Chapter 10 – In Which the Genuis is an Idiot

            Sungmin’s cheeks continued to heat up and I felt slightly guilty.  However, before I could say anything, he spoke up.  “It’s a really long story,” he whispered, looking away from my face.

            I held the chuckle that threatened to slip from my lips.  I glanced at the watch.  It was lunch time.  “We have quite a bit of time,” I insisted, giving him a small smile. 

            He glanced at his own watch before starting to fidget in his seat.  “W-Well, you see…,” he said, trying to form his words.

            “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” I said, gently patting his hand.

            He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling.  “I don’t even know why I mentioned it,” he said, barely above a whisper.

He then took a deep breath before facing me.  It seemed that he had somewhat managed to control his blush, but he was still slightly nervous.  “I-I’m pretty sure you don’t remember, but, you used to go to a café I worked at,” he began, glancing at my eyes.  My breath hitched.  “As clichéd as it sounds, I noticed that you used to come every day to order a cup of coffee.  However, unlike normal regulars, it was always the same order.  That intrigued me since you never seemed to get tired of it.  I wanted to talk to you, but you always left right after so I never really got the chance to.”

            He remembers me.  Not just that, he’s noticed me all the times before that.  I felt my heart twist.  What is this?  Am I getting sick again?  “But, one day, you decided to take a seat at the café,” he continued, looking down at his hands.  “You seemed like your typical self, but your eyes were empty.  Plus, you hadn’t drunken your coffee at all, so I was a bit worried.  I came up and talked to you then.  You weren’t in the best state and I could remember it in your eyes.”  He laughed to himself.  “I highly doubt you remember any of that since it was a short meeting.  But I’ve been hoping all this time that those words helped you in some way.”

            “And then I met you again during the conference.  My heart stopped for a second and I was wondering if you could remember me.  I doubted it, but, who could forget their…,” he said, stopping for a second to catch his breath.  “Who could forget their first love?”

            With that, he looked up into my eyes.  I looked back, trying to process everything he said.  I could feel my heart continue to twist and there was some weird feeling at the pit of my stomach.  “You actually remember me too,” I whispered, saying the first thing that came to my head.

            His eyes widened.  “You remember me,” he asked.

            I nodded, giving him a small smile while continuing to go through his words.  “And those words did help me,” I said, fumbling with my fingers.  “Which I wanted to thank you for.  Your words were what changed me this past year.”

            A small smile grew on Sungmin’s lips.  “That makes me really happy,” he whispered, running his fingers through his hair.

            I nodded again.  “I’ve been wanting to say that for a while now,” I muttered, looking down at my fingers.

            Then it clicked.

            His first love.

            First love.

            Love.

            Wait, what?

            “Hold on a sec,” I muttered, reaching over to tap him on the shoulder.  “Did you just say that I was your first love?”

            A slight tint of pink appeared on his cheeks, but he stood his ground.  “Yeah, I did,” he whispered, looking me straight in the eye.  “And I think I’m still in love with you right now.”

            I felt my own cheeks heat up.  This was a first.  Well, not the first confession.  Siwon has confessed to me countless times.  But, this was the first time I’ve reacted this way.  My hands went up to my cheek to block my face.  I could feel my heart beat faster and my palms start to sweat.  What in the name of all that is holy is this?  “I-I don’t,” I muttered, trying to catch my breath. 

            “It’s okay,” he whispered, giving me a small smile.  But his eyes seemed different.  Was it sadness?

            “Wait, I mean,” I began, reaching for his hands.  I took a deep breath.  Let’s try not to ruin this, shall we?  “I’ve just barely come into terms with my emotions.  Honestly, I’ve barely begun to truly understand happiness and sorrow.  I have yet to come into terms with love, because, honestly, I don’t understand it one bit.  But I’m getting a sinking feeling that this feeling of my heart clenching and my stomach twisting is a sign of said feelings.  So…”

            Sungmin chuckled.  “I don’t know if you’re rejecting me or telling me to wait for you,” he whispered, playing with my hands. 

            I took a deep breath again before I moved my hand to lift his face up to meet mine.  “I think I’m telling you to wait for me,” I whispered.

            He looked me in the eye and smiled.  “Of course I’ll wait,” he whispered back, his breath ghosting against my lips.

            I felt him move against my hands, his face coming closer to mine.  His lips were close to touching mine when the door suddenly slammed open.  He jumped away, looking at the man who had just barged in.  What was that?  I was momentarily frozen, but I looked over at the opened door.  It was Jungsu.

            Jungsu let out a chuckle.  “It seems that I’ve interrupted something,” he teased, walking back to the door.  “I just wanted to let you know that I finally kicked him out.  Continue with your mischief.”  With that, he winked before shutting the door behind him.

            Sungmin suddenly stood up, avoiding my eyes.  “I-I’ll, umm, get you some lunch,” he stuttered, walking towards the door.

            I could only stare as I watched his figure disappear through the double doors.

            Did I really just tell him to wait for me?  What if I just hurt him in the end?  It’s not like I’m actually sure that this twist in my stomach means love.  What if it’s some sort of medical condition that’s slowly killing me?  What if it’s some sort of weird earth worm that’s eating me alive?  What if it’s indigestion?

            I sighed and curled my fist.  What am I doing?  Seriously.  It feels as if I’m losing touch with everything.  My thoughts seem to be rushed and confused.  My emotions, if you could call them that, seem to be in a jumble.  It feels like my whole life story is made out of dialogue with no other explanation. 

            And now I’m just talking to myself.  Even my inner monologue sounds like a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo.  Mumbo jumbo.  Note to self, never ever use that word out loud.  Dear god, I’m completely off tangent at this point.  I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times, ruining a perfectly good hairdo.  “I’m an idiot,” I said out loud.  “For a world class genius, I am a complete idiot.”

            I stood up from the chair and started to walk around.  If anyone had come in at this second, they would have sent me to the asylum.  “I am an idiot who can barely understand people’s emotions,” I said, nodding to myself.  “Unless, we dissect that even further and say that it’s not because I don’t understand my emotions, it’s because I refuse to accept them.  But why would I refused to accept them?”

            I stopped walking.  Why would I refuse to accept them?  Because it hurts?  I mean, look at Jungsu.  He was just crying earlier this afternoon because of Kangin.  He seemed broken and absolutely out of it.  But, then again, you have Hyukjae and Donghae.  They have a pretty happy married life.  However, how long is that going to last?  Forever or just a few months?  “Perhaps it’s simply a game of luck,” I muttered, rubbing my hands together.  “The question is, will I be good enough for this game?”

            I sighed before taking a seat on the floor, laying my feet out in front of me.  I really hope no one walks in.  This monologue solved nothing.  I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hands before completely collapsing on the floor, my eyes turning up to the ceiling.

            “You’re lucky I walked in, you big idiot,” Jungsu muttered, fussing over my hair.

            He had walked in after I ended my monologue.  Because it was him, I didn’t stand up, knowing he would understand.  Knowing it was nothing, he had walked over and laid beside me until I was ready to stand up.  It wasn’t exactly the first time I ended up on the floor, staring at the ceiling.  “Because people should knock first,” I grumbled, waving him off.  “Now stop fussing, you’re just messing my hair up even more.”

            He flicked my forehead before looking into my eyes.  “I just wish you would tell me what was going through your mind,” he whispered before sighing.

            How well does this guy know me?  “I promise that when I’m ready, I will,” I muttered, playing with my hands.  “Plus, there’s someone else who has to know first before I tell you.”

            He looked confused for a second before something clicked in his mind.  I raised my eyebrows, slightly confused.  “Oh my Shisus,” he began, a smile forming on his face.  “Did Mr. Religious propose to you?”

            “Oh my goodness no,” I said, chuckling at his reaction.

            “But you’ve fallen in love,” he said, twirling once.  “I know what that means and you have fallen in love!  Don’t deny it!”

            I sighed before looking away.  “Like I would tell you anything,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

            “No,” he said dramatically, falling onto his knees.  He then looked up, trying to catch my attention.  "You have to tell me who it is!”

            I shook my head and watched as a familiar face walked through the door.  It was Sungmin.  I smiled, happy for the distraction.  I heard a loud gasp, causing me to turn my attention back to Jungsu.  I scooted back in my chair a bit as I watched him jump up from his position and clasp his hands together.  Seriously, this is the weirdest I’ve ever seen him.  “I know who it is,” he whispered, gently tapping my nose.  “I won’t say, but I wish you the best of luck.”  He the skipped out of the room.

            “That was completely out of character,” I muttered as I stared at the now closed double doors.

            Sungmin, who had been watching the whole scene, nodded in agreement.  “I have to say that, that was pretty scary,” he said, chuckling.  “Who would have thought the reserved assistant would be so…”

            “Hyper,” I interjected, looking over at him.

            He nodded before continuing to laugh.  He then walked over and handed me a store bought lunch box.  “This was all they had left,” he said.  “I hope it tastes fine.”

            “Thank you,” I said, giving him a smile.  I fixed up the lunchbox before turning my attention back to him.  “By the way, I’m pretty sure Heechul has already invited you, but my parents are having a party tomorrow.  It’s a secret plot to show me and my friends off to eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, but I think it should be fun.  What do you say?”

            He laughed at my description.  “I would love to come,” he said.  “Just as long as everyone knows that you have someone waiting for you.”  He paused for a second, realizing what he just said.  His cheeks started to tint again.

            He really loves to blush, doesn’t he?  “Of course,” I said, giving him a slight wink.

            If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he swooned at my action as his breath hitched.  “Gosh Mr. Cho, keep a level of professionalism,” he muttered, walking back to his desk.

            I looked back at my papers as I tried to process what he and I just exchanged.  Was that not professional?  I thought we were just being friendly with each other.  Weren’t we?  I paused for a second before fumbling with my papers.  Dear shisus, I think I just flirted with him. 

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A/N: Hi!  As promised, I have updated today!

I’m sorry about the monologue, but I was basing it off of what I thought was normal when you’re alone and thinking about how lame you are.  So yes, I do, do that.  And as for Jungsu…I’m not even going to start with his weirdness.  But hey, friends act weird sometimes…though he may just be hiding something…  Though, let us note now that this isn’t the end of their cute café story ;)

Hehehe, you guys made my comments go up to 42 and my subscribers up to 56.  You have no idea how happy I am about this!  This 10^th chapter is the (or not) and I hope you guys enjoyed it!  Special shout out to Gyaaaa for being an awesome person and for having commented since the prologue ^^

And now for a quick word because I think I quite like writing my other story…if you haven’t read ‘I Will Forget You’, I highly recommend it especially if you love angst.  That story is full of angst…and also a really fluffy and sweet Kyuhyun.  It’s the perfect mix > . <