CHAPTER 32- SEULGI'S COME BACK TO ME

SEULGI'S POV

    I sat in my studio looking at the finished sketches I made for the music video of BTS. I poured out all my emotions into it, every ounce of feelings that I buried for so long. It was simple but the meaning behind every design cultivated from the deepest emotions I have kept inside me.

    I looked up to my door when I heard someone knocking on it. I stood up and opened the door. "Dad!" I hugged my Dad and ushered him into my studio. As he sat down, he opened my sketches and looked into them.

    "So are these for the project you are doing now?" he asked. I nodded, while I opened the refrigerator to get him something to drink.

    "It's BTS, right?" I stopped pouring the juice in our glasses. "You are working with Hoseok." I nodded again.

    "The first time I met him back at the competition, I know he will be good for you. I already liked him for you, my daughter. That is why after giving him the letter from you, watching him acting as if he is okay even when I know he is not, it was heartbreaking."

    A tear fell from my eye. My Dad walked to me and hugged me. "When he told me goodbye, I realized I was really afraid of losing him, Abbeoji. I'm afraid of losing Hoseok, Abbeoji." I was actually sobbing on my Dad's arms.

    He shushed me rubbing my back. "I know it might be difficult to understand your actions from before but if you love him, then go and do something to get him back. He did it for you back then right? Do it for him now."

    At night, after my Dad left me, I opened up my drawer and pulled out a box from inside. Inside it held the necklace Hoseok gave me eight years ago. I stared at it, memories of me and Hoseok flooding my head. Will we ever go back to those days again? I know I was not in the position to ask those things, given the fact that I turned my back on him but somehow the necklace gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, he could have me back. I was willing to do anything, just anything to have him back. Even if it means swallowing my pride. I stood in front of my mirror and placed it back around my neck. I held on to the pendant and watched my reflection. "You have to do well on the presentation. Face them as Kang Seulgi, not as Elizabeth Kang. The old Seulgi they all knew and not the Elizabeth Kang who is a stranger to all of them."

    I took my phone and dialled Joy's number. I waited until she picked up her phone. "Yeobeoseyo, Eonnie?"

    "Joy, I need your help."

HOSEOK'S POV

    'Goodbye Kang Seulgi.' The words I said to her keep echoing in my head. After the trip to Maldives I decided to stay away from her, secluding myself to the comfort of the practice room, preparing for the comeback. We kept ourselves busy with the recording, dance practice and preparing for our new looks for the next album.

    Back to Me, this was actually a song I wrote eight years ago, right after she left. I kept it for a long time, not having the courage to show it since it brings back a lot of memories with her. How much I missed her, how much I want to see her again.

As I watch watch you walk away
Tears stream down my face
Asking you to please stay.
Here in this same place.

The view of your fading silhouette
Why you left, I try to comprehend
The memory of your sweet scent
I want to be cleansed

Here I am, counting the days
Will I ever see you again?
If by some good grace
Come back in my arms again

CHORUS:

Because I will be waiting
To see you, to feel you 
In my arms once again.
I will be waiting even if it takes me years

Because you are my soul
The one who makes me whole
So won't you please
Come back, back to me.

This cold winter breeze
Blowing inside me
I need some warmth, please
Oh can't you see?

It's freezing here, girl
Without you here
Only in a drowning swirl
Only grief seems clear

Oh please, come back (come back)
To where you truly belong
Right here with me (with me)
Here in my arms.

(Chorus 2x)

The touch of your hand
The sound of your voice
So Won't you please
Come back, back to me.

    Tears streamed down my face as we recorded the song. For the first time, I felt those feelings again, drowning in them again. When I have never pleaded to her, but this song showed how I really felt. But now everything is over. I said my goodbye and she never asked, never even asked for me to stop.

    "Hyung," Taehyung murmured. Jimin gave me a bottle of water.

    "Yah, if you don't feel fine, you can sit there for a while," Yoongi tapped my back, gesturing me to the sofa.

    "Ani, gwaenchanayo. Let's continue practicing." I knew I look like a mess right now but I didn't want them to worry. We continued practicing. Whatever it is I felt now, I tried to put it at the back of my head. I tried to clear my mind because of the nearing comeback but every time I remember her face, I feel like I was drowning.

    President Bang came through the door and we stopped the recording. "Annyeonghaseyo!" We greeted him with a bow.

    "So, boys, how is the recording going?" He asked with a big smile plastered on his face.

    "The recording is doing great, Sir. Do you want to hear it?" Namjoon said.

    "No need, I'll check on it later. I'm still have a meeting in five minutes. I just want to inform you, tomorrow, Miss Elizabeth Kang will be presenting the designs for your music video. I want you all to come. Arasso?" He flashed us a big smile and turned to leave the recording studio.

    I put my headphones back on. The boys were all looking at me with worried expressions. Knowing what I did back in Maldives, they are sure I was not ready to face her again.

    "Will you be okay hyung?" Jimin asked. "If you want, you can take a leave tomorrow, we'll just tell them you have something up and can't attend."

    I shook my head. "I'll be fine. I'm going with you tomorrow. Don't worry about me."

    "Are you sure?" Jin-hyung asked. I nodded. We continued with the recording and finished everything scheduled for that day. It was already half past 1 in the morning when we came back to our dorm and my body was sore from the dance practice but I felt more pain at the thought of her appearing in front of me later that day.

SEULGI'S POV

    "So you want me to help you with your presentation? Like tell Hoseok-sunbaenim you were wrong and you want him back?" Joy asked with an incredulous expression drawn all over her face.

    I rubbed my hands together, feeling really awkward with the request I made to Joy. "Nae, I know this is too much. Like I know how much you prepared the thing in Maldives and everything came down the drain, but I guess, it didn't. You see Joy, right after Hoseok said goodbye to me, I realized how much I still love him and how afraid I am to actually lose him. I can't, I just can't live without him." My voice shook.

    "Yeah, we really planned that trip well, we didn't expect that to happen. You don't know how disappointed we were to find out that that happened," she said sarcastically but I just shrugged it off. "But putting it aside Eonnie, I think you don't really need my help for this one."

    I suddenly felt like my heart fell to the ground. "Why? You don't wanna help me?" I felt like crying that time but Joy took my hands and looked at me intently. "Don't you see Eonnie? It's actually really easy. No crazy antics needed. Just say what you really want to say, just tell him your true feelings, when all you wanted to be is beside him. You've suffered enough because of your pride. You should know when to bring it down, humble down yourself." She smiled at me. "Now, what is it that you really want to say?"

***

    I got out of the car with my things in tow. Today was the day of the presentation of my designs for the clothes of BTS for their music video. I was nervous so my three cousins decided to accompany me to the presentation. We got to the Big Hit Building and together with my cousins, I headed to the AVR to prepare for the presentation.

    I can literally feel my hands shaking because of the nerves. Joy must have noticed it because she took my hand and smiled at me. "Eonnie, you'll do well. Just speak from your heart. Everything will be alright, trust me." I nodded. The three girls hugged me and proceeded to move to the back while I get myself ready for the presentation. One by one, the people came pouring in and I saw President Bang arrive with the usual big smile on his face.

    "Ms. Elizabeth! Welcome back! I hope you give us a big surprise with your designs today. Remember, we expect to receive the feelings. Arasso?" he said. I smiled and said yes. "So? What are are we all waiting for? Shall we start?" He clapped his hands twice. I scanned the AVR. The person I was waiting for was still not there.

    "Uhm, President. BTS is not yet here. It would be good to present the designs with them here right?" Seulgi said to the president. She hoped that Hoseok will be here to hear what she had to say.

    "Don't worry, They are on their way." Just as President Bang said, BTS arrived after a few minutes. My eyes darted towards Hoseoks hoping that he looks to my direction. He just walked straight, not even minding to look at me. It felt like a hand gripped my heart and started squeezing it hard. I looked at my cousins and they gave me a Fighting! gesture. I smiled at them and started with my presentation.

    "Good morning everyone. I'm Elizabeth Kang, a designer from Paris but I'm not going to face as Elizabeth today. I'll be here to show the real me, Kang Seulgi. But first, let me tell you my story on how I got this project. I'm a trainee of Cornelia Jacques, a celebrated fashion designer from France. I trained under her for seven years and last year I debuted under the name of Elizabeth Kang but even at that, she still never stopped guiding me. This led me to this project. I was asked to become the designer of BTS's concept clothes for their new music video and I feel proud to be working with such big names in the music industry especially of Korea, my roots."

    "To be really honest, I had a difficult time coming up with the concept of their designs. Actually, I already had my first designs before. I showed them to President Bang and I must say, he broke it to me gently, saying they were beautiful." I made an open handed gesture to President Bang, asking him to continue.

    "But it lacked the feel," he added. The people, including the BOD's laughed. I smiled at them.

    I continued with my speech. "I was actually confused on what he really meant with that. It took me days and nights pondering what should be done to the designs, how will I improve it. Going back to London for my fashion show I was able to talk to Cornelia-seonsaengnim again. And she made me realise something. But before that, here are the designs." I bent down and set the computer to reveal my designs.

HOSEOK'S POV

    I watched as Seulgi continued with her presentation. I kept my face blank with all emotions. I didn't want her to see right through me anymore, after all we are done. And right after this project, we will be done for good. She paused from her presentation and bent down to set the projector. What happened next shook my heart so badly. I suddenly jerked from my seat and took a good glimpse. A glint of light shone from her neck. Something hung from it. I had to blink my eyes twice or thrice to make sure that it was the one. The necklace I gave her. I felt someone tap me. I looked back at Jaekyung-noona. "It's the necklace, right? The one we bought for Seulgi eight years ago?" My eyes were big with shock, I just continued staring at her. Our eyes met and she gave me a faint smile. My heart pounded, my head felt like it was caught in a hurricane. I didn't know what to feel at the moment, I was in a whirlpool of emotions.

    Her voice echoed through the AVR once again. Her new drawings flashed through the screen and some of her designs already done and were dressed on some mannequins which were brought in by some help.

    "I know you are wondering how is it that they are simple monotone colors, unlike the usual ones I design. My designs usually go from eccentric, youthful ones, with vibrant colors. As I told you a while ago, President Kang told me that my previous design lacked the feelings the song evoked. I never really understand it before, maybe because I never really tried immersing myself to what the song really wanted to deliver. Thinking that I should rely on my skill and the techniques I learned before but after talking to my seonsaengnim, she made me realize the reason she took me under her wings. It was because of this." She clicked on the projector and on the screen flashed a wedding gown. 

    "Seonsaengnim said she took me after hearing my answer on why I created this piece. She said she liked how I was able to deliver to people my feelings of happiness on getting married to the man I truly loved, on my willingness to submit myself to him, on being with him for the rest of my life. This brings me back to the designs I created for the music video. Looking back at the lyrics of the song, I realized how I relate to the song myself. How I myself wanted to bring him back to me after pushing him away to chase my own ambition, of how I realized I was scared to lose him." She looked straight at me, saying those words. My body froze after realizing we were meeting eye to eye. Her words struck me like thunder bolt. What does she mean to say?

    "As I relate to this song, I realized that the writer, like it is in winter, felt so cold inside after losing the woman he loves. It was death like, pale, no apparent color. My designs wanted to depict all those emotions. The ice covering his heart, wanting to hide away the pain, the hurt, the fear off having to face another day without her by his side." I heard her voice shook a bit.

    "That I just wanted to feel your warmth once again. To feel you right next to me again. To see you smile at me again," I suddenly spoke from my seat. Everone's eyes went to my direction as I stood up and and went down to the stairs heading towards her. I heard Wendy gasp from their seat. Seulgi looked straight at me, her eyes starting to get wet. I got closer and closer and held her necklace. "You are wearing it again."

    "Hoseok-ah." She stood there frozen as she looked up to me.

    "I waited so long to see you wear that again." I knew all eyes were glued on the two of us right now, but I couldn't care less. Here she was standing right next to me. I was just waiting for her to say those words again..

    "Hoseok-ah, I was such a fool. I thought I'll be okay without you and that you are better off without me." Tears started falling from her eyes.

    "You are not the one to decide on that, Seulgi."

    "I'm so sorry, Hoseok-ah," she said in between sobs. I wiped the tears from her face and shushed her.

    "Gwaenchanayo, Kang Seulgi."  I was suddenly surprised when she wrapped her arms around me in a hug, feeling her head rest on my chest.

    "Hoseok-ah, will you please... come back to me?"

*******

Another update everyone! In celebration of the release of Red Velvet's new MV Automatic. Aren't they gorgeous? I'm so excited for the release of Ice Cream Cake! Hahaha!

Anyway, I hope this update makes you happy! Seulgi realized she can't be withotu her other half, Hoseok. For those who have been crying in the past few chaps, celebrate! =)

Sorry if the song is a bit, well, I don't know if it was well written or what. My songwriting skills don't come in par with that of Rapmonster, Suga or J-hope's but I hope you like it.

I would also love to know your thoughts. Comment, comment, comment. Hahaha! See you all on the next updates! 

XOXO

satisakro_chi