REVIEW PICKUP: hopless-romantica

Title: 3/5 It's not very original since there are so many other stories with a title exactly like it or similar to it. From what I've read, there has been nothing to do with the title that relates to the story since she didn't fall in love yet.

Description: 4/5 The description tells exactly what's happening so that's great, but I think you could word it better. Also, 'resposibility', should be 'responsibility'.

Vocabulary: 8/10 There weren't any words that caught my attention. If you want, you can use much better words with the same meaning by using a thesaurus. There were a lot of simple words. But that's sometimes good since for some users on asianfanfics, English isn't there first language.

Grammar: 8/10 There were by much mistakes grammar wise. But, the sentence structures were perfect and the punctuation and tense was spot on. When you have time, maybe you can proofread it a little but there's not much to the point where I'd be frustrated. Also, there were many words that weren't needed. In your sentences, trying getting straight to the point. Ex: "It cut me so deep I was now bleeding." You can cut it down to, "My arm bled." If you want, you can also describe it. 

Plot: 4/10 The overall plot is super typical. Arranged marriage, an accident, love triangle - it's all predictable and typical. There’s nothing special or new about this plot.

Effect on reader: 8/10 There was a lot of people asking for updates and long chapters so you made them want more. There were a couple questions out of confusion and I suggest you clear them up. 

Flow: 6/10 In my opinion, I thought that it was a bit rushed and not well described. You should take some time to describe the situation better and expand the chapters because in some chapters, there was only one paragraph. I could see what was coming and there weren't any surprises or anything. The point of view switches made me understand everything clearly.

Overall: 68/100

REVIEWER: Jindos21

REVIEW FINISHED ON: 07/22/2014

Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!