Jinli took a deep breath and smoothed down her skirt. Her hands felt cold and clammy and warm all at once. Even though she had spent the last week seeing Daehyun in bits and pieces as she wrapped up filming, it felt as if this was their first real meeting in a while. Of course they wouldn’t be alone. She knew that he had invited his friends as well. But this wasn’t for work. This was just because. 

She had spent hours staring in the mirror, deciding whether to do anything special, but scared that it would come across as presumptuous. At the end, she decided she was going to treat this like any dinner party. She kept her wavy hair down and put on minimal makeup. Although she wore a dress, it wasn’t anything beyond what she would wear out with friends. At the very last minute, though, she had reached into her drawers and ran her fingers over the delicate cool chain and tucked it into her fist.

The entire time she drove, the bracelet had dangled off her wrist and she found her eyes drawn to it. Twice, she had wanted to take it off. It was a bit bold, but after the exhilarating freedom of realizing and admitting to herself her feelings, she wanted to take another chance. The worst that could happen is that he could turn her down and at her age, what was with a little bit of embarrassment and heartache?

Before she could knock, the front door opened, and there he was. Daehyun smiled at her, his eyes crinkling at the sides and sharp canines showing as he held out his arms. “Hey, you made it.” He looked so good. He was just wearing a casual button down, with his sleeves rolled up over his forearms, and jeans. 

Jinli smiled and stepped into his hug. He felt familiar but also foreign and she swore he could have felt her heartbeat thud against his chest. But he didn’t say anything, only carefully stepping aside and ushering her in. “Come in. You’re the first one here actually.”

Her breath caught. For a second, she had wondered if his friends would have tried to play matchmaker and left them alone. It made her blush to realize that a small part of her actually hoped this was the case. “Jongup says he’s picking everyone up, so they’re running a bit late.”

Although she knew the others would be coming, Jinli still couldn’t help but smile. It has been so long since they have all gathered. But she was grateful for however long she had with Daehyun. She ran her hand along his sofa. “So, are you getting settled into the newly renovated home?”

Daehyun was still looking at her with an intensity she felt curl in her chest and stomach. “I love it. It really is what I was imagining. Thank you.”

"You don’t have to be so formal,” she waved his words away and then realized that the bracelet was dangling right in front of their faces. She saw the moment recognition spread across his face and his eyes came to hers. 

There was such a look of earnestness and even hesitant hope that Jinli thought she couldn’t have possibly been wrong. Could it be that they do feel the same way about each other? Any words he may have had, though, were interrupted by the sound of gravel crunching. And then there was a flurry of noise and activity as his friends came up the porch.

"Hyung! We brought the food!”

Junhong burst through the door and his smile grew even larger when he saw that Jinli was already there. “Noona! You came early!”

The moment was over but Jinli laughed. “More like you guys are just late.”

Jongup and Youngjae came in, struggling with the bags of food and drinks, and then it was Yongguk. Jinli felt her heart warm when she saw Daehyun’s oldest hyung, always a pillar of strength and comfort to her. “Yongguk Oppa! It really has been so so long.” 

Dinner was everything she had missed in the last few years. It was hearing the two younger ones talk with the same enthusiasm as they had when they were younger and watching Yongguk look at each over them with such immense fondness. Daehyun sat across from her and Youngjae next to him, and even though Youngjae was currently speaking to her, Jinli found herself looking over at Daehyun more often than was probably polite. 

It was incredible to her that they would end up like this. Even though the majority of their marriage had been difficult, and some gatherings with his friends had been fraught with tension, there had been moments like this, where they made her feel like she belonged. The only thing that was different now was Daehyun looked so relaxed. He was laughing and didn’t have the old irritability around him. Now, when he glanced over at her, he did so with so much gentleness and warmth. 

"It’s getting late.” Jongup stood up and stretched, stifling a yawn. A quick glance at the oven clock told them that it was past midnight. “I really should get going. Minah wants to look at venues tomorrow.”

Chairs moved as everyone slowly stood up. Jinli felt her cheeks flush and the room was spinning just a little. It has been a while since she’s drank and the conversation as well as her probably not-so-hidden feelings made her drink a little more than usual. Youngjae reached a hand out. “Hey, you want me to take you home?”

Jinli smiled a little ruefully. “I think so. I can get my keys.”

But then another hand was on her arm and Daehyun spoke. “Don’t worry about it. I can drive her back. You have to head back to Seoul anyway and it’s a bit of a drive. I’ve got her.”

Had Jinli been paying attention, she would have caught the slightly surprised look on Youngjae’s face and the excited gleam in Junhong’s eyes. Instead, she was just focused on how warm Daehyun’s hand felt and how the butterflies in her stomach were mixing with the alcohol and making her slightly dizzy with anticipation.

"Okay,” Youngjae conceded. “Take care, Jinli.”

"It’s great to see you. Get home safely.” Yongguk patted her head and then it was quiet, with just her and Daehyun.

"Hey, are you okay?” Daehyun carefully took her by the arms and tried to steer her towards the living room.

It was definitely the alcohol, but Jinli couldn’t help herself. She turned her palm over so that she could hold onto his hand. “Can we just stay here for a bit?”

"O-of course.” His dark brown eyes were filled with concern and he was looking at her and Jinli felt herself flush. She had always been a more emotional drunk. Whatever she was feeling was enhanced, whether it was positive or negative thoughts. And right now, she was feeling a mix of happiness and tentativeness. All night she found herself wanting Daehyun to herself and now that he was, she was at a loss for words.

"I really missed you,” she said. When she did find the ability to speak, the words that came out were the ones she most wanted to tell him.

At first it seemed like a mistake. The emotions that flitted across his face made her seize up momentarily in fear. There was confusion, then shock, and then, finally, something that made her want to melt. He looked at her with all of the honesty in the world. “I missed you too, Jinli.”

It wasn’t a love confession by any means but she understood it. Their entire relationship had been one of missing each other. It was the wrong timing for them both, and then there were several periods where they misunderstood each other. But the real loss was when they were left alone, without even the presence of each other, no matter how painful that presence was. Compared to the tug and pull Jinli had experienced from Daehyun, not being able to be with him, period, had hurt the most.

She didn’t mean to, but it had been so long, and she had dreamed of him for so long. She got on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, feeling the softness of them yielding beneath her. She let out a breath of relief and one of Daehyun’s hands left her arms to wrap around her waist. When his lips began to move against hers, it was as if a dam had broken between them. 

Jinli took another step towards him and pressed herself against his arm, desperate to feel more of him. Daehyun gently let go of her and took her face in his hands, tilting her head back, and kissing her deeper. Tears fell freely between the two of them and she was sure if he had opened his eyes, she would really look a mess. But when she opened her eyes, she found that he was staring at her. Staring at her with a softness and relief that she couldn’t help but return the look. 

As impulse-driven as the kiss was, the next motions that happened were not. Daehyun reluctantly let her go and took a deep breath. He ran his hand through his hair, and she gazed fondly as some bits of his hair stuck up. “Jinli,” he started.

But Jinli didn’t want to hear anything about taking things slowly or any apologies, or anything of the sort. She had confirmed what she wanted to know. Daehyun still had feelings for her and she was so tired of wasting time.

"How do you feel about me?”

It was a forward question and it took all of her self control to not want to pick up his hands again. 

Again, she could read the hesitation in his eyes. “I-”

"Don’t apologize, don’t try to play the martyr. You spent too long pushing me away before. I just want to know how you feel about me.”

The bracelet hung heavily against her skin and she was hyper aware of every little sound in the house before Daehyun spoke. “I love you.” Her lungs expanded with relief. “I have loved you. Ever since I started preparing to let you go.”

"Well you don’t have to. Not anymore. I’m here.”

Okay, it really has been so long since I've updated, and I have to admit, it really was just a whole mix of things. I started working and it's been taking a bit out of me. I also admittedly, lost a lot of motivation to write. But now, with the increased flurry of B.A.P activities (anyone going to Yongguk's tour?) and just feeling like I've lost a bit of myself by not writing, I'm back and determined to at least finish this story.

This definitely had taken a slightly different turn than I expected. And I'll be the first to say that maybe this chapter just isn't good or doesn't make sense, but surely after all the push pull our two leads have gone through in the past, it's time to just... stop. As much as I wanted it to be slow and wanted it to be healing, I think they would be able to heal as they went. So the story is definitely winding up and I'm going to skip all the extra angst young college me thought would have made the story good. I think we're all ready for some happy endings here. 

I don't know who is still here, reading, but whoever is here, and whoever was here, I appreciate you all.

Also just on a life update for all the friends I have met through this story, and still cherish in my heart (yes, even when I wasn't writing, I'd come back, reread the story to get inspiration, and reread the comments I've gotten through the years), I'm actually getting married this November. So maybe the next few chapters could be drawing from current events/real life :)