**It might be a bit boring for the next few chapters so just a heads up.

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Rin POV:

I walked to the bed and sat down carefully. I watched him sleep on his stomach with his hands on both sides of his head, his chubby cheeks were gathered and looked ever so squishy. He slept with his mouth open slightly and his long eyelashes really lovely, he was adorable.

Life was more bearable now, I had a reason to live now. A huge responsibility. I wasn’t burden by it, I was grateful for it. Without it, I would probably still downing myself in negative thoughts. I reached out and his hair back from his face, his hair was soft.

He saved me.

This boy sleeping in my bed rescued me from my darkest pits and brought colour back into my life. With him by my side, I could feel physically. We had this connection and I think he knows. Sometimes I don’t need to say anything and he knows what to do, he was a smart boy. I wouldn’t say that everything is smooth sailing, I still had the money issue at hand. I needed to find a job and fast, it would be better if I could work from home. Eonnie said that she will look out for some jobs, oppa too. Even Eunjoo offered to help. With all these people around me I know that I’ll be okay.

Looking at the time, it was just past 9 in the morning. I gently shook him, I didn’t want to give him a shock.

“Wake up.” I said softly and he opened his eyes. “Did you sleep well?” he rubbed his eyes and sat up, his hair stood out all over the place. He looked at me and broke into a smile before crawling into my arms.

“Ne.” I ruffled his hair and hugged him.

“We have to go out soon.” he looked up at me and nodded his head. Standing up, he wrapped his tiny arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my cheek. I carried him to the bathroom where he washed up. I dressed him up in a white shirt and black jeans with a trench coat given by Byunghun oppa. He was getting spoilt by the uncles. Just then the doorbell ring and he jumped up.

“Uncles?” he pointed to the intercom and I looked at it.

“Auntie.” I said and pressed the button and eonnie came in.

“Good morning my little prince!” he ran into her arms and she spin him around. “Did you sleep well?” she planted a kiss on his cheek and he nodded. She smiled at me and I nodded before heading into the kitchen.

“Have you eaten?” I asked as I prepared eggs.

“A bit, I grabbed a sandwich along the way.” she placed him on the chair and sat down. “Did you miss your favourite auntie?” she cooed and he nodded making her squeal in delight. I placed their food on the table after a few minutes and we dig in.

“So this will be his first visit to the clinic?” eonnie looked at me as she placed food into and I nodded. “Are you nervous?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s a simple check-up so I’m sure it will be fine.” She smiled. “Right?” she patted his head and he nodded. I cleaned his mouth and cleared the table before grabbing our stuffs. He and eonnie were already at the door.

“Eomma!” I looked up and he waved me over. I walked over and he smiled at me, I felt warm all over.

“Let’s go.” I held out my hand and he took it in his, together we went.

On the way to the clinic, everyone who walked by us would turn back at us. I was already used to it but I didn’t know if he would feel scared or anything. He grabbed my hand tighter and I looked down, he was looking up at me.

“Eomma, why are they looking at us?” I bend down until we were of eye level. I didn’t know what to say. Were they looking at me like normal times? I didn’t have a clue.

“I’m not too sure.” I said softly as I looked at his hands in mine. “Maybe because Chanwoo is so handsome and cute.” he looked back at me with his big eyes.

“Really?” I shrugged and nodded. “I want them to look at us because eomma is so pretty!” he cupped my face and smiled before hugging me. I carried him in my arms and walked to where eonnie was waiting for us. “Eomma is the prettiest person in the world.” He exclaimed loudly and people turned to us. I bowed to apologise and walked on. He snuggled against me and I held him tight, the weather was turning cold.

“Do you want to walk?” I asked as we turned around the corner. He shook his head and rested on my shoulder. “After this, you have to walked, you are a big boy.”

“Okay.”

I patted his back and carried him all the way to the clinic. The check-up was about half an hour, it consisted of the normal height and weight measurements and other miscellaneous things. The doctor said that there was nothing wrong with him just that he was slightly under weight. He suggested me to feed him more meat for a short period of time so that he can put on some more weight. So basically he is healthy, which is a good thing. After leaving the clinic, we went to walk around the area for a while, taking in the sights. He hasn’t been out often so I thought this would be a good opportunity to show him around.

“Rin ah, I need to go somewhere a while. Will you be okay alone?” eonnie looked at me apologetically after she got off the phone.

“I’ll be fine. Work is important, go.”

“Sorry! I’ll make it up to you, I’ll call later.” She waved and ran off. Chanwoo pulled my hand and I looked down at him, he didn’t need to say a word I knew what he wanted. He was hungry.

“Kimbap?” he nodded immediately and we went off to find a street side stall. We causally passed by a boutique and in the window display was a beautiful blue dress. I stopped for a while and looked at it. I was hit by a sudden sharp pain in my head and images flashed pass.

 

“I can’t, they are too special.”

“No, you can. I allow you too.” a lady looked “She would be your age now and I’m sure she doesn’t mind sharing. She always shared her stuff when she was younger. Besides, I treat you like my daughter, even Yixing treats you like his sister.”  

“Just do us a favour and wear one of these dress to the dinner. It’s only one night.”

 

I crouched over and grabbed my head in pain, I took in deep breathes. Chanwoo came to my side and hugged me tightly.

“Eomma.” I couldn’t reply him. The pain accelerated as the images continued. A male, he came up to me and held my hand. He looked at me with tear filled eyes before calling out to me.

 

“Mei, please.” 

 

I swayed as my whole head spin, I stumbled backwards a little and grabbed unto the side for balance. I gasped for air and tried to calm down. Slowly the pain dissolved and I could see properly.

“Eomma feeling better?” I looked at him, he looked really worried.

“Much better, sorry if I scared you.”

“Let’s go home. Eomma is sick.” He held my hand tightly.

“I’m fine, let’s go and eat.” I patted his head with my free hand and walked slowly. That conversation, it wasn’t in Korean, it was a foreign language. They were asking me to do something, I conversed with them in another language and I could understand what they were saying. It was so clear, they were talking to me. I’m confused.

Why am I seeing these?

These thoughts floated in my mind as we gradually walked to a street side stall located not too far away and sat down after ordering. I was starting to feel tired, it was the same as the ious time. I heard voices, the sharp pain and the tiredness. I tried to keep awake by drinking some water, I didn’t want to go back just like that without doing anything. Our food came out and I immediately forgot about the thoughts. I took one piece and fed him, he munched on it happily. “Is it good?”

“Yes!” he said with his mouth full and reach out of one piece. “Eomma, ah.” He held it out and I took a bite.

“Thank you.” he smiled and put another into his mouth. I know this might sound weird but just watching him eat, smile, and grow a bit every day was something I’m grateful for. The emptiness inside is almost gone, there is still a portion that can’t be filled up but still I felt whole. He was my vitamin. He was a gift send from heaven. My little angel.

I wiped his mouth clean and thanked the auntie before leaving. It was time to head home for his play time with his uncles. Believe it or not, he has a schedule to follow made by his beloved uncles who live next door. They really loved him a lot, when I told them about the adoption, they supported me wholeheartedly. And when they met him for the first time, they were all over him and from then on, they wouldn’t leave him alone, they had to see him every day. It didn’t seem to bother Chanwoo either, he was more than happy to have people to play with. He was fitting in really well.

“What are you going to do later?” I asked.

“Hide and seek!” he cheered and giggled. “Chanwoo is going to hide.”

“Are you going to hide from uncles?” he nodded and showed his bright toothy smile with a set of dimples. “Don’t get into any trouble and don’t make too much noise. Uncles maybe tired from working.”

“I know. Uncles busy and tired.” I ruffled his hair.

“Our Chanwoo is a big boy now.” we walked up the slope to the apartment building, swing our hands along the way. It was amazing, we got close so fast, it’s only been a week since I adopted him and he is so at ease being with me and even calling me eomma. It was like I was his real mother.

“Ah! That person!” Chanwoo let go of my hand and ran forward to a person, a male. He tapped the leg of the male and he looked down.

“Chanwoo.” He didn’t turn to me. “Jung Chan Woo.” He turned immediately, he knows that when I called out his full name, he is in trouble. The male turned too and our eyes made contact. His eyes widen and his mouth dropped a bit as if in shock. I walked closer to them.

“What did I tell you about running away from me? This is a road, there are cars around, and it’s dangerous.” He looked at me with his big eyes and pouted.

“Sorry. But I wanted to see him again.” he pointed to the male next to him. He wore his dark blonde hair down and had really sharp features. He was also really tall, like a model. He stared at me like I was a ghost, something I gotten used to. I broke the eye contact and looked down at the little one who was in so much trouble.

“What did I tell you about talking to strangers? I don’t think you should be playing with oppa today.”

“Ahhhh, ahhhh, I’m sorry!” he grabbed onto my leg and clang onto it for his life. “Please, I want to play.”

“I think you should be at home.”

“I don’t want! I want to play!” he cried out as I gazed down at him. “Eomma!”

“Eomma?” I heard a voice and looked up at the male. He looked dumbfounded. His eyes were filled with tears and his gaze was weird. He kept looking at me like I was a missing person who was found. I looked away and squat down to my sobbing baby.

“Can you promise me that you wouldn’t do that again?” he nodded. “If you do that again, do you know what will happen?” he nodded again. I reached out and wiped his tears away. “I’m glad you know, now stop crying, your handsome face is ruin.” I pinched his cheek gently and opened my arms wide. He came walking in and I hugged him tightly as he sniffed, I patted his back to help him calm down.

“Sorry, baby.” I said softly so that only he could hear. I didn’t mean to make him cry but what he did just now was really dangerous. He needs to know that. I turned towards the apartment building and walked in.

“Rin?” I turned around to that male. He looked at me and I did the same. How did he know my name? He took a step when I turned around. “Rin.” he breathed out as a tear slipped out from his eyes.

“How do you know my name?”

“It’s me, Kris.” He pointed to himself.

“I’m sorry I don’t know you.”

“You don’t remember me?” he pointed to himself, he looked desperate. I shook my head. “Han Se Rin, you are Han Se Rin right?”

“I’m sorry you got the wrong person.” he just stood, he looked a bit shocked. I wasn’t that person he was looking for.

“No, you look exactly like her.” he shook his head and stepped forward. I took a step back, I didn’t know him but he is claiming to know me.

“I don’t know a Han Se Rin. You must have gotten the wrong person,” I said as I took another step backwards. There is something about him that seemed familiar but also a bit distant. It was like sweet and bitter together.

“I hope you find the person you are looking for.” I turned and went into the building. He ran after us but the door closed on him and he couldn’t get in. He pounded on the glass once and I turned back. He was crying.

 

"Rin, Please. Please help me find her. I-I can't lose her. Not again."

 

I turned away immediately as the images flashed past. The pain was coming back, I quickly walked to the elevator and took it up.

 

“Rin, please. I beg you. Just this once.”

 

I barely got out of the elevator and struggled to my door. The pain was getting worst as I heard and saw images. My hands shook as I keyed in the code and the door opened. I placed Chanwoo in the ground and went inside. I collapsed in front of the door as it closed.

“Eomma.” He called out worriedly.

“I-I’m f-fine.” I said as I struggled to stand up. “Will you be okay here alone? They should be here soon.” I whispered, I didn’t have any strength left, the whole room was spinning and it echoed loudly. The voices inside my head continued.

“Ne.”

“Eomma, will go rest a while, I’ll be fine after resting.” I stumbled to the room with him at my tail. “If you need anything, just wake me up understood?” I turned to him, I could barely see anything. I could roughly see him nodding and I crashed unto the bed. The dizzy spells were still there and my energy was being drained away fast. Slowly everything faded to black.

 

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There was a tall male leaning against the balcony railing.  

“You can’t sleep too?” I asked him

“Yeah. I’m having weird dreams.”

“What kind?”

“About someone.”

“Are your dreams good ones? Like you have sweet dreams?” he turned and looked at me, his emotionless eyes and nodded. He looked familiar.

“Sometimes.”

“I envy you. You get to dream of nice, lovely dreams. I haven had one in a long time.” I said as he looked at me. “I’ve been having nightmares. I’ve lost count of how many I had. It’s been years since I had a good dream.” I turned to him and the look in his eyes changed a little, it seemed more sympathetic, like he pitied me.

“Those who has good dreams are lucky. They don’t have to suffer like me.” I said softly. “I can’t remember the time I had a good night’s rest without having to wake up.” I lean back against the chair. “I’m sorry for ranting at you. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s okay.” His voice rang in my head like ripples in the water.

 

~~~~~

 

“So what were you doing?” it was the same voice, the same person.

“I was just working on some documents. Nothing important.” My hand was on a laptop.

“Why so secretive?” he moved closer to me.

“Hey, really there is nothing to see. Unless you want to watch some shows.” I trailed off.

“What shows do you have?” he asked and pulled a chair near to mind before seating down.

“Running man and a couple of dramas.”

“Want to watch it together? I mean that’s if you want. Since neither of us can sleep.”

“Why not?”

“Who are they?” he pointed to the screen, there were 2 guys and me in the middle. They looked exactly the same, twins?

“My brothers. I miss them.” I said softly.

Suddenly, I was pulled from behind and I watched as her eyes widened as I fell backwards and water enveloped me. Fear grew inside and I began to panic. I struggled to break to the surface only to be pulled down again.

“Rin?” I heard a voice in the distance. “Rin, wake up!” I gasped as someone pulled me up, I breathed in sharply as air entered my lings.

“Are you okay?” I looked up, oppa was here, and I heard laughter from outside the hall. He looked at me worriedly and rested his hand on my forehead. “You are drenched in sweat. What happened?”

“I-I don’t know. I was drowning.” I breathed out. My head was in a mess, I saw so many things all at ones, and it all felt so real. That guy at the balcony, he was familiar, very familiar. He looked exactly like the male I met earlier, the only difference was his hair and his expressions. And that photo, I was standing between 2 tall guys, all three of us were smiling.

I was smiling.

I had no idea what was going on. I calmed down and many questions filled my head, I didn’t even know where to start. Then I remembered.

My brothers.

I have brothers? Do I have brothers? Who are there and where are they now?

“Rin.” I looked up at oppa, “Are you okay? Something happened right?”

‘Should I tell him about it?’ I asked myself. It seemed like only him and eonnie would know about me and my past. Staring right back at him I opened my mouth.

“Do I have brothers?” he froze.

“W-what do you mean?”

“Do I have twin brothers?” I asked again. My heart was hammering against my chest.

“How did you know?” he whispered softly and my shoulders slumped down. I didn’t know what to say. I have a family but they didn’t tell me about it. This also confirms one thing, whatever I am seeing and hearing maybe linked together. They might be my memories.

“I saw it. Why didn’t you tell me?” he looked down as he held my hand.

“We didn’t want to tell you because you went through a really hard time. It pained us that you had to go through all that and almost died, well you died but came back. Then you woke up without any memory, we thought of it as a sign. A sign for you to start anew, that’s why we didn’t say anything and gave you a new identity, a new life.” He looked up, he looked guilty. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, we thought that it was for the best.”

“But they are my family.” He nodded.

“Not biologically but they did grow up with you. They know about you and that you are here with us. They agreed with us and stayed away from you in case you remembered anything. They wanted this as much as us. They have always been watching over you.”

My brothers were watching over me all the time and I didn’t know. I went on with my life not knowing they existed. Even though I lost my memory, it must still hurt them a lot seeing me going on with life not remembering them at all. If we grew up there should be years of kinship that cannot be forgotten just like that. I must have hurt them a lot.

“Do they know about Chanwoo?” he nodded.

“They helped out with that as well. The cash, everything.” Knowing that they did so much for me and I didn’t recognise them at all, there was this heaviness inside my chest. They have been doing so many things for me, things that I don’t know about.

“Can I meet them?”

“Are you sure you want to meet them? Your memories might comeback, are you ready for that?”

“They are already coming back.” I whispered. “I’ve been seeing and hearing things and what I just saw in my dream was just confirmed by you. Those images and voices, they are my memories.” He let out a sigh and looked distressed. All they wanted for me was a normal and happy life, but it seems like fate wasn’t on their side or mine. I might have to go through another hard time.

“If I’m supposed to remember then let it comeback. I have you all and Chanwoo with me, I’ll make it through this. I’ve already died once.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked me once more, his tone was serious. I looked at him in the eye. There were still questions in my head that are left unanswered. That emptiness that has yet to be filed. I wanted, no, I needed to know.

“I'm sure.”

 

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Hi hi!

I'm just curious about what kind of genres you all like to read. Since the poll only allows 4 options, these are the more common ones seen on AFF I think. If you like reading other kind, please comment in the comment box for the poll. I'm just doing a short 'research' for my upcoming stories.

Thanks for reading!