Donghae was seated at the other side of the bed staring at Jang Mi who is trying to put Bada to sleep. She’s humming a lullaby like she always does to make the little boy sleep. Jang Mi’s mom already left for home leaving them alone.

She noticed Donghae’s silence. Even while putting Bada to sleep she couldn’t stop thinking that she’ll end up having Donghae beside them this evening.
 

“Stop that.” She told him firmly.

“Stop what?”

“That.”

“What do you mean?”

Jang Mi took a deep breath and looked at Donghae. She must be strong for her child.

“That. I know you’re thinking of so many things about this. I’m telling you, that won’t do good.”

Donghae’s lips curved for a smile.

“You’re becoming defensive.”

She scolded herself because he was right. But having him tonight with them wasn’t expected. It has been almost 2 years. She couldn’t fix her thoughts.

And the worst part is that she couldn’t control her feelings.

Yeah. I’m really stupid.

She still loves him still. She always knows that. And she’s not sure if that would ever change. It has always been him.

After giving birth to Bada she never thought of having relationship with another guy. She’s thinking of how to raise Bada. How she will give her a better future. That was her priority in life now.

“How old is he?”

I was defensive?Fine!

“Almost a year old.”
“I see.”

Then he’s silent again.

So what now? You’ll ask if he’s your son? Huh!

“He’s my son right?”

She felt her heart was pierced. Her thoughts start to come out of Donghae’s mouth.

How could she tell him? Of course she can’t.

“No.” She finally said.

At the end, she decided to lie to him.

I think it’s better to be like this. I don’t want to add up to the problem we have. It’ll be more complicated if I’ll tell you now. Donghae, mianhe.

“Please stop lying.”
“W…why would I lie?”
“It's because you don’t want to oblige me with the responsibility.”

He knows me too well. It’s really true. All he said was right.

“So if he’s not mine then who’s his father?”
“Someone you don’t know.”

Instead of saying more, Jang Mi chose not to say in details. She can’t afford to say another word that she’ll end up regretting.
 

“Please my son should rest. You can leave now.”

But it seems like Donghae respected her decision in talking too much. He didn’t ask her another question about Bada again

Jang Mi thought that all his queries are over. But she was wrong.


“Jang Mi…why did you left that sudden?” He asked her.

She was like choked up with what he said.

“I have to. What happened at the apartment, it was something we didn’t expect. Let’s just leave the past. It’s all different now.” Jang Mi answered without looking at him. She’s afraid he could see everything in her eyes. That she’s lying and that she loves him still.

“I’m sorry I bothered you. I’ll go now.”
 

Donghae then went closer to Bada and kissed him on the forehead.

Her heart seemed to fall off her chest on the sight of it.

“Get well soon.”

She stopped herself from saying anything. She’s scared of doing another mistake.

“Bye.”

Soon Jang Mi was left alone with Bada. She felt her eyes warmed again.

Until when will I keep crying because of you?

She smiled bitterly looking at Bada. He was sleeping soundly.

I’m sorry son. I can’t even give you your father. How could I could you something that’s not mine? Maybe I could tell him some other time. But mom’s not ready yet. Forgive me.

She fell asleep with tears in her eyes.
_____________________________________________________

The next day their room at the hospital was flooded by fresh flowers, fruits, and balloons which her uncle sent for Bada. He already covered the hospital bill and the medicines. She refused at first but her uncle insisted. So in the end, she just thanked him for that. His uncle was always there times that she needs help. That’s why when she learned that she’s pregnant, she felt so down for her uncle who thought that she would learn how to run the company. But now she’s back and will fulfill her promise to him. After Bada will be fine, she’ll continue working for her uncle.

Donghae didn’t come back after that night. She wasn’t waiting for him but she felt sad. There were no SuJu members who came too.
Did he not tell them?
There’s a lot running through her mind. Donghae probably not told them because if they knew, they would rush to the hospital too see them.

Bada was discharged after 2 days. She spent the succeeding days taking care of Bada making sure he’ll not get sick again.

“Jang Mi, what will you do on Bada’s birthday? It’s next week already?” Her mom reminded her.
“I know mom. Maybe just a simple celebration with you guys here at home. I’ll invite uncle too.”
“How about Bada’s father? He already knew you have a son. As a friend you’ll not invite him? How about your friends?”
“I don’t know. Maybe not mom.”
“I don’t how to help you. You’ve been through so much.” Her mom said as she hugged her.
“I’ll be fine mom. And Bada too. With you guys around, I could raise him well.” She answered.
“But you can’t keep it forever. Donghae must know too. It’s his right. Give him a chance to be a father Jang Mi.” Her mom said.

She was like stricken by a lightning and stared at Bada.
Her mom is right. It is Donghae’s right to know. He must be given that chance. If they can’t be more than friends, then they’ll be just friends. What matters is that Bada will have someone to call ‘Appa’.
It’s a very tough decision. She’s not sure how to carry it out

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