Jongup came into his office without knocking. There was a stiff look on the younger’s face and Daehyun had a feeling of foreboding. Jongup placed a manila envelope on his table before turning away without saying a word. Usually Jongup wasn’t the type to be this cold. Immediately, Daehyun knew what this was about. If it were investigations for the company, his dongsaeng would definitely say something. But this must be about the articles.

            He opened the envelope and saw stills from a CCTV camera. The woman in the grainy black and white photo was still recognizable. When he saw the location the cameras were taken from, Daehyun felt his heart sink. It was natural that it would be Hyosung behind the rumors. But it never occurred to him that she would have found the lawyer Jinli went to and somehow procured copies of the divorce papers. Wasn’t there such a thing as client confidentiality in the legal field? He made a note to have his lawyer follow up with a suit.    

            Jongup had managed to use his girlfriend’s connections in the media to find out the names of the reporters, as well as the original source that the rumor came from. All of which could be traced back to Hyosung.

            Daehyun thought about Jinli crying last night and felt a rock settle in the pit of his stomach. She didn’t deserve this. And he knew it was his fault that she was even going through this mess in the first place. He knew Jongup blamed him as much as he blamed himself, and that explained the silent treatment.

            He sent Hyosung a text and she responded immediately. These days, they rarely saw each other, and he found that he thought about her less. In fact, thinking about having to see her later, and having the evidence in front of him, made Daehyun a little sick.

            He opened up his drawer and stared at the ring that he had given her so many years ago. He had given it back to her in the beginning of their affair but she had told him to keep it during the brief time his mother had threatened them. It was a constant back and forth, and he thought back to when he had first chosen this ring for her.

            She had just found out she was pregnant, and the news had made him feel as if he was floating on the clouds. He had always known he was going to propose to her and this was the perfect opportunity. Daehyun had spent hours pouring over symbolism in jewels, trying to find the best cut that would fit her personality. He went to at least seventy jewelers throughout the country before finally settling on this one.

            The ring was symbolic of his love for her, of the dedication and commitment he was willing to give to her, and had given her. When she accepted, it then became their promise to one another. The day she left, the first thing he noticed was that the ring was back in its case. All of their hopes were stored in the delicate object, and she had given it right back to him without a word of explanation. And now its journey back and forth only showed how hard it was for them to love one another. If it weren’t outside obstacles, it’s feelings. And those feelings were worn out cloth, dull in color and frail in durability.

            If Daehyun was honest with himself, the two years where he had to rebuild himself had created a bitter taste in his mouth. It had scratched and pitted the surface of his heart as he fought to understand how and why. He never got an explanation for either of the questions. Instead, he sought to forget. The memories were not dealt with properly. He cried, he drank and he smoked, but he never really confronted them. All he knew was that there would be a part of him who would always think what if.

            When he married Jinli, he hadn’t even thought about Hyosung. He just knew that it would have to take a miracle, and a literal deity, for him to be able to trust again. It was easier to freeze her out, to not get too close because he had known the shock effect of the fire; the burn was still deeply scorched in his memories, each fiber of his heart still charred.

            When Hyosung returned, it was as a drug addict who never quite recovered that he approached her. It was habit, temptation, and so easy because she wanted him too. He turned the ring over in his hands. True to its reputation, the diamond had yet to lose its luster. But he realized that he has. This wasn’t love, whatever he felt for Hyosung. Not anymore. It was reliance and a craving.

            He didn’t know how to describe what he felt for Jinli. It was something. It was no longer the cold indifference, the bitter resentment. After all, the heart was still made of flesh, and it bled. Each time he hurt her, her pain rubbed at his wounds, rubbing at the rot and exposing the wounds that still had not healed.

           There definitely was a physical attraction; the magnetic pull that he rerouted towards someone who was, ironically, safer. There was care buried somewhere, and a lot of regret. It had been his selfishness and his confusion that dragged them both down this road. It would be noble to walk up to Jinli with divorce papers all signed. It would be the right thing to do to go to Hyosung and tell her no more. But he could not do either of the things.

            His fingers tightened against the band of the ring. He was a selfish person. That was the conclusion. He wanted too much. But at the same time, he also was starting to know what he no longer wanted. The heart never knows what it wants because every time the mind tells it something, the heart will pull out memories, and hidden fears, and the cycle will start all over.

            Hyosung was waiting for him in her usual attire, lace and everything sensual. But the moment she saw Daehyun’s face, she stood up from the bed and approached him with a hardened expression. “You came here to talk about something, didn’t you?” He looked at her. When did their relationship only revolve around and physical closeness? Where did their four hour conversations into the A.M.s go?

            “I did, actually. Can you explain to me why you feel the need to target Jinli?”

            Immediately, Hyosung reached for a robe and pulled the cloth around her. It was as if she was wearing armor for battle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            They used to be so honest to each other. “Please. Don’t make this worse.”

            “Daehyun, every time I talk to you, it’s always you accusing me of one thing or another. How badly must you think of me if you think I am trying to bring down your company, and now apparently attempting to harm your wife?”

            He threw the envelope near her. “Why don’t you take a look at it yourself and then maybe that will help you with your story?”

            Hyosung picked up the package and flipped through each of the photos without her expression changing. “I can feel myself losing you.”

            “What?”

            “You heard me.” She tossed the pictures aside and stood up, her eyes blazing. “You may come and see me, you may tell me you love me but I don’t feel it. You’ve changed. And I don’t know any other reason except that you may be falling for her. What do you expect me to do?”

            “Maybe talk to me about it, rather than try to harm her. Do you think this would work? How would you hurting her make me like you more? Men are fairly simple. We like to protect. Haven’t you considered that the more vulnerable you make Jinli, the more I will want to be the one who can protect her?”

            All of the fierceness evaporated and she started to cry. “I’m sorry. I was jealous, and I don’t know what else to do. Please, promise me. You will never leave me. Daehyun, baby, please.” She was on her knees and hugging his legs. “Please.”

            It was the same tactic over and over again. Daehyun looked at the woman crying pitifully before him and felt nothing. He didn’t feel anger, hatred, compassion. He felt nothing. It was an impassive emptiness. He managed to get her to release her grip on him and stepped out the door. “Please have some dignity.” So this was what falling out of love was like. It wasn’t painful or deliberate. It was something that just happened and it suddenly turned two people into complete strangers with nothing in common except a shared few times.

            “I can help you save the company.”

            Those words stopped his retreat. “Excuse me?”

            Hyosung bit her lip and repeated, “I can help you save the company. I know who might be behind everything, and I think I know what the next steps will be. If you can promise that you won’t leave me, I can help you.”

            Daehyun stared at her. “Are you telling the truth?”

            She shrugged. “I have nothing left to lose, except you. And I cannot lose you. Even if it means that I will have to be punished for it, I am willing to help you.”

            Even though Daehyun did not know when Hyosung was lying, he knew when she was telling the truth. Her eyes were clear and she looked the way she did when he first met her. They were both so young and so hopeful, and he could taste the hope she had placed on this request, the stale aroma of desperation slithering down his throat. “Deal.”

***

            Jinli finished her granola bar and threw the wrapper away, tallying the calorie counts in her head. She ran her hands over her stomach and felt the ridges of ribs that had become more prominent as the months passed. A part of her felt disgust. Why was she still on this stupid diet? It wasn’t as if Daehyun would ever look at her twice, and mean it. There was food in the refrigerator that Eunah had made. She should eat.

            As the inner battle raged on in her brain, Daehyun walked in with a low scowl on his face and Jinli sighed. She knew better than to ask him how he was doing. The last thing she needed was for him to lash out at her. She still could not wave away the feeling of foreboding she had felt from his stupid trust me speech and the rumors that he had not helped to curb were still sore spots with her. Instead, she turned to face the other way. If they didn’t interact, then he would have no cause to be cruel.

            However, despite her better intentions, she could not help but glance back at Daehyun. He was rolling his neck and pulling at the knot of his tie. Damn this good looking bastard. It was embarrassing how physically attracted she was to him when he clearly felt nothing. Jinli shuddered, thinking of how she had tried to initiate the first few times during their honeymoon. She had been a fool.

            Unwittingly, she let out a tiny sigh and Daehyun shot her a look over his shoulder. The expression in his eyes was cold and she knew that the tiny, barely audible noise she had just expelled annoyed him. “What?” It was a curt single syllable, uttered not out of concern but irritation.

            She wanted to sass him but didn’t want to deal with his snarky remarks so she shook her head. “Tired.” As always, it was better to give an excuse than to frustrate him by not responding.

            He let out a tiny grunt and opened the doors to the refrigerator. This was her cue to leave. There was no point in staying any longer. Any interaction between the two of them would be tense and unnecessary. It would just be an uncomfortable silence at best. As she was walking out, she heard Daehyun speak.

            “Did you go out to eat?”

            His questions startled her. Yes, he had been making attempts to be nicer, to get closer, but each of those attempts had been offset by events of late, so she had thought niceties were off. “No.”

            “Then what the hell did you eat all day?” His voice was still soft so she could not decipher his emotions. She turned to look at him. Daehyun had straightened and was looking at her earnestly. “Well?”

            “Uh, things here and there. I had lunch at work,” she responded airily. She fidgeted, wanting to leave. He had never been specific in his questioning, so why the Spanish Inquisition now?

            Jinli heard him heave a heavy sigh and close the refrigerator door. There was a crease between his brows and she backed away slowly, wondering if he was angry. But what for? Daehyun walked up to her and backed her against the nearest wall. She gave him an odd look. What was going on? Each time they had had close physical contact, it was always when he was in a much better mood than this.

            “Are you starving yourself?” His question was fired at her sharply and she blinked. How had he known? “I made sure the housekeeper left food for you and from what I see of it, it remains untouched.”

            His attention to detail was scary sometimes. Why couldn’t he just pretend to be oblivious? It had worked so well in their relationship before. “I  thought she left it for you.” The excuse was weak. Eunah had especially written “For Mrs. Jung” on top of the containers.

            Daehyun sneered. “Right, but I’m the one with the pants in this relationship, Missus.”

            The malevolence between them was so reminiscent of the beginning of their marriage, with the snarky comments and the anger. “What relationship?” she muttered before she could stop herself. She didn’t dare look into his eyes after she said it, knowing full well that he heard. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his arm clench and she cowered a little. He had never hit her before. There was another beat of silence and then he sighed. “Not eating isn’t good for you, you know.”

            This complete one eighty made her head spin. “I just wasn’t hungry.”

            He snorted at this. “Right. You’re not hungry today, yesterday, and virtually every day for the past however many months. You’re obviously trying unnecessarily to lose weight. I thought the doctor already said you weren’t getting the proper nutrients? Who are you trying to impress?”

            Tears smarted in her eyes and half out of anger at herself, she let go of her dignity again. “Certainly not you.”

            Daehyun looked at her but she kept her eyes on the ground. Her cheeks flamed from the humiliation and he used a finger to lift her chin up. “I’ve hurt you, haven’t I?” He was stating the obvious, but there was now such a change to him that Jinli didn’t have the heart to retort. His eyes, so cold before, were now a liquid soft and the crease between his brows had smoothed, angling down to give him a contrite puppy look.

            Daehyun sighed again. “You know you don’t have to do unnecessary things for me to find you desirable. I think you already know the problem really isn’t you; it’s me.” He gave a little humorless laugh and pulled her to the kitchen table. He pulled out a chair and sat her down. “I’m sorry. I know things the past nine months have been painful. I know that regardless of whatever it is that we do, it always seems to go right back to square one. And a lot of it has to do with my selfishness. But I meant it when I said I wanted to be friends, that I wanted to get to know you better.”

            Jinli stared at him. This was a different Daehyun. Yes, the beginning of his speech had seemed like a broken record. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s been tough. But he had never truly blamed himself before, or ever really was this honest before.

            Daehyun took another deep breath. “And truth is, I think I like you. No, I do like you. But I don’t know what this means, nor do I know what will come about it. I have a lot of issues I need to sort out, a lot more things I need to take care of. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I do know that I have never been this honest with you before.”

            Hearing those words made Jinli tear up. The saying went that the truth hurt. But she never knew that it would hurt this much. This was a confession but also not a promise. Daehyun leaned forward and wiped the tears off her cheek. “Not exactly sure how well tears bode for my confession,” he chuckled weakly. “Hold on.” He stood up and took out the containers of food and placed them in the microwave to heat. She stared at her lap, trying to absorb what had just happened.

            He sat back next to her and began to feed her. “Eat, come on.” She did it out of rote action and he beamed happily at her. Her heart pounded and she forced herself to look away. Daehyun was dangerous.

            He clucked his tongue. “Trust me, please,” he said again. His voice was soft and he managed to look tender as he stared into her eyes. She nodded, a little uncertain if she did, and he rewarded her with a slow smile. After the food was gone, he placed the container in the sink and stared at her.

            Daehyun took a deep breath and picked up her hands. “Thank you,” he said again. Jinli felt torn. This entire scene echoed the other night but this time her feelings were different. This time, she didn’t feel cautious or scared, she was just confused. Confused and also felt butterflies.

            “Jinli,” he whispered and those two syllables managed to change everything.

First, I want to thank each and every single one of you who comment, and who continue to support this story because you guys and your feedback help me to push this story along. Believe it or not, I do make slight adjustments according to what you want. So yes, the arch of the story has been altered slightly, although some of you are pretty clarivoyant and can guess when things might be coming up ha

The last scene in this chapter is actually the seed that started the whole story. As I was rewriting it to fit this longer version, I just felt like I've come so far. And I am so excited for what is going to happen next. Although the way I wrote this chapter means I have a few more adjustments to make LOL 

I think you guys will be excited to know that the next chapter has already been written (also like two years ago) and with a little bit of editing, I will be publishing it. Or should I wait a little since I don't know when I would update the chapter after that? :P It's up to you guys haha But do know that I am very much excited and I love writing this and I love you guys ♥

Also I am very very much in love with this photo and also the entire Makestar photoshoot because wow, Daehyun wow