Three weeks later, Jinli came back. Daehyun was in his study and it was only when he saw her standing in front of him that he realized she had returned. “Hey,” she gave him a thin smile. Seeing her back in front of him made his heart jump.   

            “Hi,” he whispered. He started to stand but she was already getting ready to leave.

            “I saw that Eunah made dinner. You should go eat. I’m going to unpack and get some work done.”

            “Are you not eating?”

            She shook her head, not bothering with a verbal response. Daehyun swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t know why she came back so suddenly. This time, he had told himself he was going to give her space, and wait until he’s thought of a better plan regarding the company to get her back. After the issue is settled with the company, then he can dedicate his time to making up to her. It stung a little that she chose not to eat with him, but he couldn’t blame her. He doubted she was returning because she forgave him. Something must have happened.

            Upstairs, Jinli stood outside the guest room and contemplated sleeping there. “I can sleep in the guest room, if that makes you more comfortable.” She jumped a little at the sudden voice.

            “Oh no. I can’t kick you out of your room. It’s fine. I don’t think your mother would allow us to get away with sleeping in different rooms anyway. Why give Eunah more work to do?”

            Daehyun pushed open the door regardless. “You don’t need to worry about that. If it’ll make you more comfortable, I will go move my stuff here now.”

            “Please help my father.”

            The moment the words were out of , Daehyun turned around. There was an unreadable expression in his eyes. They were filmy, clouded over by an emotion she did not want to acknowledge. “So you came back for this?”

            Jinli was confused. Why was he like this? Why was he even pretending that they were anything but whatever messed up relationship they were? “To be honest, yes. He wanted me to use my charms, but I think you’ve long been immune so I figured honesty right now is probably the best way. Yes. I came back because my father asked me to.”

            “I’m doing my best. Whoever is doing this is using your father’s company as the scapegoat, so he’s been taking the hardest hits. Tell him not to worry.” And then he left.  

            By the time Jinli allowed herself to walk to their room, Daehyun was coming out with an armful of quilts and pillows. A sourness slid down . He hadn’t been insincere with his offer. Even though it was for the best, there was something awful about watching his back as he bent over the bed, throwing the objects in his arms onto it.

            This was not the Daehyun she knew. This Daehyun seemed so tired and so much more defeated. Jinli clutched the handle of her suitcase and walked into the other room. She locked the door and walked into the bathroom, locking that door as well, so she could cry in peace. Neither of them was brave enough to walk away completely. Even though she had came back under her father’s threats, it was not completely unwillingly.

            By the time she emerged with her face completely void of any traces of tears, Daehyun was back in his study. He was still poring over the sheets of papers and he was furiously making calculations. Jinli took in a deep breath and walked in. His headphones were in so he didn’t hear her. She peered at the paper and saw that he was working on her father’s company.

            She saw the pile of files on the floor, each of them with cases that TS was handling. He had previously been working on those but now had abandoned them. One of his hands was trembling. He must not have eaten yet. Or in a while, as is evident from the wrappers of candy bars that littered the floor.

            “Daehyun.” He didn’t answer. She touched his shoulder and he jerked backwards, nearly elbowing her.

            “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t meet her eyes. Instead, he pushed his chair in and continued to write.

            “Daehyun. You need to eat something. You can’t just work like this.”

            “No, I need to make sure the calculations are right, and get this deal signed.”

            “This isn’t even your company.”

            It pained her a little to see him pause, as if the reminder was enough to have him realize that he was being foolish. Bad habits died hard, and seeing Daehyun like this had allowed all the old sympathies to arise.

            “It’s your father’s. Of course I have to help. He wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me,” he replied bitterly. But he had now placed the pencil down. His lips thinned as if he was trying to pluck up the courage. Daehyun gently reached for both her hands. “Let me make this up to you, and him. He sent you back because he wants my help. I’ve been working on it regardless. If it makes you feel better to go back to Seoul, stay tonight and go back tomorrow.”

            It was tempting. He was placing escape right in front of her. But her senses were overwhelmed by him in front of her, and his soft grip on her hand, his thumbs digging down slightly as if he didn’t quite want to let her go. If only she could delude herself.

            “I have business here anyway. I can stay for a while.”

            “Alright. Then I’ll stay in the guest room. Will you come eat dinner with me at least?”

            Dinner was mostly quiet. Daehyun was clearly working hard to give her space. Every once in a while she would glance up and see him look away. His bowl of food remained largely untouched. She could afford one friendly dinner. “Stop staring. Your stomach won’t be filled that way.”

            It was amazing. His eyes lit up as if her words had been a balm for whatever wounds he seemed to have. The familiar fire was creeping back into his dark orbs. “Then what about you? Takes a starer to know another.”

            “I can feel your gaze bearing holes into the top of my head.”

            Daehyun bravely slid his plate directly across her and nudged his stool to the right so that they were face to face. It was funny how she never noticed how much like a puppy Daehyun could be. It was part of his charm, she supposed. This was how he got the clients. He was able to simultaneously appear to crave your attention and also lather it on you.

            “Maybe I can eat better from this position. This way I can eat and stare without having to worry about a crick in my neck or choking when the food goes down the wrong airway.”

            “It’d serve you right,” Jinli muttered.

            He didn’t reply; probably because he knew the malice wasn’t there. Or, he just didn’t quite know what else to add to the banter that can so quickly turn into something they both would be better off avoiding. Jinli lowered her head and ate quietly.

            “It’s not difficult to make your father’s company go back up in stocks actually. He recently acquired another branch that sells more equipment than just merely entertainment. If he focuses on that and distances himself away from TS, it’ll be another way to earn credit. And the branch is doing well, despite the recent declaration of bankruptcy.”

            There was something nonchalant about the way he said it. The separation and distance between them, even if it was just the companies. It was as if the only reason for their marriage was being dissolved as quickly as it was created.

            “If that’s it, then you don’t need to think too hard on this. All you have to do is maintain a hands off approach.”

            Daehyun smiled wryly. “You don’t get it.” He said those words quietly, almost as if he didn’t want her to hear. Jinli bristled, hating the cryptic words. There was nothing to ‘get’. This was their life, and she was being practical. Before she could speak, he stood and placed his dish in the sink. “I’m going to get some clothing from the room, and then it’s all yours. Get some sleep tonight.”

            She hated thinking that it probably hurt her more than him that he was placing such a barrier between the two of them. As he passed by her, his fingers brushed against her back and she shivered.

            The entire room permeated with his scent. Even though she had only been gone for three weeks, it felt like forever. His shadows haunted the corners of the room as she tried to close her eyes. Even her own pillow and blanket had adopted his cologne. She her phone, watching the screen light up before turning it off. The brief flash of light was a distraction. But it was only ten. Sleep was light years away.

            Her hands curled into a fist. Coming back was a mistake. She hadn’t felt like this when she was gone. It was just now, in this place of memories, that made her go crazy. She distinctly remembered the first time he reached into her closet and pulled out the navy dress, the look they shared in the mirror. She remembered the day off, when they sat side by side, just quietly doing work. She remembered his soft kisses and gentle touches the first time. But she also remembered the angry energy before they fell asleep. The times locked in the bathroom as she cried.

            “Argh.” Jinli sat up and ruffled her hair angrily. She swung her legs over the bed. Maybe a glass of water would help.

            She pulled open the door and found that a small part of her wasn’t surprised to see the figure standing there. Daehyun’s hand was still on the knob. His hair was tousled. “I can’t sleep,” he mumbled hoarsely.

            Now, with him in front of her, all the restlessness fell away. “Neither could I,” she whispered. In the dim light, she saw his eyes and then his lips were on hers. This isn’t love, she thought to herself. This was an unhealthy obsession. But she closed her eyes and allowed her fingers to knot in his hair. His lips moved urgently, his hands roamed and her entire body lit up with a flame that she knew was going to consume her one day and leave her entirely in its ashes.

            His tears are what make her melt first. His palm cradled her head despite having a pillow beneath her. His lips pressed against her skin and she could feel every muscle of his body against hers. But it was the wetness of his tears that jolts her and tugs at her heartstrings.

            They slide between their lips, the salty liquid dripping into her open mouth. She could taste his apologies, his pain as she simultaneously tasted the sweetness of his tongue. There was a desperation to the way he tangled his legs among hers, to the joining of their bodies. They fit and yet between them was a pocket of hurt, of a space that has been rubbed raw that any touch only magnified it.

            When the pleasure subsided, Jinli was only left with the tide of grief that followed. “Jinli,” Daehyun whispered. In the dark, it was okay for him to wrap his arms around her waist, to draw her in and shield whatever thoughts with his warmth and existence. In the dark, she can allow her quiet sobs to echo into his chest, can allow herself to find comfort in the small circles he rubbed on her .

            With each inhale, she took in a little more of him. And she knew that sooner or later, she would have reached her quota, maxed out on her share of Daehyun, and then she would be left with only a longing, but nothing more.

            He dropped soft kisses on the top of her head, and started humming. And it was only in the dark that she could close her eyes, and allow her senses to be surrounded only with him. He was an angel of darkness. This was his domain. And she had surrendered.

Hi everyone! I know I've been on a bit of a hiatus.

I took the LSAT and I think I did well but one section made my goal of a 170+ diminish so I will be retaking the test in December.

I'm also at a bit of a standstill as to how to go on with this story. I know how I want it to end, and I know the path. But I think there has been some changes. This chapter, for example, was unplanned. And I know it's probably going to be controversial. However, I think I had more fun writing out the pain and I hope you guys can feel it too and just be like me, and enjoy this. I think people will be satisfied with some of the decisions she will make later, and for how the story will turn, but for now, please just bear (and try to enjoy) with me, the sweet bitterness of what heartbreak can bring.