The Gentlewoman's Club - lilyemc

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
--BLK's--
--Reviews-
reminder
///////////////
Bonus: [Your questions and focuses
for us here]
 
Do you have any theories surrounding
the mystery of Sehun Oh's death?
 
 - I do, in fact i have three. my three
theories may be that sehun acutally
isn't dead and is still alive, or he
commited suicide/really killed by
moonbyul. or sehun somehow became 
moonbyul and thus she is the one dead. 
 
to back up the three theories, i used
the three "guiding rules". 
 
1. Don't talk about the gentlewoman's
club. so here, sure they do not speak
of the club, but i find moonbyul 
relying on the ladies skills more than
the other members. 
 
2. don't wear pink on fridays: sehun's
maybe so called death must have not or
have took place on a friday?
because pink is also a color very close
to red, and especially since it's a more
censored color, the color pink of
anyone's clothings can either hide the
blood (making fridays, easy days to
kill) or it is a day where one must not
kill and only focus on wednesdays. 
(strictkly busy days are wednesdays)
 
3. don't kill and tell. how it's don't
kill and tell and not don't kill or tell
leads me to believe that the girls do
kill but one must not tell. or they 
do not kill and do not tell. but if 
they do kill and not tell, i can also 
see how and why sehun may be alive and
moonbyul could have been the dead one.
 
but all in all, i believe none of my 
theories actually made sense or work.
 
 
♦Feel free to message us personally
with any concerns. 
♦ PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT
OUR SHOP'S LOGO/BANNER IN YOUR
STORY'S FOREWORD!
♦ thank you for choosing blk
reviews and for your patience!
♦ hope to see you visit again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
lilyemc
request on: 9/25/15
reviewer: Kaihleelo
finished on: 9/26/15
score: 95.5/100
Title: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - absolutely has everything to do with the story.  
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - i found it quite an eye-catcher, then again i'm a er for groups/clubs that makes a story. 
original (4/4) - the gentleman club is probably heard of before but not gentlewoman. so full grade here. 
 
story's foreword/description (9/10)
story's summary (4/5) - it's pretty intridguing but it didn't make me go, 'oh, how exciting!' in fact it lacks a hook. 
appearance (5/5) - i'd say it's simple, clean, and well organized. 
 
characters/casts (10/10)
character development (5/5) - with the number of characters, i can see where one's already developed characterticis are slowly expanding. and since we're only eight chapters in, i'm sure you'll bring out more development of each character into sight. 
character's relations (5/5) - The relations among and between all characters are easy to follow and can be realisitcally imagined or seen. 
 
the author's mindset (38/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - instead of a story with logic, it's more of a story where the readers will have to use their own logic to solve. the story itself is a mysterious piece. 
ORIGINALITY (10/10) i found the story very new and original. sure, there are stories with the idea of putting a group in a club or group to create the story with. but you did an amazing job by giving every character a role that kept all blended in with the common person. 
TONE (4/5) - in the beginning i couldn't understand your story since i know most people doesn't speak in that tone, where everything is metaphoric and/or uses such a large vocabulary. it was until the very few last chapters where i could see you telling the story in your voice. 
NARRATION (5/5) - you used third person pov throughout the story so kudos to you. and with the short and choppy sentences, it felt like i was reading a poem, or least hearing a poem from you as the author. 
STORYLINE (9/10) - to be honest the pace of the story still confuses me no matter how many times i've re-read the passage. but basically the story goes about the lives of the members of the clubs, and how their perfect image from the beginning wasn't perfect after all. but the storyline itself is a must read. 
 
proper use of the english language (24/25)
proper grammar/punctuation (10/10) - you said english is your first language and i believe you. i spotted a few hiccups here and there but otherwise very little to no mistakes were spotted. 
 
the only suggestion i'd like to make is try to shift some sentences around. i felt like some sentences were meant to go before another. for example the part with the sundays as "family night". it was difficult to fully understand that small paragraph. the 'could' at the end of the sentence kept throwing me off. and till now i don't fully get what you mean? i suppose you mean, mr. byun is being himself, but how it was worded caused some distractions. 
 
termonology (4/5) - you were on top of it, however as someone with an obviously more limited vocabulary book than yours, i had to end up looking up too many words to fully understand the story's context. i suggest using even simple terms just because most aff readers aren't advanced readers. (like me for example. and we'd love your story even more if we can just understand it more)
language barrier (10/10) - there were no random korean words or say korean expressions here whatsoever. so here's a full grade for this one!
 
Reviewer's enjoyment (4.5/5)
i love mystery stories such as yours and i love it even more when there are many references from a variety of sources. however, i just wish it was an easier read. i can't count how many times i had to read certain lines and paragraphs just to understand it.
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Comments

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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.