Like a Dream

He walks back to the couch and places two mugs of chamomile teas on the table. He settles in and watches in worry as Luhan heaves a deep sigh. He reaches out his hand to push his fringe to the side and Luhan doesn't even flinch.

"But Luhan I don't," he pauses when Luhan finally bring up his gaze to look back at him and his heart breaks a little at the sadness he sees. "I don't see why that is a problem."

Luhan sighs again, eyes clambering away as if looking for something but he just can't find it.

"He told me that, Kyungsoo. He told me that and I don't know why he said that to me--"

"Because he loves you," he cuts in. "He said he loves you because he does."

It's the second week that Kyungsoo had been worried sick because of his best friend's drastic change of mood, locking himself in his own apartment, and not even bothering to open the bubble tea shop, that he has taken so much care of. Although Kyungsoo has been visiting his best friend, it does not stop him from worrying because Luhan was never like this. In contrast to him, Luhan is a ball full of smiles and cheerfulness. And when he keeps to himself, Kyungsoo knows very well that something is wrong. And it's not just something that can be easily worked with. That's why on the fifth day, he pleaded for Luhan to stay over in his home. Maybe a change of environment would lighten up his best friend's mood, bring back the smiles and maybe tell him what went wrong.

Luhan doesn't open up immediately though. Kyungsoo made multiple efforts to stay by his best friend's side, even hiring a new part-time worker to look after the store during the day when he spends time with his best friend. Jongin still comes to visit but doesn't stay long because Kyungsoo had explained to him Luhan's situation and Jongin understands… tries to understand; his possessiveness over Kyungsoo beginning to grow more and more each passing day. Luhan does not open up until the third day, when Jongin doesn't show up in the morning.  It must have been one of those days he works a few extra hours in the office he works at that he had told Kyungsoo about.

"B-but...we... we have only known each other for months." And the way Luhan's eyes flickers in panic makes Kyungsoo reach out to hold his best friend's hands. 

"It doesn't matter Luhan. What matters is what's inside here," he brings Luhan's right hand onto his chest, right where his heart is.

"Don't you feel the same way?"

And Luhan stares at where his hand is placed over on his best friend's chest. The heart.

"But how... how do I know it's really love?" He looks at Kyungsoo in the eyes, looking lost and confused. "What if he isn't sure and I--I'm not even sure myself because I don't know how to know--"

Kyungsoo puts down his hand and squeezes Luhan's.

"You won't," he smiles and looks at Luhan. All this time, he had been thinking that Luhan knows more about love than he does. He only liked one man, ever, while Luhan had a few people he liked and a lot more people who liked him. He was just someone who lurks in the background while Luhan was someone else; a heartthrob back in their high school days. Luhan was the man that girls and boys wanted to date despite his single desire to fit in with the students. But there is something about Luhan's sparkling eyes, bright demeanor, and heartfelt laughs that draws in people.

"There's no specific way to know, Luhan. You'll just... feel it. Here," and this time he presses Luhan's hand onto his chest, directly over his heart, "in your heart." There's a specific person in Kyungsoo's mind and a smile blooms on Kyungsoo's face as he continues. "It's that one particular beating of your heart, so loud, so strong. And you'll know it happens only for that one person."

Luhan stares at his best friend's face. That smile doesn't look like the usual smile he sees from Kyungsoo. He only sees that when he is talking about Kai. And he wonders if he could also smile like that and feel the same feelings Kyungsoo has, for Sehun. He wonders if he could gather the courage to face the reality, if he could be brave enough to be greedy, to accept to himself and to Sehun what he actually feels... if this is real and not just a product of his fantasy. 

He worries that he might just be confused. That this could just be a spark of the moment situation… emotion. He could just be developing this solely because, for the first time, someone caught his attention and invaded his thoughts far longer than anyone ever did in more than one occasion. This could just be him deluding himself of a love he thought he would never garner for someone. But then...

Kyungsoo excuses himself to check the new dish he finished cooking. They already had their breakfast but Kyungsoo wanted to prepare another dish for someone who should be arriving by now.

Luhan places a hand over his chest.

There.

He feels his heart, beating slow and weakly, normally. 

Around Sehun it's like it's in havoc in there... like his heart goes berserk with just one look, one touch, one word from Sehun.

A knock on the door makes both of them turn their head to the door's direction.

Luhan knew just by the way Kyungsoo's face lights up that the person standing behind the door is no other than--

"Jongin," and like how it always is, it comes out as a soft whisper.

Kai looks at Kyungsoo with the same fondness in his eyes. A mixture of jealousy seeps right through Luhan when Jongin reaches out a hand to cup Kyungsoo's face, caressing Kyungsoo's cheeks ever so gently with the pad of his thumb. So lovingly. Kyungsoo leans in to the touch, eyes meeting Kai's gaze as his cheeks began to blush beautifully. It's already like a silent greeting for the both of them and Luhan wonders how such silence, how a mere gaze can tell so many that words can't. And he feels jealous. Because someone had made Kyungsoo feel like this, something he should have done. Because someone could take away his best friend from him. His only family. But at the same time, he feels jealous--or rather envious. Love blossoms so beautifully for Kai and Kyungsoo, and he wonder if that same thing can blossom so beautifully between him and Sehun. If love can blossom so beautifully and he wouldn't need to worry about something dark crushing it into pieces. If he can keep the love.

Kyungsoo walks into the room, bringing Kai with them and Luhan's gaze trails down to the hands intertwined together as the smaller tugs the one whose face falls into a stoic look the moment their eyes met.

"Take a seat," Kyungsoo gleefully says and Kai is hesitant but he takes a seat in front of Luhan. "I prepared a dish for you."

Kyungsoo smiles at Kai and it makes the other smile back. The smile fades away though, when the smaller walks to the kitchen, and they were left alone.

The two were silent, as if weighing the words they couldn't spill out. They don't sit straight to avoid bumping to each other's knees under the table. But Luhan knows what to say, he firmly stares at Kai.

"You know that you need to tell him, right?"

"I know," Kai throws a glance back at Kyungsoo before looking at Luhan. "and I will."

Luhan tilts the empty mug in his hand, tearing his gaze away from Kai. 

"Then do."

"I will... I just want to find the right time..." Kai doesn't like it that he is being told what to do but this is about Kyungsoo and he had no idea how to deal with himself and the idea of strong feelings he has had for the latter, in the first place... And this is Luhan. Someone who knows so much about Kyungsoo. Someone who spent most of his life being by Kyungsoo's side.

"Don't take too long. He already trusts you so much and I don't want him to end up getting hurt."

The words hang in the air and Kai mulls over it. He watches Luhan stand up and walk to Kyungsoo, enveloping the smaller into a hug from the back. This is Luhan and he could do that with Kyungsoo and he… he wonders if he could. He wonders if he could be greedy and pull Kyungsoo over to him even though he fears that the future with someone like him isn't that bright. He worries his darkness might in the brightness Kyungsoo has.

Luhan leaves after placing a kiss on Kyungsoo's cheek even though the latter pleads for him not to go. But he wants to face his own problem.  To toughen up and face Oh Sehun because this just might be his last chance. And he isn't entirely sure he could live the rest of his life regretting it if he denies what he truly feels, and at the same time hurting the one so special to him.

Kyungsoo and Kai are silent for a while until their gazes meet.

"So... hi." 

They smile, both blushing.

It always like this. Like it’s their first time meeting the other. They can never get used to the wonderful feeling welling inside their heart in the presence of the other.

Love is just around the corner. And both of their hearts are skipping on its way before they could even realize it.

Their knees are touching again and it send bolts into their bodies but neither moves.

"It's delicious," Kai starts after eating and wiping his lips with the table napkin. Kyungsoo's eyes flicker back to him. The shy smile Kai was expecting appears. And he watches as Kyungsoo babbles away.
"Oh, thank goodness. It was my first time trying out this dish so I was worried it might not--"

And Kai thinks he likes how the table is small because he just had to stand up and lean down, and their second kiss happens.

A kiss gets planted onto Kyungsoo's lips, stopping him from talking further.

When Kai pulls away and sits back with a warm smile on his face, Kyungsoo looks at him, face turning into a deep shade of red.

"Thank you." He says, clasping his hands together on the table.

Kyungsoo mumbles a 'you're welcome' before he stands up and carries the plates, where Kai ate, with him, and brings them to the sink. He puts on an apron before beginning to wash the dishes.

When did mornings start to become this heart fluttering?

Kai watches Kyungsoo's back, narrow shoulders stiffening. The small window just above the sink between the cupboards is open and rays of sunshine reflects inside the apartment and onto the floor, passing just an inch above Kyungsoo's hair. He studies the tiny particles of dust dancing, collecting around Kyungsoo's head. It makes Kyungsoo look like he is glimmering, like an angel. And maybe Kyungsoo is. An angel sent to Earth to salvage what hope there is left in the world. Clearly there isn't. But for Kai, it is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is the hope, the beauty, and the dream. 

His dream. 

And it's at that thought that Kai finally feels alarmed. He suddenly feels scared because his inadequacy may lead Kyungsoo away from him. Kyungsoo is a great person, people will love him all too easily... it's not really difficult to fall in love with Kyungsoo.  And him. He is just one broken speck in this vast universe, easily forgotten, easily ignored. And while Kyungsoo welcomes everyone and showers them with his love, Kai pushes people away from him. But not Kyungsoo. He doesn't think he is willing, or can even manage, to live without Kyungsoo, now that he finally knows Kyungsoo. Now that there is someone that keeps him excited at the break of the dawn, someone that can make him feel blissful more than any other material thing in this world. Someone that completes him.

He doesn't want to let go of that someone.

A flinch and a soft gasp comes out of Kyungsoo when he feels an arm wrapping around his waist. His shoulders goes stiff again. A chin gets propped on his right shoulder, and a kiss on his right cheek comes after. 

"Is it okay if I stay like this?"

It's that deep voice. Deep but warm. And it makes Kyungsoo smile, the blush on his cheeks starts blooming again.

Kyungsoo bites his lower lip to stop the noise threatening to escape his throat and then he answers. 

"Of course..."

Of course. Anytime.

And his shoulders relaxes as he continues what he is doing, albeit their hearts are doing the opposite.

Kyungsoo isn't sure if it's Jongin's heartbeat that he can feel since his chest is pressed against his back or if it is his own heart in a frenzy.

They stay like that while Kyungsoo washes the dishes. He thought asking questions would help him calm his heart down so he does.

"How was work?"

"Good. I had to take care of more clients but it's fine with me..."

And they talk like that; Kyungsoo asking questions about Jongin's work because it's the only thing he could ask about. Jongin never talks about his family or past. And although he is itching to ask the other about his past, to get to know him better, he doesn't, because he wants Jongin to answer him and keep the conversation going. So he asks what he knows Jongin would answer to.

And Kai nuzzles closer, closer into Kyungsoo's neck. Mumbling an answer, answering Kyungsoo's questions with a lie after another.

Guilt continues to stab his own heart but he isn't sure if Kyungsoo would be accepting of his profession. And he is scared of losing the other. So the lies continues.

Kai helps Kyungsoo dry the plates, holding out one plate for Kyungsoo to wipe dry and then carefully placing it on the plate holder. Their fingers lightly brush a couple of times but none of them makes a noise.

Kai sighs and wraps his arms around Kyungsoo again, hugging him tight, but not too tight. He doesn't want to let go. Kyungsoo stills for a few seconds before craning his neck to look at Kai and when he sees the other's eyes are closed, he brings up a hand he already dried and caresses the other's cheek.

"Sleepy?"

Kai isn't sleepy. He was. But now with Kyungsoo's presence, he isn't. Kyungsoo's presence works better than any caffeine to keep him awake.

He nods anyway.

"Do you want to take a nap here before you go?"

Kyungsoo almost immediately bangs his head onto the wall in front of him because that was a stupid question. Why would Jongin want to nap here? He has his apartment to sleep at and they both know that Jongin works overnight so he goes home immediately to sleep almost all day at his apartment. But then Jongin inhales, taking in Kyungsoo's scent and one of his arm climbs up his chest while the other stays around his waist.

"That sounds like a good idea..."

And Kyungsoo had to swallow hard, feeling extremely embarrassed as he wriggles to turn to Jongin. He cups Jongin's face, making him look at him with sleepy eyes.

"Then come on. Let's go to my room." 

One of the hands cupping Jongin's face slides down his arm to hold on to his hand. Kyungsoo starts to pull him towards his room. Jongin, however, pulls back, making them both stop on their tracks and the other looking back at him. When he looks down to their hands and intertwines their fingers, Kyungsoo stares at the hands first before raking his gaze up to meet Jongin's and there was a sheepish smile on Jongin's usual stoic face and Kyungsoo cannot help but do the same. Kyungsoo continues walking to his room again and Jongin lets himself be dragged.

Kyungsoo could easily just make Jongin sleep in the other room that is vacant. That might be more appropriate.  But he does not. Instead he pulls Jongin to the room where the latter had been in before, almost lifeless and with Kyungsoo sitting by his side, silently weeping. 

Jongin stands behind Kyungsoo as the latter prepares the bed although it was already made, arranging the sheets, stuffing the pillows, and pulling the blanket for Jongin to slip in. He looks back to Jongin and the latter looks a bit surprised. He was caught staring.

"Get in bed now," Jongin hesitantly slides in a knee and then another before he completely lies down in bed and only looks up at Kyungsoo. "You can sleep until how long you want and if you need something, you can call me. I'll just be downstairs and--" Kyungsoo tucks Jongin in bed like a little child, pulls the curtains and turns off the light. Only the wan light from the table lamp lits the room and it's only when Jongin catches his wrist with a hand that Kyungsoo actually looks at him in the eyes.

"Can you..." and Kyungsoo's pulse races because Jongin speaks in an almost inaudible voice and this feels almost like a deja vu, seeing Jongin on his bed although right now, Jongin stares back at him. "…stay by my side? At least until I fall asleep?"

Kyungsoo's heart seemed to have leapt out of his chest and he stays silent for a while, staring into Jongin's eyes and the latter almost wants to sigh hopelessly. But then Kyungsoo nods once and he sits down on the bed. Jongin pulls the blanket and scoots to make a space for him and when he settles down next to Jongin, a squeal-gasp comes out when Jongin pulls him closer to him, making him use his arm as a pillow, the other arm wrapping around his waist and his back pressed against the other's chest.

Jongin, for a moment, worries when Kyungsoo's breath hitches for a matter of seconds. Maybe this is too much, maybe he is already crossing the boundary and stepping into a dangerous new territory that Kyungsoo doesn't want him to cross. It's only when Kyungsoo relaxes in his hold and closes his eyes while his breathing starts to go back to normal that Jongin scoots even closer, burying his face onto Kyungsoo's soft hair. Kyungsoo relaxes in his touch and finally, the tides in Jongin's heart began to calm down.

They stay silent, listening quietly to each other's calm breathing. Jongin inhales again and takes in the smell that he had already associated with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo's smell has something Jongin had become very familiar with. He smells like the spring, like a baby, like someone bringing new life. Something astonishing and unique. And maybe, he realizes, this is Kyungsoo giving him a new life.

A new life filled with Kyungsookyungsookyungsoo. And he doesn't want anything more.

Jongin looks up to the galaxy-looking ceiling, filled with glow-in-the-dark shaped like meteors and stars and planets. He missed seeing those. There are nights when he would dream about seeing those things even when he is in his own apartment. There are nights when he would dream about seeing those things every night before he sleeps and there's a particular man with huge orbs in his arms as he falls asleep.

And when Kyungsoo turns around and hugs him back, he finally feels it.

Everything seems to be in its place. Like he and Kyungsoo is finally on their right place: right in each other's arms.

Like a dream come true.

Author's Note:

/cringes/ why is this turning too cheesy..

i was supposed to update last night but I fell asleep ahahah. And do you guys know how difficult it is to update using an iPad? It ing is very difficult. But I had to be patient because my laptop is a crap. /sobs

warning: school started so you know what that means.. In connection to my updates. Well because this is my last year and I need and want my transcript to look beautiful. :D

i hope you like this chapter! Comment / upvote! <3