Junhyung

“Did you hear?”, Taejoo suddenly calls out to me while I was still working on one of our new songs.

“What?”, I ask indifferently.

“I heard two girls of the styling team talking about it in the hallway. Hyunseung and the newbie – there are rumors about them.”, Taejoo continues as he closes the door behind him and walks over to me. He hands a sandwich over to me and sits down.

“What sort of rumors?”, I ask carefully. I feel uneasy all of a sudden.

“No one really knows if they started dating or not. But Hyunseung has been acting fishily.”, my friend restores the things he heard earlier. The uneasiness in my chest is increasing as Taejoo´s words sink in.

I start to unwrap my sandwich and avoid Taejoo´s eyes. Although I didn´t ask for any further explanations he goes on: “ They said that he was asking her all sorts of questions regarding her love life and he even drove her home a couple of times. And the strangest thing was that he explicitly asked for her to join his styling team although she just entered the company a couple of weeks ago.”

I choke down my chicken sandwich but it is tasteless today. That explains why Seyeon hasn´t been around lately. So Hyunseung has already made his move on her. He sure is a smooth operator. Out of the corner of my eye, I see how Taejoo watches me. He seems to be worried. He sure catches on fast.

“You were into her, weren´t you?”, he asks me carefully. His straightforwardness surprises me. I look up to him. I want to reply something, but I don´t know what to say. I just shake my head and turn around.

“She was just cute. Like a little sister. I didn´t see her in another light.”, I reply moments later. It takes me a lot of effort to sound casually but Taejoo doesn´t seem to notice.

“Well then. That´s good, I guess.”, he says while he scrunches up the empty sandwich packaging and throws it into to trash bin, “ A love triangle would definitely affect the team, I guess.”

I just nod and pretend to be immersed in work, while I’m not. But I don´t want to talk about it. Especially not with Taejoo who has been my friend for years.  Sometimes, it is hard to talk to the people closest to you. I sigh. I really thought that Seyeon is cute but I never saw her as a woman, more like a cute dongsaeng.

However the rumor bothers me. To be more precise the whole situation with Seyeon and Hyunseung bothers me. To be even more precise it bothers me because it bothers me. And now try to explain this emotional mess to your best friend. It is impossible. I need to come to terms with my confusion first before I can talk to anybody else about it.

Suddenly Taejoo elbows me. With questioning eyes he looks at me.

“Sorry. Did you say something?”, I ask surprised.

“I just said that we can start recording soon.”, he states still looking worried.

“Ah, yes. You are right. I will let the others know.”, I reply automatically.

“Yes. That´s a good idea. Please do so.”

“I need to step out for a second. Bathroom.”, I say and get up immediately. My friend doesn´t say anything and just watches me walk out of the door.

Once I’m in the bathroom I take a deep breath and wash my face. I have no clue what is going on with me. This is so unlike me. Is it Seyeon? Maybe I was into her but didn´t realize it? Is that the reason for the unsettled feeling in my chest? I stare at the reflection of myself in the mirror. I wonder if they already went out on a date? Maybe Hangang-river? Walking and holding hands? Chatting while drinking coffee? Cuddling, kissing and…STOP! What on earth is wrong with my chest today? What is this feeling? Automatically I start to beat against my heart and cough dryly. I need to get back to my senses!

“Yes. I´m a man! So what?! I´m going to go for her so stay put and don´t meddle in!”- those were Hyunseung´s words back then. At that time I was taken aback by Hyunseung´s unusual and bolt statement. I never heard Hyunseung talk about a girl before. I mean I heard him talk about hot girls in interviews etc. and he works with Hyuna and so forth, but I never heard him talk about a girl or mention a potential love interest in private. I wonder why that is the case? Maybe because we are not so close? Who knows. I wash my face once again and check the time on my new phone. It is still 11.13 am.

It is still early. Actually we could schedule a recording session for tonight, even if it is on short notice - is what I was thinking as I checked up on my instagram notifications. Junseung- I was tagged on couple stuff – again. Those persistent shippers never learn. Seeing things which are not real and making up weird stories about me and Hyunseung. They really never learn. We are both men after all. I scroll through the pictures – there are thousands and thousands of them – the majority of them just show us standing close to each other and some of them are photo-shopped.

Although a male-male-relationship between us is an impossible thing to believe in, but I understand where they are coming from. Hyunseung is equally appealing to girls and boys, because he is pretty. Even prettier than most girls I know. I mean, hello?! Hyunseung´s fanboys would even put sistar´s fanboys to shame and that´s a fact.

That reminds me of that one quote from the movie antique bakery, I think it was: Rather than doing an ugly girl, I would do a pretty boy- or something across these lines. I can´t really recall the exact wording but if those words are true then they apply to Hyunseung. If he is not pretty than no one is.

[Junhyung enters their little recording studio without realizing that he just admitted to himself that in his eyes Hyunseung is the prettiest person on earth.)

--

Hyunseung

“Where are we headed to?”, Seyeon asks curiously as she looks around and finds everything unfamiliar.

“Before we drop you off at home, we are going to pick up my sister from school.”, I answer shortly. I don´t feel like having a long conversation with Seyeon today because I’m tired and hungry and it is cold and because there was no dance practice I haven´t seen Junhyung for a couple of days – in short I’m in a really bad mood right now.

“Is her school nearby?”, Seyeon asks again. This woman has really no patience.

I just shake my head and look out of the window. I wonder what Junhyung is doing right now. I´m really looking forward to the concerts and the new beast album this summer, because that means that we are going to record and promote together. I really wish those days would come sooner rather than later. I sigh and keep staring out of the window. The weather is really nice today. I plug my headphones into my phone and put them on. If Seyeon wanted to start a conversation again, I blighted it.

After another ten minutes we arrive at Geurim´s school. I can already see a large cluster of girls standing in a corner of the campus. I´m sure Geurim told everybody that I’m going to pick her up today. I sigh once again. It can´t be helped, I guess. It must be difficult to be the sister of an idol star.

Manager-nim pulls the car over – right in front of the group of girls. And there she is, standing in between all these screaming girls, my baby-sister Geurim. She opens the door and gets in the backseat right next to me. I smile and wave at the girls who are standing next to the car. Suddenly I hear a girl screaming:

“How is Junhyung?”

And another one: “Yes! How is Jun-Yeobbo doing? Are you getting along?”

Junseung-shippers! There are Junseung-Shippers among those girls! Thank god, my dear sisters in spirit thank you for your support T.T. Girls really catch on fast. I always tried to be discreet but it is not possible to fully control yourself 24/7. I am a human being after all. I, too, waver sometimes.

Geurim closes the door and puts her seatbelt on. Before she can say something, a surprised Seyeon says:”Wah. I didn’t know that there were still shippers like that around. Screaming something like that in broad daylight – aren´t they ashamed? I´m sure it bothers oppa to hear something so unheard of.”

This woman sure is annoying.

“Excuse me, but who are you?”, Geurim suddenly calls out to Seyeon with a voice as cold as ice.

Seyeon who is seemingly taken aback by Geurim´s coldness answers nervously: “No, excuse me. I´m a blabbermouth. Please forgive me if I was rude or insulted your friends. I didn´t mean to. I´m Choi Seyeon a new styling team member.” She bows politely.

With one eyebrow pulled up Geurim slowly eyes her. “Styling stuff member you say?”, my sister asks once again. Usually Geurim is the nicest and most polite person ever but obviously Seyeon caught her on the wrong foot. Seyeon nervously looks up to me, then to Geurim and nods. An uncomfortable silence follows. I could say something and make Seyeon feel better about herself, but I don´t feel like it. She just badmouthed my last fort of retreat – the shippers who still believe in Junseung and make me want to believe in Junseung, too.

“Ok then. Please take good care of my brother.”, Geurim says in a serious tone.

“Yes, of course. I will work hard for oppa´s  sake.”, Seyeon answers enthusiastically and smiles. Attacking both of us – me and my sister – with a killer aegyo. Those freckles in combination with her dimple sure are powerful.

“How was your day?”, I ask Geurim without paying any further attention to Seyeon. Because I saw her aegyo a bunch of times lately, I´m sort of immune by now. It didn´t have a big impact on me to begin with.

“Good.”, my sister replies, „How was your day?”

“Good.” – is the only thing I can say. It is not even a lie. My day was fun and exciting, I live a life a lot of people would be envies about, but it is not fulfilling – it is tasteless. Geurim looks at me with worried eyes, she already understood by the tone of my voice that nothing is good but she says nothing. She catches on fast. I´m sure that she knew it for the longest time but she never talked or asked me about anything.

“The weather is nice.”, she mentions suddenly.

“Yes. It is.”, I agree and a long silence follows. Seyeon who is sitting in the front seat starts to type something into her phone. I try to unobtrusively lean forward in order to see her display. But I can´t see a thing. The only thing I notice is how Geurim looks at me confusedly as I was trying to sneak peeks at Seyeon´s phone. I feel how I start to blush in shame. Immediately I lean back. Thankfully Seyeon and Manager-nim didn´t notice.

About twenty minutes later we are at our place. I still couldn´t find out who Seyeon was texting to and it bothers me a lot. But I can´t ask her directly either. So before saying our good-byes I tell her t go directly home and rest. If she had to go to the company we could go there together tomorrow. Seyeon blushes cutely and says yes. She smiles and her eyes shape crescent as she waves me good-bye. I don´t dare to look over to Geurim. I´m sure, she thinks that I’m acting fishily. Even I think that I’m acting fishily.

As quickly as possible I get out of the car and head to our house. I can hear how Geurim slams the car door shut.

“Oppa, you go ahead. I´m right behind you.”, my sister calls out to me. Like she said I go ahead without looking back.

--

Geurim

What´s taken this woman so long- I was thinking as I intentionally walk slowly to our house. She must have seen it by now or did she not see my huge red bag on the backseat?

“GEURIM-SHI!”

Bingo. I turn around and pretend to be surprised as Seyeon runs up to me holding up my bag.

“Omo.”, I say and receive my bag, “How could I forget my bag?!” I deliberately left it behind, but well. I smile: “Thank you, Seyeon-shi. Seyeon-shi is a very attentive person.”

She breathes heavily and smiles at me. She is about to say something, but I interrupt her. I don´t have much time before Oppa notices that I’m not following him and I don´t want all my effort to go to vain.

“I´m also quiet attentive, Seyeon-shi.”, I hiss at her in a serious tone and grab her wrist. Her eyes widen in shock as I pull her closer: “Listen woman. You are too obvious. It just took me seconds to understand that you are in love with my brother.” She blushes by my bold statement.

“Give up. Now. Know your place. My brother is in love with someone else.”, I enlighten her harshly. Her shocked face-expression is suddenly overshadowed by sadness and a hint of disbelieve.

“Someone like you can never win my Oppa´s love over – “, I wanted to add something but Seyeon suddenly breaks free and pushes me back. It is like a switch got flipped. There are no signs of her usual cuteness.

“Yah! I was trying to respect you, because you are Oppa´s cute baby sister, but what´s with your attitude?!”, she pants with rage, “ I´m older than you!” before I can speak up, she goes on: “ What´s with the “someone like you” part?!” Fuming with rage she pushes me again- harder than previously.

Coldly, I state the obvious as I say: “You are a thug. No doubt about that. You have a foul mouth and a bad attitude. You don´t even hesitate to recourse to physical violence. You are no good.”

“So what?! So I have a bad temper?! And a foul mouth and a violent nature! I´m not going to give up on Oppa.”, she talks back to me shamelessly. This woman is dangerous. Really dangerous – I think to myself.

“Let me enlighten you.”, I try to reason with her, “My brother is in love with someone else. Over the last couple of years I saw a bunch of others of your ilk. They came and left. Oppa never wavered. You won´t be an exception.”

“Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate your concern, but I’m going to be the exception!”, she snaps at me.  

This woman sure irritates me. Not just that I get those Go Hara  - vibes from her looks, but her temper and attitude are one of a kind. Now that she has shown me her true colors I must warn Oppa.

Suddenly her phone rings. She looks at her display and picks up.

“Junhyung-shi?”

This is bad.

“To the company? Now?”

This is really bad.

“Yes. Of course. I will head there immediately.” Without saying her good-bye´s to me she speedily sets off to the car.

 “Who is she talking to?”, a familiar voice asks me out of the blue. As I turn around I see Oppa curiously watching Seyeon. He seems to be tensed up and restless as he once again asks who she is talking to.

“Her mother called.”, I lie , “Let´s go inside. Do we still have soju? I feel like drinking today.”

This is really really bad.