You see, life doesn’t always go your way.

He takes a deep breath as he looks up at the clear skies. He can feel the sun shining down on him, warmth seeping through his skin.

Sometimes, you have to lose one to gain another.

Kyungsoo looks at the horizon, rolling the pair of white, smooth stones in his hands.

He isn’t really the type to want to lose anything or anyone he loves.

He already made that mistake once before.

It feels surreal.

The breeze blows past him, cool and warm at the same time. Kyungsoo shudders anyway, gaze now fixated at the unmoving trees with its leaves falling upon him.

Why would he risk making another mistake? 

And losing another?

It’s like he’s walking barefoot through the memories he couldn’t forget, each falling leaf making him remember every bit of memory, ones he buried deep and ones he continues to remind himself of.

If this was a dream,

then it must have been the opposite of what’s real.

Because in here, Kyungsoo is alone…

He sits down on the white sand and takes a handful of it. The sand escapes through the gaps between his fingers and he watches, as they flow down like water, like time passing by.

But in reality, he isn’t.

The sky whirls like a hurricane, like it's eating the blue sky and it doesn't stop until all the blues are gone and then begins to bleed a beautiful shade of fiery orange.

It stops.

Kyungsoo watches the beautiful sky. Dusk has come.

He isn’t alone anymore.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and welcomes the nightfall.

He feels the cool breeze,

hears the silence of the calm sea,

hears the whisper of ‘I love you’

and feels the kiss on his lips.

The wind breezes and

Kyungsoo wakes up.

+ + +

“Good morning.”

Oddly, Kyungsoo can never get used to the touches. It’s like every feather-like touch, every kiss, every word Jongin whispers to him is the first time. And the welling of his heart, the one that sends butterflies fluttering in his stomach doesn’t go away.

Plump lips form into a heart-shaped smile before eyes flutter open and are met with the ones of the person he loves. Kyungsoo is blushing and is pulling the blanket to cover his face but Jongin isn’t having any of that. Jongin is smiling as well as he pulls the blanket away to see Kyungsoo’s face and leans down to kiss him on the tip of his nose, slowly, ever so carefully, then on his lids, and on his forehead, then down to his lips, where it lasted until Kyungsoo sighs.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Kyungsoo.”

A hand appears from under the blanket, reaches up to push the hair covering Jongin’s eyes to the side. And then they look at each other’s eyes. They seem to say something along the lines of ‘I love you’ and ‘I missed you’ but words need not be spoken anymore. They both already know.

Kyungsoo cups the side of Jongin's face, the other behind his lover's head, caressing his nape.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Jongin. I was waiting for you but I fell asleep."

Jongin's brows knits together, "You did?"

Kyungsoo nods, caressing the other's cheek.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," Jongin whispers, leaning down, weight on Kyungsoo, and a peck on his lips.

"I love you," Jongin whispers, lips an inch away from his, before kissing him again fully. Kyungsoo smiles into the kiss and responds.

It doesn't matter if they both know this. Jongin doesn't fail to remind him everyday anyway.

I love you,Kyungsoo tells Jongin in his head as the kiss deepens.

Mornings are filled with these-- breath-taking kisses and warm hugs and endless I love yous.

And it all ends with love making.

Jongin takes a hold of Kyungsoo's right hand by his head and intertwines their fingers, the other hand slides down to his waist. Kyungsoo gasps with the swipe of Jongin's tongue in his mouth and tries to follow Jongin's lead. A moan that Jongin revels in is released when the kisses moves down to Kyungsoo's neck. He lightly nips on the skin on Kyungsoo's jaw and laps at it after. Kyungsoo shudders and moans again.

Other times, Kyungsoo is able to take a hold of himself and stop before things go out of hand. He'd rather give Jongin more time to rest. But, of course, it is extremely hard to stop when his heart is beating loud and fast and his world is spinning, head dizzy.

The hand that was innocently holding his waist moves, snaking inside Kyungsoo's shirt and the first skin contact sends jolts in Kyungsoo, making him gasp and snap out of his daze. His other hand catches Jongin's wrist, stopping any further actions that will surely send him to the edge with no control.

"Jongin," he breathes out, other free hand cupping Jongin's face to catch his attention and look at him. "You need to sleep. Rest."

Jongin only groans. "You," he says in a husky voice, eyes clouded with affection that Kyungsoo almost loses his self-control. "Need you more." He nuzzles his nose onto Kyungsoo's neck.

Kyungsoo hums and doesn't stop the smile Jongin's words caused.  He wraps his arms around Jongin's neck and caresses the back of his head. He runs it through Jongin's hair, up and then drags it back down until it stops onto Jongin's shoulders then moves to cup his face again and pulls him for a kiss.

The kiss is chaste and Jongin moves to deepen the kiss but Kyungsoo pushes him lightly until he's able to change their position.

Now lying on top of Jongin, Kyungsoo places a sweet kiss on Jongin's cheek before saying, "Sleep. I'll wake you up when the food's ready," to which Jongin frowns.

"Just stay with me."

Arms are now wrapped around Kyungsoo's waist  and a leg around his, imprisoning him in Jongin's hold.

Kyungsoo laughs as he tries to struggle out of Jongin's hold. With how serious Jongin is at most times, one cannot imagine him acting like this,  possessive and utterly sweet at the same time. Kyungsoo hears the light laugh from Jongin, deep and melodious. He stills, giggling as he gives in to Jongin's hold.

"But just for five minutes, okay?"

Jongin tightens his hold around him and takes a deep breath. He buries his nose in Kyungsoo's hair and hums.

"Just five minutes." Kyungsoo hears him mutter in a sleepy voice.

He turns around and wraps his arms around Jongin's waist . Their five minutes, like always, lasts much longer than it should.

+ + +

Kyungsoo lightly blows the soup a few times before he brings the spoon to his lips. He pauses, tasting the soup in his tongue and then hums in satisfaction.

His phone rings and Kyungsoo jolts, closing the lid of the pot before wiping his hands dry and quickly yet quietly walking to where his phone is.

"Luhan."

His voice is quiet and calm but Luhan can still hear the excitement in Kyungsoo's voice.

"Hello, Soo."

He leans onto the doorframe of their kitchen. The news Luhan brought is truly surprising. He has known Luhan for so long, enough for him to know that Luhan has always treasured this but now he's willing to give it up so easily and he doesn't know how to properly react.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, very much."

Luhan answers without hesitation at all, like he's really very sure of his decision, like he’s always been sure. And it's not that Kyungsoo disagrees but he’s worried Luhan might regret it in the future. Luhan letting go of the shop he had been working hard on for so long to must have been a difficult decision to make.

"I still don't understand,  Luhan hyung. I thought this was something you would never let go of so easily like this."

"I thought so too. Because I believed I only have you and this. But Sehun came along and I..." Luhan pauses and Kyungsoo was sure his best friend wanted to tell to tell him the best way he can but can't. Because it's always like that with Sehun, always with overwhelming feelings that he finds no words to truly express how he feels. Kyungsoo knows, because Luhan is in love with Sehun just like how in love he is to Jongin. "... I want to give him everything I can, you see. Even my time."

Kyungsoo wets his lips and smiles. Now he understands. Luhan has never been the type to commit to a relationship. Sure, with a pretty face like his, it wouldn't be surprising to know that there have been a lot of men and women vying for his attention and Luhan might have entertained a few but not enough for him to have to commit to a relationship. Sehun changed that though when he came into Luhan's life.

"Whatever it is, if it will make you happy… I will continue to support you, hyung. I'm happy for you."

Somehow it makes Kyungsoo wonder if he and Jongin are just moving too slow or if it is Luhan that is moving too fast. He wonders, just like he always does, if he'll ever feel like the way Luhan does. Completely giving up what he wants for the other. He knows he loves Jongin, truly. But is it enough?

"Thanks, Kyungsoo. I knew you would understand."

Kyungsoo chuckles. "It's not like you needed my approval for you to make decisions anyway."

The pot is boiling and Kyungsoo hurries to turn off the heat.

"But this is something that I started with you. You helped me and I... I don't want you to feel like I'm giving up something we started just like that. I want you to know that I thought this over for a long time. I didn't want you to think that I'm forgetting about you because of Sehun. I will never…"

"I know, hyung. I know." Kyungsoo smiles, head lowered as he stares at the transparent lid getting fogged until the soup inside it is barely recognizable.

Sometimes he wonders about him and Jongin. Of what tomorrow will bring, of what comes after happily ever after.

Kyungsoo doesn't want an ending. With Jongin, he wants a continuous relationship that doesn't end. Why does love have to have an ending?

Kyungsoo is now serving the chicken soup in a bowl, phone already tucked safe in the front pocket of his apron, when a pair of arms circle his waist and a weight rest on his back and shoulder.

It's always a nice feeling that he already got used to the point that he doesn't get surprised anymore.

"Good morning, Jongin."

A kiss on his jaw from Jongin and Kyungsoo turns his face a little to the right to face the other and plant a kiss on his cheek. Jongin hums in satisfaction, tightening his hold on his waist and swaying their body a little bit left to right, right to left. Kyungsoo feels like he's being lulled back to sleep.

"Good morning, love."

The smaller turns his head away from Jongin to hide his blushing cheeks and uncontrollable smile. Jongin never fails to set butterflies flutter in his chest. Jongin, finding Kyungsoo adorable every single time he tries to do this--to hide his blushing cheeks--has a small smile on his face and he buries his nose in Kyungsoo's hair.

They stayed like that for a few more seconds until Kyungsoo's able to gather himself.

"Help me set the table?"

Jongin places one last kiss on the side of his neck before letting go of him.

"Who was that?" Jongin asks from the dining table as he is placing the chopsticks down on the table.

Kyungsoo pauses then continues to serve the kimchi.

"The call? It was Luhan hyung." Kyungsoo closes the lid and turns around, platters in hand.

He pauses, unable to stop the uncomfortable feeling in his chest all because Luhan called while he was asleep. Somehow, despite Luhan not being around as often anymore, Jongin still can feel Luhan's presence just as strong as it had been. He's like a constant reminder that if he isn't around, Kyungsoo will still be fine because there will always be someone around for him. Someone much, much better and deserving than him. Yet despite having someone like Luhan, Kyungsoo still chose him. Him of all people. Him who doesn't know about love.  Him who can't even provide everything Kyungsoo needs. Kyungsoo chose him and therefore he must, should always remind himself of that.

"What did he say?" Jongin asks, trying to look nonchalant about it as he finishes setting up the table.

Kyungsoo smiles at him, somewhat reassuringly, carefully, before answering, "He told me about wanting to quit the tea shop to spend more time with Sehun."

That made Jongin still for a second, before he regains his senses and walks to Kyungsoo's side and pulls the chair for him.

Kyungsoo mouths his thanks to which Jongin responds by bending down to place a chaste kiss on his lips, a hand on the backrest of his chair. And although Kyungsoo feels the small change in atmosphere, he kisses Jongin back just as lovingly. As if he is reassuring Jongin that it's okay, that he doesn't need Jongin to be like anybody else,because having him by his side is enough.

"Let's eat before the food gets cold," he whispers, Jongin's lips just an inch away.

Jongin hums in response.

They were silent for a while until Jongin talks again.

"I saw Luhan just this morning by the bar. He’s waiting for Sehun again."

Kyungsoo's face lightens up, glad to hear about his best friend from Jongin.

"Really? Did you talk?"

"Yes, he looked different, but still the same. He kept talking about you and Sehun. Guess his life really revolves around just the two of you."

Kyungsoo grins and Jongin almost felt jealous.

"Just like how mine revolves around just you and him."

Jongin wonders if it can just be him, no more Luhan. Just him.

"And how he'd spend his lifetime with Sehun and mine with just you."

And somehow it becomes all fine once again with Kyungsoo reassuring him.

Jongin grins back at Kyungsoo. His heart flips once, twice when Kyungsoo looks at him with his cheeks flushed.

* * *

 

Their relationship was no different to others. However, Kyungsoo will not deny the fact that it was nothing like how he expected it to be.

His parents spent their whole life happily together and the thing that proves their love for each other and binds it strongly is trust. Kyungsoo might not have witnessed it but he's heard of it, seen it in the way his father speaks of his mother. There were the occasional problems, struggles that his parents had gone through, like any other married couples and that was normal to a healthy relationship. One thing that can truly shatter a relationship built on promises and love is when the trust given is broken. His mother and father's love for each other were bound to an eternity.

That was exactly how Kyungsoo pictured himself with the person he will love. There will be problems, one that will test their trust for each other, and Kyungsoo was certain he and his beloved will be able to surpass it just like his parents.

He wasn't expecting to fall for someone he knows so little of and will test his trust like how Jongin does.

It's always in the back of his mind-- the thought of Jongin possibly waking up one day, realizing that he isn't the person he wants to spend an entire lifetime with, that he can have someone better or worse, that he has fallen for someone else. Kyungsoo sometimes finds himself wondering and each time there's a little part of his heart getting chipped away like it's taking little bits and pieces of his heart. It scares him.

But then Jongin comes home, not looking one bit tired and hugs him and kisses him and tells him he loves him. Kyungsoo melts in Jongin's hold and it was all enough to bury his worries deep in his mind as Jongin occupies the rest of it.

Kyungsoo isn't sure if he finds the sunsets more beautiful than scary. Staring up at the sky that bleeds fiery orange, Kyungsoo can’t help but feel nostalgic. He’s always seen the same sky back in Seoul but back then, back when all he cared about was his profession, he sees nothing but just the mere atmosphere. He doesn't see the beauty in it. But now that he does, it brings him different emotions, ones that make him feel at ease and anxious and the like.

Seeing the sky turning a shade as such marks the coming of nightfall. Yet another night he'll have to spend alone, sometimes sleepless even. He can't help it when the recurring feeling comes, can't help not think of what it is that bothers him.

It has began to feel chilly but Kyungsoo doesn't go back inside, trying to avoid seeing Jongin get ready to leave for work.

He was a hypocrite for telling Jongin that it's okay for it really isn't. True, he still and will always accept Jongin for whoever he is but the fear of losing him to someone much better is something that doesn't just go. It's a recurring fear.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you cold?"

Kyungsoo jolts in surprise when he feels strong arms began to wrap around his waist. But he soon relaxes, feeling the warmth from the blanket wrapped around him and Jongin and his body heat seep through him. Kyungsoo hums in satisfaction and leans his head back on Jongin's chest.

"Not anymore."

Opening his eyes, he turns to wrap his arms around the taller neck and they looked into each other's eyes.

"Aren't you going to get ready for work?"

Jongin looks at him, gaze averting from one eye to another as if trying to decide on something.

Leaning down, Jongin plants a sweet chaste kiss on the smaller's lips.

"I've decided to quit."

Shocked by the sudden news, Kyungsoo pulls a little bit away, though he still has his arms wrapped around Jongin, so that their eyes can meet.

"What do you mean? Jongin, why are you sudden--"

A kiss on the lips is what silences Kyungsoo.

"I found a new job," then he leans down for another chaste kiss, "and I wanted more time to spend with you. I can't take anymore nights without you."

Kyungsoo purses his lips to the side, brows meeting as he stares down to the space between them. It all looked like he feels bothered. Jongin began to worry even more when the smaller lets go of him.

Concerned and extremely worried about the way the other is reacting,Jongin holds Kyungsoo's face with one hand. The fiery orange from the bleeding sky reflects onto Kyungsoo's face and Jongin frowns when the smaller does not lift his gaze to meet his.

"Don't you want me to?"

Do you not want to see me as much as I want to see you? Spend time with me as much as I want to with you?  Are you tired of me already?

These are questions lingering on his lips, ready to be blurted out. But Jongin cannot find the voice to do so, afraid of what Kyungsoo's response might be.

"No," Kyungsoo blurts out, wide eyes darting to meet his gaze, "I do, I do. But… is it okay? Are you fine with that?" He takes a grip of the front of Jongin's shirt as if trying hard to convince him of something, "I told you before, didn't I? I'm fine with what you are right now. I don't want you to change just because--"

"But I want to, for you."

Jongin smiles before leaning down to kiss Kyungsoo's worries away. The smaller didn't respond at first, still unsure, but does later on for Jongin's kisses are like the sea, sometimes calm, sometimes coming in like a storm accompanies it and Kyungsoo can't help but be taken away, heart, body, and soul.

The soft kisses and the soft gasps soon turn into beautiful moans, and the situation turns heated when Jongin's hands drift down to Kyungsoo's jaw, to the soft corner of his shoulders, tracing it heatedly, and then to the small of Kyungsoo's back and tugs him closer until their chests are pleated together before slipping them inside his shirt and then Kyungsoo shudders.

Kyungsoo is lost right there and then, doesn't even notice when Jongin backs him up until they're inside their room and the back of his knees hit the corner of their bed.

Jongin takes in all of him, worships his body by trailing his jaw and shoulders with passionate kisses and bites right after he has successfully pulled his shirt off and Kyungsoo bites down his lips, trying to mute the pleasured groans he couldn't hold for long.

It's always like this with Jongin, whenever he touches Kyungsoo,  he does so gently,  so lovingly as if he is telling with every kiss that he loves him, more and more with each. Once again, Kyungsoo forgets about his worries, the uncertainty and his fear of what may come after everything has passed.

Tonight is different for as Jongin holds him close, as they whisper their love and need for each other in every heated kiss and rhythmic movement of their love-making, Kyungsoo doesn't feel worried, doesn't feel pain lingering in the small of his heart for tomorrow will be different.

Tomorrow, he won't wake up to the coldness of the morning as the sun seeps through his window drapes, there won't be long sighs as he longs for Jongin.

Tomorrow, there will be warm hugs and soft whispers of good morning and perhaps of sweet I love yous and blinding smiles.

Tomorrow, there will be Jongin by his side and he will be holding Jongin, close to his heart, close to the heart that belongs only to him.

Fin.

A u t h o r ' s N o t e

/screams into my fluffy pillows/ final notes + Sequel and side story will be on the next chapter~

I was listening to Ed Sheeran's Kiss Me while I was writing. Do listen to it as well if you want! Link is HERE!

Many thanks to Ate Nikka for helping me beta this chapter! Salamat Ate! :>

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