Seoul was bathed in sunlight when Naeun came back from her morning run. That time on her own, spent only with nature and the morning coldness, gave her the perfect opportunity to think, to put her thoughts in order. And she never missed it. But her mind was especially messy that morning, after what had happened that night.

The cold shower gave her a new perspective of life, but she couldn’t get Eunji out of her mind. The look of disappointment she had given the younger girl last night, her hand caressing Naeun’s cheek... The younger girl could still feel how the touch had lingered for hours, and every time she thought about it, her stomach fluttered.

Naeun got dressed and looked at herself in the mirror, picturing last night’s scene. She was remembering how Eunji’s hand felt on her face when Hayoung irrupted into the room, stopping in her tracks when she saw the seriousness on Naeun’s face.

“Are you okay?” The maknae asked.

“I’m not sure,” Naeun answered awkwardly. “My head’s a mess, Hayoung-ah.”

“What is it?” Hayoung smiled warmly. “You know you can trust me like no one else.”

“Hayoung-ah... you have to promise me not to tell anyone.” Naeun was blushing already and she hadn’t even started talking.

Hayoung nodded; of course she was going to keep Naeun’s secret, whatever it was. That’s what best friends were for.

“Hayoung-ah...” Naeun didn’t even know how to start, so she kept repeating her friend’s name. “I’m... I think that I...”

“Hey unnie, calm down.” Hayoung tried to make her relax, acting as the adult maknae once again.

“What would happen if I felt something deeper than friendship for another member?” Naeun finally started talking after a deep breath. Hayoung remained silent for a while, and Naeun was getting more and more anxious.

“You’re talking about Eunji-unnie, aren’t you?” Hayoung smiled warmly, understanding. “I’ve seen how you look at her.”

That simple statement the younger girl made caused Naeun to blush suddenly and hide her face between her hands.

“Don’t worry, unnie,” Hayoung tried to help. “It’s obvious you feel something for her.”

“I think I’m in love with her,” Naeun blurted.

∼

Bomi woke up early that morning, when the sun had barely started its way up the sky. Being careful not to wake up Chorong, who was peacefully sleeping beside her, she grabbed some clothes to wear and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower. After washing herself, she wrapped herself in a towel and sat down for a while, thinking.

These are the pills you need right now, the doctor had said, writing the prescription. But I’m sorry to say that they’re mostly for the symptoms, not the illness. They will ease your pain. Bomi looked at herself in the mirror, one side at a time. She looked like she always did, but she felt much worse. She felt like life had come crushing on her and she wouldn’t be able to get up again. And the worst part, just like the doctor had said, was not having anyone to help her stand back up. But Bomi, no matter how many times she had thought about it, didn’t think hurting the people who loved her was a good thing, even if it was the best thing for her. Even though, she knew they’d all be incredibly mad when they realized she had been lying about such a serious thing.

Bomi put on the clothes she had chosen and left the bathroom after combing her hair slightly. She had a mission to fulfil. After grabbing her purse and putting some flip flops on, she left the bungalow she shared with her girlfriend and walked down the street towards the center of the town. She stopped by a bakery to buy something for breakfast, and asked where the pharmacy was. No one recognized her, so she thought it was a good thing they had rented a place in that town, safe from scandals and stuff like that.

“I would like to buy these pills.” She gave the prescription to the chemist, who opened his eyes wide and looked at her pitifully. Bomi acted like she hadn’t noticed, and she smiled and mentioned how good the weather was that day while the chemist looked for the pills in the shelves.

“They are pretty strong, so I would recommend only two per day, which is what it says here,” he pointed at the prescription. “But if you feel too much pain at some point, you can take even three, no more.”

He looked worried, and that affected Bomi more than what she was disposed to show. She tried to change the topic and asked what she hadn’t been able to find on the internet the day before.

“Is there a beach around here that no one really goes to? Somewhere hidden or too difficult for many people to get to? I am planning a surprise.”

∼

Hayoung had stayed silent for some seconds, thinking about her best friend’s confession. She hadn’t expected Naeun to blurt out something that serious.

“U-unnie,” she stuttered, now finally able to come out from her speechless state. Naeun looked down, embarrassed, and her mind started spinning around what she had just blurted out.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about it,” Naeun said, staring at the floor. Hayoung looked at her friend in empathy, but she finally came up with the obvious answer.

“You know what you should do,” she said. “You have to tell her. It’s the only way for you to feel better.”

“But what if...” Naeun couldn’t build a coherent sentence. “What if it’s worse after she knows? It’s not something that can be forgotten.”

Hayoung remained silent for a couple of seconds, thinking.

“It’s not like I have any experience in the topic,” the maknae smiled shyly, “but I really think you should tell her. Eunji-unnie deserves to know.”

Naeun nodded, even though she didn’t look too convinced. The mere thought of telling Eunji how she felt made her feel nauseous and made her head spin.

“If you want my opinion,” Hayoung started, “I think she’s into you as well. I’ve seen how she cares about you, how she looks at you...”

“I’m just not sure that that’s not the motherly attitude she feels towards all of the members,” Naeun answered. That’s what troubled her most, putting her hopes up only to maybe have them torn down later; she was scared of being hurt and never being able to bring their relationship back to what it was.

Naeun had never understood how Bomi and Chorong could act so carefree. They had impulsively jumped into this relationship without thinking about its consequences, but Naeun wasn’t that impulsive. She wasn’t sure she could go on with her life if Eunji rejected her, and that’s what held her back.

“Tell her,” Hayoung said, grabbing her friend’s hand to comfort her, “but only when you feel ready.”

∼

When Chorong woke up, the other side of the bed felt cold and empty, like no one had lay there for a long time. She rubbed her eyes and yawned before getting out of the mess that the bed sheets had become after the whole night. 

She walked to the bathroom to wash her face, and that’s when she felt the slight pain on her calf. It surprised her but it made her smile too.

“Really?” She couldn’t help but laugh, sore from curling her toes in pleasure last night.

Chorong washed her face and wiped it with a towel, carrying it with her when she went back into the room. She was on her way to the closet when the door opened, revealing Bomi, dressed in street clothes and looking very much awake.

“Good morning, Bomi-ah,” Chorong smiled when she saw her girlfriend in her very short pajamas.

“We match.” Bomi suddenly laughed and pointed at a spot in Chorong’s neck, next to her collarbone. When Chorong expressed her confusion with her eyebrows, Bomi turned her neck and lifted her hair to show a purplish spot on her right side. A hickey.

“Oh my gosh!” Chorong exclaimed, running into the bathroom to stare at her reflection carefully. The love bite was there, very recent and obvious; a lot of makeup would be needed to cover it.

“This is not funny, Bomi-ah,” Chorong tried to remain serious for a while, but she ended up laughing just like Bomi. The younger girl caressed her girlfriend’s cheek and neck, and brought their lips together in a short peck.

“Let’s go have breakfast,” Bomi said. “I bought something for you, and I’ve got everything planned for today.”

Chorong raised her eyebrows in surprise, but she followed her girlfriend towards the dining room. In the light of the day, the rented bungalow looked different, bigger, and it was perfect for the girls’ vacation. There was a huge window in the dining room through which they could see the sea, wild and blue, and that’s what Chorong was doing when Bomi brought the groceries she had bought to the table. Chorong’s favorite cookies, their favorite bread, freshly made coffee... everything looked perfect in that moment.

“Thank you, Bomi-ah,” Chorong said. “I am so grateful to have you.”

“No, unnie,” Bomi answered, face serious, “I’m the one whose life would have no meaning without you. I love you so much, unnie.”

∼

The beach Bomi had learned about that morning was really hard to find, even when following the instructions from the chemist. But when they finally made it there, it was worth it. The sea was shining blue, reflecting the sky above Jeju Island. It was a perfect day, the bright sun heating up the sand under the girls’ feet. And the couple had the time of their lives under the sea-like sky.

Jokes and sand, wet, salty kisses and caresses that gave life the meaning it had always deserved. The happiness they felt in that moment made their hearts grow together, even if the thorn of guilt still hurt Bomi from the inside. But when she saw her unnie’s eyes shining bright because of the emotions, even that was healed for a while.

After swimming for a while and playing around, Bomi was laying her head against Chorong’s knees, the older caressing her girlfriend’s forehead.

“I love you, Bomi-ah,” Chorong mumbled. “I am never going to get tired of telling you.”

“And I am never going to get tired of hearing it, unnie.” Bomi winked at Chorong playfully, easing the conversation. She had been avoiding serious topics that reminded her of the secret she was keeping, but every day it was getting harder to lie to Chorong right on her face.

Bomi was looking up at the older girl’s pale face when she felt something vibrate beside her. A phone. She groaned in complain, but picked up the call either way.

“Maknae?” She laughed at the phone. “Where are you, Hayoung-ah?”

Chorong smiled at the conversation that was taking place beside her, looking forward to the other members arriving at Jeju Island.

“Are you here yet?” Bomi asked Hayoung. After talking for a while, the 93’er nodded and hung up the phone. She then turned to Chorong. “We should get going, unnie. They’ll arrive by lunch time.”

“Yeah, we should take the kids to a nice place.” Chorong got up and helped Bomi to her feet. “I have an idea; let’s go.”