It's been a month since he heard Mrs. Kim's explanation. There's no news about Yoona. He couldn't sleep properly at night. All he wanted to do was seeing Yoona. He wanted to meet her, seeing her face again, apologizing everything that he'd done to her. He did a lot mistakes, abused her, took her ity and ruined her life. He couldn't even concentrate at the office, making his father notice his action.

That afternoon after the meeting, Jonghyun got a call from one of his detectives, saying that he found Yoona. Jonghyun became so excited. The detective said that Yoona has been lived in Busan for two years and then came back to her old house recently. Jonghyun ended the conversation immediately and grabbed his car key, going to her house. He run to the parking area and steered the wheel faster. His heart beat faster along the way. Anxious, worried, and excited blended into his soul. He'd meet Im Yoona after 5 years apart, the only girl who can make his heart flattered. He might be slept so many women before but it couldn't compare to her. That's why he run to her house immediately.

He parked his car in front of a big house. It's been five years for him not visiting the house. All memories suddenly came up, good and bad. He's ready to meet her whatever action she'd take, rejection or second chance.

He locked his car and walked to the door. The atmosphere was so quiet actually. He rang  the bell but nobody's out. He pushed the button again and suddenly the door opened. A middle-age woman and a boy, around four or five year old boy came out. The woman was a bit surprised looking at him. It felt like it's been a while for her to see him. Jonghyun tried to remember anything about Yoona's family.

"Annyonghasseyo", Jonghyun said his greeting while bowing his head.

"A-annyonghasseyo. Lee Jonghyun-ssi", the woman stuttered, still remembering him. Jonghyun looked at her and the child, observing the house. The house felt so different. It's really quiet and ... cold? As if the house took your happiness.

"Mrs. Song?", he asked her, making sure. She nodded her head. "Does Yoona still live here? I really want to meet her", uttered he. Mrs. Song looked sad and also a bit surprised. She hasn't seen him for a while and then he came to see her.

Mrs. Song turned her head to the boy, lowering her body, "Can you please go to your bedroom for a while?"

The boy nodded and went to his room. Jonghyun's eyes also followed his moves.

"Well, Miss Yoona is actually here", she suddenly told something, making him back to his sense. "She is in her room", she added.

"Can I meet her?", he asked sincerely. Meanwhile, Mrs. Song hesitated to bring him to meet her. She narrowed her eyes as if she's worried about something.

"Can I?", Jonghyun asked her again. Mrs. Song sighed, "very well. If you really want to meet her, I'll bring you to her room"

She then went to Yoona's room, Jonghyun followed behind. "It's been a while, Mr. Lee", she said between their walking. Jonghyun's attention moved to her. "How's your life lately?", asked her out of the blue.

"It's so-so. I just came back from England", he explained it. Mrs. Song nodded her head. "How's Yoona?", he asked, making her stop her step. She suddenly moved her head to face her. Jonghyun was confused, being stared by her. She stared at him as if he asked the wrong question. "You'll see, Mr. Lee", she said it as calm as she could. They arrived at her door. Jonghyun stared at the door. That door would connect him with Yoona after a long time. Though he had come to her room before, the longing felt stronger.

"I'll leave you here. I hope everything's gonna be ok", she smiled strangely while leaving Jonghyun in front of the door. Jonghyun's confused, furrowed his forehead for a while but his excitement to meet her conquered all. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. He entered the room carefully. The room was a bit messy and felt so strange. It's not like Yoona. She always cleaned up her room. He saw her paintings but her paintings looked so dark and empty. Previously, she used to love the bright colors but then he looked at her dark paintings. It felt so sad, her paintings described something bad.

He moved his head, searching for Yoona. "Yoona? Where are you?", he called her name. He then suddenly looked at a shilouette of a woman. She stood at the balcony, trying to do something. He swiftly approached her and abruptly widened his eyes. Yoona's trying to jump from the balcony. He grabbed her wrist faster and caught her body. Yoona was screaming and hitting his body. He hugged her body tightly but Yoona pushed his body, trying to escape from his embrace. He tightened his embrace. He felt her body was trembling so hard, her hands still tried to push his body, and she's crying and sobbing.

"What are you doing?", Jonghyun asked her softly, trying not to intimidate her. Yoona kept hitting his chest, pushing his body all over again. "Leave me alone pleaseee... Why you have to appear inside my head? Don't touch me. Please, I didn't burn the studio...", she cried so hard, almost begging. Jonghyun was so surprised with her statement. My God, she still remembers the studio! He thought. Jonghyun was so damn guilty. He loosened his hug to see her face. Her face was wet, full of tears. She run out of energy but kept begging him, sobbing. "I didn't burn your studio. Please, don't touch my body."

DANG! As if something smacked his head, he realized that Yoona was talking about that night. It made her traumatized and it made Jonghyun even guiltier.

"I know, my dear, I know you never did that", he said softly while rubbing her back, convincing her to be calm. Actually, it made her furious even more but Jonghyun still hugged her, letting her hands hit him everywhere while said "I didn't burn your studio". He knew he deserved more than this. It's heart-breaking actually but all he can do was just hugging her, comforting, and coaxing her so that she didn't do something stupid again.

Yoona was out of energy, kneeling down, but he held her body. She's fainted. Jonghyun laid her body on his lap, embracing her and staring at her face. He her hair, wiping her tears and sweat carefully. He missed that face. He missed that eyes, nose, and lips. She's beautiful as always as he observed her face and body all over again. But something made him worried. Her face looked so pale, even her body was thinner. Both of her wrists had a scratch, she'd been trying to kill herself truthfully. Jonghyun immediately embraced her once again. He felt so damn hurt seeing that. He then carried her body inside, putting her on the bed carefully. He covered her body with the blanket and sat beside her on the edge of the bed, caressing her cheeks. His gloomy eyes stared at her deeply. "It must be hard for you, I'm sorry", he whispered. He really wanted to kill himself after seeing her condition. He never thought the gambling would be this far. He’s jerk but ruining someone else’s life is another story.

KLIK! He heard someone opened the door. He turned his head to see who's coming in but he couldn't. He looked at Yoona again and found a boy he met before, bringing his book.

"Mommy!", the boy said while caressing Yoona's cheek. Jonghyun was suprised. She has a child? Is she married now? With whom? Or is he ... ? He thought deeply.

"Is mommy sleeping?", he asked him, making Jonghyun back to his sense. He smiled, "hmm".

The boy was pouting his mouth. Damn it! His poutingmouth is just like Yoona's, he cursed inside. "I want her to see this. Ahjumma gave me this", he pouted his mouth again, leaning his head closer to Yoona's face. "Good night. Have a nice dream.", he kissed her cheek and said a good night though it's still 4 pm. It made him flattered. The kid really had a good manner.

"You want me to read this for you?", he smiled at him. The kid nodded his head shyly. Jonghyun moved his body and sat beside him while the kid's laying beside Yoona. Jonghyun took the book, flipping the pages. The kid focused on his book, making Jonghyun smile wider. "Before we start, what's your name, my dear?", he stared at him who looked so sleepy.

"Jonghyun. Im Jonghyun", he said softly, almost whispering.

***

After the little Jonghyun slept, he left both Yoona and him in the room. He coverd them with the blanket. Jonghyun immediately searched for Mrs. Song. She's the one who knew the whole story. He believed that Jonghyun's father is him. His heart beat faster after seeing Jonghyun. He just realized that they look alike. He went downstairs and found Mrs. Song in the living room, cleaning up the sofa. Jonghyun slowly approached her.

"Mrs. Song can we talk for a moment?", he said. Mrs. Song stopped her move, approaching Jonghyun.

He stared at her, crossing his arms on his chest. He really wanted to scold her because she let Yoona being alone in her room but he controlled himself because he needed her explanation.

"What happened to Yoona? Why you left her alone in her room? you know she can kill herself", Jonghyun threw all the things he wanted to say. Mrs. Song looked a bit angry but she tried to control her emotion in front of him.

"I don't know where to start, Mr. Lee. Which part do you want to hear?", she asked like offering a deal to him. Jonghyun narrowed his eyes. Something inside him told that she didn't want him there.

"I want you to tell everything", he said it firmly. Once again, Mrs. Song was doubt and afraid to tell the story, but she had to. She knew that Jonghyun is the father of Yoona's child and he had to know what happened to her since they broke up.

She sighed. Jonghyun was anticipating the story. She then told from the beginning. She said that day Yoona went home in messy look. "She looked so tired and said that her body's hurt. So I took a look at her. She just wanted me to prepare warm water on the bathtub and also dinner. After that night, she always feels anxious, I didn't know what happened to her. She also refused to go to school. Luckily, the exam had finished. She refused to come to the ceremonial, too", she told him in sad tone. Jonghyun gulped, he waited for her next words. He already prepared everything to hear the truth, his logic, mind, soul, and heart.

"Every night she cries and wides awake because of the bad dreams. Since then, I was curious about what had happened to her. I asked her but she didn't want to answer. It's happened for almost seven months. She became timid and quiet as if something took her soul. And that morning, she suddenly felt something wrong with her body", she explained it clearly, Jonghyun widened his eyes. He guessed the next story inside his head. If it's true then he'll be the cruelest man alive.

Mrs. Song continued the story, "she kept throwing up and her body felt so weak, then I realized that she's pregnant. I tried so hard to remember every guy who was close to her but I just found two, You and Im Minjun-ssi. However, there's no one who made her flattered and smiled everyday except you. I assume you did something to her, didn't you?"

CRAP! That question ruined his concentration. He wanted to say yes but his mouth kept close. His face became pale as if he run out of blood. Mrs. Song knew that Jonghyun got the point.

"I won't judge you. I just want you to know that she tried to kill herself three times and also tried to kill her child. I could help her back then but I realized the child has a right to live. And it's so hard for me to prevent her not to kill herself or her child. I also gave the child name just like your name", she added, "It’s my first time truthfully leaving her alone in her room. I didn’t regret it because I wanted to show you her real condition. Her family didn’t care about her. Mr. and Mrs. Im only give her and me money every month but they never come home. Her oppa also went abroad after his graduation”

Jonghyun lost his words. The explanation got him so bad. As if something stabbed his back with a sharp knife. Im Yoona was suffering. She kept the story by herself, made her dying inside. She even begged him to not touch her body. Why she had to feel it alone? He thought sadly.

“Can I stay here?”, he asked nonchalantly, making Mrs. Song confused. Jonghyun then glanced at her, realizing that she didn’t understand what he wants. “I want to live here, with Yoona. "Please let me take care of her", he said it sincerely, almost begging. This is the last thing he could do it for her.

She wrinkled her forehead, signaling doubt and disagreement. "If you just feel guilty towards her, just forget it. I need proof", she told him firmly. Jonghyun gulped, he's so nervous in front of her suddenly. As if she's her real mother.

"I'll try my best", he said, his eyes were trying to convince her. He believed he can make a change, a good one. But, you know sometimes to see the rainbow, you have to walk through the rain. Jonghyun still hasn’t seen the rainbow yet. It seemed too far away, looking at what he’d done to her, but he believed good thing will come. He wanted to believe that.

woot! half of the journey. Enjoy! :)