CHAPTER 69

“How am I supposed to answer that one…” –he looks away and forced a smile.

“I love you.”

From that, GD looked at her and started to become serious. Even though he finds her words discrete, he still can feel that from her.
They both change their moods. The wind slightly passes them by.
“What do you mean by that?” –he said.
“Can’t we be like the way we are before? When we’re together I always assume something and wonder if you’ll ever be back to me again so that we can have the thing between us again.”
GD was not speaking. He was looking far away from her but you can see it in his eyes that he’s listening to what she’s saying.
“Speak up Jiyong!” –she said.
“You know what…”
“What?”
He looked at her eyes then said it straight to her, “For the minute you said that you love me, I started believing in lies.” –Aw!
J-ah wasn’t able to say something from that. Of course it hurts.

10 seconds later…

She said “I’m not lying. It’s true.”
He crooked a smile and said, “Thanks for letting it show to me just now…right now when it’s already too late for us to work out.” –Aww.
She didn’t talk. GD carries on talking, “J-ah, let’s not bring back the old issue about us here. We’ll just hurt each other if we did, you know, there are times that no matter how hard you try to make things together once again, it just won’t suit up, it won’t be the same as it is before… because in certainty, it really cannot be anymore and we just have to face it. If you’re really trying to put us back together then the answer would be ‘no’, I’m sorry but my heart now was owned by someone and I’ll never regret her dwelling in it. I won’t let her out of it…she will never be out of it.” –Awww.
“I know…”
“What?”
“Is she Dara?”
“Woh. How, why---”
“I heard it…remember when you got drunk? While you were sleeping, you said something about her and you mentioned her name.”
“I did? But…” –he doesn’t have an idea about it.
“I understand. You really love her uh?”
“I do.”
She became sad but she smiled feebly despite of it.

She said “I won’t be too pushy about this. I know this will be your answer and I said to myself that if you neglect me right at this moment, I’ll let you go finally. I’m the one who’s wrong here and I know it. *smiles*… Thanks for sharing the rest of our moments together. I hope you got well. I hope I helped from comforting you because that’s just the thing that I want to do that’s why I get near you always. I just want to payback all the good things you’ve done to me when we’re still. I wish that I fulfilled it all…I understand our situation right now and I know where to put myself. Sorry for everything, sorry if I hurt you…I hope with this last minute with you…everything’s fixed between us.” –Aww. So the reason why she comes to him on the first place is because she wants to payback all the pains and the heartaches she had given to her before and she also said that once she heard his decision about it, she’ll fully accept it from her heart, no matter what it is. She’s really kind, maybe that’s one of the qualities why GD liked her.

While his ex was saying that in front of him, his eyes get teary. 
Then he said, “You fulfilled it all J…” –Aww =) He’s now ready and open for forgiveness and peace between them two.
“Thank you very much Jiyong. I guess for now, I have to go and set you free.” –Aww =( she turned back and was about to cry while walking away from him.
But GD held her hand and stopped her. He said “Wait.”
“What is it?” –she looked back at him but with a smile on her face, trying to secrete her sadness inside.
“Thank you too.”
“For what?”
“For making me happy when I needed someone…and…I’ll…I’ll miss you.” –aw! > <
“Okay. =) And oh, I think we were meant to separate our paths by now…I’ll miss you too…Enjoy the rest of your life with her. Bye Jiyong.”
“Bye…” –as he slowly slips his hands out of hers and lets go. Aww!!

She smiled at him and she started walking away… She stares at her until she’s not yet going out of his sight. He looked at her and takes the advantage because he knows that it may be the last time he’ll see her again. Aww. He felt really miserable that time because he’ll lose her, the one who gets to be his happiness once.

Despite the fact that his ex was walking away…she was crying silently then she puts her hand on her pocket and gets something.


On the other hand…


Dara was with Taeyang again. They're at the parking lot of the new YG. It was a stirring venting of emotions for the both sides.
She’s acting happy in front of him but the disguise that she wears from those smiles was still seen by Taeyang.
Dara said “Should we go out for a ride? ^^”
“Let’s just stay here outside, at the parking lot.”
“You always want it indoors.”
He smiled slightly. Dara noticed it so she asked “What’s the problem?”
“Why?”
“You are still sad. Aren’t you?”
“Me? Why? Do I look like sad with this face? *smiles even bigger*” –Haha!
“Smiles can’t hide everything, noona.” –Aww. He looks unhappy when he said that so that makes Dara stop from fooling around. She said “Ohh…” 
She turned out solemn too. She said “I’m over it.”
“Even how many times you tell that, I still can see…that you’re still not.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“I know what real happiness looks like, and I can’t see it in your eyes.” –Awww.
Dara understands what he was saying from that.
Taeyang thought “I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take fooling myself, expecting that she’ll like me too.”
He said “Are you happy with me?”
“Me..Of course, no one teases and annoys me more except from a naughty guy like you.” –Haha! She’s trying to make the atmosphere around them brighter by saying jokes but it still didn’t change a thing.
“Are you missing him?”
“Who?”
“GD… because he’s always not around.”
When she heard his name mentioned, she remembered everything about it again. She turned out staring on the floor… she sighed and said “I shouldn’t have remembered him.”
“You’re still longing for him, am I right?”
She didn’t answer. She changes her mood.
Dara said “Well, what is it about when we talk about him again and again? I’m here with you now, why would I still worry about him?” –she smiled but she’s looking down. Slowly, her smile faded…
Taeyang saw that. The factual Dara showed up, finally!

They got silenced…
Taeyang said “I knew it…”
Dara didn’t talk. Instead, she keeps her head down with a sad expression.

The wind blows…
He said “I may perhaps have won you above anybody else, but one thing I know…and the saddest fact that I have to accept is that……I can never win your heart.”
Dara looked up at him and said “But Youngbae-ah…”
“Don’t worry, I knew it though.”
“What are you trying to do?”
“I’m about to take one step away… and leave your hands open.”  He means that he’s about to go away and set her free, just like what J-ah did to GD lately.
He thought “I’m doing this for my best friend…” –aww.
He said “Dara…I’m giving all the way to you now… a way for the both of you now to meet.” –that also means that he’s letting her go and have GD back.
“But he hurt me…I can’t go back anymore.”
“I’m not the right person to find if you’re looking for your destiny…Your destiny is to where you’re headed now, to where the ending of the way that I gave you will be.” –Aww. He means GD for it.
“Youngbae…how about you?”
“I may not be the perfect man to love you like the way you wanted to be loved by someone, I may not be as perfect like you wanted in a man, I may not make you smile and laugh like the way he always did to you, but if he hurt you again…I may not be the perfect man that you wanted, but I assure you, I’m not that type of man that’ll broke your heart.” –sweeeet! =((
Dara wants to cry that time because she felt pity for Taeyang.
“You can go…” –Taeyang said.
He shows a fresh smile to her. Dara said “But no, Taeyang!”
“Ne?” –he’s still smiling.
“I don’t want to lose you in my life…I’d like you to stay…” –waaa!
Taeyang looked at her like he was shocked to hear that.

“……as my friend.” –she continued. Aw!! > <
Taeyang got broken to that words that she left to him. He said “Yes… I will. Let’s just go home by now.”
“I don’t want to go home yet. Stay with me for now.”
He looked at her eyes and saw that she really wants him to stay.
He said “I can’t for now.”
“We’ll go out tomorrow again, right?”
“We can.”
“That’s good. Taeyang, I don’t want you to be detached to me.”
“Got it. ^^” –he turned back and walked away. Dara said “Young--” but she paused and decided not to talk to him right now, he kept on walking though. He’s going out from the parking lot of their building.

Taeyang who’s quietly walking on the streets, said “I’ll never find the right one for me. I shouldn’t rush things…She only see me as a friend and I’ll accept that. She can’t love me.” –Aw. He got the same situation as CL’s before.

He went straight to their dorm and sits on a chair in their kitchen. He laid his elbow on the table and put his hands together and leaned it on his forehead then he closed his eyes. He frowned and thought “I did wrong. I’m sorry but expect me to do things right on my own.”

Dara who’s left on the parking lot of YG entered their building and goes to the dance room alone. She practiced alone because the performance the day after tomorrow. She works hard to perfect their steps and keeps her self on focus. Right after the song ended, she realized that she made no mistake. She smiled and said “Omo! I did it!”
She sat on the chair and became overcast once again. 
She looked like she’s still not satisfied and something’s in her mind. She had thought of Taeyang that time. She said “It happened so fast…so fast that I almost didn’t realize that I already lost him.” –aww.
Dara thought “I’m supposed to be a bit relieved from what he did, but from the reason that I have nothing to go back to, makes me helpless and distressed.”

She ended up with a sigh before she goes back to their dorm and get together with the girls.

The midnight moon is lonely for them, for GD and J-ah, for Dara and for Taeyang.
For the hearts that let go and for the hearts that were freed and filled with sorrow, it is one of their baffling nights/morning.

Many hours have passed, and the sun rises.


Taeyang and Dara texted each other and decided to meet later at night on the park in Gangdong-gu, it’s just a place around Seoul. 

Dara was expecting him to be the same Taeyang that she knew. A lot of things happened in the morning… until it gets to afternoon already and it’s nearly evening. The sky became dark blue. Dara and Taeyang was about to meet at 8 PM.

Dara proceeds to the park at 7:30 PM. She looked around to see if Taeyang was somewhere around and just hiding from her again but he’s not. 
She checked her watch and said “I guess I came too early. *sigh then smiled* I’m glad to know that even after yesterday, I’ll still have him today. Thank you for that Taeyang-ssi.” –Aww.

However… at the same time as Dara was waiting for him to come…
Taeyang was still on their dorm, and facing the mirror. He’s been there for like minutes. He’s staring at his self and still can’t get himself to go out of his room. 
He thought “I need to make it happen. I can’t take it if we’ll stay like this way after all.”

He went out of their dorm and goes to GD’s house. Awww =) …Anybody knows what he is thinking as of now.

He said “My heart and my mind are going to blast. I need to straighten all the things that I devastated.”

He runs to his house and from the doorway, he saw GD by coincidence who was about to enter the door. Waaa!
He shouted “Jiyong-ah!!”
GD looked back and saw him running to him. He turned back to him and continued opening the door. He was ignored. Aw.
Taeyang said “Wait!~~ Wait!!”
GD turned around and looked at him viciously.
He said “What do you want?”
“Jiyong…*stares at him* Wohh…you’ve changed a lot…” –he’s talking about the way he looks physically.
But he’s still looking at him and saying nothing. Taeyang said “I want to set things back.”
He’s still not speaking. So Taeyang was the one who’s left talking…
“I want to say sorry for what I did.”
“…”
“For the pain that I gave you two, man, you don’t know how things brought me nuisance every night, when you’re not around. My scruples never let me sleep. And I realized that I was a fool for doing all of it just by looking on how things were working now.” 
GD’s silently listening to him. Taeyang said “I …I miss you man.” –Awww..
You can see it from Taeyang’s eyes that he feels really troubled.
He said “I’m so sorry Jiyong. It was my fault. From what you said to me before, I regained my consciousness and realized that you’re right, I should work hard to get things that I want…”

He persists on speaking, “When I think of material things, I wish I had the best of everything…But when I think of friends…I never wished I had a better friend…Because for me, you are the best!” –Awww.

GD was still not looking at him… so he said…

[NOTE: Set the song “I turn to you by Christina Aguilera” while reading this. It will help you feel the ambiance! Swear!]

“I realized that what I did was really wrong! I can’t be selfish... I can’t give up our friendship just to have someone I desired…… I may be happy with her… but my world won’t be complete without you….. I’ve known the difference upon having her and not having you … It’s completely different. I’m lacking of something each day Jiyong... 11 years are too much… that is so not worth giving up for just a girl... Okay. It might be a struggle for the both of us to get through this... to fight for one girl…but I can’t give up from where we started… Since we were little... Remember when you told me that you dreamed to be a pianist’s friend… Jiyong, you don’t know how much I exert an effort just to learn how to play a piano after that… because it’s my best friend’s dream... I want to make you happy and achieve your dreams... even though I’m not that good on the start… I stayed up many nights just to master the keys, even if I almost slept for only 2 hours, just to learn one piece! I tried so hard… for you… And when we’re toget