Day: SIX

“Do me a favor honey, please take care of yourself okay? You’ve been taking care of others for far too long. “

Her mother mused with a weak smile as Zai bit back a sob.

“Mom don’t say that. I’ll never get tired of you, really.”

She managed to smile as well because she knew, she knew all too well her that smiles give her mother strength and right now she needed it the most. And this time she missed the times her mother had to force it out of her; saying things like ‘don’t scowl Zai, you’ll scare all the guys away’.

“I love you, and you should know I loved your father as well. But he loved his dreams more so I had to let him go.”

Zai's Apartment, Seoul, South Korea 4:00 P.M.

The cold water did no justice to alleviate her headache, and Zai had contemplated on whether that was from the bloody weather, or some other disease she caught or that reoccurring nightmare she had. In fact it was a memory rather than a nightmare. It was the last minutes she had with her mother and last minutes she keeps on wishing she could go back to. The words she left unsaid were the ones she wished she could undo. 

I love you too, mom.

I’ll miss you so much.

“And I still do” she sighed and looked at her pale reflection, a hint of red tint in her lips, gaunt cheeks and a cold straight gaze. Zai forced a tepid smile; smiles never suited her- she thought. So it disappeared as fast as it came; nor crying. In fact, she sees no point in these complex emotions that ruin people; emotion that consume them yet end up being buried in vain at our ends.

She hasn’t always been a cynic. Heck, her childhood pictures would seem like a stranger. A girl in pigtails with a wide toothy grin hugging her stuffed teddy. Hideous, she would say now. But she did miss those times.

She wished she could’ve ran more; laughed more.

Loved more.

But you never actually realize anything until it’s too late you know?

And sometimes maybe you also have to realize it isn’t.

That those number of days can make a lifetime.

But she didn’t.

Yet.

*Knock Knock*

Zai heard faint but insistent knocking.  What the hell, is making that noise?

And she almost wanted to give that a person a piece of her mind when she shrugged it all off in a matter of seconds. Since when did she start caring anyway? Why should she waste energy for a mere stranger? As she listed all the other reasons in her head, the sight momentarily hindered her from doing so.

It was a restless Kim Jongin pacing back in forth.

“Hey..Zai” he smiled sheepishly, scratching his head when he finally noticed her.

“My sister asked me to give you these, she made a lot and didn’t want them to go to waste.” Zai peered at the neatly wrapped box of cookies urged into her hand.

“Oh, okay. Give her my thanks” she nodded and was about to head inside again.

“Wait-“ She turned and was slightly confused to see an unreadable expression from the guy.

“And I’m sorry..”

“…”

“For yesterday..” Jongin gulped not really getting any response from the latter other than dead silence.

“I don’t know what I did, and I might come out as a jerk for saying that, but honestly I don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe because I screw up a lot of times and I lost track as to which one and or maybe because my sister scolded me to-“ he kept on rambling and Zai had to bite down a small laugh.

“-but that’s not important. Just me, saying sorry. Please say something and never make me do this again? Please.” He sighed, catching his breath. A small proud smile appeared on his lips after his little speech.

Still got it Kim Jongin, that didn’t seem so bad.  Asa!

“Eyy, what’s that? An apology from Kim Jongin? Mind repeating that again?” she raised an eyebrow, mocking him from their last conversation.

Jongin pouted with deflated shoulders as she rained on his parade,

“Yah.. How about I buy you chicken instead, yeah?”

“And how is that even any consolation?” Zai’s co