Chapter 14 – Because I Love You

            The elevator dinged, letting me know that I had arrived at my floor.  The doors slowly opened, revealing the front of my office.  Jungsu was pacing across the room but stopped when he spotted me.  He quickly rushed and pulled me in.  “Kyuhyun,” he said, nervousness apparent in his voice.  “He’s here.”

            My head tilted to my right, slightly confused.  “Who’s here,” I wondered, trying to figure out who could possibly be causing him so much fear.

            He looked me straight in the eye.  “Your father,” he said, barely above a whisper.  “And Sungmin’s in there with him.”

            My eyes couldn’t help but widen as I pushed him away to run into my office.  I quickly opened the door, only to spot a giggling Sungmin and my father.  “Kyuhyun,” Sungmin greeted, standing up from behind his desk.

            I ignored his greeting, my eyes meeting my father’s.  “Father, what are you doing here,” I asked sternly.

            He gave me a small smile, though I could see the lies behind it.  “I came here to discuss our arrangement with the Choi’s but I started to have a wonderful discussion about Sungmin’s career.  Did you know that he just made it big?”

            I knew where he was going with this and I didn’t like it.  “Yes, of course I do,” I said, holding my breath.  On the side, I could see Sungmin looking from me to my father, confused about what was going on.  But there was no way I would ever tell him what was going on.  “And he’s worked very hard for it.”

            “Of course he has,” he responded, putting his hands behind his back.  “So, about Mr. Choi, we’ve talked and he said that Siwon is all for it.”

            My breath stopped and I could feel my stomach drop.  If he was going to discuss this, I didn’t want this conversation to go on with Sungmin in the room.  If I couldn’t stop my own heart from breaking, I certainly would try my best to save his.  “Can we have this conversation elsewhere,” I asked, trying my best not to look at Sungmin.

            “Oh, but I wouldn’t want to disturb you and Mr. Lee here,” he said, walking towards the door.  “He said that you two had big plans today.”

            Sungmin nodded in agreement and took a seat on his chair, realizing that he should keep away.  “Yes,” I said, watching as my father opened the door. 

            “Then we’ll discuss more later,” he said, stepping out.  But then he stopped and turned around and looked me dead in the eyes.  “By the way, the wedding’s in a month.  I suggest you step it up a bit.”  With that, the door slammed closed and he disappeared.

            My heart ached as I watched Sungmin freeze in front of his computer, not daring to look at me.  “S-Sungmin,” I stuttered out,” I can explain.”

            There was a long moment of silence and I desperately wanted to revert to when I didn’t care for these things.  I think now I know why I never wanted to feel anything.  He looked up at me and smiled.  “Don’t worry Kyuhyun,” he said confidently, but tears started to stream down his cheeks.  “I never expected anything from you.”  He abruptly stood up and made for the door.  I quickly reached out and grabbed his hand.

            “Sungmin, please,” I begged.  “Just listen to me.”

            He simply shook his head, trying his best not to look at me.  However, I could feel drips of water gently touch my arm.  He was crying.  “W-Why does everyone keep doing this to me,” he asked, his voice hoarse.

            “Don’t put me in that category Sungmin,” I said, turning him around to face me.  I was frustrated and desperate.  Why couldn’t he listen to me?  “Please listen to me.”

            He stopped moving, giving me a chance to speak.  “I-I have to marry him,” I began, still wondering whether or not I should tell him. 

            He started to struggle again, causing me to grip him tighter.  “Let me go,” he cried out.

            “But I love you,” I managed to choke out.  “I have to marry him but I love you.”

            He stopped struggling again and looked me in the eye.  “Then why,” he whispered.  I dropped my hands and stepped away from him.

            “Because I love you,” I whispered back, looking down at the floor. 

            I watched his feet move closer to mine.  “Kyuhyun, explain it more,” he said, attempting to reach for my hands.

            “I can’t Min,” I begged.  “If I say it more, my heart will feel like it’s breaking because I’ll know it’s true.”

            “Say what Kyu,” he asked as I pushed his hands away.

            “That I love you,” I choked out.  “Why do I love you?  I hate it.  I despise it.  I don’t want it to be true because then I can’t do what’s required of me.  I hate that I have to marry Siwon and that shouldn’t be true.  He’s my best friend and I should be fine because it’s a business venture.  But I love you and it hurts so much because I know I can’t be with you.  I can’t be with you.  I should be okay with that too.  But I love—“

            His lips were suddenly pressed against mine, stopping me from my ramble, which I now realize did not make any sense.  His hands gripped tightly around my neck as he deepened the kiss.  I didn’t, or more like I couldn’t, react.  I didn’t know what to do.  He gently pulled away, but not too far.  His lips were still only milliseconds away from mine.  It was then that I realized that I hadn’t been breathing and I took a deep breath.  He pulled his hands away and took my hands and set them around his waist.  “I don’t completely understand,” he whispered, giving me a peck.  “But I’ll wait since you love me.”  Another peck.  “And honestly, that’s all I need to know.”  Once more.  “Because I love you too.”

            His lips were against mine again, but this time it was my doing.  He loved me.  I loved him.  If this was a perfect world, I would fully giving my heart and soul to him.  But I couldn’t.  I lived in a world that was run by money, greed, and power.  As much as I didn’t want to marry Siwon, I knew I had to.  Not for the sake of our business, but for the sake of the beautiful man that I had in front of me.  The man that I loved and the man I couldn’t bear to watch as his life went into ruins if he ever married me. 

            When can I escape such a life?

            So I treasured this kiss.  This tiny moment that I held in the palm of my hands.  Something that I could never reach for again.

            “Kyuhyun,” an out of breath Siwon exclaimed as he ran towards me. 

            He had quickly called me out during lunch, asking to meet me at the mall for lunch.  By the looks of it, he had heard of the news.  “Siwon, calm down,” I said as he tried to catch his breath.  “It’s not the end of the world.”

            “But it is for you,” he said, wiping a drop of sweat that had made its way down his neck.

            Well, that was an understatement.  “I’ll marry you,” I said, looking him dead in the eyes.  I ignored the sudden looks we received from the public at my statement. 

            Siwon frowned.  “Look, we are not getting married,” he said.  “Especially if you’re not in love with me.”

            “I can learn to,” I rebutted.

            “You can’t learn to love,” he said.

            “Actually, it’s been proven that you—“

            “You love Sungmin.”

            Well Shisus, I can’t lie about that.  “But I can’t marry him,” I said.  “You know I can’t.”

            “And why not?”

            “Because my father would ruin his life,” I explained, begging him to understand.

            “But he can ruin yours,” he asked.

            “Always.”

            Siwon grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards to the side, away from staring eyes.  “Why is it that you can never control your own life,” he hissed.  His eyes were full of anger and bitterness.  “Jeez Kyuhyun, you’re an adult!  Your father has no power over you!”

            “But he does,” I practically screamed out, raising my hands.  “If I don’t marry you, he’ll ruin Sungmin’s career!”

            He raised his fists, going in for a punch, but stopped himself.  “Kyuhyun,” he whispered, looking at me sadly.  “I’m not going to marry you.”  He started to walk away but then turned around with a scoff.  “Especially since you’re not in love with me.”  With that, he disappeared into the crowd of people.

            Why does everyone keep doing that?

^^^^^^^^^^

A/N:  Hello everybody!  Sorry for the late update but I started school and these college essays are already killing me…plus my momentary lapse of inspiration.  Luckily, though not really, I got sick today and inspiration hit me…so…tadah!!  Also!  Thank you guys so much for my 104 unique subs!  I feel the love!

Now, let’s go out and give some Super Junior some love!  They need to win one in their hometown!  They managed to win the Teen Choice Awards and a bunch of others internationally, but they need some love in their home country ^^

And if you still have a little love to give…please check out my other story.  It’s feeling a bit lonely: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/986570/i-will-forget-you-angst-kyuhyun-kyumin-sungmin-superjunior-tragedy-kimsaeun