I think I’m ugly.

 

I slowly got ready for another dreadful day of school. Why was it dreadful? Because people constantly teased me and made fun of me all day. Why?; because I was a bit over weight. So what? 170 pounds isn’t much right? Right? According to the students I was as fat as a whale. It hurt the little self-confidence I had in myself. I don’t think I have anymore. I got to school and everyone was snickering at me. “Ugh why does she even try?” “She shouldn’t come to school, seeing the sun directly is better than seeing her fat ” I sighed and kept walking to my class. I sat down and admired the person that had just walked in.

 

He was as handsome as a god, not a single blemish on his face. My heart belonged to him and only him. I must say, He’s a dickhead though. He teases me just like the other students but I still love him. You’re probable wondering who he is right. Well he is Kim Himchan and he has my heart. Oh god I sound so stupid but that’s how love makes you right? It isn’t different for any other person. It affects us all the same.

 

Ah soon it was lunch break and I was sitting outside playing on my phone while eating some cookies. Fattening, I know, but whatever. I saw a shadow in front of me and I looked up. My eyes widened as Kim Himchan sat down next to me.

 

Himchan’s POV

 

It was the beginning of lunch and I sat down with B.A.P. I was halfway through my lunch when Youngjae spoke up. “Hey Channie, I dare you to go out with that fat Woo Hyemi chick.” I nearly spat out my lunch. Just the thought of going out with that ugly fat snorelax nearly made me throw up. “What?!” Youngjae chuckled and wave a hundred dollars in my face. “Date her for three months and this is yours, plus another hundred.” I looked at the money and smirked. It was quite an offer I couldn’t resist so I gave in. “Sure.” The rest of the guys laughed except for Yongguk hyung. “Yah don’t be so mean. She has a heart too, Himchan.” I just shrugged him off. “Money is money, hyung” I said and got up. I knew where she sat for lunch so I went over there and prepared myself. She was lying down on the grass eating a cookie. Ugh what a fat .

 

She noticed me and looked up. “Hey Hyemi-ah, I wanted to ask you a question.” She looked up a bit surprised. “Uh, shoot” She said and I sat down next to her. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

 

Hyemi’s POV

 

is he being serious? He’s asking me out? I didn’t stop to think before I said yes. He gently smiled and stood up. “Alright, I’ll pick you up after school for a date.” I smiled and nodded.

 

 

 

Himchan’s POV

 

Three months came an before I knew it I had to break up with her. It was going to be hard, I knew that. Why? Because, during these three months she really grew on me. Her cute laugh and her innocent face, I grew accustomed to them. Her personality was great as well. She was shy, cute, and blunt. If she had something true to say, even if it was ride, she’d let it out but not on purpose. She also had this cute twinkle in her eyes whenever she saw me.

 

I pushed all those feelings aside because I couldn’t keep doing this. Yongguk hyung kept warning me about her emotions during the first few weeks but I ignored him. It was the beginning of school and it was also the last day of school. Tomorrow would be the first day of summer and I wont be able to see her until next year. She had also grown onto my sister, Minah. They were best friends now although Minah was 22 and Hyemi was 16. I walked into school and immediately saw Hyemi listening to music.

 

People were snickering and bickering at her and I glared at them, making them turn around. I walked up to Hyemi and tapped her shoulder. “Oh!” She jumped up and turned around. “Oh its only you Channie~ Don’t scare me like that!” I gave her my coldest face and pulled her over to a less crowded place. “Oh it hurts! Whats wrong with you?!” She looked at me up and down and I sighed. “Never mind, its nothing.” I didn’t have the heart to do it. I’d do it later.

 

Hyemi’s POV

 

I had no idea what he was doing this morning but I ignored that. I went to where he usually sat to take him some of his favorite homemade dumplings. I was about to turn until I heard Youngjae’s voice. “Alright man, its been three months. Heres your two hundred. I honestly didn’t think you would last with that fat girl. I thought you’d get sick of her and dump her earlier but I guess not.” Everyone chuckled and I felt tears brim my eyes. I held onto the lunch box tightly and turned the corner.

 

“Oh Hyemi. H-how long were you there?” Youngjae asked nervously. I laughed bitterly spoke. “Enough to hear about your little deal. You know, I thought you were sweet, kind, and an overall great caring person but I guess not. Here you little , I made you food.” I threw the lunch box at Himchan and left before he could say anything. I ran home without telling a teacher or anything and began crying on my bed.

 

Pathetic, I know. But I can’t just keep these emotions inside forever. When I stopped I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked even uglier but I knew I could be pretty. I decided to change my life right then. I dialed up Minah unnie’s number and waited for her to answer. She finally picked up, she sounded cheerful. “Hey Hyemi~” I smiled bitterly and got straight to the point. “Unnie, I want to change my life. I want to lose weight, will you help me?” She seemed surprised at my tone but assured me that she was coming over to my house soon. I said a bye and a thank you before hanging up and getting dressed in track pants and a very loose shirt.

 

Ten minutes passed and Minah showed up. Did I ever mention that she was beyond pretty? She was probably a size 2 in pants and she was a natural beauty as well. “Hey whats up? Why do you want to lose weight?” I laughed. “Is that a rhetorical question?” She shook her head and I rolled my eyes. “Come here, sit down on the couch and I’ll tell you.” She followed my orders and I sighed, sitting next to her. “Well Himchan broke up with me today. It was all just a dare by his friends. It was never real, he never actually liked me. He was paid by Youngjae to go out with me.” I said quickly. She gasped and I could see fire in her eyes. “I’m gonna bust his up.” Was all she said and I laughed.

 

“So I want to make him regret it. I want to be as skinny as you and I want to put make up on now.” She pouted but then nodded. “I will help you, dongsaeng! Let’s go to the gym now!”

 

And that’s when it started. I didn’t eat anymore sweets, I only ate 1600 calories a day, and I worked out every day. I even started using homemade acne removal masks sine I had a little acne. And in celebration of my weight loss Minah unnie bought me a whole new wardrobe and some make up. I couldn’t thank her enough for all that she did. It was finally the last day of summer before school started again. Meaning I had to see Himchan tomorrow. I calmly ate my peas and my brother sat next to me.

 

“You know, Hyemi. I’m really proud of you. Before you walk out that door tomorrow, I want you to swear that if anything happens, If anyone dares to touch you without your consent, promise me that you’ll tell me right away so I can kick their asses, okay?” I laughed at his little speech. “Yeah okay okay Yukwon oppa.” He ruffled my hair and left back to his room. I finished eating and put my plate in the sink. I walked up the stairs and crawled under my blankets. Tomorrows gonna be a hell of a day.

 

“YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE, YOU’RE GONNA BREAK DOWN~!” My alarm woke me up and I fell out of my bed. It was five am and I was still tired as hell. I let out a low growl and stood up, throwing my phone on my bed in the process. I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed my straightening iron and plugged it in, waiting for it to heat up. While I was waiting I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I slowly walked back to the desk my iron was on and I looked at myself in the mirror.

 

“I look hot~” I sang as I sat down on the chair and began to straighten sections. After I was done doing my hair I changed into some shorts and a tank top with a cardigan. It wasn’t that fancy but it sure as hell complimented my figure. I grabbed my bag and walked out. “Sweetie someone is here for you!” My mother shouted from down stairs. I hurried up and walked out. “MINAH UNNIE!” I ran down the stairs to her and jumped on her. “Why are you here?” She smacked my head and I groaned.

 

“Instead of asking why I’m here you should wonder why I wasn’t here earlier” I grew confused but I just shrugged it off. “So, why are you here?” I asked again and she laughed. “Ah you’re never gonna change, are you Hyemi?” I shook my head and she chuckled again. “Im gonna drop you off at school, since its on my way to university!” My eyes widened and I shook my head. “Is he there?!” She nodded and smirked. “Yeah but he doesn’t know where you live, right? And he hasn’t seen you since last year, he won’t remember you!”

 

I thought about it for a bit and shrugged. “Sure ok unnie” I said and slipped on my shoes. I said bye to my mother and brother and walked out the door with Minah unnie. She motioned for me to get into the back since Himchan was in the front I guess. I opened the door and sat down. Honestly, I wasn’t scared to face him. He might not even remember me so why get agitated about it right? I don’t think he remembers me since he hasn’t said a thing.

 

“So, Hyemi-ah, have you been studying? Its your senior year and you should leave with high scores, ya know.” At the mention of my name Himchan perked up but still kept quiet. “Ah, seriously unnie? I haven’t even started this year yet and you’re already talking to me about my grades. Cut me some slack, yeah?” She laughed and just kept driving. I played with my phone and suddenly it rang, scaring me. “Ah!” I yelped as it fumbled out of my hands and onto the floor of the car but I don’t know where it landed.

 

“Clumsy as always, here I’ll get it for you.” Himchan muttered the first part but I managed to hear him. I blushed a bit as he retrieved my phone from under Minah’s seat and gave it to me. I thanked him and checked the message I got.

 

From: U-Kwonnie oppa

Have a fun day at school today and tell Minah I’ll pick her up later for our first date. She said yes c:

 

I looked up and gasped loudly. Minah kept driving but she panicked. “OH MY GOD WHAT DID I RUN OVER A SQUIRREL?” She freaked out and I shook my head. “WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU’RE GOING ON A DATE WITH MY OPPA?!” She looked at me wide-eyed through the rear view mirror. “You managed to get a date? That’s a first.” Himchan muttered and Minah smacked the back of his head, I held in a giggle. “Im hot, I have boys lining up for me, biittcchhhh”

 

The car finally stopped and I thanked my unnie for the ride and got out. Himchan came out after me. “H-hey Hyemi-ah” I turned around and glared at him. “Yeah?” He rubbed the nape of his neck and sighed. “Nothing” I nodded and just continued walking towards the office where we’d get our new schedules. I stood in line and some boy with blond hair stood in front of me. I also saw a bit of blue in the front. What a nice hairstyle, it suits whoever that person is. He soon got to the front of the line and I heard him speak. “Choi Junhong, year two age seventeen.” When he said that I was drinking some water and I immediately began choking on it.

 

He quickly turned around and patted my back, panicking. “Sunbae, are you okay?!” I stopped coughing and looked up at him. He was about a foot taller than I was. Damn this boy sure did grow. “U-uh yeah, Th-thanks dude.” He just nodded and turned back around. When he was done getting his schedule he moved only slightly away, he was immersed in checking on his classes. “Name?” The office lady asked emotionlessly. “Kim Hyemi, year three” I said and she pulled out my card. “Here ya go, sweetie” I smiled and checked my classes.

 

“N-noona?” Junhong eyed me curiously. “Took ya long enough to figure out. How are you Jello?” He just smiled widely and hugged me, lifting me off of my feet. “I MISSED YOU! You look great noona!” I giggled as he set me down. Did I ever mention that I was close to one person? Yeah well that was Zelo, one of Himchan’s friends. “So, I’ll see you around Hyemi noona! I gotta go to my hyungs!” I smacked myself in the face when he screamed out my name. People around me were staring at me like I was some exotic animal. “ARE YOU GONNA KEEP STARING?” I shouted and everyone suddenly turned away. Good.

 

I walked down the hall to my usual locker.  The one I’ve had since freshman year. The one that was right next to Yongguk’s. I sighed as I put on the new lock and leaned against the locker.

 

1: English- Hyun, Tricia

2: Science- Kim, Yeohee

3: Physical education, fall- Kang, Minwoo

4: Geometry honors- Nguyen, David

5: Music- Choi, Minhee

6: World History- Hyun, Tricia

7: Aide, Science- Kim, Yeohee

 

I smirked. I got all the classes I wanted woo hoo! Suddenly my class sheet was snatched out of my hands. “What the hell?” I looked up and saw no other than Bang Yongguk. “We have periods 1, 3, 4, 5, and 7 together~” I rolled my eyes. “You have science 7th period?” He nodded and ruffled my hair. “I wanna have a talk with you, okay? Later though. First period is beginning, Lets goooo~” He laced his hand with mine and dragged me to English.

 

“ALRIGHT! Everyone, your seats are organized by surnames!” Mrs. Hyun explained. I sat next to Kim Jongin and Kim Myungsoo. The teacher announced we’d all be introducing ourselves and our hobbies. Jongin stood up and most of the girls swooned. Psh, pathetic. I laughed to myself and he began speaking. “Hi my name is Kim Jongin but you guys can call m Kai, I like to dance.” Was all he said and he took a seat. Now it was my turn. “Kim Hyemi, Rapping” I sat back down and everyone gasped. “That’s the fat girl from last year!” “Damn she’s hella fine now” “Hey do you wanna go out sometime?” Some dude nudged me from behind and I laughed. “Get away, ya dirty mcnasty” I scrunched my nose up and everyone laughed.

 

“The names L, I play guitar” and he sat down. The guys I sit next to aren’t very talkative, and that’s what I wanted. I wanted to keep on being the same old Hyemi, I still didn’t want to talk to people. Second period finally came and it was science time! Yes I loved science! It fascinated me how many things we’ve found and how many more things there are to find out. I skipped into the class room and smiled at what was written on the board. “PICK ANY SEAT!” I sat in the far back.

 

The seats were divided into one table, fitting two people. I rested my head on my palms as I waited for the bell to ring. “Hey sweetie pie” I looked up and rolled my eyes. “ off, Yoo Youngjae.” He smirked and just walked off. “Yo Mimi” I looked up and this time the person I saw didn’t make me mad, nope, he made me ecstatic.” I jumped up and swung my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “ZICO OPPA!” People looked at me weirdly but I didn’t care. My brother’s friends transferred to my school and Jiho was in my class~ I didn’t know why they transferred but I didn’t care, just as long as they were here. “Ugh you should have told me how the girls are here; they’ve been staring at me like I was an extinct animal.” He pretended to throw up and I laughed.

 

“Yeah Jiho oppa. Theyre really weird too” Most of the girls that were around us just glared at me. “Hi oppa~ are you new here?” One of the school s, Hara, said and sat on his end of the table. “Yes and go away, I have my baby Hyemi with me” I laughed as she left and stomped away. “Hey Hyemi” I looked up and glared at the guy. “What, Himchan?” He just smiled lightly. “I-is that him?” Jiho asked. I nodded and glared at Himchan even more. Jiho suddenly stood up and grabbed Himchan by his collar. “You’re gonna regret doing that to my Hyemi!” I grabbed his shoulder before he could do anything that he’d regret.

 

“No, just leave him oppa.” Zico nodded and released his grip. “I regretted it the moment I did it.” Himchan mumbled and I turned to look at him. He just ignored me and sat down. Weirdo. The teacher stepped in, making us all sit down. “Ah I’m sorry I’m late!” A girl scurried in and the teacher just shrugged. She pointed to an unoccupied spot next to Himchan and the girl quickly scurried into the seat without a word.

 

Most of my classes just passed by either talking to Yongguk or a Block B member. “Hyemi! Come sit with us!” I looked at Yongguk weirdly. “Don’t worry, ,you don’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to." I nodded and sat. I quietly began to eat my food. The atmosphere was really awkward. I didnt know what to say. 'Should i even say anything? no' I thought to myself. "HYEEMMMIIII BABY!" I heard the sound of a familiar voice. Oh . I snapped my head up and saw- "NAM JOONNNIIIEEEEEE" I nearly fell getting away from the table to run to him. "YAH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEIN I MISSED YOU OH MY GOSH OH MY GOOOOOSSSHHHHH!" I was glad we were outside so i could yell as loud as I wanted. I tackled him in a bear hug and i heard B.A.P gasp.

 

"Hey wheres-" I looked up and saw them standing behind RapMon. "BTS! OH MY GOSH I MISSED YOU GUYS! JUNGGUUUUUKKKK!" I huged all of them. Well at least i tried. "We missed you too, sport" Jin ruffled my hair. I couldnt help but smile. The whole gang was back together. Except for my unnies. "Hey what highschool do unnies go to?" They shrugged. "2ne1 go to chungdam and i think Secret go to Chuseok" Taehyung said. I nodded. We needed to hang out again as one.

 

"Who are these fools?" Jimin motioned to B.A.P. I stopped to think. Who were they to me? "uh. theyre.." Well they sure as hell werent friends. "Theyre aquantinces. Yeah." B.A.P all looked at me weirdly. "Anyways, where are the rest of the boys. I know they transfered here too. Where are they?" I shrugged. "Zico told me he was taking care of business. Anyways, you wanna hang out with me?" They all nodded. I turned to b.a.p and gave them a sad smile. "sorry but I have to go. Lunch was nice with you guys. I hope we could spend it together tomorrow too." I lied through my teeth.

 

I walked passed them when I heard Himchan growl "Bull". Suga stopped walking and turned to him. "What did you say to her?" Himchan stood up angrily. "Look, we both know she was lying through her teeth. Why lie, cant she just tell us the truth?" I closed my eyes and turned to him, pushing suga away. "You want the truth? I'm happy. I'm happy that you feel like you need to confront me about such a stupid matter. I was in fact going to spend tomorrow with B.A.P but you just cant stand to see me around with your friends, huh? You cant stand to see me walk around like nothing. You cant stand to see me with BTS or Block B. You cant stand me. Why? because you've realized what an you are. And everytime you see me around it reminds you of last year. It reminds you that youre a selfish, greedy, stupid, IDIOT! Well thats good for me. Because I hate to see people like you just saunter around and think they can have any girl they want- that they can do anything they want. You had me and you broke it all because of a stupid bet with that dork overthere" I pointed to Youngjae and he looked offended. "Well now I have a bammin' slammin' body and you've recognized all that you've lost." I spat back.

 

All the talking got me tired and I was panting for breath. "I'm leaving. Bye Yongguk, Jongup, Daehyun, And junhonggie" I said sweetly and turned around. BTS followed behind me and Jongguk jumped up and down beside me. "woooaaaahhh noona that was so wicked cool!! You set him right!" I smiled and slung my arm around his shoulder. "Of course jonggie. Youre noona is a fighter!" I said and he chuckled. "hey, we decided to have classes with you. Is that alright?" J-hope said from the back. "hm." I began. "seven classes a day with 19 idiots." I tapped my chin. "NINETEEN?!" they all shouted and everyone in the halls looked at us. I smacked them to shut them up.

"well theres seven of you, seven of block b, and six of b.a.p and most of them are already in all of my classes sooo nineteen." their mouths stayed open. I chuckled and kept walking.

 

7th period came and I sat in the teacher's aid desk. "Ah Heymi, nice to see you again." She smiled at me. "Nice to see you too miss kim!" I beamed and turned my chair so I could see everyone in the class. I saw a few students from last year but most of the seats were empty. The last bell finally rang and I counted in my head. "One, twoo, three" At the last count Block B and BTS ran in laughing and smiling. Its nice to see them back together again. "YAH! BOYS! WHY ARE SO SO LATE AND ROWDY!" Miss kim yelled. I pulled on her shirt and she bent down so she could hear me. "Theyre a couple of old friends that moved from other schools. This is the first time they've seen eachother in a few years and I kinda didnt tell them where this clasroom was so they may have gotten lost. Sorry ma'am"

 

She nodded and turned to them. "You guys are lucky that hyemi covered for you! Take your seats!" They all ran to their seats and Jimin was left dumbfounded. The only seat left was next to that dork , youngjae. He rolled his eyes and sat downsloppily and with attitude. I chuckled and turned around.

 

Later during class I could see Yongguk texting and once he was finished I hearn a knock at the door and one of the student presidents walked in. "Miss Kim, I need to see Bang Yongguk and Yoo Hyemi." My head shot up and I remembered what Yongguk said this morning. "that bastard" I muttered and followed after the boy. When we got outside Yongguk gave the boy some money and he was on his way. "What do you want?" I turned to Yongguk and he fell to his knees. My eyes widened as he grabbed my hands.

 

"About HImchan-" "Dont. Dont do this Bang." I pulled him up. "Dont appologize for him. I know you want to make me feel better but dont apologize for that ungrateful, stupid ." I showed him a smile. "But how can he make it alright with you? I dont want you guys hating eachother." I smiled again. "He cant" All of the sudden I heard large and strong footsteps from behind me. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN MAD AT ME? I DID NOTHING WRONG! YOUNGJAE MADE ME DO IT!" I looked at him and scoffed.