Junhyung

I sit down and finish my breakfast. Hyunseung just dashed out without saying good-bye or thank you or anything. What a hopeless guy. I sigh and shake my head. He was desperately putting on the clothes I gave him. Getting flustered like a girl. He is really a hopeless guy.

I should get ready and head out too, but I just keep on staring at the empty plates in front of me – remembering Hyunseung´s body this morning. It took a load off my mind. Honestly. I was lucky to be able to confirm my reaction to his body once again – this time without the influence of alcohol – and like I expected, there was none. Nothing – just a half- man putting on his clothes. Me getting all over his body was just false alarm. A sick joke my body pulled on me.

Yes, his skin is pale. And yes, he is skinny. But that´s it, there was nothing else to it. Like for example there was no softness or warmth a female body emits. I sigh and look down on Hyungnim who is pulling on my pant leg.

“What will become out of us?”, I ask as I try to pet his head. But he just ignores me and keeps pulling on my leg.

--

Hyunseung

I can´t believe that I slept next to Junhyung. Just remembering our awkward conversation a couple of minutes ago makes me blush. I can´t believe a lot of things. Why the hell did I start taking my clothes of?! And why the hell don´t I remember anything?! This was a once in a lifetime chance to sleep next to him and watch him sleep…and I missed it. Ever since we stopped living all together in the dorm this chances became so rare…and I just fell asleep…I bump my head against the window of the car in order to beat some sense into myself but with no success.

“Oppa? Aren´t you feeling well?”, Seyeon´s annoying voice brings me back to reality. I wish I could just ignore her but…manners. I still have manners.

“Yeah. I just had too much to drink last night.”, I answer shortly and hope that she shuts up – but of course she doesn´t.

“Here, Oppa. Drink some water. Maybe it will help against your hangover.”, she says in a worried voice and hands a bottle of water over to me.

“Thanks.”, I whisper and take the bottle. Sometimes she is nice and useful – is what I was thinking as she puts her hand on my knee. I´m so surprised that I’m lost for words. She just boldly initiated physical contact to me and I’m like What the hell are you doing woman?!

“Did you sleep over at a friend´s house?”, she asks carefully. The sound of her voice and the way she is asking me is weird…it nearly sounds like she is…jealous?

Confused I look over to her. Seyeon´s usually cute and girly face has a mysterious and scary look to it. So she doesn´t know about Junhyung´s place yet. This info makes me unexpectedly happy because it means that Junhyung hasn’t taken her to his place yet. And i´m not going to do Seyeon the favor and reveal Junhyung´s address. It is already difficult enough as it is. And no one knows what will happen once she finds out his address.

But what will happen once she runs out of Q-tips and goes over to Junhyung´s place to borrow some. And then they chat and chat until sunset ( oh, how I hate the sunset and the romantic atmosphere it provides T.T) and go out on a walk along the waterfront of the Hanggang-river together with Hyungnim and -

Manager-nim who overheard our conversation while he was driving chuckles suddenly and interrupts me in the middle of imagining another of my horror scenarios.

“He slept over at Junhyung´s place.”

Seyeon looks up to me and smiles softly as she pulls back her hand.

“Oh, I see.”, she says emitting a devilish aura.

This woman is the devil.

--

After we successfully wrapped up today´s schedule for my solo activities we head over to the company. Junhyung scheduled a recording session for today as well. Unlike yesterday all beast members are going to participate because Doojoon and Yoeseob are back from Spain.

I completely forgot about Doojoon. I wonder how he is doing.

Of course Seyeon came along. >.>. I guess it can´t be helped. At least she is not going to meet Junhyung alone. I will watch out for them.

I´m the last one to enter the little studio. Yoseob is currently recording while the other members are sitting on the little sofa. Seyeon casually walks past me and sits next to Kikwang. Kikwang? What´s wrong with him? Why does his complexion look to dark? As I look over to Doongwoon he looks normal. Well at least he looks like yesterday – pale and tired. I thought that they made up after yesterday’s fight. At least I heard them doing IT in the restroom yesterday as I tried to stop Junhyung from entering said room.

Doojoon who has dark circles as well signals me to sit down. So I walk over to them and take a seat in between Doongwoon and Doojoon. As I look up I meet Yoseob´s eyes who have been watching me carefully ever since I entered the room.

“Hyunseung-shi? You are up next. Get ready.”, Taejoo calls out to me. I nod and an awkward silence follows. Doongwoon seems to be stuck in his own thoughts as Kikwang starts to talk to Seyeon. Doojoon just watches the entire situation with furled eyebrows, obviously trying to understand the situation.

“How was your trip?”, I ask as I try to lighten the mood.

“Fine.”, he answers shortly in a serious tone.

Once again a long silence follows.

“Did something happen while I was away?”, Doojoon asks suddenly and I can see how Kikwang shrugs suddenly.

“No. Nothing happened.”, Doongwoon answers with a fake smile and takes my hand. I can feel Kikwang´s curious look resting on me.

“Hyung, you have a small cut on your finger and your complexion doesn´t look so well. Aren´t you feeling well?”, the maknae asks me with a tender voice. I didn´t even notice it.

“Ah, yes. I´m fine. Guess one of the rings I wore for today´s stage cut my finger.”, I answers and try to pull my hand back, but Doongwoon holds onto it tightly.

“Hyung, you should take better care of your beautiful skin-“, he says seductively and pulls my finger to his lips. I can feel his warm breath on my bare skin and I start to blush. Before I know what is happening he liks over the cut and I get goose bumps all over my body.

“I`M GOING HOME!”, Kikwang burst out obviously pissed off and dashes out of the studio.

As soon as the dancer abruptly left the studio Doongwoon lets go of my hand. He remains silent and doesn´t follow his lover who obviously dashed out due to the maknae´s behavior. What is going on? Did they have a fight again?

“What on earth is going on?!”, Doojoon asks once again like he was able to read my thoughts, but this time his voice sounds angry and worried at the same time. Doongwoon just shrugs his shoulders. I have no clue either.

“Where did Kikwang go?”, Yoseob´s voice breaks the silence in the small room.

Doojoon who doesn´t look up to singer ignores his question and signals Doongwoon to follow him outside. The two men get up and leave as Yoseob watches them dumbfounded.

“YAH! AM I air, or what?! Don´t just ignore me like that!!!! YAH Doojoon! Doongwoon-ah!!!”, he wants to run after them but Junhyung stops him as he holds on to his arm. Like always I get irritated when I see Junhyung touching the cute singer.

“Just let them be. Guess, Doojoon is just carrying out his duties as the leader.”, Junhyung says in a calm tone and assures Yoseob who must feel left out.

“Ah yes, Jun-Oppa, is right.”, Seyeon meddles in suddenly. Jun-Oppa?! I really don´t like the sound of that. Yoseob looks at her and wants to say something but bites it back.

“OK! Then I will just shut up, sit down and wait!”, he hisses at Junhyung and Seyeon and sits down on the sofa.

“Hyunseung-shi? It is your turn.”, Taejoo who is the only one working reminds me suddenly. I get into the little recording part of the studio and put the head-phones on. The funny part of this section of the room ist that although you can see the other people in the next room you can´t hear them unless someone pushes a specific yellow buttom on the monitoring desk.

While I sing I watch Junhyung, Seyeon and sulky Yoseob chatting. Junhyung who is sitting with his back to me, laughs cutely once in a while. I can see how he is facing Seyeon all the time. I really wished I could see his facial expression. I wonder if he looks at her like she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen… I really wished he would look over to me and watch me sing…

“Hyunseung-shi….Hyunseung-shi…?”, Taejoo´s asking voice interrupts me suddenly, “We need to do the chorus again. But this time you need to sing more cutely.”

I nod and give it another try. But Taejoo interrupts me again :” This is no good. It needs to sound soft and sweet like you are talking to your girlfriend.”

I look over to the people in the waiting room. Doojoon and Doongwoon got back from their little talk and Yoseob immediately starts talking to them. My eyes and Doojoon´s eyes meet for a second and he shakes his head slightly. I have no clue what it means, but one thing is for sure…it means trouble.

Junhyung turns around, looks at me and smiles. I can feel how my heart is about to burst. It has been so long since he gave me one of those genuine smiles that I feel like melting away. I return his smile and I finally know how to sing the chorus.

Sometimes…sometimes…I allow myself to dream.

Sometimes I allow myself to imagine him holding my hand, kissing me, touching me.

Sometimes I allow myself to imagine a world in which we are dating like a normal couple.

Acting cutely like in this song – acting like lovers do.

“Great, Hyunseung-shi. Great! That´s it!”, Taejoo calls out to me enthusiastically, “Ok. That is it for your part. Good job.”

As I look up I suddenly realize that Junhyung left in the middle of my recording. Instantly I look around and search for him but he is gone. Seyeon who has been watching me walks over to the monitoring desk and talks to Taejoo. Once again she is emitting this strange scary aura.

“Taejoo-shi?”, I can hear her voice clearly. She must have pushed the yellow button.

“Yes?”, Taejoo answers.

“Can I borrow Jun-Oppa for a second?”, she asks innocently while acting cutely. She looks over to me and smirks- being completely aware that I´m listening to their conversation. In other words she pushed the button on purpose…but why?

He chuckles and asks sheepishly: “Why? Are you again going to make out in the dressing room?”

I can see how Seyeon´s mouth moves.

But that devilish woman let go of the yellow button.  

thank you once again for all the nice comments :). i´m always super happy to read your feed-back and encouraging words. i hope you are going to enjoy this chapter :) and i´m sorry that i´m a little late for last weeks chapter T.T. have a great week :)