So this is what it feels like. This is the kind of pain that Eric needed to suffer every day when he’s the only one who remembered. I opened my eyes to this perfectly arranged plot when my sobbing ended in an instant.

I was standing at Andy’s back while he is trying to hide under the slide and from a distance; I can see Hyesung coming with Minwoo flying on his side. It was meant to be like this from the very start. It hurts. It was the day when they were scheduled to go to their taekwondo class. I know it very well, in my memories – it wasn’t the same.

Eric came to aid me as expected after fixing his younger brother’s situation in heaven. Junjin stayed there to facilitate the guardians’ training and all I can do is act like nothing happened. It’s hard; it breaks my heart every day. Seeing Hyesung with Andy as his best friend reminds me of that solitary angel. Every moment I spend here on earth, only reminded me of him. Everything about him was excruciatingly sad but beautiful.

3 years – I have been living in agony and the only thing that makes me smile is that of what’s left of him; his memories.