The sun came out before they had reached their dorm. It had been a really long night for all of them, but the fun of it had been reduced to worry with Bomi’s night terror and the fear that came along with it.

When Eunji parked in front of their dorm, most members were asleep in the backseat. She turned around to look at them and couldn’t help a smile when she saw their peaceful faces. Eunji moved her gaze towards the front and locked her eyes with Naeun’s. The younger girl smiled at her and shrugged. Before she could even say anything, a yawn dominated her features and it made Eunji laugh.

“Are we home yet?” Eunji’s laugh had woken Chorong up, and the leader rubbed her eyes to erase sleep from her pale features.

“Yeah.” It was Naeun who answered. “Unnie, you should get some real sleep.”

“We all should,” Eunji added.

That’s when Hayoung opened her eyes and moved slightly, waking Namjoo up with her touch. Chorong whispered soft words at Bomi so the girl would have a nice wake up and they slowly made their way out of the car and upstairs, to their dorm.

“I’m going to bed,” Bomi whispered at Chorong, and the older girl nodded.

“I’ll be right there,” she promised.

When Bomi left, Chorong approached Eunji. The girl must have understood the leader’s purpose, since she excused herself to Naeun.

“You should all go get some sleep,” Chorong used her leader position. “It’s still early and we have no plans for the morning.”

“Unnie… we were wondering…” Hayoung hesitated, looking at Namjoo for support. “What time is Bomi-unnie’s chemotherapy? Can we go with her?”

Chorong looked surprised at the question, and she hesitated for a moment before answering.

“4pm,” she said. “And about going with her… I’ll guess that’s something you should ask her. But wait until she wakes up.”

Hayoung and Namjoo nodded quietly and excused themselves to go sleep.

“Are you feeling okay?” Naeun asked her dongsaengs when she accompanied them down the hall.

“I’m still dizzy,” Hayoung yawned.

“I’m okay,” Namjoo said at the same time.

Naeun rolled her eyes and ruffled her dongsaengs’ hair while they made their way towards Namjoo and Hayoung’s bedroom.

“Unnie, can you put me to bed?” That was something only young kids asked their moms when they were scared, so Naeun was as surprised as she was flattered by Hayoung’s request.

Namjoo changed her clothes and got into bed, and Hayoung imitated her. Naeun stood right there, watching her friends get ready for bed, and the smile she wore wouldn’t leave her face.

“I feel like you’re back to being trainees,” she said, looking at the maknaes. “But not even then did you ever do this.”

“We’re drunk, remember?” Hayoung said in joy. “We won’t remember any of this in the morning.”

“It’s already morning,” Namjoo pointed out.

“Whatever,” Hayoung frowned. “You know what I mean.”

Naeun sighed but the smile didn’t drop.

“Okay, whatever, I got it,” she said. “Now let’s just get some sleep. It’s been a long night for all of us because of you and we should get some rest. We have things to do after all when we wake up.”

The girls were already drifting into dream world and didn’t even ask what she meant. Acting like the big sister she’d always felt like towards them, she approached Namjoo and covered her with the blankets before kissing her on her forehead. She then repeated the same action with Hayoung, beaming like the big child who’s proud of herself because the little kids want her attention.

“Goodnight, Hayoung-ah.” She kissed the maknae’s forehead, and the girl shifted in her sleep.

Naeun walked towards the door and looked at her dongsaengs before shutting it close.

“I am just glad we saved the poor lobster,” Hayoung mumbled before Naeun could close the door. “She deserved it.”

∼

“I’m sorry.”

Eunji lifted her gaze from the couch and stared at Chorong.

“What?”

“I said I am sorry,” the leader repeated.

Eunji looked at her for a few instants without saying anything, just staring into her dark eyes before answering.

“I don’t get it.”

Chorong rolled her eyes before letting herself fall on the couch next to Eunji, her beautiful features becoming an exasperated expression.

“It was irresponsible of me,” she explained. “Everything that happened was my fault.”

“It was not,” Eunji replied, finding it so obvious that any explanation was pointless. “You and I both know why you let it happen, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for it. Bomi-ah’s starting chemotherapy tomorrow, or today, or whatever time it is now but you know what I’m saying. You did it for her. And you don’t need to explain for me to get it.”

“I know, but it was still a crazy thing for us to do,” Chorong continued. “You saw them! They’re crazy! They stole a lobster from a restaurant because they just wanted her to find her freedom! How is that normal?”

“You called it a her,” Eunji pointed out, which made her crack up and Chorong rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Whatever. You tried to make Bomi happy and you thought you could manage the maknaes and, more importantly, you thought you could manage yourself. But let me tell you something, unnie. You are the worst drunk.”

Chorong blushed at that.

“I know,” she nodded. “I just thought… maybe I could forget about my problems as well, you know? I thought everything would look better in a drugged state…”

“But you were wrong,” Eunji added.

“I was wrong,” Chorong corroborated. “I guess I’m one of those depressed drunks whose problems just come down on them even more when they drink. And it’s not even a problem of mine! But I feel so bad. And I am so scared… I can’t imagine how scared must Bomi-ah feel if I am like this. I want to help her but I feel so hopeless…”

“You are helping her,” Eunji said, grabbing one of Chorong’s hands. “You are helping her way more than you obviously think you are. She would be nothing without you. She needs you more than any of us needs air. As much as you say you need her.”

Chorong looked at her in silence for a while, looking down at her lap. Her eyes roamed freely around her shorts and her pale legs, thoughts eating up her mind before she decided to speak up. It was Eunji, after all.

“I want to marry her.”

Eunji looked so shocked then that she fell down on her back, her sitting position becoming a lying down one. Her eyes were open in surprise, and no sound came from , at least no sound coherent enough for Chorong to understand. She swallowed a couple of times until she was able to speak.

“What?” There was nothing else she could say.

“You heard me,” Chorong said. “But listen to me, it’s not like this. I mean, it is, but you need to hear me out.”

Eunji looked at her unnie expectantly.

“I’m listening.”

“Bomi-ah… she’s said something,” Chorong hesitated. “I mean, she didn’t have to say anything for me to figure out that she wanted to marry me, but she is so quiet since… you know. She’s scared. She doesn’t want to be a burden. And I know she doesn’t want to tie our lives together now.”

“How do you know she feels that way?”

“I just know her!” Chorong exclaimed way too louder than she meant to. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t want her to feel like that. I want her to know that I will be here forever, no matter what. No matter what she says, no matter how she acts. Our lives are already tied forever, so why not really get married? But I can’t talk to her so freely about this… On one hand, this isn’t a topic I feel comfortable talking about. And on the other... well, every time we’ve talked about something future-related she gets all defensive and we end up fighting.”

“You need to tell her about it,” Eunji looked like the mature one now. “About this. All of this. She deserves to know. And even if you fight, this is something you really need to fix. You can’t be so scared to hurt each other. Both of you. And you can’t be so scared of death.”

“Aren’t you scared?” Chorong asked, tears filling up her eyes but none of them falling yet.

“Of course I am,” Eunji moved forward to hug Chorong briefly. “But we need to be brave for her. And, personally, I would love to see you two married, you know? You belong together and everyone knows it.”

Chorong managed to smile a bit after that. Eunji was indeed a great person to talk to, and she felt glad she had opened herself to her dongsaeng.

“So this is what you wanted to talk to me about?” Eunji smiled at Chorong and ruffled the leader’s hair, to which the older girl groaned in complain. She was not a little kid.

“No, not really,” Chorong shrugged. “I just wanted to apologize for making them all drunk.”