Entry number: 08 

He... he kissed me. With no warning, nothing to tell me he had possible feelings for me before beforehand he went and kissed me! I try talking to him but he just walks away or starts a conversation with someone else. How can someone just kiss you like that and then just blank you? How can Luhan just keep ignoring me like this without giving me the explanation I deserve for why he kissed me like that? 

It just... this is all confusing me! It !

~

Luhan had messed up. He knew that. 

The minute he broke away from the kiss and saw the expression on Sehun's face, he regretted it instantly. What an idiot was the first thing that had crossed his mind. He had just made the situation between him and Sehun very awkward, just as it was finally going right between the two of them, he had to screw it all up with a kiss. 

Good thing Baekhyun had shown up when he did. This had given Luhan the opportunity to slip away and think about what he had done. 

What happened now though? Surely this had made it extremely awkward between the two of them. Sehun would want answers as to why Luhan had kissed him, but Luhan didn't have the answers! He needed time to think this over, for everything was rattling around in his brain right now and wouldn't plan on slowing down anytime soon. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Jongin asked, sighing when he saw Luhan snap out his trance and turn to face him 
"Sorry, what?" yep, he wasn't listening to him 
"Ah it doesn't matter. I can be bothered to repeat it" and left it at that as Luhan shot his friend an apologetic look. 

Luhan was going to have to snap out of this soon. It was bad enough that this was taking over his private life- it made poor Jongin think for a second back there that Luhan was ignoring him! He wasn't though. Luhan would never ignore his friends, his mind was just somewhere else at the moment. Which happened to be the case when he was in class as well. Lord knows how many times a teacher ha-

"Lu Han" 

And here comes the scolding which would leave Luhan there to mutter an apology and try to fight the blush that threatened to make an appearance out of embarassment. This was becoming silly now! 

~

"How's your dad?" Baekhyun asked 
"Don't know. I haven't spoken to my gran since, well you know" Sehun replied. He could hear Baekhyun sigh and knew exactly what was coming next, Baekhyun usually did react this way after all. 

"Sehun-"
"I know what you're going to say, but I just cant bring myself to go back there. Not yet anyway" he quickly interjected and watched Baekhyun slowly close his mouth. 

Besides having to face the fact that his dad was currently in hospital, he also had Luhan to deal with. Luhan and that freaking kiss. 

What was that all about? You can't go kiss a guy like that and offer up no explanation for it, right? Sehun had tried constantly since that day to hunt Luhan and pull him aside to have a private word, Luhan was cunning though and always found some way to avoid Sehun. Whether it was walking in another direction to him in the school halls to starting a conversation with someone he hardly knew so Sehun couldn't speak to him. The guy was making sure that he avoided Sehun at all costs, and he was doing a very good job at it! 

"Hey I'll be back in a bit" he said to Baekhyun jumping up from his seat and making his way inside, completely blanking Chanyeol and Jongin when they walked past and waved to him. He was just going to have to apologise later for that, right now he was on a mission. 

~ 

"What do you mean you've got to go to the library?" Minseok asked 
"Exactly that" Luhan replied. It wasn't true though, he was saying that so he could avoid Sehun. He was just hoping that Minseok wouldn't pick that up or suspect anything suspicious. 

"You never go to the library like that of your own free will. What's going on?" Minseok asked 
"N-nothing! Really. I-I'm struggling in some of my lessons and I thought that extra research wouldn't kill you know?" Luhan replied and, thankfully, Minseok didn't press him much further. 

"Alright then. If you feel like joining us, we're outside by the field" and with that walked away, leaving Luhan there in peace to sigh and run a hand through his hair. Today was a beautiful day and yet he was going to have to spend it cooped up inside because he was just too afraid to come out and face Sehun. This time alone was going to spent coming up with a decent explanation. He's going to have to wrack his brain, come up with an explanation and finally face Sehun. 

"Han" 

Oh no 

"Lu Han wait!" 

Did you guys really think that just because I put in a kiss in the last chapter everything was now going to be plain sailing? 

Psh, what kind of author do you think I am? This is only the beginning of it all! The beginning of the not-quite-here-yet end shall we say. 

Until the next chapter!!