Chapter 5 – Out of It

            I stared at my ceiling, the new morning’s sun sneaking in through my curtains and running across my face.  Memories of what happened last night flashed through my head and I could feel my face flush again.  Siwon does really like me.  There’s no other excuse for it.  But why?  Why didn’t I notice it earlier and stop it at its earlier stages?

            Oh.  Right.  I was unemotional until last year.

            But how am I supposed to let him down?  I wish I could ask someone else for advice, but Siwon is the one I typically go to when I have questions.  How about Jungsu?  No, that’ll be a bit weird.

            I sighed as I sat up from my bed and ran my fingers through my tangled hair.  I need to focus.  And quick.

            “Okay,” Jungsu said, walking through the double office doors.  He quickly turned to Sungmin.  “I really hope you don’t mind, but I’m here to bother Mr. Cho for a bit.”  Sungmin nodded, seemingly curious as to what Jungsu was about to say.

            “Yes,” I asked, putting down a file as I raised an eyebrow.

            He walked over and stood right in front of my desk.  He was typically shorter than me, but since I was sitting down, he was towering over me with a little look of frustration.  He flipped his hair to the side and raised an eyebrow.  “What happened last night,” he asked, raising a finger to stop me from talking.  “Don’t deny something happened.  You’ve been a complete and utter ditz this whole day.  You’ve been shocked ‘awake’ five times this whole day. You weren’t listening to the proposals earlier this morning.  You didn’t touch your lunch with Eunhae.  You haven’t finished a single paperwork.”  He glanced down at the file in my hand and I looked down, noticing that I’ve been on the same page since this morning.  “What happened?”

            Jungsu glared into my eyes and I sighed for the umpteenth time.  “I thought this was supposed to be a professional relationship Mr. Park,” I muttered, looking up at him.

            A seemingly pained expression flashed through his face, which hurt me too.  I knew this wasn’t our whole relationship.  He was the second person closest to me after Siwon.  But he recovered quickly.  “You’re an idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes.  “This is affecting your work.  Hence, it’s affecting the business.  Hence, it does qualify as a topic of conversation.”

            I leaned back against my chair, giving up.  “He did and said somethings that shocked me,” I muttered, closing my eyes for a little bit to ignore the quick flashes of memories.  “I don’t think I’m still quite used to emotions yet.”

            “I’m pretty sure that’s not all it,” he said, his expression softening.  “He’s been confessing to you for a while now, you should be used to it.”

            I shrugged, causing him to lift an eyebrow again.  “He did something else, didn’t he,” he asked, settling into one of the chairs in front of me.

            I could feel my cheeks heat up and I looked away from the pair of eyes staring a hole through my head.  “He…,” I began, scratching the back of my head.  “He did something to me when he was dropping me off at my house.”

            Jungsu’s eyes widened to the point where I thought his eyes would pop out.  “He kissed you, didn’t he,” he half yelled, slapping his knee as he started laughing.  “Who would have thought Mr. Prince Charming would aim for a kiss after the first date!”

            I hid my face with my hands, feeling my face flush more.  “It was just on the cheeks,” I muttered, feeling really embarrassed.

            Jungsu wouldn’t stop laughing at me.  “Still, he kissed you good night,” he exclaimed, standing up.  “Oh dear, you had me worried all day because of that?”

            “Why do you make it sound like it’s such a simple thing,” I muttered, peeking out through my hands.

            He sighed, giving me a smile.  “Our pure and innocent heir has a many things to learn,” he said, leaning over the table to ruffle my hair, causing me to drop my hands and slap him away.  He turned to Sungmin, mischief glinting through his eyes.  I almost forgot he was there.  “Mr. Lee, watch our poor CEO, won’t you?”

            Sungmin smiled and nodded.  “Of course,” he said, not even looking at me.

            “And you, Mr. Cho,” Jungsu said, turning his attention back to me.  “Think about whatever Siwon had to say as well as that adorable kiss.  I think it’s time for you to experience a little bit of love.”

            I shook my head.  “I don’t love him that way,” I muttered, looking straight into Jungsu’s eyes.

            “You can always learn to,” he said, winking before he walked to the door.  “By the way, you’re having dinner with Mr. Kim and Mr. Han today to discuss the plans. That includes you too Mr. Lee.”

            We nodded and Jungsu left us alone.

            “Can I have your paperworks for the project,” I asked, turning my attention to Sungmin.

            He nodded, staying silent as he walked over to me, papers in hand. He never once looked up to face me.  “I turned in some of the other files earlier this morning,” he said, setting the papers down.

            I grabbed the papers and filed through them.  I quickly glanced up to try to meet his eyes, but he wouldn’t let me.  “Is something wrong Mr. Lee,” I asked, continuing to file through my papers.

            Sungmin shook his head before taking a deep breath.  He then looked up to gaze into my eyes.  There was something there that I couldn’t read completely.  He seemed pained?  Hurt?  Disappointed?  Whatever it was, I couldn’t read it before he looked away.  “I’m just a bit tired Mr. Cho,” he said, barely above a whisper.

            “Oh,” I whispered, trying to focus on the paper work in front of me.  “Why don’t you take a break then before dinner?  Go out and get some coffee.”

            He could only nod before walking away and grabbing his coat.  “I’ll be back before dinner,” was the only thing he said as I watched him walk out the door. 

            He lost the glint in his eyes.

            “Kyuhyun,” Hangeng exclaimed, standing up from the table they had settled at to greet me.

            “Hangeng,” I said, getting crushed into a tight hug.

            We were settled near the back of the restaurant.  Hangeng and Heechul sat beside each other, both dressed in matching beige suits.  Sungmin and Jungsu sat on my left, both dressed in their black suits from work.  “We’re just waiting for one more person,” Heechul said, giving me a small smile.  “He’ll be in charge of the fabrics and patterns.”

            “Oh, I didn’t hear about this,” I said, turning to Jungsu for explanation.

            Jungsu lifted an eyebrow in response.  “We discussed this quite a while ago,” he said.  “You were the one who approved it.”

            I mentally slapped myself while chuckling nervously.  “Right,” I muttered, taking a sip of water.  “Who is it again?”

            I felt a hand on my shoulders and traced my eyes up to spot a smiling Siwon. 

            No.

            “Hey Kyuhyun,” he greeted, squeezing my shoulders before taking the only empty chair beside me.

            I could only stare at him blankly.  “Stop drooling,” Heechul snapped, taking me back to reality.

            I turned to Heechul and glared at him.  “I’m not drooling,” I snapped back.

            Heechul rolled his eyes as Hangeng lifted up a hand to stop him.  Jungsu and Siwon couldn’t help but laugh at our exchanges and Sungmin looked on, seeming to be a bit uncomfortable.  I turned to him and gave his shoulder a small pat.  “Sorry, we’re all fairly close to each other,” I explained.

            Sungmin looked at me and, for the first time today, gave me a small smile and nodded.  “I’m fine,” he muttered.

            “Okay,” Hangeng said, getting everyone’s attention.  “Shall we order and get started?”

            That was basically how the whole dinner went.  We ordered our food, discussed business, and ate.  It was pretty normal except for the fact that Siwon couldn’t help but keep looking at me throughout the whole event.  I tried to keep my gaze away in order to stop form blushing, focusing my attention to Sungmin instead, whose smile kept growing as the night passed.

            “You’ve come pretty far,” I commented, after listening to Sungmin’s back story.

            “Yeah,” he said, looking into my eyes as I settled my cheeks down onto my palms.  “I’m really thankful for my parents’ support.”

            I could only smile, feeling happy that he was finally smiling.  I reached out to gently brush the hair away from his face.  He flinched, but let me.  I could see a slight pink tint slowly reach his cheeks.  “I’m relieved you were only tired,” I whispered.  “I was worried something bad happened.”

            His smile grew at my comment and all my thoughts seemed to disappear as I lost myself in his eyes.  “You worry too much,” he whispered back, flipping his hair back. 

            We continued to look into each other’s eyes.  I wonder if anyone’s ever told him how nice it is that his eyes twinkle when he smiles.  Or that his lips are perfectly shaped and warm.  Or that his hair compliments his face perfectly. 

            Wait.  I’m stupid.  I’m pretty sure his boyfriend has told him that many times.

            “Hey, you flirt,” Heechul exclaimed, snapping us out of our gaze.  I turned to him quickly, trying to hide the blush forming on my cheeks.  What the heck is wrong with me this week?  “Stop hitting on all of the single guys!  I thought you were straight!”

            “I am,” I snapped, frowning at him.  “Doesn’t mean I can’t admire beautiful things when they’re right in front of me.”

            Heechul’s eyebrows went up and I could feel everyone’s gaze on me.  “What,” I asked, confused.  “I’m only telling the truth.  You’re pretty beautiful yourself too Heechul.  Don’t get insulted.”

            There was a moment of silence before an eruption of laughter sliced through.  Jungsu was the first to speak.  “Excuse my innocent boss,” he said, rolling his eyes at my reaction.

            I frowned.  “I’m not that innocent,” I said with a ‘hmph’.

            The laughter only got louder.  “Says the guy who just found a year ago what feelings are,” Siwon teased.

            I frowned even more but couldn’t think of anything to say because they were telling the truth.  “It’s getting late,” Hangeng finally interrupted, checking his watch.  “We would love to stay longer, but Donghae and Eunhyuk only promised to babysit for three hours.”

            “Ahh, the bundle of joy,” Jungsu said, staring off into the distance.

            Heechul could only smile as Hangeng, the gentleman he was, gentle helped him out of his chair and led him out of the restaurant after saying their goodbyes.  “I better get going too,” Jungsu said, grabbing his jacket from the waiter.  “I have to go to another dinner tonight.”

            We said our good byes to him too and he left rather quickly, leaving me with Siwon and Sungmin, one of which I didn’t want to be alone with.  “Shall I take you home Sungmin,” I asked, grabbing my own jacket.

            “You really don’t have to,” Sungmin said, shrugging on his own jacket.

            “But I insist,” I said, helping him put his jacket on as he struggled with his left arm.

            Siwon hadn’t said a word, which was slightly surprising.  Sungmin sighed and turned to me, giving me a smile.  “Then if you insist,” he said, bowing to Siwon.  “Good night Mr. Choi.  I’ll wait outside.”

            I watched Sungmin exit the restaurant before turning to Siwon.  “I assume you have your own ride home,” I tried to ask casually, struggling to meet his eyes. 

            Siwon stood up and walked towards me before gently brushing a piece of hair away from my face.  “You like him, don’t you,” he said, putting his finger on my lips before I could protest.  “I know you don’t know what love is or what these feelings are and you’re probably doing everything without thinking too much about it.  But Kyuhyun, let me just tell you one thing.”  He dropped his finger from my lips.  “I don’t intend to give up easily but I will support your decisions.  Good night.”  With that, he gently patted my shoulder before walking out of the restaurant.

            I could only watch his back before rushing out in attempt to catch him, but it was too late.

            I like Sungmin?

            No, I’m pretty sure I don’t.

            These feelings are only that of gratitude, nothing else.

            I nodded to myself and walked towards the man sitting on the bench, happily waiting for me to walk him home.

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A/N:  Hey, so, how was it?  I wanted to release this yesterday to go along with Leeteuk’s birthday, but it’s not too late!  It’s still July 1 in America!!  So, with that, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEETEUK!  Thank you for being an amazing leader and father to all of our 14 boys!  SJ Fighting!!

Well, what do you think of this chapter?  Am I going too slow?  Am I going to fast?  Are things not making sense?  And if you’re worried about Kyuhyun’s feelings, don’t worry, he’s about to have another inner monologue soon to explain more.

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