Hyung…" I drink again then found myself staring at the floor. Pain is starting to get into my whole system again. "You know how Dara's disappearance affected me and if I won't drink, I might think to just commit suicide." 

"You bastard, don't ever say that again. Dara will not like to see you like this." 

I squeezed the can in my hand when tears starting to form. I can't count how many times I cried already in front of him. "Hyung…" I bite my lower lip. "I missed her so much and I ing hate myself as she got into accident because of me." 

"That's just purely a coincidence. It's not your fault." 

I gritted my teeth. "It's my ing fault." 

He only sigh and did not argue with me anymore. As he left, I continued drinking and asked myself again why that accident happened when I am already ready to tell Dara everything. I don't want to put the blame on Sohee because I knew that everything is my fault. I should have talked to her that night. I shouldn't have let that night to pass without talking to her. If I was only able to tell her, I knew that the accident will never happen. Dara will be still here with me. I gritted my teeth when the familiar ache covered me then I throw the can somewhere. . I don't know what to do anymore. 

Then I continue having a life like a zombie then on the night before my birthday, I locked myself in my room and just drink myself in misery until I heard the buzzer of the main door. But instead to check who it is, I continued drinking. Then my phone suddenly rings. It's Mom this time. I planned to ignore her call like what I did to Chaerin and Seunghyun but knowing Mom, she's more persistent than those two so I sigh heavily and answer it. She’s still my mother. "Let us get in, Jiyongie." 

"I am not in the house, Mom." 

"Stop lying, you punk. Open the door or else you will not like what I will do here outside of your house." I only groan then go down with body swaying and I don't know how many minutes took me before I finally opened the door. "Oh my goodness! What happened to you, dear?" 

I hiccupped as she cupped my face. "Celebrating my birthday in advance." Then I smirked at Dad who looked pissed off. I obviously made him mad. "Hey, Dad. Want to drink with me? I still have lots of beers in my room." 

"What the hell are you doing with yourself!?" He shouted. If this is a normal situation, I'll probably crawl in fear but since I had too many beers already, I don't feel any fear at all. What I have now in my system is pain. Too much pain because of what happened to Dara. And I thought that getting drunk will somehow lessen it but it seems it just gets stronger. I terribly miss her already.

I released a drunken kind of laugh then put an arm to his shoulder. "Come on Dad, it's almost my birthday. Don't scold me for the meantime." 

"You punk!" I found myself pulled by Mom then she tossed me at the couch. "W