Jimin's POV

"I'll always be your father. Accept that. You can't change this painful fact. Besides...if you didn't already notice, we're so alike in some points"

He took another mouthful of his beer and stared into my eyes grinning like freaking satan.

I narrowed my eyes watching him. He pissed me off, I really had a hard time controlling myself.

I needed to stay away but I couldn't move. The only thing I could do was watch him slowly killing me even more but I couldn't change a single thing. He was making me mad, I was literally going insane because of him but I couldn't let it out. Not at this place.

I was a monster. He was right. I was like him. it.
I didn't want to admit that, but when even he thought so...

I had to leave. Immediately.

So I gathered all my strength and muttered a " you" before leaving him there, at the grocery store, laughing like a mad man. 

I needed to find a place to stay. But where to go to? 

I couldn't go back to my father. No... I didn't wanna go back there. But I also didn't wanna sleep on the street again. 

. I really had nowhere to go to. I had nothing. Nothing at all.

Why couldn't I just be a normal guy? A guy with a home, family, friends and not this stupid unworthy piece of crap that's called 'my life'.

I've had everything before. I hadn't done anything bad back then, did I really deserve this ?

I had no control over my life anymore..

I scoffed quietly. I didn't even have a life no more..

With slow steps, I roamed down the streets and of course, it started to rain. 

I'd screwed everything up again. Why couldn't I just pull myself together? Just this time?!

My eyes teared up and I could feel the anger I had tried to oppress so bad come up again. But I couldn't do anything.

I hated myself. I hated myself more than everything else. Every single step I took, every word that came out of my chapped lips, every single thought that crossed my mind. Simply everything. And I didn't know what to do against it.

My mind went back to her. She was always so innocent, heart-warming and loving. The only person that understood me, knew how I felt and particularly wanted to stay by my side to overcome this demon inside of me. 

But I screwed her up as well.

I had hit her to the point she needed to stay in hospital. The only person that got along with me. I was dangerous. It had to stop, I had to stop. I couldn't let this happen no more. I had to change something. But how?

Thinking of it made my anger rise up even more. I still was a monster. A demon and noone could save me.

The more I thought about it, the worse it got. 

My heartbeat fastened up and my environment suddenly got blurry. The adrenaline shot through my veins as I balled my hands into fists. 

With every passing second I hated myself more. I couldn't stop it, the inner demon was completely taking control over me causing me to get even angrier at myself. 

I fastened my steps to leave this crowded area. But I didn't know where I was heading to, everything seemed so unclear and foggy, I couldn't identify anything.

I startet to run letting all of my things fall down leaving them behind until I bumped into somebody. .

"Hey! Can't you watch out where you're going?!", a very familiar voice shouted at me. 

Without thinking twice, I turned around and grabbed the persons collar. Jeon Jungkook. 

His eyes widened as he recognized me. 

"What?! Don't you dare to shout at me!! You really do wanna have blood streaming down your face again, huh?!"

I could see the fear in his eyes but that didn't stop me. In fact, it made it even worse while thinking back at that scene when the both of us fought til he was laying on the ground, unconscious, covered in his own blood. I didn't even know why I've threatened him this time again, it wasn't me who behaved like this. 

"Jimin..please", he begged quietly. "Let me go, I didn't know it was...you"

He was afraid of me, we once were best friends. It was all my fault, I had let him suffer but I regretted it. 

Therefore I tried to overcome myself and let him go.

I just couldn't beat him up again. He was the most innocent of them all. He didn't hate me that much, though I had been terrible towards him in the past. I knew this for sure and I was glad I did in that moment.

My breath fastened up again so I moved up to the nearest forest, where noone could see me.

This hatred was driving me crazy, I couldn't filter what was right or wrong anymore. Everything hurt, it was so intense. I just wanted this pain to stop. I wanted these thoughts, this life, to stop.

So I slowly lifted up my right arm and threw my fist against this giant tree in front of me. Blood immediately ran over my fingers as I hauled out for the second time. 

This pleasant pain made me forget what I was feeling. It hurt, but it was this sweet pain, nothing to compare with my mental state.

I was breathing heavily as I continued throwing my fists at that damn tree over and over again until I slided down onto my knees and broke down into tears. 

My hand had left a trace of blood I stared at while I sat there crying. How far did it have to go to feel like this?

I had wanted to die and nothing could erase this thought of mine. 

The punches had made me feel more alive but it didn't last long. My emotions crawled up again leaving an unbearable mark. 

The hate, anger, pain and sorrow that filled my body made me drown. It was awful. I didn't even know who I was anymore, I had lost everything. Even my true self. It was pointless to do anything. My whole life was pintless.

I didn't know what I was doing when I got up and started walking. I was completely unaware of my environment. I could only watch myself tear my body apart in a slow and painful way.

I moved steadier than before. Even my breath was calm again. But I knew that, with whatever situation I had to face, it would change immediately. I was like a grenade. Dangerous but inconspicuous at first, though once I'd get in touch with something, I'd destroy everything around me.

My legs moved sloppy as I walked out of the forest again. Luckily, this demon did not lead me to a crowded place again. Instead, I was walking up to the more dangerous areas of this town.

My feet came to a stop as I reached this dark hidden tunnel I used to sleep in when I was younger. 

I looked around as the memories of my father abusing me flushed back into my mind. Everytime he had beaten me up, I'd left his house and came to this very place. I hated it here but of course, I came back to it over and over again. 

Sitting down, I grabbed a sharp stone that rested in the corner. 

I thought of the multiple times I had reached out for something that sharp.

My gaze wandered around until it landed on my wrist. How comes that she never noticed those scars?

I let my fingers, which still were covered in now dried blood, run over the scars as I looked back at the stone. Should I?

I had the painful urge to do it, I had wanted to forget. 

I missed doing it. 

So I grabbed the stone and led it to my wrist slowly pressing it down, letting the pain sink in.

I closed my eyes as I cut deeper into my flesh feeling this familiar ache. 

After taking a few deep breaths, I repeated the same process creating new scars while trying to forget myself...

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A/N: Hey~ I've updated! yay :3 Just wanted to say that LoveKoreaAndAnime helped me with the ideas for this one (and the next chap hehehe) so be sure to check her out! She's awesome! <3 As always, I hope you like this chapter and please subscribe, leave a comment and upvote if you think my fic is worthy enough *^* Love y'all, see ya in the next chapter and bye <33