CHAPTER 5- PAINED

SEULGI'S POV

    I lie on my bed, trying my best to clear my mind but it isn't really working. I took out my sketch pad and tried drawing new designs of clothes but still,it didn't work. I cursed Hoseok inwardly for messing up my mind recently. Eversince that day I bumped into him at school, I became like this again. Depressed by the mere thought of him. 

    The next day at school, I was walking to the usual spot I meet with the girls. I passed by a cooridor and saw him with his group being flocked with girls, fangirls, I guess. For a brief moment, our eyes met but I immediately took away my gaze from him and continued walking.

    "Hey,"     I greeted the girls. I took a seat beside Irene. "Aw, exam period just ended but Kim Seonsaengnim is already torturing us."

    "Yeah, you said it right. Even we got tons of assignments really," Wendy was busy munching on some crackers. She lifted her head up and smiled at the sight of someone coming our way. She waved her hand, "Annyeong!"

    I looked back to see who it was, when my heart just skipped a beat. It was them, Hoseok and his group was walking towards us. 

    "Annyeong, Noona!" merrily greeted the two boys who I know by the name, V and Jungkook. The others followed behind them. They introduced themselves to us one by one. Jimin noted that we know each other already, meaning I, Joy, Him and Hoseok. We found out that Wendy and Yoongi have some classes together, while Irene and Jin seemed to know each other. They even call each other by their name, Joohyun and Seokjin.

    Taehyung and V seemed to be amused with Joy being the only highschooler in the group. They both sat beside her and interviewed her. Namjoon was busy talking to Irene and Jin. Irene was laughing in what seemed like Jin ranting on how Namjoon makes it more difficult to understand a subject whenever he explains it. That earned him a knock on the head from Namjoon.

    I just sat there silently. I know Hoseok's eyes were on me, watching me. No, don't even dare coming near me, I thought. 

    "Seulgi-ssi, how are you? It's been a long time, I guess three years to be exact right?" Jimin came and sat beside me. I noted Yoongi calling Hoseok to him and Wendy.

    "Ah nae. Three years, that's right," I smiled at him. "By the way, congratulations. You've been doing well since you debuted."

    "Aw, Kamsahaeyo. Everyone's working hard so we are moving smoothly. It would have been difficult if I were not with the boys. They are really helpful." He sent off his signature smile. " Anyways, Seulgi-ssi, may I ask, how are you with Hobi-hyung?"

    God, can we just avoid that subject. In a desperate attempt to avoid it, I quickly made an excuse,  "Omoya! Jimin-ssi I need to go. I almost forgot we have a make-up class today. Mianhae."

    I bowed to him and stood up and said my goodbyes to the others and quickly left them.

HOSEOK'S POV

    Yoongi-hyung tapped me and signal towards Seulgi. "You better follow her," he said.

    "Don't worry. We'll explain to the others. Joy already told me and Irene-eonnie. Go, I think you need to talk," Wendy gestured her hand for me to go. I looked at all of them, some of the members seemed a bit confused, but still tried to understand.

    "Kaja, before she gets out of sight." Irene smiled at me. "You know she's a bit hardheaded but she'll listen, one way or another."

    I bowed at them and said thank you. I ran to Seulgi's direction, some fangirls greeted me and tried to get my sign but I didn't mind them. All that was running through my mind right now is Seulgi.

    I called out her name but she didn't turn back. "Seulgi-yah! Please!" She reached an empty class room. I grabbed her arm gently as soon as I reached her, closing the door behind me. I didn't want to hurt her. I've already done too much damage.

    "What?!" She faced me, anger filled her voice. She must hate me so much. I understand her though.

    "Please, let's talk," I pleaded.

    "I still have a class, Hoseok. Besides, there is nothing for us to talk about. You ended all of it three years ago." She wasn't looking at me. I know she is lying.

    "You don't have a class. I know you all too well, Seulgi, to know that you are now lying to me." I tried reaching out for her hand but she refused.

    "Really? You know me too well? Wow! Hoseok I'm surprised. Well, if you did know me well, you  should have known three years ago that I needed an explanation from you!" She shouted at me, her rage taking over her. Tears were streaming down her beautiful face. I tried to hold her. Every piece of me wanted to comfort her but she would just slap my hands away. She didn't want me to touch her. Right now, I feel like a filthy person, when the girl I love doesn't even want me to touch her.

    "Seulgi-yah," I choked on my own saliva. I was trying to find the right words to say. Tears were also forming in my eyes, I tried to fight them back but to no avail. My voice was shaking. " I'm sorry."

    "Hoseok, is that all you can say to me? After three years, that's all? For three years, I thought I did something wrong that only I didn't know. You should have explained it to me, made me understand the situation. I must have expected too much from you. I was such a fool to believe in you." She walked to the door but before she could grab the door knob, I grabbed her and hugged her from her back.

    "Please, Seulgi." My tears were falling on her shirt but I didn't care. "I didn't know how to explain it to you. We cannot have a relationship with anyone when we debuted, but you came. I cannot help myself but fall for you day by day. I didn't know what to do. I wanted you but I have waited so long for my debut." My arms wrapped around her tighter. I have her this time again. I've longed to touch her, feel her warm body against mine. I've longed to smell her scent which I love so much. I was so afraid to let her go this time but she took my arms and made me let her go.

    "Then you shouldn't have made me love you in the first place if you just plan to make me fall for you without you catching me." She didn't even face me, but I can hear the hurt in her voice. It tore me into a milliion pieces. What hurt most was the last words she said before leaving me broken in the room. "I loved you so badly, Hoseok that I want to hate every bit of you. Don't ever come looking for me again."

    She left the room, wiping away the tears from her face. As for me, I just  sat  on the  floor, crying, regret filling me up. I punched the floor so hard, letting my hands bleed, making me feel the pain in my body. The pain that I have been trying to hide for the past three years.