Warning: A sad chapter. This chapter made me cry while writing it. I suggest that you listen to Super Junior's Love Disease and She's GoneGone while reading this chapter

Note: I wasn't able to edit this when I pasted it here so to guide you, lines which are enclosed by a single quote are character's thoughts.

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Chapter 32

“Mr. Choi, someone’s here to see you.” Siwon’s secretary called.

“Who’s it?” he asked stopping what he’s been doing.

“Kim Taeyeon, sir.” she replied.

“Taeyeon? Let her in.” he said.

After a few seconds, Taeyeon entered his office, “Hi...” she greeted him with a smile.

“Hi,” he greeted back, “what brought you here?” he stood up from his seat and greeted his girlfriend. He lead him to the sofa. “Have a seat.” he offered as they both sat down.

“You look… pale.” she frowned, “Are you alright?” she said worriedly.

“Yeah… I’m fine.” he smiled though the truth is he’s been having headaches since he got in the office.

“Well, you don’t look fine to me. Have you ever eaten anything?”

“Actually… I haven’t eaten anything since I came in the office. I’ve been very occupied with work so I didn’t even thought of having a break.” He explained.

Taeyeon sighed, “Stubborn… here…” she put the food she bought before coming to his office on the table.

He looked surprised at the amount of food she brought, “Taeyeon… that’s a lot.”

“Well, because you only ate a bowl of soup earlier, I thought you’re hungry so I brought these. I don’t even know which would you like to eat so I bought a lot for you to choose.” she paused, “And I also bought your medicines.”

“Medicines?” he asked in confusion.

“Yeah… Ms. Jessica bought these and told me you have to drink these medicines - for your headache and your liver. She told me you’re not really a drinker and that you have a liver problem.”

He looked at her in disbelief, ‘No one knew my condition except… Tiffany… but how? Tiffany’s gone… how did Jessica knew about it?’

“Siwon, is there a problem?” she interrupted.

“No--nothing!” he exclaimed, “Uhmm… do you know how did Jessica knew about my condition?”

She shook her head, “I don’t know. She just gave me these and told me about your condition.”

He looked away from her and continued to wonder how did his friend knew about it. He knows that Tiffany wouldn’t tell anyone. Out of all his friends, she trusted Tiffany the most.

Taeyeon felt hurt at the thought that Siwon has no intention to tell her about his condition, “So… you don’t have any plan to tell me about your condition? If Ms. Jessica hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known about it.” she sighed and avoided looking at him.

“Taeyeon, it’s not--” he tried to explain.

“It’s alright.” she faked a smile, “Maybe I’ll just leave so you could have a meal and drink your medicines. Ms. Jessica said, you have to drink each of these every other meal.” She continued to avoid looking at him, “If you can’t eat all of this, you can give it to your secretary or to anyone or just throw it away.” she stood up and walk towards the door of his office.

“Taeyeon, I--” before he could say anything, his girlfriend had already left the room.

After she left, he looked at the food and the medicines on the table and still wondering how his friend knew of his condition and thought of the possible answer to his question. ‘Does she knew?’

He stood up and took his phone and dialled her friend’s number. ‘There’s only one way to find out.”

“Hello?”

“Tell me where does she live.” he said with a firm voice.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Just tell me where Yoona lives, Jess!” He raised his voice a bit.

“Yoona? Why would you want to know where she lives?” she nervously asked and was shocked at his request.

“Then tell me, how did you know about my headaches and liver problem? Tiffany was the only person who knew about it and she promised me that she will not tell a single soul.”

The person on the other line was speechless.

“Now, tell me, how did you know?”

She sighed, “Siwon…” she went silent. She doesn’t know what to tell her friend now that she’s cornered.

“Just tell me, Jessica, please.” he begged, “Don’t you even know how difficult is this for me? I’m hurt and at the same time, I’m hurting the person who cares for me a lot… I’m hurting Taeyeon. I’m hiding too much from her.” he said rubbing his head because of the continuous headache, “And the thing between me and Yoona still doesn’t have any closure.” he paused, “Jessica, if you really want me to move on, please, help me… help me to have a closure with her… I want to know what happened… why she left me… please.” he said as tears are now visible in his eyes. He was desperate - desperate to know if she still care… if she still love him - because he know, deep inside, even if she had left him, even if she had hurt him, if she would just tell him that she still loves him, he would come back to her without any hesitation. Because he knows that he still love her.

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Ding dong ding dong ding dong

“Wait a minute!” Yoona shouted from her room and hurriedly went to her door to see who’s the impatient person messing up with her doorbell. After Ryeowook left, she didn't expect another visitor. “Can’t you even wait for a sec--” she stopped as soon as she had opened her door when he saw who’s behind it, “Si-Siwon?” he was just looking straight at her. “Wha-what are you doing here?” she stuttered, “How did you… how did you know where I live?”

“Jessica” he replied nonchalantly, “Aren’t you gonna let me in?”

“Oh… yes… co-come in…” she made a way for him and lead him inside, “Do you want anything? Tea? Coffee? Juice?” she followed behind him as he entered and then he stopped walking, “I’ll get you some tea.” she offered remembering that Siwon would alway want some when he has headache. It would always make him feel better.

When she was about to leave to get him some drink, Siwon held her wrist to stop her from leaving, “That time when I was hospitalized, you were there… it wasn’t a dream, right?” he looked at her as he looks for answers to his questions, “I heard your voice… you were talking to Tiffany, right?” ‘Please, tell me I’m right?’

“Siwon…”

“You were there, right?” he asked again.

Yoona looked away and didn’t answer his question. She was afraid that if she continue to look at him, she would give in to him.

“Yoona…” he called with a stern voice, begging for answers.

“I’ll get you some tea for your headache.” she said, pulling her hand from his grasp but he didn’t let go.

“How did you know? How did you know that my head is aching right now?”

She looked at him, not aware of the mistake she had said.

“You were there! You were with Tiffany! I knew it wasn’t a dream! You were the one who sent those medicines to Jessica.” he said, confirming his suspicions because of her mistake.

She forcefully pulled her hand from him, “What difference would it make if you knew I was there? If you knew I was the one who sent those medicines?

‘It would make a lot of difference, Yoona… I would know that you still care for me… that you still love me…’

“Why don’t you just tell me the truth? Why are you making it difficult for us?” he looked at her in pain, “Why are you making it difficult for me?” ‘Yoona, please…’

She looked away.

“Just tell me everything, Yoona!” he shouted frustratingly, “Ever since you came back, I would always ask myself, why did you leave me? Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Was there something wrong about me? I’m tired of asking myself those questions every time and I feel like I’m going insane!” he covered his face as his tears have already rolled down from his eyes.

Yoona can only look at him apologetically, still stopping her tears from falling. She wants to go to him, pull him in her arms, to at least lessen the pain but she can’t. She loves him. It never changed. She still love him and seeing him like this, doubles the pain she feels. She doesn’t want to do this but she has to.

‘I’m sorry… please, forgive me… I don’t want you to be hurt more than this. It’s much better if you don’t know yet. I don’t want you to hate the person who’s been a father to you, the person you trust your whole life. I have to do this… alone. Please… don’t force me anymore…’

“Why did you have to come back when I’m now ready to forget about you? When I’ve decided not to look for answers anymore? Now that I’ve decided to let someone in my life again… and now I’m hurting her…”

She closed her eyes at what she heard. He wants to move on but she’s the reason he can’t. ‘I must’ve hurt you that much.’

“Yoona,” he called her as she looked at him, “I want to start anew but for me to do it, I need to have a closure with you because I’m being unfair to her.” he calmly explained.

She might sound selfish but she wished that time that he wouldn’t be able to love anyone but her… ‘but you’re doing it right, Siwon. I don’t deserve you and you don’t deserve me. I will only hurt you. You deserve someone better…’

“I need to know everything. Why did you leave? Why did you break up with me? I need to know for me to move on and start new.” he said in a whisper, taking a step forward.

She saw the pleading look he has.

“Please…” he frowned, stopping his tears to drop from his eyes.

Yoona closed her eyes, avoiding to look at him. A little move she knows, she’ll give in. Though she looks strong outside but she’s weak when it comes to him but she has to endure it. “I’m sorry…” she said in a sob.

“Stop apologizing, Yoona!” he shouted, hearing his most hated word, “Stop saying you’re sorry because that’s not what I want to hear right now! I need explanation! I need a reason! Why can’t you just give me that?!

“Because you’ll just be hurt more than this and I don’t want that to happen, Siwon!” she shouted at him. All the pain, all the hurt, frustration, she released through those words, “Stop asking me, please!” she pleaded, “I have a reason why I came back...just--just let me do it alone… please…” she broke down.

Siwon was confused to what his ex was trying to say, “Am I not hurt enough, Yoona?”

“I’m sorry… please, forgive me for leaving, for not telling you any reason… but please, don’t ask me anymore.” she begged.

It broke his heart that she’s hurt like he is. He took another step forward and held her face to look at him and wiped her tears. “Then… just answer this question…” he looked at her “...just this question…” he whispered, “...do you still love me?”

She closed her eyes, ‘Not that question…’

“Look at me and answer me, Yoona…” he paused and looked at her longingly, “do you still love me?” he asked again. ‘Because if you say yes I’ll forget everything you did that hurt me and I’ll fight for us.’

‘I do, Siwon! I still do… I still love you and it never changed… there wasn’t a second in that two years that I never thought of you…’ She just wanted to shout it to him but she can’t because she knows it’ll ruin everything she had planned for the justice of her parents. ‘...but I need you to stay away from me because I don’t want you to get involved… I’m sorry…’

“Yoona… answer me… yes or no?” he pleaded more.

She looked at him in the eyes, “No…” she answered taking a deep breath.

‘You’re lying…’

“I only felt guilt and pity for you right now. I came for you… yes… but I don’t feel anything more than these… I’m sorry…” she lied.

Siwon retreated his hands and took a step back, away from her. He took another glance at her and she looked away. “I guess… I guess… we’re really over…” he walked slowly towards the door never did he look back. He didn’t want her to see his tears running down his face.

Yoona just looked at the back of the man she truly loves as he walks away from her. As soon as the door closed, her tears rolled down from her eyes continuo