Jinli could never figure Daehyun out. And when her pencil tip broke while drawing another window pane, she threw it across the room. It hit the door just as it opened and Taewoon stood outside, grinning.

            “Whoa, someone’s been to target practice.”

            “Hey,” the smile on her face was genuine.

            “Wow. You lit up like a lamp. Can I be bold enough to assume that I was the reason for such a change in your expression?”        

            Jinli tipped her head back in a fashion she would almost say was flirty. To hell with Daehyun and his moods. “Do you want to be?”

            For a second, he looked taken aback, and then he returned the quirky grin. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to be my companion to get lunch, but if I could also be the reason for your smile, I think that would be a huge honor.” Taewoon jerked his head at the broken pencil. “Want to talk about it as we eat?”

            She grimaced. “No thank you. Let’s just enjoy ourselves.”

            Lunch was pleasant enough but she could feel his hesitance, could hear the unspoken questions between them. And even though Daehyun’s words from yesterday were still spinning in her head, she forced herself to smile. It was bad enough that he would affect her like this; she wasn’t about to air all her dirty laundry to the world.

            Of course. He wasn’t so hard to read himself. The moment he came back, it was as if he had the entire light shut off in him. It was definitely Hyosung. Something had happened with her to make him that upset, that desperately attached to his phone to see if she had responded. That woman had him wrapped around her finger.

            She thought about it before shrugging. She didn’t need someone like that in her life. She deserved better. But when she looked over at Taewoon, she realized that even though the man in front of her was better, he was no Daehyun. The dawning epiphany that stupidly, she had feelings for her husband, made her sad and she looked down at her plate.

            “Okay, out with it. What’s going on?”

            Jinli wanted to tell him, but it was almost cruel, knowing his feelings for her. “I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long day and I didn’t quite get to sleep when coming back home last night either.”

            “Ah.” There was a pause and then he grinned ruefully. “How did the honeymoon part two go?”

            She forced herself to put on a smile. “Ha ha, that wasn’t exactly a honeymoon. Junhong was with us. It was more of a stress reliever for Daehyun than anything else.”

            “Did you have fun?”

            “I did,” she said truthfully. “I did.”

            And because she did, she decided to make a promise to herself. She was going to try one more time for Daehyun.

***

            Daehyun leaned his head back against the pillow, panting. His hands d to the left of him as he searched for hers. Their fingers interlaced and he turned to look at her. Hyosung’s lips were swollen and curved into a blissful smile. He took in the soft flutter of her lashes and leaned forward to kiss her rosy cheeks.

            “How was it?” he asked.

            She opened her eyes and pretended to think. “Well considering how you pounced at me the moment we got out of the car, and half our clothes are downstairs, I think I would say, one of the best yet.”

            He grinned and pulled her into him. He rested his chin on her head and breathed in the smell that was Hyosung and sighed deeply. “I’m so sorry about yesterday.”

            “Shh,” she placed a finger by his lips. “Your mother will never understand us.”

            Daehyun held her tighter. “No,” he finally said. “She won’t.”

            It was afterwards, when Hyosung was in the showers, that he allowed himself to think. The weight of his phone in his hands reminded him of a separate duty he had. He thought about not telling Jinli anything but he knew that given the conversation she definitely overheard yesterday, she would think the worst. But lying to her would be just as bad. It would be obvious he was lying.

            I’ll be home soon. He hit send before he could hesitate again. By the time Hyosung walked out, towel wrapped around her and eyes sparkling seductively, Daehyun was already dressed.

            “Baby, I need to go,” he started out gently. There was no point in lying to her. She knows what the consequences of their relationship were. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Promise.”

            “You can’t stay?” Her voice was soft, beguiling. But he had to.

            “Noona, I love you.”

            Walking out the door was perhaps one of the hardest things for him to do. He saw her silhouette by the window and forced himself to keep driving.

            “Hey, I’m home,” he called out. He could hear noise in the kitchen and when he walked in, he saw Jinli setting up the table.

            There was something different about her and he looked again. “You look nice,” he complimented. “Meeting at work?”

            She gave an awkward shrug. “Just felt like switching up my style a little. Did you eat?” She was speaking in a rush and he saw her hand reach up unconsciously to touch her hair. “Here. I thought you might be hungry so I made some soup and the beef will be almost ready.”

            “You don’t need to go through all this trouble, you know. Eunah can do it.”

            Jinli jerked her head a little, a sign of nervousness that he could now tell. “Don’t worry. There are days when my hands just feel like doing something. After all, if I don’t cook, who knows what would happen to my skills.”

            Daehyun watched her pull out a chair and sit down next to him before noticing that there was only one set of utensils out. “Are you not eating?” He raised his eyebrows.

            “Oh, I already ate a little but I thought you would be hungry.”

            He started eating just so he wouldn’t have to disappoint her but each swallow was made difficult by the guilt he felt. The trip had given her false hopes, and it was probably time for him to make her realize the reality of their relationship again.

            It took all of five seconds for him to make up his mind. Daehyun pushed the plate away with a loud clatter and cleared his throat. “Actually, don’t bother. I already ate with Hyosung. I think I’ll go get some work done.”

            He cast an angry glance at her but had to look away sharply. Her jaws were clenched and she was shaking, and Daehyun has never felt so bad before.

I want to say thank you for being here for me and thank you for being patient.

Here are two stories I wrote, and each one tells a portion of what I've been going through the last six months, and the main reason for why I've been so out of touch.

Almost

Part II