This is two last chapter.

Like I promise, I write this story in Youngjae's POV.

Youngjae's POV will explain about the previous chapter.

Enjoy! ^^ 

Youngjae's POV

“Choi. Youngjae!”

There was a loud bang on my door. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. “Yes, Mom! I am up!” I yelled to her. With that, she left my door.

It’s another day. Another wonderful day. I stretched my body a bit before getting up to get ready to university. Before that, I prayed to God, may God always will give me a wonderful day again and hope He can say my greet to my dad.

I took my late breakfast and dashed around to catch the bus. Before I left home, as usual, I kissed my mother’s cheeks. “Don’t forget tomorrow, Jae,” she reminded me again. Tomorrow I should take her to hospital for checkup. My mom was ill since my dad left, but she has been so strong up till now. I could just hope God loves me enough to let my mom stay by my side for a little longer.

Just like my usual day, I would stop in the convenience store to buy a can of coffee for ahjussi. Then, I left to take the bus. In the bus, right when I step in, I felt someone was watching me. Sure enough, a fine guy was looking at me, no he was staring hard at me. I couldn’t help but feeling embarrassed even after I sat in front of him, I could still feel his stare.

Ahjussi talked to me about Dahyun’s birthday. I couldn’t came. After a while, I notice a phone ring. I looked at behind me and sure enough, the guy has his phone rang. Our eyes met. And just the way he stared, I felt something different, something that I never felt before. That phone guy.

After the first encounter, I kept thinking about the phone guy and how it would be nice to meet him again. But, I didn’t really meet him for a few next day. I told about it to my mom. I was sad.

However, when I finished my class, it was already night, I ran to catch ahjussi bus and there I met with the phone guy again. I didn’t want to seem awkward, so I just shrugged it off and took my step in.

I could feel that he stared at me again. I just hope he really didn’t think anything bad. Soon, for the long of my way in the bus, I could feel his gaze at me even he sat in the corner back of the bus. I turned my body around to look at him and our eyes met again, before he broke our stare. I chuckled, inside my heart.

When I stepped out from the bus, I didn’t know that the phone guy was following me. I found him in the bus stop, it was raining hard and he closed his eyes and his ears. I thought that he must be afraid of the rain… or thunder.

I was frozen in my spot when he suddenly jumped on me and hug me tight, begging me to not leave him. In the end, I took him to my home because I pitied him. And, deep inside my heart, I really want to know him better. I didn’t know why, but I felt safe and comfortable with him.

In my home, I really didn’t know what to do. I just told myself that I should be nice and be myself. I tried my best to not let him see my awkward and shy side. But, in the end, I embarrassed myself, talking about him and his rumor. Man, I was so surprised to know that he was Im Jaebum, my senior at university that runs a big mall in the center of Seoul City.

I felt little compared to him and suddenly I was shy in front of him, but his personality was so nice to me. I became more comfortable with him, more over when he called me ‘Youngjae-ah’. I really love his voice and his face. Oh, God! Did I just fall in love? I think I did.

Then, when night came and my mom asked me about him, I couldn’t help but blushed a bit when she teased me. That phone guy’s name is Im Jaebum and he was three years older than me. Then when my mom told me about her leaving, I kept thinking about it.

What if she really leaves me? Then I don’t have any relatives with me. I am all alone. I couldn’t help as I dream about it too. I felt someone patted my back and soothing me to calm me down. I took his hand and I felt someone lift me up to the bed. I opened my eyes and found Jaebum hyung there. This time, it was me who begging him not to leave me.

We grew closer. He kept calling or messaging me. Sometimes, he would scold me if I didn’t answer his call or ignoring his messages. Sometimes, he could be so childish.

It was when I was in the university that he called me. I said to him, I’ll call him back because I have class. When I called him back he said that he would pick me up in the university. So, I waited for him, but when I thought again, if the students saw me with Jaebum hyung, I didn’t know what I would get. I was scared so I hid in the café around the university and told Jaebum hyung.

I met Jaebum hyung again in the café. I missed him. I couldn’t help but to blush and feeling shy when he pinched my cheeks and saying me cute. I talked more with Jaebum hyung. I didn’t really know that I was a talkative person. I guessed because I felt a lot more comfortable with him now that I talked more to him.

Then, suddenly, a girl came to us and immediately clung to Jaebum hyung. I felt stung in my heart as I saw her arms on Jaebum hyung’s. She introduced herself as Jaebum hyung’s fiancée. Then, she informed me about their engagement. I couldn’t help but to feel sad and having a mix feeling.

I didn’t know what this is, but sure it hurts so much to hear that news. That’s why, I asked Jaebum hyung again when he took me home. He looked so serious. I was afraid if he got so serious like that. He told me that the engagement meant nothing, but still… I was hurt. At that time, I was so sure that I was falling in love with him.

After hearing that news, I told my mother about it. Then her condition got worse. I didn’t have any times to think about anyone since usually it was just only me and my mom. I never think about Jaebum hyung. I was in panic. And when she left me, that’s when suddenly I remember Jaebum hyung.

I was contemplating so much since that day was his engagement’s day. But, I couldn’t hold it again. I didn’t want to be alone and feeling lonely like this. Then, I called him and he immediately came to me, even helping me with my mother’s funeral.

I felt relieved that I called him. I was being selfish, I know, but I couldn’t help it. Then, when Jaebum hyung kissed me briefly on the lips, I kind of understand his feeling for me and for that I was so thankful for him.

After that day, Jaebum hyung told me that his father was furious and kicked him from his apartment. I told Jaebum hyung to live with me since I didn’t want to be alone in this house. Sure, my house isn’t big, but to live alone here with many memories about me and my mom, I couldn’t.

With that, I lived with Jaebum hyung. He really took care of me like I was his little brother. At first, I haven’t get used to him treated me like a little brother, but soon he changed. He treated me like I was the only one for him. We treated each other like that since up till now we really didn’t have anyone except each other.

It was when I went to camping site with my friend, the first time I’ve been apart from Jaebum hyung. The feeling was weird, uncomfortable. Something was missing and I’ve been missing him so much. I have asked him to come with me, but he got some works to do, so he refused. I was sad at that time, but I couldn’t let him saw me being sad.

I heard that tonight there will be a little storm in Seoul. I couldn’t help but feeling so worry over him. Jaebum hyung was scared of thunder since his mother left him alone in the home when the thunder screamed and the power was off.

Then, when my friend told me that there was a thunder in Seoul, I immediately said to my friend that I’ll be back to Seoul. I kept praying to God for saving Jaebum hyung until I arrived at home. I knocked the door, but no answer. I took my spared keys and unlock the door, that’s when I saw Jaebum hyung wrapped in blanket. When he saw me, he ran to me and hugged me tight. I accompanied him all night.

After the thunder night, I couldn’t forget that day. It was the day when we became officially boyfriend. Jaebum hyung kissed me and back-hugged me. I felt like I was in the heaven. My dream was coming true. I have known his feeling, but I was a coward since I couldn’t ask him out first, so instead I waited for him to take a move which took him long enough.

That day also I learned about his best friends. But, when he told about Jinyoung hyung, I felt a slightly different feeling or affection from Jaebum hyung. I couldn’t help but being jealous over it. Moreover, when Jinyoung hyung called him and they talked so care free, I felt more jealous. I could feel Jinyoung hyung’s affection towards Jaebum hyung. I have this hunch that Jinyoung hyung has something with Jaebum hyung.

My hunch was true. When Jinyoung hyung came, I could tell from the way he stared and looked at Jaebum hyung, it’s different. But, I was being selfish. I kept saying myself that Jaebum hyung only loves me, so Jinyoung hyung’s feeling didn’t really matter.

When I was sick and all alone, since Jaebum hyung met his father. Jinyoung hyung came to me. He said that Mark hyung told him I was sick. Jinyoung hyung was so nice to me, he even cooked for me. Before Jaebum hyung came, Jinyoung hyung told me all about Jaebum hyung since he was a kid until now. He kept saying he miss the old Jaebum hyung.

Once again, I could feel his affection towards Jaebum hyung. I kept thinking, how come Jaebum hyung be so blind all this time when Jinyoung hyung obviously loves him. Jinyoung hyung was the best yet the worst actor ever.

Then, again, I was being selfish again. When Jaebum hyung sent me a message that contains something that I never really think, I really didn’t think about Jinyoung hyung at all. All that matter was just me and Jaebum hyung. And when we did it for the first time, I kept telling myself that it’s fine. This was what me and Jaebum hyung wants. It’s just about Jaebum hyung and me, not others.

I kept telling myself that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes and I really never been so selfish before. My mom and dad always told me that being selfish would only brought not good for ourselves. But, I always prayed to God to let me being selfish for this time and let me being happy since God always playing with me for taking my dad and my mom away. I deserved to be happy too, right? I know my dad and my mom would forgive me.

With that thought, all I did was something that I want. Deep inside my heart, I felt uncomfortable since I know about Jinyoung hyung’s feeling, but I ignored it. Then, when Jaebum hyung said that I was the one who he fell in love first since his college time, my selfish side grew up more. See, we were meant for each other. I have to be with him, we even had his father’s bless.

I really didn’t know why his father accepted me so easily, even told me to marry Jaebum hyung, which I want and I will with all my heart. I loved Jaebum hyung so much. And I know that Jaebum hyung also loves me so much.

I still couldn’t believe that his father played with my innocent, talking about men’s pregnant. I really believed him, so when he said that it’s just a jokes, I didn’t know why, I felt a bit sad. Not because he played with my innocent, but deep in my heart, I really want to have a child on my own. My child with Jaebum hyung.

I couldn’t stop myself to think if Jaebum hyung ever left me, at least I have a child that will keep me company. I guessed I really think hard about it, so I dream about it.

I really dreamed about having our own child that we named Yugyeom, Im Yugyeom. Yugyeom was a bright kid. I really love him and I really want him. I need him. I need him more that I know.

Yugyeom was only my distraction if Jaebum hyung really ever left me. I couldn’t lie that I hate and I was afraid of being alone again. That’s why, I begged to Jaebum hyung, for having a child on our own as soon as possible. I want and I need Yugyeom in my life.

Sometimes, I still couldn’t believe it that Jaebum hyung’s father gave his permission for me to call him dad, moreover gave his bless for us to get married soon. Everything happened for a reason, right?

Then, I finally found the reason why Jabeum hyung’s dad loves me so much. It was when I found a picture with Jaebum hyung’s dad inside with my father, that he was my father’s best friend. And just like that, I was more than sure that this wasn’t coincidence anymore. This was a fate that I met Jaebum hyung.

And again, I convinced myself that it’s okay to be selfish and that I deserved to be happy, just like Jaebum hyung said.

But, just when I want to be selfish again, I felt uncomfortable sting in my heart. Did I do right? I kept asking myself. Was I being selfish really okay? Will Jinyoung hyung okay? Will us be okay? So many questions popped on my head and I really didn’t realize it when I invited Jinyoung hyung to come spend the night in my house.

At first, I just want to invite him alone because I want to talk with him, but he said that he would invite Mark hyung and Jackson hyung also. I couldn’t say no.

When they came, I immediately felt a bit guilty over Jinyoung hyung. He was the best yet the worst actor after all. When we played ‘truth or dare’ I could tell that Jinyoung hyung didn’t really enjoy this game and he felt a bit uncomfortable, but he just dealt with it.

I knew when he asked his question to Jaebum hyung, he didn’t really put his heart in to it, he just simply asked. Oh, I also caught him mumbled, “I wish I was him,” which made my heart clenched in unfunny way.

That night, I felt some stranged aura from him, like he stared at me more. I know he didn’t okay with me being so lovey-dovey with Jaebum hyung, so I was surprised when he said that I should kiss Jaebum hyung.

With the thought that I should be happy and I deserved to be happy, I put aside my guiltiness over Jinyoung hyung and kissed Jaebum hyung. I could feel his big loves for me. And I really hope that he could feel my big love also for him.

It was in the middle of the night that I felt someone shifted and stood up from the sleep, hurriedly going to the bathroom. I swear that I heard a faint cry. I opened my eyes and searched for him.

I looked at Jaebum hyung and kissed his lips briefly before getting up in silent. The door to the bathroom opened a bit and I could see Jinyoung hyung sat on the toilet while he covered his mouth to muffle his cry.

I couldn’t help but feeling guilty again. It must be because of me. Jinyoung hyung really loves Jaebum hyung and he loves Jaebum hyung for a long time now. Just like being hit by a bullet, I felt something uncomfortable under my skins. I’ve been a jerk to someone who has been so nice to me. I stepped on his happiness.

And when I thought about it again, it was my second time I stepped on other’s happiness. First, Yoona Noona who supposed to engage with Jaebum hyung on the day My Mom passed away. Second, Jinyoung hyung, who supposed to be Jaebum hyung’s lover if I didn’t step in between their relationship.

That night, I couldn’t really sleep until morning comes. I just closed my eyes and back to my position where I hugged Jabeum hyung so Jaebum hyung didn’t find it odd. Then, when I felt Jinyoung hyung and Jaebum hyung were up, I could hear their conversation in the kitchen.

I walked silently to them and caught their conversation. Jinyoung hyung was confessing to Jaebum hyung. I felt hurt and betrayed, but why would I? It’s me who stepped in their relationship.

So, when they looked at me stared hard at them, I just made an excuse. I couldn’t help but holding back my tears. I really did my best to hold back my tears. This was the end of my selfish side, I guessed. It’s because I wasn’t being a good kid like my dad and my mom told me to.

I walked to the bathroom to rethink about everything that I did since my mom gone. And I have the conclusion. Even it hurt me so much, I have to give up of this relationship. I didn’t want to step in someone’s happiness.

So, when Jaebum hyung said that I should stop being selfish, I really did. I stopped being selfish and think about Jinyoung hyung. He deserved Jaebum hyung since he was the first one who loves Jaebum hyung and I know that he will take care of him better than me.

With that thought, I called off the engagement with Jaebum hyung. I returned back the ring and I decided to disappear forever from Jaebum hyung’s life.

I met with Jinyoung hyung once because he said he really had something to say to me. I met him. He told me that I misunderstood the situation and the conversation. He said that his feelings for Jaebum hyung was in the past. I know him. I know that he just said that for me to be back with Jaebum hyung.

Honestly, I thought about reconciled with Jaebum hyung more than once, but there was something in my heart that told me not to. He said that it’s better to look someone you love happy with other person than look at someone you love being depression because of us.

I kept pushing him that day. I pushed him to tell all about his feeling and with a cry, he told me all. He told me that he still has a feeling for Jaebum hyung even after this times, even Jaebum hyung always said that he loves Jinyoung hyung just as a little brother.

From that, I convinced Jinyoung hyung that we better to part away. If we really are meant to be, then we will find each other again in the future. I really said that. That was the last time I talked with Jinyoung hyung.

I cut off all communication with them, even with Jaebum hyung’s father. I really wanted to disappear. If Jaebum hyung and I are meant to be, we will meet again someday. I believed it.

a.n: One chapter to go.

Don't worry. I will write a sequel for this story.

Have a nice day! ^^

Anw, thanks for comments and upvotes and subscribes and supports this story. Love you all :*