Chapter 20

The weather became really bad after our holidays in the beach. It ruined my plans to take Youngjae visits other places. I blamed the bad weather, but Youngjae scolded me, saying that I should be grateful since we could take a rest. I will never win with him. I sighed.

          “Baby…” –I walked closer to him. Youngjae was watching our videos that we took in the beach a couple days ago.

         “Hyung, look!” –He excitedly said as he pulled me to sit next to him. I looked at the laptop. It showed our smiling face, when I left Youngjae a message.

          “You have your promise, hyung.” –he said, briefly looked at me.

          “Of course, baby. I will never forget my promise. Well, basically, I promised everyone.” –I said, leaving him stared hard at me.

          “You promised everyone? About what?” –he asked, curious.

          I leaned my back on the couch, yawning a bit before answering him, “I promised them that I will take a good care of you and always being there for you and keep protecting you.”

          I yawned again, “That’s why I’m being overly jealous and possessive about you, baby.” –I added as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

          He nodded. I closed my eyes as I let myself resting on his shoulder.

          “Hyung?” –I heard him called me. I didn’t move or answer him. I guessed he thought that I was asleep. And a few minutes more, I really fell asleep.

          I woke up to the sound of thunder storm. I opened my eyes wide and face Youngjae above me. I just realized that I slept on his lap or maybe he made me sleep on his lap. He smiled to me, caressed my hair, and take my hand with his other hand, squeezed it.

          “Youngjae…” my voice seemed lost as I called him. But, no word needed. Youngjae pulled my body a little so he could fit me in his embrace. I hugged him tight. He sings a lullaby for me making me ignored the pour rain and thunder’s scream. I felt save in his embrace. He kept singing. I began to feel sleepy again.

          Before I drifted to sleep, I heard Youngjae softly said, “Sleep, hyung. I’ll protect you. Sleep well, baby.”

          I woke up to no one beside me or I thought so. I jumped a little as I found Youngjae sitting next to me on the floor where I laid.

          “Good morning, hyung.” –he greeted me.

          “Huh? M-morning, Youngjae-ah… did we… did we sleep here last night?” –I asked him.

          “Yes, hyung. I couldn’t lift you, so yeah… we slept here. I brought the pillows and blankets from the room when you were deeply sleeping.” –he said.

          I yawned again and suddenly feeling embarrassed as I remember the last night event. I always felt so embarrassed every time Youngjae hold me when there’s thunder. Sure, I’ve told him the reason and he understood it very well, but still… I am the hyung. I should be the one who protect him.

          As if Youngjae could read my mind, he said, “Don’t be shy, hyung. Everyone has their own weakness, even the strongest one. Let’s protect each other and lean on each other. We are a husband to be, right?” he gave me his wink before stood up and leaving me dumbfounded behind.

          “Hyung, don’t forget to fold the blanket and put it back to the room.” –he yelled from the kitchen. I chuckled before doing what he instructed me to.

          We were eating our brunch when Youngjae told me that the guys will visit us again tomorrow. He said that they will spend a night in our house.

          “Where did they know your number?” –I asked him as I fed the last piece of strawberry to his mouth. He munching it while answering, “Jnyg hyg gvb m hs nmbr.”

          “What?” I couldn’t catch what he said. He digested his food before answering again, “Jinyoung hyung gave me his number. Actually, I invite them.” –he said.

          “You invite them?”

          “Yes. I want to know them better and I want to know you better too, hyung.”

          “Why? Didn’t I say before, if you want to know me more, just love me more, baby.”

          “I know. But still, hyung…”

          “Or… do you have any secrets that the guys know but I don’t? About your ex, maybe?” –he added.

          “Jae… I said that you are my first, right? Believe me, there is no one except you.” –I said, assured him.

          “Well… let’s see tomorrow.” –he smirked. I felt defeated, “Whatever.”

Then, we spend the rest of the day to clean the house since it’s been a long time we cleaned it. When we was cleaning, I heard Youngjae cried over a piece of paper.

          “Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” –I sat next to him, wrapping him in my embrace.

          “I-I f-found this, h-hyung, while I-I c-cleaned this room.” He gave me a piece of paper. I gasped, surprised by what I saw.

          “This…” –I tried to find my words.

          “Y-your f-father, hyung.” –he sobbed hard now. I have to calm him down as I looked at the photo again. It was a photograph of my father with Youngjae’s father and little Youngjae. Suddenly I remember what my father told me on the night of our holiday. It must be it. It must be the time where my father met Youngjae’s father after four years.

          “Youngjae-ah… baby…” –I hugged him tight.

          “I think my father has something to say.” –I added. He stared at me hard before nodding.

          “I will call him.” –I said as I pulled away the hug to take my phone. I told my father about the photo and he was so shocked. He then tell me to wait for him.

          We waited for him a few hours before my father abruptly entering the house. He immediately pulled Youngjae into bone-crushing hug.

“D-dad…”

          “Youngjae-ah… I can explain everything. Please listen to me. Alright, son?” –my father chocked his own saliva. I knew he was nervous. In the phone, he kept asking me whether Youngjae hates him or not because of that one photo. I assured him that Youngjae was okay, he just shocked by the fact.

          “Yes, dad. I’ll listen to you.” –Youngjae said softly. I knew that Youngjae could also feel my father’s nervousness.

          We talked in the living room. I left them both, getting myself busy in the kitchen to have them speaking heart to heart. In the kitchen, I could hear Youngjae’s fainted cry and my father’s trembling voice. My father told all the story that he told me.

          I’ve heard enough, so I walked back to the living room, bringing three glass of orange juice.

          “Hyung? You know it all?” –Youngjae asked me as soon as I entered the living room. I put the tray on the table and took a sip of my orange juice before answering him.

          “Yes, Youngjae. Dad told me when we were on the cottage and you were asleep. At that time, my reaction was the same as you. I shocked very much. But, relieved at the same time because daddy was telling me this. I understand him now.” –I answered.

          “So, dad… if I wasn’t my father’s son, your best friend’s son, you wouldn’t accept me, right? Maybe you would hate me because I am with Jaebum hyung and we have an unusual relationship. Moreover, I was the reason he called off his engagement.” –Youngjae stated sadly. My father looked deeply at him. He grabbed Youngjae’s hand.

          “No, silly boy. Even you are not my best friend’s son, I will still love you. I, maybe, would go strict first with you, but I definitely would be falling for you. I love you and I accept you for who you are, Jae, not because whose you are. You know, you have this charm to attract people around you. That’s what other said about you.”

          “Other?” –Youngjae asked.

          “Yes. Mark, Jinyoung, and Jackson. I asked them all about you before I know you. I’ve told this also to Jaebum.” –my father explained, smile never disappear from his face. Slowly, Youngjae believed him again.

          “Oh, and I have something to give to you.” –my father said as he took out an old piece of paper. I knew it must be Youngjae’s father’s letter for Youngjae. Youngjae took it with a slight trembling hand.

          “What is this, dad?”

          “Your letter. From your father.” Youngjae gasped as he ready to burst out of tears again. Slowly, Youngjae opened the sealed of the amplop, then he began to read the letter. As he began to read it, tears gather in his eyes suddenly poured down hard. Youngjae was sobbing hard and kept calling his dad.

          My father hugged him again. He sobbed in my father’s embrace. I took the letter from his hand and began to read it loudly.

To my little sunshine, Youngjae.

Hi, son. How are you? I hope everything good will always follow you around. When you read this letter, I know that you must be healthy and safe and perfect and met with someone special. I request to my best friend, Im Jaehyung, to give this letter when you have someone special in your life.

Jae-ah, I want to say sorry that I had to left you early. I am sorry that I don’t tell you about my illness. I don’t want to ruin your, Jae. I like to see you smile and bright. You are my angel.

Jae-ah… if you read this letter, please promise me that you’ll be good with your mom. Always being a good son for her even you’ve got your own special someone. Be a good boy like you used to be, Jae. Be strong for her and for me, Jae. You have to be strong. I know you can. Oh, and send my greeting to her also. I’ll miss her so much.

Jae-ah… my time isn’t long again. I’ve only given a short time to be with you. I am sorry. I am such a bad daddy. I even can’t watch you wear your first uniform and take you to school like other fathers. I am sorry, Jae. I am truly sorry.

Jae-ah… after I left, promise me that you will always been a bright kid and always positive about anything. I trust you that you will be a successful person. Be kind to everyone around you.

And, after I left, I trust Jaehyung, my best friend to take care of you and your mom. I know that he will do well and do my last request. He is my precious best friend. You can learn so many things with him. He will be your next role-model, and your next father’s figure to replace me when I am gone.

And for your special someone, I bet your partner are beautiful and so lucky to have you. Be good to your partner, Jae. Love your partner like you love yourself. I hope that everything goods always happen to both of you. Whoever your partner is, I know that you can take care of your partner well. You will love each other for really a long time. I trust you, Jae. Make your partner happy, always.

You can ask your mom how to treat your partner well. She really is the perfect person to be with and I am so lucky to have her in my life and to have you too. Both of you are my priceless jewelry.

Oh, can I say something to your special someone? I’ll take that as a yes, hahaha.

To Youngjae’s life partner. I don’t know who you are, but I know if Youngjae trust and choose you, you must be a good person. Please take care of my little sunshine well. Since I can’t stay longer with him, I hope you can always stay beside him and take him for who he is. Youngjae is an amazing kid. I know by heart and soul. My sunshine is my everythings. Please protect him from the crazy world that will taint him. I trust my son to you. Be good to him and make him happy, always. I love his smile and I bet that you love his smile too, right? I know, my sunshine has the brightest smile among all. He is the best.

*Jae-ah, I am sorry that I am start blabbering here, son. Kkkk~*

Lastly, Jae… my sunshine, don’t ever forget that you are loved and always be loved by me, by your mother, by your special person, and by everyone. Don’t ever try to hide who you are. I know you’ll be good even though I am not by your side. Keep fighting and stay strong, son.

And chase your dream to be a singer. I will miss your voice so much, son. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I can’t even put it into words. My love for you is as big as this whole world. I really love you, Jae. You know it, right?

                  

From your silly father who will always love you and miss you,

Choi Jinhyuk

I couldn’t hold my tears as I finished reading Youngjae’s father’s letter. My father did the same. The three of us were crying hard. But, among us, Youngjae was the one that suffered so much. His sobs became louder as I read the letter.

          I fold the letter and put it back to its amplop. I took Youngjae from my father’s embrace. I hugged him tight. He clutching on my shirt as he sobbed harder.

          “Jae-ah… you heard to me reading your father’s letter, right? He said that you have to be strong, Jae. Let’s be strong together.  You can always lean on me, baby. You’ve got me and daddy, right? Please, stop crying and let me see your beautiful smile that your father loved.” –I cheered him up. Youngjae’s breaths still heavy, but he slowly became better. He was calmer now.

          “Youngjae-ah… Jaebum is right. Like your father said, you have to be strong. And since your father trust me to take care of you, I will protect you with my life, Jae.” –my father said as he wrapped his arms around both of us.

          “T-thank y-you, dad… a-and h-hyung, let’s be s-strong.” –Youngjae stuttered between his silent cry.

          We sat for a really long time before we decided to go visit Youngjae’s parent’s graves and my mom. Life is about revealing the truth.

a.n: Enjoy! ^^