Chapter 11 - I Don't Understand
Til I Reach You
Chapter 11 – I Don’t Understand
Did I ask Sungmin to come with me or did I just ask him to the party? I snapped my eyes wide open and sat up from my bed. I forgot, didn’t I? I slipped on my glasses and looked at the clock. Nine o’clock. It’s not too late then. I’m lucky I didn’t wake up late today. I sighed before grabbing my phone from my night stand.
Kyuhyun: I forgot to ask you, but would you like me to pick you up for the party?
I set my phone beside me while I cuddled up with my blankets. So warm. Gosh, I can’t believe I almost forgot to ask him. How rude would that have been? I continued to cuddle with my blankets until I heard my phone ‘ding’.
Sungmin: Won’t it be too much trouble though?
I chuckled. He worries too much.
Kyuhyun: Of course not. Plus, it’d be nice to arrive with someone, don’t you think?
Sungmin: Hmm…you make a good point. I shall accept then.
Kyuhyun: Good! Six o’clock then?
Sungmin: Yes! Thanks Kyu! I’ll see you then! >.<
I smiled at the emoticon before putting my phone down. I cuddled up with my blankets again. Why can’t the room be this warm?
I stepped out of my house, deciding that it would be best to get a cup of coffee and lunch as I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. I really need to learn how to cook. I walked into the neighborhood café and ordered my regular cup before taking a seat next to a window. I glanced outside and felt a sense of de ja vu. It felt as if I had gone back to last year as I watched person after person pass by. However, this time, I felt no sense of emptiness or darkness in me. Actually, I felt full of life and a sense of happiness and purpose. As to what purpose I had in life though, I have yet to find out. But, the need to question my emotions and my life did not cloud my mind as they had back then.
I grabbed a hold of my coffee and took a sip, careful not to burn my tongue. I smiled at the familiar taste before taking a look back outside again before a deep voice interrupted my thoughts. “Good afternoon sir, would you care for anything with that cup of coffee,” a man asked, giving me a smile.
I smiled back. “Actually, a BLT sandwich would be great right now,” I said as the cakes behind the man caught my eye. Wow they’re pretty. I bet Sungmin would like that pink one.
His gaze followed mine and his smile grew even more. “Have the cakes captured your attention,” he asked.
“Actually yes,” I said, nodding. “I think my friend would like that nice pink cake over there. Would you be able to wrap it up for me?” I had my eye on a tiny circular pink cake on the right most side. It had different layers of pink and a bow with pearls on top. Sungmin would love it, considering the fact that it was as pink as his living room. I just hope it tastes good too.
The man chuckled. “Of course,” he said, taking down my order. “I’m sure your girlfriend would love it. It’s one of our best sellers!”
“Oh no, it’s not for my girlfriend,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s actually just a friend.”
The man’s smile didn’t fade and he continued to laugh. “That’s what they all say,” he teased as he walked to the counter to fix up my order.
I felt my cheeks begin to blush. This is a friendly gesture. It doesn’t mean more than that. Friends bring other friends gifts. Yep. I brushed my fingers through my hair before focusing my attention back to the cup of coffee in front of me. I twiddled with my thumbs as Sungmin’s words popped into my head.
And I think I’m still in love with you right now.
Of course I’ll wait for you.
I felt my stomach twist and my heart skip a beat. Oh dear shisus, what is wrong with me. I felt my cheeks continue to heat up and I quickly placed my hands on them. How could that whole thing fluster me so easily? I never reacted like this any times Siwon confessed to me. I typically brushed him off with a roll of my eyes. This is first.
Sungmin’s face started to appear in my head and I could clearly see his warm gaze and bright smile. What is happening to me? I waved my hands around in an attempt to clear my head. “Oh my goodness,” I muttered to myself as I felt eyes fall on me. My cheeks continued to heat up. I have seriously got to get out of here.
I watched as the server walked towards me with a cute pink box with a white ribbon and a wrapped up sandwich. “I figured you might want to get out of here after that scene,” he said, handing me my order. “I didn’t think I could fluster you. I’m sorry.”
“Oh no, it’s my fault,” I said, waving my hand as I used the other to grab my orders. “I can’t believe it myself.”
He chuckled. “Your ‘friend’ is a lucky person,” he said, giving me a warm smile.
And with that, I felt my cheeks heat up for the last time. Dear shisus, the world is out to get me. I paid him, telling him to keep the change. I quickly rushed out of the café, feeling people’s gaze on me. I took a deep breathe when the door of the café closed behind me. If I hadn’t been brought back to life by the car honks, I would have missed a couple kissing near the corner of the street.
I squinted, feeling as if I recognized the two. I gasped, realizing who it was. Jungsu pulled away from Kangin, but not enough for Kangin to let his waist go. I watched Jungsu wiped tears away from his eyes before placing his hand on the other’s cheeks and whispering something. With that, Kangin’s grip dropped and Jungsu walked away, but not before meeting my eyes. He paused for a second and I tilted my head. He simply shook his head as he walked another direction, not looking back at Kangin, who stood completely still. Before I could walk over and ask him what had happened, the signs changed and he crossed the street.
Now what the heck did I just see?
I set the cake in the fridge before walking over to the couch with my sandwich. My stomach grumbled, angry that I continued to avoid my lunch. I the television but didn’t pay attention to it, my thoughts on what I had witnessed earlier as I tried to process everything.
Jungsu was kissing Kangin.
But Jungsu was crying.
And Kangin is dating Sung…
Wait…is or was?
Either way, the two are still involved.
But, Sungmin confessed to me yesterday.
Ignoring that, does Kangin like Jungsu? Or moreover, does Jungsu still like him back?
Well, there’s no denying that, especially after the whole incident with him in my office. But then, why did he pull away from him? And why was he crying?
I scratched my head in frustration. I hate not understanding anything. My stomach grumbled again and I gave in, taking a bite of my sandwich. Why does this whole love situation have to be so overcomplicated? Why can’t you just love someone and live happily ever after like they did in those novels? I sighed.
Wait, but I’m also making things more complicated, aren’t I? I told Sungmin to wait for me. What kind of person does that? If you love someone, you should know immediately. Shouldn’t you? But, I barely understand love. How am I supposed to know when I’m ready? What if I’m never ready? Then I might break his heart in the end again. He’ll cry. Oh god, I can’t bear to see him cry.
Perhaps I should let him go now, when everything is just beginning?
But then what’s waiting for me at the end? What if I let him go and realize that I do love him but he already has someone else?
Oh god.
I’m selfish.
I whacked my forehead with the palm of my hands. Do you see this? Do you understand my problem? Why does this have to be so complicated? I scratched my head again before taking another bite of my sandwich. “Oh Sungmin,” I whispered, glancing down at the floor. “Please forgive me for being selfish and asking you to wait for me.”
I sighed before focusing my attention back onto my now really cold sandwich.
Dressed in a tux and a dark blue tie, I happily got into my car with my tiny box of cake. That was until I arrived at Sungmin’s house. His back was turned to me but I could see that he was wearing a white tuxedo. Gosh he looked handsome. I could stare and be happy all night. Unfortunately, the man I had saw kissing Jungsu was standing across from him, listening to the smaller rant. Kangin caught my eye and started to glare at me. Sungmin, noticing his distraction, turned around. I noticed his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. I was right. I don’t want to see him cry. “What the heck are you doing here,” Kangin growled.
“I’m here to pick up Sungmin,” I said, keeping my stand. “And I think I would like to ask you to leave him alone.”
“What right do you have to tell me that,” Kangin asked, continuing to glare at me.
“Kangin…,” Sungmin scolded as he turned his attention back to him.
“I think you of all people know that it’s you who has no right to any of this,” I said, interrupting Sungmin. Oh god, I’m going to get punched again. “Especially because of what you did earlier.”
Sungmin’s eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. Kangin’s eyes seemed as if they would pop out of his head after realizing that I knew what he had done earlier today. “You wouldn’t dare,” he growled, walking towards me.
Sungmin’s hands darted out, stopping him. “Kangin, what does he mean,” Sungmin asked quietly, but I knew he was holding his tears in.
Kangin’s gaze softened as he turned his attention back to him. “Nothing,” he whispered. “Nothing happened.”
He looked into the taller man’s eyes before pulling his hand back and looking away. “Just leave Kangin,” he whispered. “I don’t trust you right now.”
Before Kangin could say anything else, Sungmin walked over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards my car. “Wait, Sungmin,” I said, trying to calm him down.
We stopped in front of my car and he looked up at me, his tears freely falling now. Does he still have feelings for Kangin? “I’m sorry Kyu,” he whispered, letting go of my hand. “Can we just go?”
I sighed and nodded before walking to open the car door for him. He quietly got in and I slowly made my way to the car, but not before catching Kangin’s gaze. He looked sadly over at Sungmin. I felt my heart twist and my breath stop while I got into the car. Do theystill have feelings for each other? Then why did they do what they did? God this is too complicated. I reached for my keys and started the car.
“Are you ready,” I asked as I parked the car.
He had stayed silent the whole way and only moved when he was wiping away his tears. By the time we had arrived, it seemed that his tears had stopped. I turned off the car before facing him. He turned and met my eyes, forcing a smile. “I’m ready,” he choked out.
“You’re a really bad liar,” I said, reaching over to wipe a tear that had escaped his eyes. “But I think it’s cute.”
He started to giggle. “I’m sorry Kyu,” he repeated, holding my hand against his cheek. “I didn’t think he would affect me that much.”
“Do you want to talk about it,” I asked, curious as to what had made him cry.
“I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to talk about it,” he said, his gaze falling to the floor. “I don’t want to think about him.”
I dropped my hand as I felt my heart twist again. What had happened? And how could he still make him cry? “It’s alright,” I muttered, my mood turning bitter.
He noticed the change. “I don’t love him anymore, if that’s what you’re thinking about,” he said softly, trying to meet my gaze. “I don’t want you to think that everything I told you yesterday was just at the heat of the moment. I meant it.”
I gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry,” I said, patting him on his hands. “I believe you.”
He smiled back and started to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Now come on, your parents might get mad that you’re so late,” he said.
“Oh wait,” I said, reaching for the box in the backseat. He watched in confusion as I stuck out the box. “I got you cake. I saw it at the café this afternoon and I couldn’t resist buying it for you.”
His confusion turned into a smile. “Thank you,” he whispered, reaching for the box. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to,” I whispered back, brushing a piece of hair that had fallen on his eyes.
A shade of pink started to appear on his cheeks and he quickly turned away. “But you know Kyuhyun, we’re at a party,” he began, turning back when he controlled himself. “There’s already cake here and I can’t eat this right now.”
I mentally slapped myself on my forehead. “Oh right,” I muttered, feeling embarrassed. “I can store it in their fridge in the meanwhile.”
Sungmin chuckled. “Thank you again,” he said. “This makes me really happy.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the scene in front of me. I guess this was going to be a good night. Little did I know that there would be drama waiting for me inside the mansion.
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A/N: Wow…okay, so I was planning on updating earlier but I was disappointed at what happened. The original had no Kangmin drama scene and also had a much more angstier (is that a word?) KangTeuk scene. But, I decided to re-write it all. So yes, this is the second draft. I hope you guys like this cause I’m pretty happy with it.
Also! Thank you guys so much for your lovely comments! Seriously, this is the most comments I have had for one single chapter! It was a great feeling and even more people subscribed! You guys are amazing, I hope you know that!
By the way, you guys need to watch the Devil Performance video. I still need to watch it because I was only focusing on Kyuhyun the first time and they were just all being their selves and being awesome. I almost missed Leeteuk and his face during Heechul’s rap, which was just adorable. (Also, does anyone know what those posters in the music video mean? Or are they just there?)
Lastly, a quick note. If you haven’t tried out “I Will Forget You” and you love angst, a fluffy Kyuhyun, a warm Yesung/Kyuhyun friendship (no they’re not shipped, it’s purely bromance), lots of drama, and a really angsty Sungmin…click this link:
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