Hi,

I’m so tired.

It’s Saturday night. I’m supposed to get out and let loose like everybody my age does. Instead, I’m here studying for an exam and about to fall asleep because of it.

Whining about school won’t help, right? The more you whine about something, the more you end up ignoring it. Mom always says it’s alright to complain in the spur of the moment, but then you have to go out there and fix it, one way or another. The more you waste your breath, the more you’ll regret it, since you’re not going anywhere, right? Or something like that. Mothers are really wise, don’t you think? Not all since there are cases like my head of an aunt, but whenever they scold you, they know what to say to make it seem like it’s alright, even if they somehow manage to make you feel guilty at the same time. At least, that’s what my mom does.

I really love my mom, man. She was sick this week, so I’ve been worrying like crazy. I’ve complained to her about working all the time and never taking a rest. Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have done it. Of course she works hard. Of course she rarely rests. She has a household to maintain and I cannot imagine what would happen to our family without her. It’s like one of those beginnings that have no solid ground but as time goes by, you realize it’s been a good choice since you played it smart and built the foundation yourself. It probably doesn’t make much sense but point is… I don’t give a damn about the exam. I just want to cuddle with my mom and listen to her embarrassing stories about my childhood.

I can’t do that. I have this stupid exam. Also, I think she went to bed after she took her meds. It’s kind of weird, this love we take for granted from our parents. And how hard it is to say “I love you”. It just feels… odd, out of place, yet strangely warm. I want to tell her that I love her, but… you don’t always need words, you know? I bet she already hears “I love you” a gazillion times a day just by looking at me.

Anyway, I didn’t open my mail to depress you.

Uh, I left off with Taemin buying bubble tea? Yeah, something like that. We actually didn’t talk that much (yeah, I skimmed over my last mail, just to make sure I hadn’t written anything strange – like the other mails have been normal ugh). What fazes me is that it took so long to find out his name. It wasn’t something that came to me back then. I called him the rooftop boy, boy ghost or the occasional cutie (he didn’t know any of t