CHAPTER 34 (Part 2)- LOVE DOES NOT FEAR

JIN'S POV

    Today is a free day for us. Today is also my birthday. I should be happy. I should be celebrating. But I wasn't. I stood up from my bed and went directly to the restroom to wash my face. While I was patting my face with a towel, loud voices boomed in my room.

    "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" The six, younger boys came in with a cake singing me a birthday song.

    "Thanks, dude," I said, trying to muster a smile.

    "Come on. Make a wish now, dude," Namjoon said while holding the cake.

    "You all know what my wish is, and today, on my birthday, is that day when I will be losing her, completely." I just blew my candle and walked away from them.

    "Hyung...." said Jungkook.

    "I'm fine. And thanks for the greetings and cake. By the way," I faced Hoseok, "Sorry if it's late, but congatulations on your engagement."

    "It's okay dude. But are you not going to her wedding today?" Hoseok asked as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

    "Yeah, hyung. She will be sad. You haven't kept in touch with her for two months already," Jimin added. I sat down on my bed. They stood there waiting for my answer.

    "Gwaenchanayo, you all go. I just have to go somewhere. I'm sure she will not be looking for me." The boys pat my back, nodding and each one slowly went out of the room. Namjoon stayed behind and sat beside me.

    "I'm pretty sure she will be looking for you," he said.

    "Hmmm. And that is what I don't want to happen, Namjoon-ah. I don't want to mess up with her mind any more."

    "So, what do you plan to do now? Where are you going?"

    "Mollayo. Maybe I'll just go driving around."

    Namjoon suddenly looked back and picked up a pink teddy bear lying on my bed, Jinhyun. "What is this? I noticed you bringing it back here two months ago."

    I took Jinhyun from him and stared at it. "This is Jinhyun, our child."

    "You mean Irene and your child?" I nodded. Namjoon rubbed the nape of his neck. "It seems like, nah. Nevermind."

    "Go on. Go prepare for the wedding. I'll be okay on my own." I smiled at Namjoon to assure him that I will be okay. "If ever she goes looking for me, Joon-ah, tell her I'll be at home." 

    "Home?" Namjoon scratched his head in confusion.

    "Just tell her that." I stood up to get some clothes from my cabinet as Namjoon continued walking out of the room. As I got back in the bathroom, the pain in my chest started growing I had to hold it because I know, anytime now, tears will start to fall.

IRENE'S POV

    "Oh, such a beautiful bride!" said my make-up artist as she finished up with my make-up. It was my wedding day and everyone is so busy preparing for the ceremony. "There you go! Just finish it off with a smile, dear, and we are ready to go." I smiled at she said but deep down inside, I was conflicted. I stared at myself in the mirror. Are you really happy, Bae Joohyun?

    "You are not." Joy said as she, Wendy and Seulgi entered my dressing room.

    "Girls!" I turned to them and saw that their faces were not smiling.

    "You look so beautiful, Eonnie," Wendy walked towards me and held my hand. "But it will be a lot more beautiful if you are smiling because you found your true happiness. You already found him, a long, long time ago, Eonnie, but you keep running away from him."

    "It's his birthday today," I said silently, holding back the tears.

    "We can still stop this, Eonnie," Joy said her voice cracking.

    "Just tell Kris. We know you love Kris, but its just as a friend, Eonnie," Seulgi added.

    "I can't turn back anymore. I already let Seokjin go. Hmph, so much for a birthday gift." I turned silent for a while. I know I missed him but I know starting today, I will be someone else's. I have never been his from the start.

    'I know you love Jin and you also love Kris but the love you can give to Kris is so different from the love you are willing to give to Jin.' Hyuna's voice rang inside my head. The love I am willing to give. I looked at myself in the mirror again. Fear. It has always been me and that was everything that stopped me from facing the truth.

KRIS'S POV

    I stood up in front of the mirror. My sister helped me fix myself up for the wedding. The past few days has been like a storm for me. I love Irene but deep inside, I know that I never truly won her heart. Even in the past eight years we have known each other, I know a shadow of someone has been following her. Now I know why.

    "Kris?" my sister called out. "I know something is bothering you. Tell me, what is it?"

    "Am I doing the right thing, Yifei?" It was painful thinking about it. Today is our wedding and today, I am having so many doubts. "Because right now, I feel like everything I am doing is wrong."

    Yifei took a deep breath. "Is it because of Jin?" I nodded. "To tell you the truth Kris, I have also been trying to get him to stay away from Irene for you. I didn't like it but I also wanted to protect you because you are my brother. But in the end, you are still the one to decide. You should know better because you are my big brother." She smiled and tiptoed to hug me. "I know you will make the right decision." She pat on my shoulder and left me in the room to think.

IRENE'S POV

    The garden was filled with the sound of the wedding march. I looked at the people around as I got ready to march down the aisle. My cousins were looking at me. The family of Kris, Yifei, the other guests, BTS. They smiled at me, trying their best to be encouraging but Namjoon wasn't. I looked at him trying to send him a mental message asking him where was Seokjin. He shook his head slightly, I understood what he meant. He can't come. Yes, marrying Kris already broke his heart. Having it on his birthday shattered it. That makes no sense if he would stand here watching us getting married. My parents walked to my side and held my arm.

    "Our daughter, are you sure about this?" Eomma asked me.

    I stared at her with a confused gaze, "What do you mean, Mom?"

    "Your cousins told us about Kim Seokjin, Irene. He was the reason you wanted to go back to London eight years ago, but coming back here, you met him again, right? Don't you think that, means something?" my Dad said.

    "Irene, tell us, who does your heart long for? For eight years you kept him in your heart, didn't you? You have sufferred for so long, Irene. Make yourself happy now. Tell Kris the truth and let's stop this wedding." Mom looked at me with pleading eyes. The signal came for the start of the wedding but before I even had to march,  I held on to my gown to help myself not to slip and walked in big strides to Kris. My cousins ran to help me with my gown. As soon as I stood in front of him, I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me.

    "You... Finally realized it," Kris said. "It's Jin you really wanted to be with."

    "I'm so sorry Kris." My eyes started to get wet. I didn't want to hurt him but it was inevitable. It was clear in his voice but he was still so gentle. He took his hands to my face and kissed me in the forehead. "If there was one thing I learned from being with you, that is love does not fear. I knew I fought a good fight with Jin on trying to win your heart but I guess, I can never have the place he holds in your heart, Irene. I believe it is now time for me to admit that I can never have you. It is also now time for you to be brave enough and face the truth,that it is him you truly love," he said.

    "You are my bestfriend, the woman I love and I don't want you to live regretting your decision to marry me. I love you and I always will. If that means letting you go so that you can find your true happiness, I will do it. Irene Bae, you are free now." Kris let go of hand and smiled.

    "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, Kris." Tears fell from my eyes but he smiled instead.

    "No, Irene. You suffered more than anyone of us. You and Jin suffered so long trying to keep your feelings. You trying your best to push through with this marriage is enough for me, and I truly appreciate it but I know my limitations and I know you need to be with the one you truly love. I'm sorry if I had to wait for so long to let you go but it was also a difficult decision for me to make. Its difficult letting you go but also want you to be happy." Tears started falling from his eyes and I wiped them away.

    "Thank you, Kris. I'm so blessed to have you as my bestfriend. One day, you will meet the right woman for you and she will be as blessed as I am. I will forever be grateful to you. Thank you." I turned around and went to the boys. My heart pounded wildly against my chest.

    "Noona!" Jimin said with a big smile on his face. "You can be with hyung now!"

    "This will be the best birthday ever!" Yoongi exclaimed.

    Whatever they said didn't really register in my head. All I could think about now is how to find Seokjin.  "Namjoon-ah, where is he?"

    He was smiling like a madman, but who would not. Even I must look like one now. I need to find him. I need his warm body right next to mine now, I need to feel him breathing right next to me, smell his scent. I badly need him now.

    "He told me he will just be at your home."

    "At our home? What do you mean?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess only you two can understand what he meant? He is with Jinhyun, the teddy bear." Namjoon said.

    My mind went wild. Where will I find him? I racked my brain. Tree house, our tree house. Car, I need....

    "Let me help you." I looked to my back and saw Yifei walking to me.

    "Yifei."

    "I owe him one, Irene. I was a bit too cruel to him by asking him to stay away from you. I'm sorry, Irene. I just love my brother so much, I don't want him to get hurt, but that resulted to me hurting you and Jin. This is my way of saying sorry. Let me take you there," Yifei said, sincerity overflowing in every word.

    "Thank you, Crystal." She took my hand and led me out of the venue. My cousins gave me a Fighting hand gesture with Wendy mouthing 'Go get him!'

*****

Annyeonghaseyo, yeoreobun! I wasn't actually planning to update today but we are going on a summer vacation to Boracay this weekend and I have to prepare for it so I won't probably be active these coming days. So here is an early update! Enjoy and don't forget to comment! =)

Love lots,

satisakro_chi <3