I woke up with a noise of door flunging open and men barging into the house. Not my house. His. I started to walk out to my living room and start panicking but i knew they couldnt hurt him because he would have pay them back now. Did he?

I got out without caring how teribble i look at this hour. It was really late. Gladly, those stupid three mens didnt see me passed through his apartment. But, i couldnt spot the boy and his mom. But i do realise that those boys are searching for something while i walk pass through the apartment. I decided to ran down to search for them but i couldnt spot him or his mom. I got out and didnt stop looking for him. Then suddenly someone pulled me into a bush. "Boy! you're here" i was relieved. I saw the mom, such a beauty. She shouldnt be crying and frowning.

"Why are you here?!" He was worried and angry. "I couldnt let you deal with this alone!" i fight back. "Now how are you going to go back? They would also barge into your house" he said concernly. "I'll go deal with them, you go with your mom somewhere safer!" i told him. "Im not letting you!" He said angrily. "Sweety.. the money?" his mom asked. "Dont worry mom" he said. I can see him smiling but tears were pouring from his eyes. "Go Haerin!" he ordered me. "Without you?! You wish!" i spat.

"Now! Go! Take my mom to the place i brought you before! No one knows that place. You know where right? Its safer for the both of you. Go now! Please!" he said sternly. "Promise you'll come back?" i asked while looking at him staright in the eye. "I'll do what i can okay? I just need them to stop putting everyone i love in danger" he said while he cupped my face and looked into my eyes. "Okay.. i'll go. Be safe okay?". He then hugged me. 

"Let's go aunty" I held his mom's hand as i quietly come out from the bush. It was midnight and there's no one around at this rate hour. "Haerin!" he called back. "Yea?" i said as i turn to look at him. "Just so you know and remember this always.. I love you.. with all my heart. I want you to be happy" he said suddenly crying but he was managing himself to smile. His mom was waiting for me at the end of the road but she didnt hear what he said.

"I got to go now boy.. i'll see you later okay? Please be safe". I walked away but before i could walk any further. he grab my wrist and i turned to face him. That's when he kissed me and said "My name is Jongin". I noticed he was smiling.. genuinely. His mom was already pulling me to as she sense those men were going to come down from the apartment.

......................

We ran as fast as we could and finally reached the place. Despite all the mess that was going on, this place brought peace to us. "Aunty. get some rest. I'll be wide awake, you dont have to worry". I really meant what i said. I couldnt sleep. I need to keep her safe and i need to know if jongin is safe. 

Jongin..

Jongin..

Why didnt i know his name at the first place? Why didnt i asked him? With all the time i had with him, i could have called him jongin.. I wasted my one whole week being alone without him. Now with this situation.. I regret not spending much time with him. I regret not doing anything..

...................

We've been here for more than two hours staright... without jongin. I didnt want to disturb his mom who is sound asleep. I was wide awake.. i was waiting for him. I could just run to him now, but he left me with a big a responsibility, to take care of myslef and his mom. 

Suddenly his mom woke up.. "Honey, arent you sleeping?" , "Huh me? No aunty, you can go back to sleep. Im fine" i replied. She didnt reply back but then after a long silence.. "You're waiting for him arent you?" his mom said to me. I looked at her and nodded. She smiled but tears were falling from her eyes. Why..? I wanted to ask her but i forced myself no to. I turn to look away when suddenly she said.. "He always talks about you.." she smiled. "Me?" , "Yes, day and night. Every second of the day" , "But we dont really spend time together that much these past few weeks" i told her. "You were still his topic sweety". 

I frowned knowing that i never treat him right ever these past few weeks.. "Do you have other kids of your own aunty?" i decided to ask her. "No, just jongin. He's amazing. He was there for me when my husband passed away. He took care of me.. He protected me" , "He is amazing" i said as i smiled agreed at her statement. "You were much more amazing to him sweety. I believe you knew that already?" , "yes aunty.. but i didnt let him know that i felt the same towards him" , "why not?". 

".... and that's why i couldnt bring myself to love anyone or get attached to anyone.." ,  "i understand" she smiled. I noticed jongin and his mom smile a lot. They were really beautiful people. Just like jongin said to me before "If we learn to smile even in the world is sad.. It depends on how you look at things". I thought of his words. Suddenly it made me smile but with tears along. I realised i've loved him all this while. Just that i was too afraid to let him know. I hope its not too late to tell him.. 

"Aunty, why does jongin get sick often? Is he okay?" Finally im asking questions about jongin that i was longing to know. "Ohh about that, he's not so well. But nothing serious, just that we cant afford to pay or buy medicines. He limps a lot when he's in pain." , "Oh" i answered as i remember him limping. "Aunty what his birth date?" i asked. "Its January 14th dear" she said while smiling. "Ohh, did he celebrate with you?". She frowned and said.. "No honey, we couldnt afford to buy a cake or buy the ingredients to make one and i was very sick during his birthday..",  "Its okay! Once this is all over, i'll prepare the celebration" i said while i hugged her. She laughed but still tears were pouring from her eyes. 

I was asking all sorts of question about jongin. I was in love with this guy. I love him. After a while of talking i decided to leave the place and go back home. "Aunty, wait here. Let me check if everything's okay" i assured her before i went into his apartment and to his bedroom to check. But then i realised.. where's jongin? I left the mom in the living room alone and went to his bedroom..kitchen..my apartment to look for him but.. Nothing. No one. It was just the both of us. When i went back to the living room, i saw his mom crying. She was alright awhile ago.. 

"Aunty are you okay?'" i hugged her. "Aunty?". She didnt say a word. She handed me a later then she spoke as she cried.. "Sw-ee-tt-tyy.. jongin wanted me to give this to you.." I looked at her, confused about the situation. He gave his mom a letter to me? Before we left him here? I took the letter from her and read it..

Hey you! 

I know you wouldnt like the start like " Dear haerin".

Dont laugh! I know you are laughing right now! Hahaha!

This letter is for you.. and only you haerin-ahh. There's money in my bedroom, i kept it inside my matress. Careful when you search for it because its really dirty and dusty! I dont want you to get sick!

The money is for you and my mom.. I know you would use it wisely. You're amazing at saving things, even if it involves you starving. Please eat more okay? :) Haha!

My life with you has been great. You made me smile. Im sorry i made you cry. If only i could be with you now, right where my arm should be wrapped around you telling everything is okay. I wish you the best... without me. Im sure you'll do great! I'll be thankful and truly grateful to the guy you will love someday.. I wasnt perfect enough for you, I know. You're one amazing girl, haerin-ahh.

My mom knew about this... My mom knew im not going to pay them back. Dont worry! They wont disturb you anymore! I promise! The money we earned together should be kept for you.. Im not using it or giving it to anyone. 

Promise me, you'll be happy okay?

I love you..

Always..

By the way, im glad you know my name, Im glad you knew i existed.-

                                                                                                                              Jongin.

My world just collapse.. I couldnt move, i couldnt say a word.. I could just cry. Cry my lungs out. "It wasnt enough?" i ask the mom as i was crying. "It was enough honey.. but he didnt want to waste it by handing it to them. He wanted us to have it. He wanted you to have it.." 

"WHY??!!" i shouted, not at her.. not to him.. but to me. "WHY??!! WHY WAS I SO LATE??!! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HIM??!!". Jongin's mom hugged me right away. "They took his life.." his mom spoke the continued.. "he knew if they killed him.. they would stop looking for us" , " i should've helped him.. i should've went with him" i chanted. "Sweety its not your fault..". "I should've told him! I should've told him!!". I was so mad at myself. Now he's gone.. I wanted to tell him.. i wanted to run to him, seeing him being with his joyful self.. Having to see him early in the morning.. late at night with his hot chocolate.. Laughing with him. Calling him.. jongin..

Why did you have to go?

I decided to make this chapter and the next chapter long. So yeah Enjoy! :)