Alimentum - CamilleVendetta
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CamilleVendetta
request on: 10/20/15
REVIEWER: kpoperrose
finished on: 10/29/15
score: 80/100
Title: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - Does the title ties in legitimately with the story and its plot.
The title means food in latin and the story's about an eating disorder so it's still somehow connected.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - Is the title interesting? does it hook a reader's attention right away.
The title sounded kind of odd to me and I wanted to know what it meant.
original (4/4) - is it a too common, cliche, or vague title or is it new and refreshing?
There isn't a story I've seen with the same title.
story's foreword/description (6/10)
story's summary (1/5) - how intridguing is the description? does it lure in readers at first sight?
The summary did not intrigue me enough to make me read it.
appearance (5/5) - How organize and nice it appears versus how messy and unorganize it is.
It was pleasant to the eyes.
characters/casts (4/10)
character development (3/5) - From beginning to ending, have any of the characters changed due to events, etc.
There wasn't any evident character change in Minseok as he's always been grasping for control.
character's relations (1/5) - Are the character's interactions realistic or believable.
There was little to no character interaction. The only reason thescore didn't drop any lower was because of the tiny interaction between Junmyeon and him when Junmyeon told him to weigh himself and they ended up glaring at each other.
the author's mindset (33/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - HOW MUCH OF THE STORY ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE? OR IS RELATABLE?
There are some people who are obsessed with losing weight and people who just crave and need ultimate control in their lives.
ORIGINALITY (7/10) - IS THE STORYLINE TOO CLICHE OR IS IT NEW?
The storyline itself is pretty cliche but it'a different kind of cliche.
TONE (5/5) - DID THE AUTHOR USE THEIR OWN VOICE? DID THEY THOUGHT ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF THEIR VOICE?
The authot did use their own voice as the whole story was based on her.
NARRATION (5/5) - WHAT POV(S) ARE/IS BEING USED? AND DOES THE STYLE DISTRACT READERS FROM THE STORY'S CONTENTS ITSELF.
It is written in the first point of view and I felt that it really helped the readers understand what was going on in Minseok's head.
STORYLINE (6/10) - ALL IN ALL, HOW WAS THE STORY'S PLOT AND STORYLINE. DID IT HAVE A PLOT? ANY MORALS? DID IT TEACH THE READERS ANYTHING? AND WAS IT SMOOTH OR ROUGH?
The storyline itself was pretty smooth and doesn't cause the reader a hard time. Even though the morals were expressed in the story, it was subtly expressed and not very straightforward. The moral itself was in the foreword.
proper use of the english language (24/25)
proper grammar/punctuation (10/10) - how well were grammar and punctunation used.
There were no noticeable grammatical errors.
termonology (4/5) - How was vocabulary? was it limited or expanded?
I didn't see fancy words but it wasn't like it was limited.
language barrier (10/10) - Was "oppa", "ani", "kawaii", etc used too much? did it go from "mom I love you" to "omma nan saranghaeyo" or something of the like? was there too much korean expressions in a story with english as the main language?
There was nothing like that.
Reviewer's enjoyment (3/5)
I felt that it was a bit too rushed so I didn't really have the chance to connect with Minseok.
A Little message from me
I felt like there could've been more to the story and that the first chapter was just a prologue. I know that you gave a link to another story of yours but I'm only supposed to give my review on this one.
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