Another Christmas spent alone. I couldn’t even take a drink with JiYong like I used to, because he went to Japan to spend these days with his girlfriend. Not that I would blame him. You should always spend Christmas with the woman you love. And out of nowhere, all my friends had someone and just like couple of years ago, I was alone. Again. I took a shower and wearing only my pajamas pants, I took my tired body to the kitchen. Even tho I bought this apartment couple of weeks ago, boxes were still everywhere. I never got a chance and time to unpack myself. I was barely at home. I didn’t want to be at home. But, here I was. Alone, on Christmas Eve. Will I ever find someone who will replace the empty, aching space that my first girlfriend made, when she dumped me? I didn’t want to think about her. Not today. I took the first opened box from the kitchen island, that was half empty, because JiYong once came here and without a word started to unpack me. JiYong… I recalled the event from last week when he took me for a beer and grilled pig skin, just like we used to do when we where trainees and announced he wants to propose to his girl. Surprised? No, I was not. They are together for more than 4years now. Everyone were just waiting for the moment he’ll make the move. My longtime friend. Best friend. Brother. On one hand I was extremely happy for him. But on the other hand, I wanted to cry over my misery when I was thinking about him. My man, taking his relationship to the next level. And I? Where was I? Always alone. My only relationship didn’t even survive long enough to celebrate our 1st anniversary.

Where could I meet a girl, when all what I was doing was working?  Forever alone, maybe I should really start thinking about dating fans… they are the only girls I’m seeing regularly.

Agh!! Stop it Dong YoungBae!! You’ll meet a girl. She’s somewhere out there, also spending her Christmas alone! There must me a girl for you! But she won’t knock to your doors! You need to go out more out of the studio! I told myself and angrily closed the box, went to my bedroom and dressed in sweatpants and a taking a hoodie. Running was always a good thing to clear my mind.

Knock knock

I thought I heard someone knocking to the main