"Luhan?"

The dark house gave me no response. I huffed displeased.

"Coooockroaaach~??"

Still no reply. I groaned. It was way past 11 p.m,  I had just returned from a very tiring shift at work, all I wanted was some help to lift the dozen of boxes I had to carry home but all I got was a void house.

Taehyung was probably at one of his friends' house doing whatever he wanted... No need for me to know, really. Perhaps he had found a girlfriend a long time ago without telling me. A way to get back at me for not revealing who my boyfriend was...

Boyfriend.

I bitterly smiled while trying to reach the table in the dining room so I could let go of all those heavy boxes. 

It had been a normal week after the pool party at Suga's house. If 'normal' was avoiding Suga and the rest of Bangtan just because I didn't exactly know what had taken place that night. 

Way to face my own problems.

Of some things I was certain though: I had broken my phone, drawned to death. I also ended up in the pool with Tae somehow and then Suga and J-hope came to our rescue. I was drenched and cold. Tae was in no condition to help me out so Suga did by giving me his clothes, for the second time, and brought me in his room to let me rest. 

Since I didn't talk with him after then I presume we just ended up doing embarassing things like a cliché drunk couple. I didn't get married luckily enough.

Also the smurfs knew. 

Not really all of them understood wholly or cared enough but some did and made my days a living hell between betrayed/disappointed (can you believe it!?) looks and sassy remarks.

But, of course, when you needed them nobody was there.

A minute of silence for my broken feels of solitude please.

All right, all good. I am a indipendent woman alright?

Still.

I huffed and stetched my aching back while going for the bedroom. I carefully and slowly opened the door, an habit I picked since living with the aliens... Walking on them in their private moments wasn't my greatest aspiration. I was expecting anything, really, but I couldn't avoing jumping twenty centimeters high when I was met with a pair of dark sharp eyes.

"You're late"

"And you're here" I deadpanned "I've called for someone like a billion times downstairs!"

"Wrong. You've called two times, both of which were for Lu Han"

"...I see how it is" I stated while fully entering my room and landing on my bed face first in the pillow "You're jelous"

"What!?"

"Admit it"

"You are weird"

"Said the alien"

"And late."

"You already said that, what are you? My mom?– No wait, I don't wanna know, It's late and I'm tired"

"Are you finished?"

His serious tone hit me harder then it actually should have had.

"You always make me look childish, how old are you really?"

"Surely more mature than you and you ARE childish"

"You know I dislike you right?"

"You know I don't care, don't you?"

There we go again. How Kai could get under my skin in such a way was still a mystery. No matter how much I tried to ignore him, as soon as he opened his mouth my urge to shut him off was already to its limit. And he wasn't even that talkative. On the contrary he didn't need words to make me feel uncomfortable or irritated, those sharp and judging eyes of his were more than enough to trigger an explosive chain reaction. 

Reacting to the negative tension that had been gradually built between us was almost an instinct now, a habit. 

Kai meant quarrels.

Most of the times useless and childish, but still.

I didn't want to be rational, especially when tired. And Kai was admittedly like my punchball so...

"Whatever minion"

"So–" He breathed in "–Irritating" He breathed out. "Listen, I am not here to bicker."

He teleported on my table at sat on its edge with his legs dangling down, seeing I wasn't asking for clarification he took the initiative to further explain the situation and I was just this close to again but I relented from doing so. Quarrels require energy and I couldn't afford it at the moment.

"Matters got a little bit more, uuhm, complicated I guess."

I didn't react but my heart rate spiked up. 

"Our energy's getting stronger and so our powers but this makes it difficult to adjust to this new situation and well Suho says it's best not to be near things or beings that could be...harmed?"

"...Are you asking me now?"

"Seriously?! Of all the things I've said you only have to make this remark?"

"Of course! You've just blabbered nonsense I already knew of. You always blow off/destroy/neutralize things, where's the news?"

"You don't understand"

"You nearly destroyed my kitchen, put on fire my blankets, froze me to death, teleported me one too many times. Worse than this?"

"Hyejjn."

"Kai...?"

"Much worse than that"

I rolled over and crossed my arms while sitting up. 

"Get to the point then"

"That's what I was– Ugh, never mind. The thing is: unless necessary, don't come too near to us. Your energy activates ours so... Don't approach us freely and unexpectedly and be careful...Ok?"

"I'm imagining all of you like little explosive bombs now...I really hope this wasn't the image you wanted to convey, you know?"

He stared me down. 

"Just. Be. Careful."

"Like you care, like I'll listen to a smurf and since when are you the boss? I thought Kris was the leader" I teased even though I had no real intention on getting near them for the times being after his revelations.

He clenched his fists and waited five seconds before replying " You've got a point, I don't care if you get your nose frozen again but a little correction: Kris isn't exactly the boss of me"

"Then who is it? Suho?"

"Indeed"

"But you never listen to him"

He smirked. 

"Weeelll, you'be been reeeally useful. You successfully reported the message and assured me a very lovely night. Thank you Kai, go in peace" I said bitterly.

"My pleasure" He smiled softly while vanishing in a little cloud of black smoke.

Cool. The smoke was new. Upgrade 2.0. Kai added some special effects to his trick. Who knows what the others could do now? Perhaps Chanyeol could snort black  smoke too, Xiumin got black ice? 

Black smoke is always cool.

Better being ironical than realistic though.

The smurfs just got dangerous and out of control and OF COURSE I had to be the cause of it.

What a great day. My emotions switched from absolute boredom to absolute anxiety. It was becoming a state of normality recently though and since I was getting used to it I decided not to care and roll on my bed hugging my soft pillow. 

Drifting into sleep was a piece of candy. They should give me an award for anxiety issues management​ or I could write a book?

'Screw it all'

A best-seller.

***

"YAH!"

"Go away." I groaned " It's saturday"

"It's post 10 a.m.!! Still sleeping??"

"Saturday. Taehyung. Saturdays are made to sleep late." Like, everyone knows it!

"Not today, we're  gonna go shopping!" He chirped.

"You are just hungry and you don't want to go buy grocieries by yourself, aren't you? And nope, not coming"

"But–"

"Count me out and where were you yesterday?"

"Jimin's house? Duh"

"Don't 'duh' me, you could have called" 

"Yes, mom"

Ok. Now I was awake. I fully glared at him even though my eyes couldn't focus just yet. He smiled, right after made a 'ouch' face at me and then smiled again as if saying 'that hurt uh?'.

Even in a Saturday morning one couldn't be let in peace.

I just got back to sleep covering even my head with the sheets. I was mildly aware of the front door closing and then Morpheus captured me once again.

I woke up one hour  later at the smell of something burning.

Tae must be cooking.

Tae doesn't know how to cook.

Tae was going to burn the house down.

I immediately rushed out of my room, flown myself down the stairs, hurried to the kitchen door the slammed it open in less than three seconds. I managed to hear a familiar voice before the situation went down drastically.

"Soo I think— Ahh! HOLY PEPPERS! Mother! H-Hyejin?" 

"Chanyeol?" I asked while eyeing quizzically Owly who seemed about to pass out from the scare and Chanyeol who was standing in front of the stove.

Yet, before we could process anything, the flames exploded in a burst of energy partially enveloping the two aliens followed suit by a wave of impossibly hot air. The impact literally took the air out of my lungs. It happened so fast it was a blur: me screaming something while grabbing them both and escaping the kitchen that was now starting to get filled with smoke and the alarm going off almost at the same time.

Five minutes later we were silently sitting on the floor of the dining room, drenched. Together with house.

I had opened every window in the flat to let the smoke out but the smell of something irremediably burned down persisted reason why the kitchen door was well shut. 

The furniture was dripping wet, I had mopped the floors a little but I still had to recover from  the sudden shock so I had joined the two on the floor. 

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